Volume 8, Issue 20 Friday, May 19, 2006
Hello ALL,
As we continue to work on catching up with “Da Bleat” this week we blame the Blossom Festival. The whole weekend was spent at the festival or recovering from same.
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The photos on the front of this weeks “Bleat” include a shot of me “hard at work” while the guys practice their pumper truck skills, a great picture of the guys working “pump alley” and John Kennedy’s idea of what it felt like to finish the first morning of fire fighting.
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I had the privilege of going to the Emergency Services Training Institute with another great group this week. Beside the fellowship, they did a great job showing TEEX instructors how South Arkansas people can handle fire. We also enjoyed a side trip to see Bradley, Arkansas’s new fire station as well as a cruise through the Red River bottoms.
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We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleat3q.blogspot.com, and http://www.bugsbleat4q.blogspot.com. Our photos are now posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
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Don’t forget to check out www.mcc2000.net
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Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
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We were pleased to see that our friend Randy Lann and the Beech Creek Farms gang won it all. Best steak, best showmanship etc. They’ve done a great job for years and it’s time they won. I encourage y’all to watch food network for the second World Championship Steak Cook-off show, which will, features them.
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Even though we didn’t win, Annette and I had a great time working the Albemarle serving line. The first couple in line was from Michigan. They’d heard about the festival on food network and flown down to get a steak. We ended up serving about 600 people in about 30 minutes.
I was working beside Joe Bossier, handing out rolls while he passed out potatoes. The first few people that came through, I told that the rolls were baked fresh in the Jr. High kitchen. Finally Joe asked if that was true? I replied that I didn’t know where the rolls came from. It was just part of my show for the serving line.
He looked and we found that the box the rolls came in was from a bakery in Illinois or some such. But they were good rolls.
As the line moved, I started telling people that my wife had cooked them that morning, then later, I added that it was my mother’s recipe. When I started telling them that it was my grandmother’s recipe, Joe told me that I was the biggest liar he knew.
But the people were enjoying the story and I never let the truth stand in the way of a good story.
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Speaking of stories, my cousin Shannon is colleting family stories for publication. So I’m reissuing some of my favorite stories about my family. Look for these Taylor kid story "Titles" in upcoming issues:
Taylor kids "Fear factor" - eating the worm.
Wrecking the train.
A bucket of water is as good as half a day of work.
The Cussing Contest.
The cotton bale and the report card.
The burning school.
The one armed man.
The gunfight and the hobo.
I’m also going to resurrect some of the Charlie, Dinah Sue, and James Fort stories, such as;
The reverse Mohawk
"Silence Vassals"
The courageous washtub captain
The path to the pecan tree
The "secret" fire
Digging to China
Selling and returning Miss Nobie’s pecans
Hop-a-long Cassidy at the "lion" shack
Syrup can lid soapbox derby
Dirt clod grenades
"Don't Cry!"
"Kittens don't like to swim!"
The helmet spittoon
Friday night movies
Two's company - Three's a fight.
China Berry Tree House
Loggers make a fantasyland
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Taylor kids "Fear factor" - eating the worm.
Over the last 55 years, I’ve learned that nothing really changes. I’ve seen bell bottoms come and go and come back again. I had the privilege of seeing the introduction of the mini-skirt and hot pants and have seen them return in slightly altered form. I was there for the leisure suit and I hope to never see that again.
So it shouldn’t surprise you to know that “Fear Factor” is nothing new. Kids have been “daring” each other to do stupid things for all known history. The amount of money involved in the dare is all that’s changed.
Back about 70 years or so, seven kids were playing one day when one of them, Iris, dared her brother Fort to eat a caterpillar. He countered that he would for 25 cents (remember, at that time, 25 cents could get you into the show and buy a coke and box of popcorn.) The other six kids pooled their resources and displayed the 25 cents that was now on the line.
Fort calmly walked over to his mother’s pear tree, picked a pear, peeled it and sliced it then placed the caterpillar between two slices and ate the whole thing.
While his siblings argued over the incident and whether that had really met the challenge, Fort picked up the 25 cents and headed to town to buy some licorice.
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“The reverse Mohawk”
Twenty or Thirty years after the caterpillar incident, three cousins were enjoying their July 4th fireworks. Of course, it didn’t take long for one of them (Dinah Sue) to suggest that they pool their resources and make something truly impressive. She suggested that they empty their Roman Candles into a coke bottle and then light it.
So the kids each disassembled their fireworks and poured the powder and charges into the coke bottle. Now who was going to light it? To stave off an argument, Charlie suggested that they draw straws. Both Dinah Sue and James Fort drew short straws so the honor was left to Charlie.
The bottle was carefully set on a brick to keep it level and Charlie struck a kitchen match to use to light the device. He carefully dropped the match down the neck of the bottle and was rewarded with an instantaneous fountain of fire.
As we noticed, it was so instantaneous that he didn’t get a chance to get back out of the way before it erupted.
While he was laughing and pointing to the sky, we both were staring at his head. Where once there had been a smartly trimmed crew cut with enough “Butch Wax” to keep it in place all day, now there was a furrow exactly across the center of his head, running from front to back.
The flames had shaved a space about an inch wide from his eyebrows to the back of his head.
Charlie finally noticed that we were staring and asked us what the problem was. Dinah Sue pointed to his head and he felt up there. Upon finding the fresh furrow, he also found his pain threshold.
Charlie ran home where Aunt Mary Joyce applied lard to his head, a switch to his bottom for messing up his new hair cut and then called our parents. That phone call resulted in the confiscation of our remaining pyrotechnics.
We were disappointed but the show had been pretty good already.
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The next Albemarle Kids' Fishing Tournament will be Saturday June 3.
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Statement to XM Subscribers - The XM Nation
Everything we've done at XM since our first minute on the air is about giving you more choices. We provide more channels and music programming than any other network. We play all the music you want to hear including the artists you want to hear but can't find on traditional FM radio. And we offer the best radios with the features you want for your cars, homes, and all places in between.
We've developed new radios -- the Inno, Helix and NeXus – that take innovation to the next level in a totally legal way. Like TiVo, these devices give you the ability to enjoy the sports, talk and music programming whenever you want. And because they are portable, you can enjoy XM wherever you want.
The music industry wants to stop your ability to choose when and where you can listen. Their lawyers have filed a merit less lawsuit to try and stop you from enjoying these radios.
They don't get it. These devices are clearly legal. Consumers have enjoyed the right to tape off the air for their personal use for decades, from reel-to-reel and the cassette to the VCR and TiVo.
Our new radios complement download services, they don't replace them. If you want a copy of a song to transfer to other players or burn onto CDs, we make it easy for you to buy them through XM + Napster.
Satellite radio subscribers like you are law-abiding music consumers; a portion of your subscriber fee pays royalties directly to artists. Instead of going after pirates who don't pay a cent, the record labels are attacking the radios used for the enjoyment of music by consumers like you. It's misguided and wrong.
We will vigorously defend these radios and your right to enjoy them in court and before Congress, and we expect to win.
Thank you for your support.
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Here is the list of the politicians that will be in the Magnolia Blossom Festival parade on Saturday at 10:30 am. The public will be able to go by the Everyday Angels space on the Magnolia square following the parade Saturday to talk to the candidates and/or staff and pick up campaign literature. Our political guests will also be on stage at 6 pm for introductions during the World Championship Steak Cook-Off dinner prior to the Awards Ceremony.
Asa Hutchinson R Governor
Barbara Horn D AR. Senate
Bill Halter D Lt. Gov.
Bruce Maloch D AR. House
Burl Campbell D Co. Judge
Caren Harp R Prosecutor
Charlie Daniels D SOS
Don House D Treasurer
Dustin McDaniel D AG
Gunner Delay R AG
Jay Martin D Lt. Gov.
Jim Lagrone R SOS
Larry Atkinson D Co. Judge
Mac Campbell D Treasurer
Mike Beebe D Governor
Mike Hathorn D Lt. Gov.
Mike Ross D AR04
Paul Suskie D AG
Percy Malone D AR. Senate
Robert Herzfeld D AG
Robin Carroll D Prosecutor
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The Magnolia Quarterback Club will have a food booth at the Magnolia Blossom Festival Friday & Saturday selling “Loaded Baked Potatoes”. They will have a choice of Chicken, Beef, or Broccoli with your choice of fillins of sour cream, butter, green onions, chives, bacon bites, jalapenos, & cheese. Prices are $5.00 for a Chicken or Beef and $4.00 for a Broccoli Potato. Come, enjoy, & support your local Magnolia Quarterback Club!
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www.aaa.com Regular
Current Avg. $ 2.75
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
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Recipe(s) of the week - We’re sharing recipes from Shannon Voigt’s new Taylor Recipe Book
Microwave Chocolate Pie - Mary Joyce Taylor
Ingredients:
1 ½ cup sugar
4 or 5 Tbsp. cocoa (I use 4)
3 eggs
2 cups milk (can use 1 cup evaporated & 1 cup 1% milk)
3 Tbsp. flour
Pinch of salt
1 tsp. Vanilla
½ stick oleo (3 tbsp)
1 baked piecrust
Method:
Mix together first 6 ingredients in a microwave safe bowl (a two quart bowl works fine). Mix very well with a wire whisk. Cook two minutes on full power. Stir with whisk. Cook 3 more minutes. Stir. Cook 1 more minute. Add vanilla and oleo. Stir until oleo is melted. Pour into a baked pie shell & top with meringue.
Variation: For coconut pie, substitute ?-1 cup sugar and can of coconut for the cocoa.
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BreakPoint
With Chuck Colson
‘Handiphobia’
5/19/2006
Who’s Afraid of the Rain Man?
I recently told you about Jason McElwain. He’s the autistic high-schooler from Greece, New York, whose feats on the basketball court, in President Bush’s words, “captivated our country.”
Not surprisingly, McElwain’s story is being turned into a movie. What is surprising is that this is not the only movie being made about autistic people.
There are at least three other films scheduled for release or in production about autistic people and their families. The most highly anticipated of them is probably Daniel Isn’t Talking, starring Julia Roberts. Based on the novel by Marti Leimbach, it’s the story of a woman whose seemingly perfect world is turned upside down when her three-year-old son is diagnosed as autistic.
Leimbach, whose nine-year-old son, Nicholas, is autistic, says that stories about autistic people “[dramatize] the fact that none of us have perfect children.” In her estimation, this is why the stories have broad appeal.
As the grandfather of an autistic boy, I’m gladdened by the positive attention being given to people like my grandson Max, who has some amazing qualities. And one of BreakPoint’s writers and a valued colleague is a single dad raising an autistic boy. This subject is close to home. But, as a Christian, I cannot help but notice that all of this attention is coming at a time when it’s increasingly dangerous to be a handicapped child. They are squarely in the gunsights of those who are conducting what I call a “war on the weak,” which is what this present series is about.
The best-known advocate of this war is Princeton Professor Peter Singer. He has justified the killing of a handicapped child if it “leads to the birth of another child with better prospects of a happy life.” In this case, “the total quantity of happiness will be greater . . .”
It is tempting to dismiss Singer as a crank, that is, until you recall that, just last fall, the Netherlands legalized the killing of terminally ill children—this despite ample warning that the practice is not and will not be confined to the terminally ill. All Dutch children with birth defects are now at risk.
Outside the Netherlands, the threat is subtler, but no less real. Italian neonatologist Carlo Bellieni has coined the term handiphobia to describe the fear of having a disabled child. According to Bellieni, we in the West see “the fetus, as a means and not as the end they truly are.” Thus, “the child is no longer loved unconditionally and respected as a human person.”
Instead, we use prenatal testing to detect any identifiable defects in the unborn child. Those with such defects, like Down syndrome, are then aborted. As Bellieni puts it, “[A]s with all phobias, [the object of our fear] must be made to disappear.”
Well, that’s putting it starkly, but it is true: If a prenatal test for autism were ever developed, it would not be long before autistic people would also be “made to disappear.” While Leimbach is right about no one’s child being “perfect,” Bellieni is also right about how much “imperfection” we’re not prepared to accept.
That’s why I hope that stories like young Jason McElwain’s do more than make us feel good. I hope they also help us to understand the evil that comes from giving in to our fears.
This is part three in the “War on the Weak” series.
For Further Reading and Information
Please help support the Christian worldview ministries of BreakPoint and the Wilberforce Forum by donating online today or calling 1-877-322-5527.
“‘Handiphobia’ Leading Cause of Euthanasia,” Zenit News, 6 May 2006.
“300,000 U.S. Children Diagnosed with Autism,” Associated Press, 4 May 2006.
Marco R. della Cava, “Autism Moves Center Court in Film, Books,” USA Today, 26 April 2006.
Roberto Rivera, “Children Are the Good Life,” Boundless, 4 May 2006.
“Autistic Hoops Star Going Hollywood,” MSNBC, 2 March 2006.
“Roberts to Star in Daniel Isn’t Talking,” Comingsoon.net, 17 March 2006. Learn more about the book.
BreakPoint Commentary No. 060315, “The Real Point: Jason McElwain and Respect for Life.”
BreakPoint Commentary No. 050729, “A Life Worth Living: Max’s Classroom.”
BreakPoint Commentary No. 030409, “Questions of Life and Death: The Activist and the Professor.”
BreakPoint Commentary No. 051205, “Scary Science: Disturbing Developments on the Down Syndrome Front.”
BreakPoint Commentary No. 031023, “Who Is My Neighbor?: Radio.”
Charles Colson with Harold Fickett, The Good Life (Tyndale, 2005).
The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics.
© 2004 Prison Fellowship.
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Words of the Week:
appurtenance: an adjunct or accessory.
cupidity: eager or excessive desire, especially for wealth.
multifarious: having great diversity or variety.
fulsome: offensive from excess of praise.
arrant: outright; thoroughgoing.
palimpsest: an object or place whose older layers or aspects are apparent.
spurious: not genuine; false; illegitimate.
from Dictionary.Com
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"The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice." - George Eliot
" 'M' is for the million things she gave me, 'O' means only that she’s growing old, 'T' is for the tears were shed to save me, 'H' is for her heart of purest gold; 'E' is for her eyes, with love-light shining, 'R' means right, and right she’ll always be, Put them all together, they spell MOTHER, A word that means the world to me." - Howard Johnson
"Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation can be trusted to act humanely or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear." - Bertrand Russell
"Human beings are the only creatures who are able to behave irrationally in the name of reason." - Ashley Montagu
"All change is a miracle to contemplate; but it is a miracle which is taking place every instant." - Henry David Thoreau
"People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing." - Dale Carnegie
"Courage is the mastery of fear, not the absence of fear." - Mark Twain
“Take a chance! All life is a chance. The person who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The 'sure thing' boat never gets far from shore." --Dale Carnegie
“The trouble with work is that it interferes with living.” --Peter Mckill
"Every candle ever lit; every home, bridge, cathedral or city ever built; every act of human kindness, discovery, daring, artistry or advancement started first in someone's imagination, and then worked its way out. You have that power--use it." --Unknown
“We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.” --Kahlil Gibran
“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate." --Charles Dickens
"There are two ways of exerting one's strength -- one is pushing down, and the other is pulling up." --Booker T. Washington
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/
Going "Beyond the 11th" - Widows of 9-11 Establish Program to Help Afghanistan War Widows
Jason Straziuso / Aimee Herd reporting (May 13, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2505
"We wanted people to understand that these widows were widows because of the same terrorists that affected our husbands."
When Mothers Become Children - A Poignant Look at Aging
Marvin Olasky/Teresa Neumann Reporting (May 14, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2509
REPORTER'S NOTE: On this Mother's Day, many of us who have lost our mothers to the ravages of disease and/or old age can identify with this poignant and sweet testimony from an author who succeeds in giving us a glimpse into the emotional crucible of parent/child relationships.-- Teresa Neumann, Breaking Christian News.
UK Assisted Dying Bill Defeated in House of Lords
Andrea Minichiello Williams / Aimee Herd reporting (May 15, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2513
"This has been a great day for those campaigning to halt any move towards the legalization of euthanasia, in the United Kingdom."
Prayer & Action Alert: California Homosexual Education Bill Passes Senate, Proceeds to Assembly for Vote
Lynne Fishel / Aimee Herd reporting (May 16, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2517
"If the Assembly passes the bill (they have until August 31st to do so), the bill then goes to the Governor for signature or veto by Sept 30th."
Da Vinci Code Meets with Harsh Reviews from Critics
Kiera M. McCaffrey / Aimee Herd reporting (May 17, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2522
"The Cannes audience clearly grew restless, as the movie dragged on for two and a half hours, and spun a long sequence of anticlimactic revelations."
Medical Doctors to Convene to Provide Data Supporting Divine Healing
Joseph Park/Teresa Neumann Reporting (May 18, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2526
Some of the best in their medical fields will exchange notes on divine healing and present more than ten cases backed by medical data in which patients received healing by prayer.
Let's "Othercott" Da Vinci
Opinion Piece By Barbara Nicolosi (May 19, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2530
"Use your vote. Don't throw it away. [Go see] a movie other than Da Vinci Code. If enough people do it, the 'powers that be' will notice."
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GCF: Sunday Complaints
Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website:
SubscribeIf this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@egroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/ UNSUBSCRIBE INFO for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2005 before it was sent.
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After church one Sunday morning, a mother commented, "The choir was awful this morning."
The father commented, "The sermon was too long."
Their 7-year-old daughter added, "You've got to admit it was a pretty good show for a dollar."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: When One Shows Up
Emailed to me from another humor list (You Make Me Laugh) -Tom To subscribe to You Make Me Laugh, send a blank email to: SUBSCRIBE-laugh@lists.crosswalk.com
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A preacher prepared for Sunday morning service, but only one person, a farmer, was there. He asked the farmer, "What do you think we should do?"
The farmer replied with a drawl, "Well, if only one cow came into the barn, I'd feed it."
So the preacher mounted the pulpit and began to preach ... and preach ... and preach. After about two hours, he concluded.
Then he stepped down and said to the farmer, "So, what did you think?"
The farmer replied, "Well, if only one cow came into the barn, I certainly wouldn't try to feed it all the hay."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Caddy Advice
Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day) -Tom To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to: martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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Standing on the tee of a relatively long par three, a confident golfer said to his caddy, "Looks like a four-wood and a putt to me."
The caddy argued with him a bit and suggested that he instead play it safe and hit a four-iron then a wedge. The golfer was insulted and proceeded to scream and yell at the caddy on the tee telling him that he was a better golfer than that and how dare the caddy under estimate his game.
So, giving in, the caddy handed the gentleman the four-wood he had asked for. He proceeded to top the ball and watched as it rolled about fifteen yards off the front of the tee.
Immediately the caddy handed him his putter and said, "And now for one long putt..."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Housekeeping Husband
Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day) -Tom
To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to:
martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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My friend's husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better. Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away.
When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, he crowed, "I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath."
I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added sheepishly, "When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Could Be Worse ... Oh, Wait, It Is
Found at The Shark Tank (Computerworld) -Tom
http://www.computerworld.com/action/sharktank.do?command=viewDailyFull&date=20060512&source=NLT_SHARK&nlid=6
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This old courthouse is being remodeled, and it's up to the county IT department to pull out the network and phone cables, reports a technician who's on the crew doing the cutting and pulling.
"We don't want the wrong cable cut, as we still have fiber and phone lines running through to another building," the tech says. "We have been very carefully tracing, tagging and pulling cables for two days."
"On the last day, we walk back to the shop to get ready to leave, and the boss comes in and tells us that we must have cut a fiber cable. The network and IP phones are down in the other building, and they are a little irate to say the least."
The technician knows his crew hasn't cut any fiber, but they go back to check. They inspect both buildings, but they can't find any sign of the break.
It's when they're walking one last time between the buildings that they overhear a conversation that provides a clue. "The construction foreman was talking about the heavy-duty forklift tearing up the lawn and getting stuck," reports the tech.
"You guessed it: The fork lift had run over our green plastic in-ground cable vault. When we went to look, all we saw was mud and fiber cables ripped in two. They had gotten the fiber but missed the 100-pair phone trunk, thank goodness. And here we were, so very careful."
"Then it started to rain."
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____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I am willing to make \ /
\ _/ the mistakes if someone else \_ /
/ / is willing to learn from them. \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Crime wouldn't pay \ /
\ _/ if the government ran it. \_ /
/ / \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / A cow tried to jump over \ /
\ _/ a barbed wire fence. \_ /
/ / It was udder destruction! \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Who edits fishing shows? \ /
\ _/ How do they decide \_ /
/ / what's too boring? \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / Why is lemon juice mostly \ \_/ ////
\ / artificial ingredients but \ /
\ _/ dishwashing liquid \_ /
/ / contains real lemons? \ _ ____________________________ _
Thomas S. Ellsworth
tellswor@slonet.org
http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor
____________________________
Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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[GCFL.net] The Poor Tailor and the French Restaurant
Old Abraham was a poor tailor whose shop was next door to a very upscale French restaurant. Every day at lunch time, Abraham would go out the back of his shop and eat his black bread and herring while smelling the wonderful odors coming from the restaurant's kitchen.
One day, Abraham was surprised to receive an invoice from the restaurant for "enjoyment of food." So he went to the restaurant to point out that he had not bought anything from them. The manager said, "You're enjoying our food, so you should pay us for it."
Abraham refused to pay and the restaurant sued him. At the hearing, the judge asked the restaurant manager to present his side of the case. The manager said, "Every day, this man comes and sits outside our kitchen and smells our food while eating his. It is clear that we are providing added value to his poor food and we deserve to be compensated for it."
The judge turned to Abraham and said, "What do you have to say to that?"
Abraham didn't say anything but stuck his hand in his pocket and rattled the few coins he had inside.
The judge asked him, "What is the meaning of that?"
Abraham replied, "I'm paying for the smell of his food with the sound of my money."
Received from Thomas S. Ellsworth.
(-:][:-)
[GCFL.net] Two Sisters
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. To keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so they can breed their own stock.
They have only $600 left. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette has only $1 left. She realizes that she'll be able to send her sister just one word.
After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'"
The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable'?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's a blonde. The word's big. She'll read it very slowly: 'com-for-da-bull'!"
Received from Lois Reed.
(-:][:-)
[GCFL.net] Young Clergyman
A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the fears and temptations his future congregations faced if he first took a job as a policeman for several months. He passed the physical examination; then came the oral exam to test his ability to act quickly and wisely in an emergency.
Among other questions he was asked, "What would you do to disperse a frenzied crowd?"
He thought for a moment and then said, "I would take up a collection."
Received from Paula Sanning.
(-:][:-)
[GCFL.net] Typoglycemia
Don't delete this because it looks weird. Believe it or not you can read it!
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch taem at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Such a cdonition is arppoiately cllaed Typoglycemia.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and yuo awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorant.
GCFL note: Please forgive us for not spell-checking this funny! :)
Received from Anthea Williams.
(-:][:-)
-=+=-
Rate this funny at http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
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The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php
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True Stories of Bizarre Employment Interviews:
• “At the end of the interview, the candidate expressed her interest in getting the position, but only if her boyfriend liked the company and the hiring manager. She then said, ‘He's waiting outside. Can I bring him in to say hello?’”
• “After answering the first few questions, the man picked up his cell phone to call his parents and let them know the interview was going well.”
• “When asked by the hiring manager why she was leaving her current job, the applicant said, ‘My manager is a jerk. All managers are jerks.’”
• “The candidate entered the lobby and identified herself to the receptionist. She then pulled two pairs of shoes from her bag and asked, ‘Which pair do you think I should wear with this suit?’”
• “When asked why he wanted to work for the company, the applicant responded, ‘That's a good question. I really haven't given it much thought.’”
• “When told she would meet with another interviewer, the young woman said, ‘Wait just a minute.’ She then proceeded to reapply her makeup and hairspray, all in the first interviewer's office.”
• “He referred to his former boss by name, calling him a ‘big jerk’ and ‘a pain in the neck.’ It turned out that that the interviewer had the same last name and that they were related.”
• “After being complimented on his choice of college and the grade point average he achieved, the candidate replied, ‘I'm glad that got your attention. I didn't really go there.’”
• “The company sent an employee to meet a prospective candidate at the airport. Getting off the plane, he said it was far too cold to live in this city and he took the next flight home.”
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• Seen on Bumper Stickers:
--You! Off my planet!
--Air Pollution is a mist-demeanor.
--Editing is a rewording activity.
--Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
--Make yourself at home .....clean my kitchen
--Allow me to introduce my selves
--Better living through denial
--The older I get, the better I used to be.
--I'm just working here until a good fast food job opens up....
--A work desk is a garbage can with drawers.
--Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
--The one who snores, falls asleep first.
--Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
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• Why is Cinderella a bad basketball player?
...She has a pumpkin for a coach!
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• Deep Thought: I think a really funny joke would be for NASA to send up rockets and push a bunch of planets out of alignment. Then they could sit back and laugh when everyone realizes that their horoscopes aren't coming true.
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Top Rejected Action Hero Catch Phrases:
• "Let's agree to disagree, punk."
• "I'll be back. As long as I'm going, do you want anything from the Bath and Body Shop?"
• "Use the biggie-sized gun, Luke!"
• "I'm about to give you one more reason to vote for universal health care!"
• "I know you are, punk, but what am I?"
• "You just messed with the wrong motivational speaker, my friend!"
• "Chili con carne, baby!"
• "You're going to want to put some ice on that."
• "Yippie Ki Yay, Mother Superior!"
• "Where do you want to hurt today?"
• "Let's mambo with Mr. Pain!"
• "Do you feel like chicken tonight, punk?"
• "Justice? You're soaking in it!"
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• Spelling Options:
• If GH can stand for P: Hiccough
• If OUGH can stand for O: Dough
• If PHTH can stand for T: Phthisis
• If EIGH can stand for A: Neighbor
• If TTE can stand for T: Gazette
• If EAU can stand for O: Plateau
• Then the right way to spell POTATO should be: "GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU"
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• Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
--In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
--In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
--In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
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Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.
*Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say*
10) "EEEEEKKK!!!!!!"
9) "Exterminator down! Exterminator down! Send backup!!! Extermin..."
8) "The GOOD news is... you have termites."
7) "Do you happen to have a large net?"
6) "You know, I'm also a taxidermist."
5) "Ma'am, I'm afraid you need to let me take the oatmeal raisin cookies with me."
4) "FIRE IN THE HOLE!"
3) "Hi, I'm Willie Nelson and I'll be your exterminator today."
2) "Duck!"
1) "Shazbot! I accidentally killed Mindy!"
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*Bigger Piece*
One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller; You don't love me any more..."
"Nonsense, darling," replied the husband, "you just cook better now."
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*Odd News Reports*
*"The license fee for altered dogs with a certificate will be $3 and for pets owned by senior citizens who have not been altered the fee will be $1.50."
*"Dr. Benjamin Porter visited the school yesterday and lectured on 'Destructive Pests.' A large number were present."
*"The sewer expansion project is nearing completion but city officials are holding their breath until it is officially finished."
*"The ladies of the county medical society auxiliary plan to publish a cookbook. Part of the money will go to the Samaritan Hospital to purchase a stomach pump."
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*Kids' Kitchen Terms*
BOIL: The point a parent reaches upon hearing the automatic "Yuck" before a food is even tasted.
CASSEROLE: Combination of favorite foods that go uneaten because they are mixed together.
DESSERT: The reason for eating a meal.
EVAPORATE: Magic trick performed by children when it comes time to clear the table or wash dishes.
FRUIT: A natural sweet not to be confused with dessert.
REFRIGERATOR: A very expensive and inefficient room air conditioner when not being used as an art gallery.
SODA POP: Shake 'N Spray.
TABLE LEG: Percussion instrument.
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*Inferior Bags*
It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large order.
As the harried looking clerk lifted the final bag for her, its bottom gave way, sending the contents crashing to the floor.
"They just don't make these bags like they used to," the clerk blurted to the customer.
"That was supposed to happen in your driveway!"
Eye Laugh
"Robert's Tweaking"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw239
"You Lookin' at Me?"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=33
"Barbed References"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=32
"Giraffe Big"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=31
"Computer Arch"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=30
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Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/employeedearest.html - - Employee Dearest Dear Employee: Congratulations on your ___ (fill in the blank) anniversary at StaffPeopleInESpace.com ("SPIES"). We hope you have enjoyed your ___ (fill in the blank) years at SPIES as much as we have.
It's time, as you know, for your annual review, which we have decided to do this year by email. In the past, we made every effort to conduct employee reviews face to face. Frankly, however, in person interviews are very time consuming. Plus we had far too many fatalities.
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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The Complete Guide to E-mail - - http://www.inc.com/magazine/20051001/email-intro.html - - This site by Inc.com presents a complete guide to keeping your system secure, efficient, compliant, and affordable. This guide outlines the biggest e-mail concerns, particularly security, compliance, and archiving.
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Mold Fact Sheet - - http://www.cdc.gov/mold/ - - Mold information by the Centers for Disease Control. Information includes a FAQ, fact sheets on specific molds, cleanup and remediation guidelines, discussions about mold and dampness in indoor spaces, and related material.
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NOAA: Ocean Explorer - - http://www.oceanexplorer.noaa.gov/ - - This Website has been created by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration: Explore the ocean realm with NOAA. This Web site chronicles the adventures and discoveries of NOAA's at-sea science and education teams.
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Talking History - - http://www.talkinghistory.org/ - - Talking History, based at the University at Albany, State University of New York, is a production, distribution, and instructional center for all forms of "aural" history. Site's mission is to provide teachers, students, researchers and the general public with as broad and outstanding a collection of audio documentaries, speeches, debates, oral histories, conference sessions, commentaries, archival audio sources, and other aural history resources as is available anywhere.
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How Digital Cameras Work - - http://www.howstuffworks.com/digital-camera.htm - - The digital camera is one of the most remarkable instances of this shift because it is so truly different from its predecessor. Conventional cameras depend entirely on chemical and mechanical processes -- you don't even need electricity to operate them. On the other hand, all digital cameras have a built-in computer, and all of them record images electronically. In this Howstuffworks article, find out exactly what's going on inside these amazing digital-age devices.
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GovEngine.com - - http://www.govengine.com/ - - This site is dedicated to promoting e-Government initiatives and interconnectivity between the federal, state and local levels of government with the citizens. GovEngine's goal is to provide to the citizens of the United States of America an educational awareness and broadened understanding of online government accessibility and to emphasize the communication and cooperation between all branches and levels of government with the public. Site contains over 17,000 federal, state, and local governmental links.
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HousekeepingChannel.com - - http://www.housekeepingchannel.com/ - - HousekeepingChannel.com (HC) is a comprehensive resource for "Better, Faster, Healthier" cleaning and housekeeping. HC exists to help you clean, protect and enhance your home environment using proven processes and practices from cleaning experts, professional cleaning services, environmental service professionals, and organizational and time-management consultants.
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------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
May 17, 2006
Driving Safety
Today's Safety From the Heart message was submitted by Robert Dunning.
Try to expect the unexpected!
This can cause you to have a bad day. On the way home from work yesterday the car in front of me made a left turn. The problem was they had no brake lights or turn signal. I was barely able to stop in time in order to avoid a bad accident.
Because I was driving my motorcycle, it would have been all the worse for me. Had I not been paying attention I might not be writing this today. Fortunately I did have a good safe distance between myself and the car in front of me, but when I realized the car was turning, my safe distance quickly diminished to almost nothing!
For your safety and others, please be sure your brake lights and signals work and use them. Please don't follow too close.
Happy motoring.
RW Dunning
------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
May 16, 2006
Cruise Control
Today's Message is from Robert Henley (a Houston Albemarle employee).
NEVER KNEW THIS BEFORE. I wonder how many people know about this?
A 36-year-old female had an accident several weeks ago and totaled her car. A resident of Kilgore, Texas, she was traveling between Gladewater & Kilgore. It was raining, though not excessively, when her car suddenly began to hydroplane and literally flew through the air. She was not seriously injured but very stunned at the sudden occurrence! When she explained to the highway patrolman what had happened he told her something that every driver should know - NEVER DRIVE IN THE RAIN WITH YOUR CRUISE CONTROL ON. She had thought she was being cautious by setting the cruise control and maintaining a safe consistent speed in the rain.
But the highway patrolman told her that if the cruise control is on and your car begins to hydroplane -- when your tires lose contact with the pavement, your car will accelerate to a higher rate of speed and you take off like an airplane. She told the patrolman that was exactly what had occurred.
The highway patrol estimated her car was actually traveling through the air at 10 to 15 miles per hour faster than the speed set on the cruise control.
The patrolman said this warning should be listed, on the driver's seat sun-visor - NEVER USE THE CRUISE CONTROL WHEN THE PAVEMENT IS WET OR ICY, along with the airbag warning. We tell our teenagers to set the cruise control and drive a safe speed - but we don't tell them to use the cruise control only when the pavement is dry.
------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
May 18, 2006
Lawn Mower Safety
by Kim Boudreaux, BRT employee
Now that the sun is shining and rain is falling again, we all need to have our grass mowed. If you are like me and do it yourself, be ever vigilant of the dangers of lawn mowers. Several years ago I was mowing the very front of my yard. Unbeknownst to me a rock flew out from my mower and hit the side window of a passing car. Luckily no one in the car was hurt.
After the driver got over her shock, she came back to my house to show me what had happened. My homeowners insurance paid to fix her window and the incident was resolved. But ever since them I am always aware of passing cars or pedestrians while mowing the front of the yard. If a person or car is passing, I actually pause my mowing to allow the car or person to pass before I continue mowing. It sounds a little obsessive, but I do not want an incident of this type to occur again. And I have a different mower now that doesn't shoot the grass out the side. Something else to consider when purchasing a new lawn mower.
------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
Quit For Your Family’s Sake!!
The Surgeon General reports that a third of all lung cancer deaths, in nonsmokers, are due to secondhand smoke inhalation. Living with a smoker for 20 years does as much damage to your body as smoking 5 to 6 cigarettes a day and doubles your risk of heart attack.. If you smoke, quit to help
yourself, your family and your friends. If you live with a smoker, ask them to stop for the sake of your health.
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ. www.mcc2000.net
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Daddy's Poem
Her hair was up in a pony tail,
her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
and she couldn't wait to go.
But her mommy tried to tell her,
that she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand,
if she went to school alone.
But she was not afraid;
she knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
of why he wasn't there today.
But still her mother worried,
for her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
she tried to keep her daughter home.
But the little girl went to school
eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees
a dad who never calls.
There were daddi es along the wall in back,
for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
anxious in their seats
One by one the teacher called
a student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
as seconds slowly passed.
At last the teacher called her name,
every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
a man who wasn't there.
"Where's her daddy at?"
she heard a boy call out.
"She probably doesn't have one,"
another student dared to shout.
And from somewhere near the back,
she heard a daddy say,
"Looks like another deadbeat dad,
too busy to waste his day."
The words did not offend her,
as she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher,
who told her to go on.
And with hands behind her back,
slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
came words incredibly unique.
"My Daddy couldn't be here,
because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
since this is such a special day.
And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
and how much he loves me so.
He loved to tell me stories
he taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
and taught me to fly a kite.
We used to share fudge sundaes,
and ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him.
I'm not standing here alone.
"Cause my daddy's always with me,
even though we are apart
I know because he told me,
he'll forever be in my heart"
With that, her little hand reached up,
and lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
beneath her favorite dress.
And from somewhere here in the crowd of dads,
her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
who was wise beyond her years.
For she stood up for the love
of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
doing what was right.
And when she dropped her hand back down,
staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
but its message clear and loud.
"I love my daddy very much,
he's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
but heaven's just too far.
You see he was a policeman
and died just this past year
When airplanes hit the towers
and taught Americans to fear.
But sometimes when I close my eyes,
it's like he never went away."
And then she closed her eyes,
and saw him there that day.
And to her mothers amazement,
she witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
all starting to close their eyes.
Who knows what they saw before them,
who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
they saw him at her side.
"I know you're with me Daddy,"
to the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
of those once filled with doubt.
Not one in that room could explain it,
for each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.
And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
by the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
that heaven is never too far.
They say it takes a minute to find a special
person, an hour to appreciate them,
a day to love them, but then an entire
life to forget them.
Take the time...to live and love.
Until eternity. God blesss
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God, when I received this e-mail, I thought...
I don't have time for this... And, this is really inappropriate during work.
Then, I realized that this kind of thinking is... Exactly, what has caused lot of the problems in our world today.
We try to keep God in church on Sunday morning...
Maybe, Sunday night...
And, the unlikely event of a midweek service.
We do like to have Him around during sickness...
And, of course, at funerals.
However, we don't have time, or room, for Him during work or play...
Because.. That's the part of our lives we think... We can, and should, handle on our own.
May God forgive me for ever thinking....
That... there is a time or place where..
HE is not to be FIRST in my life.
We should always have time to remember all HE has done for us.
Jesus said, "If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father."
Yes, I do Love God.
HE is my source of existence and Savior.
He keeps me functioning each and every day. Without Him, I will be nothing. But, with Christ, HE strengthens me. (Phil 4:13)
THE POEM
I knelt to pray but not for long, I had too much to do. I had to hurry and get to work For bills would soon be due So I knelt and said a hurried prayer,
And jumped up off my knees.
My Christian duty was now done
My soul could rest at ease.
All day long I had no time
To spread a word of cheer. No time to speak of Christ to friends,
They'd laugh at me I'd fear.
No time, no time, too much to do,
That was my constant cry,
No time to give to souls in need
But at last the time, the time to die.
I went before the Lord, I came, I stood with downcast eyes. For in his hands God held a book; It was the book of life.
God looked into his book and said
"Your name I cannot find.
I once was going to write it down..
But never found the time"
Now do you have the time to pass it on?
Make sure that you scroll through to the end.
Easy vs. Hard
Why is it so hard to tell the truth but Yet so easy to tell a lie?
Why are we so sleepy in church but Right when the sermon is over we suddenly wake up?
Why is it so hard to talk about God but yet so easy to talk about nasty stuff?
Why is it so boring to look at a Christian magazine, but yet so easy to look at a nasty one?
Why is it so easy to delete a Godly e- ma il, but yet we forward all of the nasty ones?
Why are the churches getting smaller but yet the bars and dance clubs are getting larger?
There once was a man named George Thomas, pastor in a small New England town. One Easter Sunday morning he came to the Church carrying a rusty, bent, old bird cage, and set it by the pulpit. Eyebrows were raised and, as if in response, Pastor Thomas began to speak..."I was walking through town yesterday when I saw a young boy coming toward me swinging this bird cage. On the bottom of the cage were three little wild birds, shivering with cold and fright. I stopped the lad! and asked, "What you got there, son?" "Just some old birds," came the reply.
"What are you gonna do with them?" I asked.
"Take 'em home and have fun with 'em," he answered. "I'm gonna tease 'em and pull out their feathers to make 'em fight.. I'm gonna have a real good time" "But you'll get tired of those birds sooner or later. What will you do?"
"Oh, I got some cats," said the little boy. "They like birds. I'll take 'em to them."
The pastor was silent for a moment "How much do you want for those birds, son?"
"Huh?? !!! Why, you don't want them birds, mister. They're just plain old field birds. They don't sing. They ain't even pretty!"
"How much?" the pastor asked again
The boy sized up the pastor as if he were crazy and said, "$10?"
The pastor reached in his pocket and took out a ten dollar bill. He placed it in the boy's hand. In a flash, the boy was gone.
The pastor picked up the cage and gently carried it to the end of the alley where there was a tree and a grassy spot Setting the cage down, he opened the door, and by softly tapping the bars persuaded the birds out, setting them free.
Well, that explained the empty bird cage on the pulpit, and then the pastor began to tell this story.
One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, and he was gloating and boasting. "Yes, sir, I just caught the world full of people down there Set me a trap, used bait I knew they couldn't resist. Got 'em all!"
"What are you going to do with them?" Jesus asked.
Satan replied, "Oh, I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna teach them how to marry and divorce each other, how to hate and abuse each other, how to drink and smoke and curse. I'm gonna teach them how to invent guns and bombs and kill each other. I'm really gonna have fun!"
"And what will you do when you get done with them?" Jesus asked. "Oh, I'll kill 'em," Satan glared proudly. "How much do you want for them?" Jesus asked
"Oh, you don't want those people. They ain't no good. Why, you'll take them and they'll just hate you. They'll spit on you, curse you and kill you. You don't want those people!!"
"How much?" He asked again.
Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, "All your blood, tears and your life."
Jesus said, "DONE!"
Then He paid the price.
The pastor picked up the cage he opened the door and he walked from the pulpit.
Notes: Isn't it funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell.
Isn't it funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but still follow Satan (who, by the way, also "believes" in God).
Thanks to Eric Morrison
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F A M I L Y
I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you."
We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said goodbye.
But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,
"While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."
By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.
"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."
I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.
I love you anyway."
I said, "Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."
FAMILY
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company
that we are working for could easily replace us in
a matter of days.
But the family we left behind will feel the loss
for the rest of their lives.
And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more
into work than into our own family,
an unwise investment indeed,
don't you think?
So what is behind the story?
Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU
Thanks to Laurel J. Becnel
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Activities and Events of Interest
~~~
The Blossom Festival and World Championship Steak Cook-Off is Coming May 19 and 20. If you enjoy beautiful Magnolia Blossoms, good food, great entertainment, and southern hospitality, Magnolia, Arkansas is where you need to be on the third weekend in May.
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Albemarle Kids' Fishing Tournament - June 3
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The Purple Hull Pea Festival is scheduled for June 23 and 24
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The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/
01 Staff Sgt. Emmanuel L. Legaspi, 38, of Las Vegas, Nev., died of injuries sustained in Tal Afar, Iraq, on May 7, when his unit came under enemy small arms fire during combat operations. Legaspi was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 36th Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 1st Armored Division, Friedberg, Germany.
The Department of Defense announced the death of four Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
02. Lance Cpl. Jason K. Burnett, 20, of St. Cloud, Fla.
03. Lance Cpl. David J. GramesSanchez, 22, of Fort Wayne, Ind.
04. 2nd Lt. Michael L. Licalzi, 24, of Garden City, N.Y.
05. Cpl. Steve Vahaviolos, 21, of Airmont, N.Y.
All four Marines died May 11 as a result of a vehicle accident in Al Anbar province, Iraq. All four Marines were assigned to the 2nd Tank Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.
06. Spc. Ronald W. Gebur, 23, of Delavan, Ill., died of injuries sustained in Baghdad, Iraq, on May 13, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV during combat operations. Gebur was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 22nd Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.
07. Spc. Armer N. Burkart, 26, of Rockville, Md., died of injuries sustained in Baghdad, Iraq, on May 11, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV during combat patrol operations. Burkart was assigned to the 1st Squadron, 71st Cavalry Regiment, 10th Mountain Division, Fort Drum, N.Y.
08. Lance Cpl. Adam C. Conboy, 21, of Philadelphia, Pa., died May 12, as a result of a non-hostile incident in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Base Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii.
The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Baghdad, Iraq, on May 11, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their HMMWV during combat patrol operations. Both soldiers were assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 6th Field Artillery Regiment, 10th Mountain Division, Fort Drum, N.Y.
Killed were:
09. Pfc. Eric D. Clark, 22, of Pleasant Prairie, Wis.
10. Pfc. Stephen P. Snowberger III, 18, of Lopez, Pa.
11. Lance Cpl. Richard Z. James, 20, of Seaford, Del., died May 13, while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.
The Department of Defense announced the death of two Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
12. Lance Cpl. Jose S. MarinDominguez Jr., 22, of Liberal, Kan.
13. Lance Cpl. Hatak Yuka Keyu M. Yearby, 21, of Overbrook, Okla.
Both Marines died May 14, while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar province, Iraq. They were both assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Base Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii.
14. Spc. Brandon L. Teeters, 21, of Lafayette, La., died on May 12, in Ludwigshafen, Germany, of injuries sustained on April 20, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his Bradley Fighting Vehicle during combat operations in Baghdad, Iraq. Teeters was assigned to the 8th Squadron, 10th Cavalry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, Fort Hood, Texas.
The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Baghdad, Iraq, on May 15, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their vehicle during combat patrol operations. Both soldiers were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 8th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Heavy Brigade Combat Team, Fort Carson, Colo.
Killed were:
15. Staff Sgt. Marion Flint Jr., 29, of Baltimore, Md.
16. Pfc. Grant A. Dampier, 25, of Merrill, Wis.
The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died on May 14, in Yusufiyah, Iraq, when their aircraft was shot down during combat operations. Both soldiers were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 160th Special Operations Aviation Regiment (Airborne), Fort Campbell, Ky. Killed were:
17. Maj. Matthew W. Worrell, 34, of Lewisville, Texas.
18. Chief Warrant Officer 5 Jamie D. Weeks, 47 of Daleville, Ala
19. Capt. Shane R. Mahaffee, 36, of Alexandria, Va., died on May 15, in Landstuhl Regional Medical Center, Landstuhl, of injuries sustained on May 5, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV during combat patrol operations in Al Hillah, Iraq. Mahaffee was assigned to the Army Reserve's 489th Civil Affairs Battalion, Knoxville, Tenn.
20. Staff Sgt. Santiago M. Halsel, 32, of Bowling Green, Ky., died of injuries sustained in Baghdad, Iraq, on May 16, when an improvised explosive device detonated while he was conducting a dismounted clearance mission during combat operations. Halsel was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 502nd Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.
The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Baghdad, Iraq, on May 14, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their HMMWV during combat operations. 1st Battalion, 312th Training Support Battalion, 4th Brigade, 78th Division (Training Support) , Fort Bragg, N.C. Killed were:
21. Chief Warrant Officer 4, John W. Engeman, 45, of East North Port, N.Y.
22. Master Sgt. Robert H. West, 37, of Elyria, Ohio
23. Cpl. William B. Fulks, 23, of Culloden, W.Va., died May 18, at Brooke Army Medical Center, San Antonio, from wounds received while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar province, Iraq, on May 1. He was assigned to the 2nd Reconnaissance Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.
http://icasualties.org/oif/default.aspx
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Volume 11, Number 53 --- 16 May 2006
Tourbus Home -- http://www.InternetTourbus.com
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TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPICS: Google Desktop / Free Fax / Myspace
In today's TOURBUS, find out who is claiming that Google's Desktop software is Evil, and why. Also in this issue, how to send a free fax on the 'Net, and more articles in my series about Myspace safety and privacy. Read on!
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Is Google Desktop Evil?
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A reader concerned about online privacy wrote to me and asked:
"I got a warning from a friend who told me not to use the Google Desktop program. He says it will secretly make copies of my personal files and send them to Google's own servers, and they could also be made available to the government. Is this true?"
If you've gotten a copy of an email saying things like "Google Copies Your Hard Drive - Government Smiles in Anticipation" and "Consumers Should Not Use New Google Desktop" -- you can relax... the Google Desktop software won't secretly send copies of your love letters to Uncle Sam. Here's the truth about the "Search Across Computers" feature that was added to Google Desktop software earlier this year.
Yes, it's true that if you use the Search Across Computers feature, Google Desktop will transfer an encrypted copy of certain files to a Google server, so you can search for files on all of your computers at once. It's a handy tool for power users who have files scattered across multiple computers. But nothing is being done in secret, or without your permission, and your personal files are NOT available to other users.
So why are some privacy pundits claiming that if files are stored on Google servers, then the government, business rivals or an ex-spouse could easily obtain them with a subpoena? To get all the facts about the Search Across Computers feature, and the identity of the *real* bad guys in this story, continue reading here:
http://askbobrankin.com/is_google_desktop_evil.html
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Send a Free Fax
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Don't have a fax machine? That's no longer an obstacle to sending or receiving a fax. And the news is even better than that. You can use the Internet to send a fax for free.
There are a bunch of websites that make this claim, but some of them ask for your credit card in order to open a "free trial account." If you want a truly FREE internet fax service, with no strings attached, then FaxZero fits the bill. It will help you send a fax to any fax machine in the United States (including Puerto Rico) or Canada for free. For complete details on how it works, and other free fax alternatives, click here:
http://askbobrankin.com/send_a_free_fax.html
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Myspace: Safety and Privacy
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Are you concerned about young teens who are using Myspace? I've written a series of articles that look closely how kids are using Myspace, what they (and their parents) can do to stay safe, and the privacy concerns of social networking that you may not have thought about. Here are some of the articles in the series:
* [PRIVATE MYSPACE PROFILE] - "My child is 16 and has a Myspace page. He tells me the only way to make his Myspace profile private is to set his age to 14 or 15 years old. Is there a way to set the account to private (so only friends can visit their page) without lying about your age?"
http://askbobrankin.com/private_myspace_profile.html
* [BLOCKING MYSPACE] - "My daughter is 12 years old and I just found out she has a Myspace account with some inappropriate content. The account was deleted, but I want to make sure she has no access to Myspace in the future. How can I do this?"
http://askbobrankin.com/blocking_myspace.html
* [MYSPACE SAFETY TIPS] - Are teens putting themselves at risk by posting too much personal information on Myspace? Is Myspace a danger to kids that should be tightly controlled or shut down?
http://askbobrankin.com/myspace_safety_tips.html
If you are a regular user of Myspace and want to learn more about customizing your Myspace home page, or how to use the advanced search features, read these other articles in the Myspace series:
* [MYSPACE LAYOUTS]
http://askbobrankin.com/myspace_layouts.html
* [ADDING MUSIC TO MYSPACE]
http://askbobrankin.com/add_music_to_myspace.html
* [MYSPACE GRAPHICS]
http://askbobrankin.com/myspace_graphics.html
* [SEARCHING IN MYSPACE]
http://askbobrankin.com/searching_in_myspace.html
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That's all for now, see you next time! -- Bob Rankin
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==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]==
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238 Copyright 1995-2005, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved Tourbus News Service - http://tourbus.com/news.html Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the Tourbus Website - http://www.TOURBUS.com
========================
.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
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Scheduled Activities
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Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 8 p.m. Monday - Friday. At noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and at 7 p.m. Sunday at 914 N. Vine
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Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
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Columbia County Diabetes Support Group - Every third Monday, 7:00 p.m. room 222, Magnolia Hospital
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"Focus on the Family" with Dr. James Dobson weekday afternoons at 1 PM on KVMA am 630 it's a great show!
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MCC - Abraham Prayer - Sunday at 5:00 p.m and Wednesday from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm
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MCC - Early Morning Prayer - Monday - Friday, From 6:30 am to 8:00 am
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MCC - "Beth Moore" Video Class - Thursday nights at 5:45 pm
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MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets at 1051 Columbia 36 the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
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MCC - Firm Foundations Class, Sunday 9:30 to 10:15 a.m
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MCC - Meadow Brook Nursing Home Ministry Tuesday from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m
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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
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MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
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Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Narcotics Anonymous 5-6 pm every Monday at 220 Pine street.
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TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) 5 pm every Tuesday in the Magnolia Hospital break room.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
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Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Psa 145:1-3 Luke 24:9-11 Psa 119:162-165 Psa 71:7-8 Mat 7:16-20 James 5:16 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII
P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. For the "Blog" version just go to http://bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com/ to see the latest issue. We also have a site [http://bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com/] where we post photos that I like.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. Of course "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com to see the latest issue (usually updated sometime Friday evening or Saturday morning. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2006 before it was sent.
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v1.jpg)
The guys conquor "Pump Alley"
Steve Downey supports an attack on the foam project.
We used a few extinguishers on the loading terminal. 
"Bug" hard at work while his guys practice with one of ESTI's pumpers
John Kennedy's visual of our fire school experience.
Buddy Kyle, Greg Harrell and Don Voss celebrate survival in the "Warehouse" 
Our MCC folks at one of our latest "Faith" Luck dinners
Sister Lesley Walthall admiring one of her birthday presents
Dr. Pullig and our favorite nurse, Nancy Terry at his retirement reception