Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Second Try

Volume 8, Issue 23 Friday, June 09, 2006

Hello ALL,

We’re continuing to attempt to catch up with our publication schedule.
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Over the last week we’ve read; “Bitter ocean: the Battle of the Atlantic, 1939-1945" by David Fairbank White. “Death match” by Lincoln Child. And “The planet pirates” by Anne McCaffrey, Elizabeth Moon, Jody Lynn Nye.
“Bitter Ocean..” was a great book of the struggle for the North Atlantic during WWII. And, I’ve discovered that I like almost anything written by Elizabeth Moon.
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The photos on the front of this weeks “Bleat” include Ethan, Gizmo and our new tile, John and Annette tear up the old flooring in the kitchen, and ... a mess of greens ready for the pot.
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This week’s Taylor kid story "The Cussing Contest.”

Iris and Fort were playing outside one day when Fort challenged her to a “Cussing Contest.” Mom agreed and Fort said “You go first.” So she thought a minute, wanting to be sure to use her word wisely and then saw a fly buzzing around Fort’s head. She shouted “D__n Fly!”
Whereupon Fort turned and ran to the house shouting “Mama! Mama! Iris said D__n!”

Miss Mary came out the back door just as my mother caught Fort and was starting to whollop him. Miss Mary said “Iris did you use that word?” My mother tried to explain but Miss Mary would have none of it. She kept repeating “Iris, did you use that word?”
Finally, my mother realized that she had lost the battle (but not the war) and confessed that yes, she had said D__n.

Miss Mary whipped her, of course.

But Fort spent the rest of the day wondering what Iris would do to get even. He found out when he went to get his baseball that afternoon. It was missing.
Iris denied all allegations that she’d taken it or done anything with it.
Strangely, the Newton family was playing ball the next day. That was strange because they were the poorest family in Taylor and no one could figure out how they could have afforded a ball.
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This weeks Charlie, Dinah Sue, and James Fort story is, “The path to the pecan tree”

Every summer, we ran barefoot, only wearing shorts. This was no problem except on the north side of grandmother’s house where there was a fairly healthy yard of grass that also was full of “stickers.”

That side of the house was where the swing set was and the great pecan tree. So we couldn’t avoid it.

Charlie came up with the idea of building a road from the front porch to the swing set to the pecan tree. So for several days we dug under the edge of the house (where the dirt was soft) and hauled it in my red wagon to the north side where we constructed a dirt path around the house.

Upon completion we could run all the way around the house without getting one sticker. Or at least we could until the grass and stickers grew up out of our road.
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Don’t forget to check out www.mcc2000.net
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Magnolia Christian Center had a GREAT “Bar-B-Q Lunch Fundraiser” to support Children and Student's summer camps on Thursday. They sold a JUMBO BBQ Sandwich, Chips, a Homemade Brownie and a drink for $5.00
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Attitude is Everything

ATTITUDE

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.

"Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today." So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.

"H-M-M, " she said, "I think I'll part my hair down the middle today." So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.

"Well," she said, "Today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail." So she did and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head.

"YEAH!" she exclaimed, "I don't have to fix my hair today!"

Attitude is everything.

"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."

Thanks to Norma Kay Rowe
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We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Or http://www.bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at http://www.bugsbleatfirst.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleat3q.blogspot.com, and http://www.bugsbleat4q.blogspot.com. Our photos are now posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
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Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
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www.aaa.com Regular
Current Avg. $ 2.75
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
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Recipe(s) of the week - We’re sharing recipes from Shannon Voigt’s new Taylor Recipe Book
Cheese Straws - - Donna Gail Hanson

Ingredients:
2 cups (8 oz.) shredded, sharp cheddar cheese
½ cup butter or margarine, softened
½ all-purpose flour
1 tsp. Paprika
½ tsp. salt
¼ to ½ tsp. red pepper

Method:
Combine cheese and butter in a large mixing bowl; beat well at medium speed with an electric mixer. Combine remaining ingredients stirring well. Gradually add flour mixture to cheese mixture, mixing until dough is no longer crumbly. Shape mixture into a ball. Use a cookie gun to shape into straws on wax paper or roll out into a log and slice.
Place strips on un-greased baking sheets; bake at 375º for 10-12 minutes or until lightly brown. Store in an airtight container, placing wax paper between layers.
Notes: Yields 8 dozen
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Judge: Web-Surfing Worker Can't Be Fired
Apr 24 - NEW YORK

Saying surfing the web is equivalent to reading a newspaper or talking on the phone, an administrative law judge has suggested that only a reprimand is appropriate as punishment for a city worker accused of failing to heed warnings to stay off the Internet.
Administrative Law Judge John Spooner reached his decision in the case of Toquir Choudhri, a 14-year veteran of the Department of Education who had been accused of ignoring supervisors who told him to stop browsing the Internet at work.

The ruling came after Mayor Michael Bloomberg fired a worker in the city's legislative office in Albany earlier this year after he saw the man playing a game of solitaire on his computer.

In his decision, Spooner wrote: "It should be observed that the Internet has become the modern equivalent of a telephone or a daily newspaper, providing a combination of communication and information that most employees use as frequently in their personal lives as for their work."

He added: "For this reason, city agencies permit workers to use a telephone for personal calls, so long as this does not interfere with their overall work performance. Many agencies apply the same standard to the use of the Internet for personal purposes."

Spooner dispensed the lightest possible punishment on Choudhri, a reprimand, after a search of Choudhri's computer files revealed he had visited several news and travel sites.

Martin Druyan, Choudhri's lawyer, called the ruling "very reasonable."

Copyright 2006 The Associated Press.

~

I guess my question is ... do you think it’s accepted practice for workers to make personal calls and/or read the newspaper at work?
~~~~~
BreakPoint
With Chuck Colson

Defending the Strangers in Our Midst
6/9/2006

The Demonizing of Immigrants

Did you know that “95 percent of warrants for murder in Los Angeles are for illegal aliens?” Or that “75 percent of people on the Most Wanted List in Los Angeles are illegal aliens”? What’s more, “Over [two-thirds] of all births in Los Angeles County are to illegal alien Mexicans on [Medicaid] whose births were paid for by taxpayers.”

This is outrageous. Especially since none of it is true! Instead, it’s just one example of how, in some ways, we have gone beyond worrying about illegal immigration to demonizing the immigrants themselves.

This example came from a widely circulated e-mail that was posted on at least 130 conservative websites. It listed ten “facts about immigration” and gave as its source the Los Angeles Times.

Not only was the Los Angeles Times not the source of these “facts,” when the paper examined the alleged “facts,” none of them withstood scrutiny. Some of them distorted the data: For instance, approximately 62 percent of all births in Los Angeles County are to Hispanic women. But this number includes American citizens, legal aliens, Hispanics from countries other than Mexico, and has nothing to do with Medicaid.

The so-called “facts” about illegal alien criminality are even worse: They are deliberate misrepresentations or complete fabrications.

Unfortunately, this is only the tip of an often very ugly iceberg. The illegal immigration problem is often called an “invasion” that threatens the existence of the United States. Illegal aliens are depicted as part of an effort to “reconquer” the American Southwest. And it’s not only illegal immigrants: American citizens of Mexican ancestry are also regarded as part of this plot.

Now, there are a few fringe Latino groups that talk about “reconquista”—that is all they are, however: fringe. To judge all Latinos, including illegal aliens, by the words of these groups is as fair as judging all Christians by the actions of clinic bombers or Fred Phelps.

A concern for fairness isn’t the most important reason that Christians ought to oppose this demonization of “the strangers in our midst.” As theologian T. M. Moore recently wrote on BreakPoint Online, “God defends strangers. He has compassion for those who have left all and risked all to find new lives in a strange country.”

Moore reminds us that God expects His people’s “attitude toward the strangers and sojourners in their midst” to reflect His own concern.

Now, this does not mean that Christians ought not to be concerned about the massive lawbreaking, by both illegal immigrants and those who employ them. We must! The rule of law is a Christian contribution, coming out of the Reformation, and it requires respect for law, just as the Bible does. Nor does it mean that there’s one particular immigration proposal that Christians ought to be supporting.

What it does mean is that Christians must work to see that the immigration debate generates light instead of heat. We must insist that the illegal-immigration issue be addressed without treating millions of Americans, many of whom have died protecting our country, as a kind of fifth column.

That is the very least we can do if we are obedient to God’s command to welcome strangers. And that’s a fact I got from the highest possible Source.

For Further Reading and Information

Today’s BreakPoint offer: Subscribe today to BreakPoint WorldView magazine! Call 1-877-322-5527.

T. M. Moore, “Strangers in Our Midst,” BreakPoint Online, 26 April 2006.

“Just the Facts—Updated,” Borderline blog, 4 May 2006.

David Neiwert, “Reconquista!” Orcinus blog, 17 April 2006.

David Neiwert, “Border Crossings,” Orcinus blog, 5 June 2006.

Tim Cavanaugh, “Borders without Visas,” Los Angeles Times, 23 May 2006.

Bill O. Hing, “Republican Immigration Reform Strategy Memo,” ImmigrationProf blog, 1 June 2006.

“Modes of Entry for the Unauthorized Migrant Population,” Pew Hispanic Center, 22 May 2006.

Professor Stephen Bainbridge, “The 1965 Immigration Act,” ProfessorBainbridge.com, 19 May 2006.

Richard Rodriguez, “America’s Impure Genius,” Los Angeles Times, 19 May 2006.

Mae M. Ngai, “How Grandma Got Legal,” Los Angeles Times, 16 May 2006.

BreakPoint Commentary No. 060411, “Illegal Immigration: The Real Root of the Problem.”

BreakPoint Commentary No. 060508, “Illegal Immigration: A Biblical Perspective.”

The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics.
© 2004-2006 Prison Fellowship
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Words of the Week:
glabrous: without hairs or projections; smooth.
extricate: to free or release from a difficulty or entanglement.
contumely: rudeness compounded of haughtiness and contempt.
bravura: a showy display.
paucity: fewness; insufficiency.
arbiter: one having the power of judging and determining.
discrete: constituting a separate thing; also, consisting of distinct or unconnected parts.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"I think there is only one quality worse than hardness of heart and that is softness of head." - Theodore Roosevelt

"We shall tax and tax, and spend and spend, and elect and elect." - Harry Lloyd Hopkins

"Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote." - George Jean Nathan

"Publicity is justly commended as a remedy for social and industrial diseases. Sunlight is said to be the best of disinfectants; electric light the most efficient policeman." - Louis Dembitz Brandeis

"I have got you together to hear what I have written down. I do not wish your advice about the main matter - for that I have determined for myself." - Abraham Lincoln

"The thing that makes you exceptional, if you are at all, is inevitably that which must also make you lonely." - Lorraine Hansberry

"A government of laws and not of men." - John Adams
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

Cervical Cancer Vaccine Approved for Use in the US - Said to be "Nearly 100 Percent Effective"
BBC Staff / AH (Jun 9, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2614
"This vaccine is a significant advance in the protection of women's health."

A More Peaceful World for Our Children and Grandchildren: President Bush on the Death of Al-Zarqawi
Teresa Neumann Reporting (Jun 8, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2611
The following is the official statement by President Bush on the Death of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi:

Most Wanted Terrorist in Iraq "Meets His End" - Abu Musab al-Zarqawi is Killed in Airstrike
Liza Porteus / Aimee Herd reporting (Jun 8, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2610
"Zarqawi's death is a severe blow to Al Qaeda, it's a victory in the global War on Terror, and it's an opportunity for Iraq's new government to turn the tide of this struggle."

While Senate Vote on Marriage Protection Amendment Comes Up Short - States Continue to Stand by Traditional Marriage
News Staff / Aimee Herd reporting (Jun 7, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2606
"This is an issue that is of significant importance to many Americans."

June 6th - Remembering a Day Called: "The beginning of the end."
News Staff / Aimee Herd reporting (Jun 6, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2602
EDITOR'S NOTE: Much hype has been given to today's date, since it is the 6th month, 6th day and the year 06. This day IS profound, but for another reason. It is the 62nd anniversary of D-Day, when allied forces landed on the beaches of Normandy, France. There, brave men fought, some paying with their lives, for the freedom we hold dear. That is certainly something to remember on this day. - Aimee Herd, BCN.

Millions of Believers from Almost 200 Nations Pray during the Global Day of Prayer
News Staff / Aimee Herd reporting (Jun 5, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2598
"There are more than 4,000 venues across Africa, where an estimated 40 million Africans are joining the river of prayer that's sweeping the continent, and the world."

The Azusa Street Project - Brand New Documentary of the 1906 Azusa Street Revival to Air on TBN - Sunday, June 4th
Erica Sims (Jun 4, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2595
Our mission is to tell the story of an obscure American superhero involved in the most powerful and underrated move of God in the last 2000 years.

Bishop Harry Jackson Urges Senate to Approve Marriage Protection Amendment
Allie Martin, Jody Brown / Aimee Herd reporting (Jun 3, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2592
"Gay rights is not an extension of the civil rights movement, simply because there's no choice involved in our blackness."
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GCF: Second Try

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom
Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website:
Subscribe

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@egroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/ UNSUBSCRIBE INFO for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2006 before it was sent.
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Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m., I discovered that it had not been one of my wife's better days. Nothing I said or did seemed to be right.

By 7 p.m. things had not changed, so I suggested I go outside, pretend I had just got home, and start all over again. My wife agreed.

I went outside, came back in and, with a big smile, announced, "Honey, I'm home!"

"And just where have you been?" she replied sharply. "It's after seven o'clock!"

_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Award Shows

Emailed to me from another humor list (You Make Me Laugh) -Tom To subscribe to You Make Me Laugh, send a blank email to: SUBSCRIBE-laugh@lists.crosswalk.com
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Can you believe how many award shows they have now? It seems like that have an award show for everything.

They even have awards for commercials! The CLIO Awards, a whole show full of commercials.

I taped it and then I fast-forwarded through the whole thing.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Customer Service

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I had just pulled into a parking spot at the home improvement store when smoke and flames began pouring from under my hood.

Frantic, I bolted into the store and ran up to the first clerk I saw. As luck would have it, he was standing behind the Customer Service counter.

"Please help," I gasped. "My car's on fire! I need a fire extinguisher!"

Without even looking up, he replied, "Aisle 12."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Postponed Test

Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day) -Tom To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to: martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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One of my students could not take my college seminar final exam because of a funeral.

"No problem," I told him. "Make it up the following week." That week came, and again he couldn't take the test due to another funeral.

"You'll have to take the test early next week," I insisted. "I can't keep postponing it."

"I'll take the test next week if no one dies," he told me.

By now I was suspicious. "How can you have so many people you know pass away in three weeks?" I asked.

"I don't know any of these people," he said. "But I'm the only gravedigger in town."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Collect Call

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom
Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website:
Subscribe
-----------------------------------------

My wife was away all weekend at a business conference.

During a break, she decided to call home collect. Our six-year-old son picked up the phone and heard a stranger's voice say, "We have a Betty on the line. Will you accept the charges?"

Frantic, he dropped the receiver and came charging outside screaming, "Dad! They've got Mom! And they want money!"
_ ____________________________ _

Every once in awhile I send something for "reader participation." This is one of those emails. Below you will find the start of two lists:
(1) Shortest Lists
(2) Longest Lists

The idea, if you wish to participate, is to reply to this email and provide your own "shortest" and "longest" lists. I will collect the responses and publish them in the future. Of course, the lists will be edited so that they conform to the rules of Good Clean Fun.

Again, only reply if you wish to participate. And please let me know if you wish your response to remain anonymous or if I can use your first name. I will never use last names. This might be fun. We'll see what happens.

Here are the "starter" lists (and no offense is intended!)

SHORTEST LISTS
Complete list of native German Humorists
Complete list of honest politicians
Complete list of book reviews by Paris Hilton

LONGEST LISTS
Complete list of egocentric professional athletes
Complete list of TV viewers tired of reality shows

Tom

PS: Thank you for the idea, Jack.

This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2006 before it was sent.
_ ____________________________ _
____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / Education is what remains \ \_/ ////
\ / after one has forgotten \ /
\ _/ everything one learned in school. \_ /
/ / --Albert Einstein \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Mechanic: "I couldn't \ /
\ _/ repair your brakes, \_ /
/ / so I made the horn louder." \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Most people work just hard \ /
\ _/ enough not to get fired and \_ /
/ / get paid just enough not to quit. \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / How did I get so round \ /
\ _/ from eating square meals? \_ /
/ / \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / If you think advertising doesn't\ /
\ _/ work, consider the millions of \_ /
/ / people who now think that \ yogurt tastes good.
_ ____________________________ _
Thomas S. Ellsworth
tellswor@slonet.org
http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor
____________________________
Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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[GCFL.net] Sixteenth Century Colloquialisms

Some of these have been around a long time, but we thought they were interesting. Enjoy!

Colloquialisms from the 16th Century

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase "goodnight, sleep tight."

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month or what we know today as the honeymoon.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them mind their own pints and quarts and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's."

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden.... and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and were still smelling pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the b.o. Baths equaled a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."

Houses had thatched roofs. Thick straw, piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the pets. . . dogs, cats and other small animals, mice, rats, bugs, lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really mess up your nice clean bed. So, they found if they made beds with big posts and hung a sheet over the top, it addressed that problem. Hence those beautiful big 4 poster beds with canopies.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt, hence the saying "dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors, which would get slippery in the winter when wet. So they spread thresh on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on they kept adding more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed at the entryway, hence a "thresh hold."

They cooked in the kitchen in a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They mostly ate vegetables and didn't get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been in there for a month. Hence the rhyme: " peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old."

Sometimes they could obtain pork and would feel really special when that happened. When company came over, they would bring out some bacon and hang it to show it off. It was a sign of wealth and that a man "could really bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat."

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with a high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food. This happened most often with tomatoes, so they stopped eating tomatoes . . . for 400 years.

Most people didn't have pewter plates, but had trenchers -- a piece of wood with the middle scooped out like a bowl. Trenchers were never washed and a lot of times worms got into the wood. After eating off wormy trenchers, they would get "trench mouth."

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the "upper crust."

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake."

England is old and small and they started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take their bones to a house and re-use the grave. In reopening these coffins, one out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a string on their wrist and lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night to listen for the bell. Hence on the "graveyard shift" they would know that someone was "saved by the bell" or he was a "dead ringer."

Received from Scott Neville.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Neat Quotes from TFTD

/* It looks like most of the colloquialisms from yesterday were not true according to Snopes and other sites. But you don't believe everything you read do you? :) */

These quotes were all received from Thought for the Day, a mailing list that sends an interesting thoughts every weekday. They are one of our recommended links. Visit our recommended links at http://www.gcfl.net/links.php for link and subscription information.

If you can't tie good knots, tie plenty of them. -Yachtsman's Credo

You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.

My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating. -Ashleigh Brilliant

I have CDO. It's like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, only in alphabetical order like it should be. - Spike Donner from Ruminations

The best defense against logic is ignorance.

Pay attention to your enemies, for they are the first to discover your mistakes. - Antisthenes

Pound for pound, the amoeba is the most vicious animal on earth.

When people tell you how young you look, they are also telling you how old you are. -Cary Grant

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first. -David H. Comins

I'm going to live forever, or die trying! -- Spider Robinson

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. -Abraham Lincoln

Received from TFTD.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Room Service

Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night.

"Certainly, madam," he replied courteously.

"Is the resturant open still?" inquired Mary.

"Sorry, no," came the reply, "but room service is available all night. Would you care to select something from this menu?"

Mary smiled and took the menu and perused it. "Hmm, I would like cauliflower cheese, please," said Mary.

"Certainly, madam," he replied.

"And may I have breakfast in bed?" asked Mary politely. The receptionist nodded and smiled. "In that case, I would love a couple of poached eggs, please," Mary mused.

After confirming the order, Mary signed in and went up to her room. The night passed uneventfully. The next morning, Mary came down early to check out. The same guy was still at the desk.

"Morning, madam. Sleep well?"

"Yes, thank you," Mary replied.

"Food to your liking?"

"Well, I have to say the cauliflower cheese was exceptional -- I don't think I have had better. Shame about the eggs, though; they really weren't that nice at all," replied Mary truthfully.

"Oh. Well, perhaps you could contribute these thoughts to our guest comments book. We are always looking to improve our service and would value your opinion," said the receptionist.

"Ok, I will. Thanks!" replied Mary. She then checked out, paused awhile, and scribbled a comment into the book. Waving, she left to continue her journey.

Curious, the receptionist picked up the book to see the comment Mary had written. Here it is:

"Supercauliflowercheesebuteggswerequiteatrocious!''

Received from Joke of the Week.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Sports Fanatic

My son is a sports fanatic and he has well-worn T-shirts, caps, and sweatshirts from every local team. One night, we were getting ready for an annual fund-raiser for our local theater organization.

My wife called out to my son, "This is a pretty fancy dinner. You'll have to wear a sports jacket."

My son answered, "Which team?"

Received from Thomas S. Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Bathroom Conversation

I was just sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying, "Hi, how are you?"

I don't know what got into me, as I'm not the type to start a conversation in a men's restroom at a rest stop, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed: "Doin' just fine!"

And the other guy says, "So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre, so I say, "Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling east!"

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question: "Can I come over to your place after a while?"

Ok, this question is just wacky, but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell him, "Well, I have company over, so today is a bad day for me!"

Then I hear the guy say nervously...

"LISTEN, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!"

Received from BDunamais.

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
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Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.

*Blood Flow*

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

(-:][:-)

*Parrot Skills*

A man entered a pet shop, wanting to buy a parrot. The shop owner pointed out three identical parrots on a perch and said, "The parrot to the left costs 500 dollars."

"Why does that parrot cost so much?" the man wondered.

The owner replied, "Well, it knows how to use a computer."

The man asked about the next parrot on the perch.

"That one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do, plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system."

Naturally, the startled customer asked about the third parrot.

"That one costs 2,000 dollars."

"And what does that one do?" the man asked.

The owner replied, "To be honest, I've never seen him do a thing, but the other two call him boss!"

(-:][:-)

*The Place for Grace*

When little Johnny received his plate he started eating right away.

"Johnny wait until we say our prayer."

"I don't have to."

The boy replied. "Of course, you do," his mother insisted. "We say a prayer before eating at our house."

"That's our house," Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house, and she knows how to cook!"

(-:][:-)

*Find and Replace*

The age of the computer brings much ease and expertise to the preparation of the worship folders. Some churches which use the same basic format each week can simply call up the form on the computer screen, make a few necessary changes, and presto, it's done.

But it can be tricky.

In one church I know, they use the same format for funeral services. And when a person dies and a funeral service is prepared, the secretary simply uses the word-search-and-replace process and changes the name of the deceased from the previous service to the name of the deceased who has just passed away.

Very simple.

So when Edna died, the pastor instructed the secretary to prepare the service for her by following the above mentioned process. The last person who died was Mary. So the secretary instructed the computer to change all "Marys" to Ednas." And so it was.

Imagine the surprise of the attendees when they recited the Apostles Creed and read:

"He was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Edna..."

(-:][:-)

*Family Records*

The following was overheard at a recent high society party...

"My ancestry goes all the way back to Alexander the Great," said one lady. She then turned to a second woman and asked, "How far does your family go back?"

"I don't know," was the reply. "All of our records were lost in the flood."

Eye Laugh

"Super Kitty"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw251

"Noah's Marina"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw233

"Boxing Comeback"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw250

"Monkey Cutbacks"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw249

"Openers Banned"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw248

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/giftcontract.html - - Mad Gift Giving Guide "Exchanging gifts, while fun in theory, offers endless potential for aggravation: Thronging crowds, ransacked stores, confusion, indecision, cash depletion and, finally, the belated knowledge that you bought the wrong thing. And even worse, perhaps, is receiving a spousal gift that you wouldn't buy for your worst enemy. Well, maybe for your worst enemy, but only if it's on sale..."
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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How Stuff Works - - http://www.howstuffworks.com/ - - This site presents a series of articles that explore the workings of electronics, computers, autos, finances, health, and scientific and social phenomena.
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FIndLaw Family Law Center - - http://family.findlaw.com/ - - This site by FindLaw presents legal information on family law including helpful articles and resources in five main topics: Adoption, Child Custody, Child Support, Marriage, and Adoption.
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Identity Theft - - http://www.consumer.gov/idtheft/ - - This website is a one-stop national resource to learn about the crime of identity theft. It provides detailed information to help you protect yourself from identity theft, and the steps to take if it occurs. It is also a comprehensive reference center - for consumers, businesses, law enforcement, and the media - with access to specific laws, contact information, and resources from state and federal government agencies.
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Gray's Anatomy of the Human Body - - http://www.bartleby.com/107/ - - The Bartleby.com edition of Gray's Anatomy of the Human Body features 1,247 vibrant engravings - many in color - from the classic 1918 publication, as well as a subject index with 13,000 entries ranging from the Antrum of Highmore to the Zonule of Zinn.
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NASA: Destination Earth - - http://www.earth.nasa.gov/flash_top.html - - This NASA web site indexes their various earth-based projects and outer space expeditions. In addition to information aimed at adults, there is also a special section devoted to kids so that they can learn and explore the world around them.
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Thomas - - http://thomas.loc.gov/ - - THOMAS was launched in January of 1995, at the inception of the 104th Congress. The leadership of the 104th Congress directed the Library of Congress to make federal legislative information freely available to the public. Since that time THOMAS has expanded the scope of its offerings to include features such as: Bills, Resolutions; Activity in Congress; Congressional Record; Schedules, Calendars; Committee Information; Presidential Nominations; Treaties; Government Resources.
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Today in History - - http://lcweb2.loc.gov/ammem/today/today.html - - This Library of Congress site offers a day-by-day listing of historical events. Search the archive for the day of your choice. Related sites: AP / BBC / Encarta / History Channel / InfoPlease / NYT.
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------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
Spider Bites
The following information was developed by the Texas Brine Company, and forwarded by Dick Waller at Pasadena.

SPIDER BITES

Although we may view spider bites lightly, they can result in scarring and lengthy medical treatments. Spiders are everywhere in our work environment. Everyone needs to become more aware of this natural hazard and be better prepared to act in the event of an emergency.

OUR NATURAL TERRORISTS

All spiders are venomous. Fortunately, the most venomous, Black Widows and Brown Recluses, are very shy. Black Widows have a wide distribution in the United States and tend to build their webs in locations where they will not be disturbed. Both will try to avoid human contact. Despite their reclusive habits, they do occasionally bite humans. Recluses, found mainly in the South, will typically bite when they are trapped between flesh and another surface, as when a sleeping human rolls over on a prowling spider, or when putting on clothing or shoes containing spiders.

RARE
BROWN RECLUSE

COMMON
BLACK WIDOW
WOLF SPIDER

After analyses of data gathered from our Pierce Junction location, we identified the Wolf spider as the most common. It has a very characteristic striped fuzzy body with fuzzy legs. Although they appear menacing because of the length of their body (approx. an inch), they are quite harmless and only venture into homes and offices running after insect prey.

THE BITE

Many spiders are capable of producing mild skin lesions when they bite. If these do not become infected, they usually heal in a short period of time. Many other biting insects, such as fleas, ticks, bedbugs, assassin beetles and others can cause wounds that initially resemble brown recluse spider bites. Please be advised that how or where you store you clothes could create a potential pathway.

When bitten by a Black Widow, a neurotoxin is released that can cause dull pain and cramping in muscles, that can be accompanied by sweating and vomiting. Less than 1% of black widow bites result in death.

Brown recluse bites are different than black widow bites. Brown recluse bites are cytotoxins that cause tissue death or necrosis of the bite area. Often the bite itself is unnoticed. Thirty minutes or an hour after the bite, the person will feel a burning sensation. Within eight hours, a pustule will develop. This infected area can enlarge to the size of a silver dollar. It will become ulcerated and sunken.

FIRST AID

Do’s for spider bites:

DO contact your supervisor or report to the clinic.

DO call the Poison Control Center for advice. (Not all patients need emergency room treatment, since in some cases the spider does not inject venom)

DO wash the area with soap and water.

DO sanitize the area with hydrogen peroxide or alcohol to prevent infection.

DO apply an ice pack for five to fifteen minutes. Be careful not to freeze the skin.

DO telephone 911 to summon paramedics if the victim is having an allergic reaction.

PREVENTION
Be aware that spiders are not our only predators (e.g. snakes, wasps, bees, etc.). If you are aware that you may be susceptible to any allergic reactions, please inform your supervisor. If necessary, your supervisor can contact me for the purchase of any special first aid equipment.

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
Summertime….
Thanks to Matt Lynch

…and the livin’ is easy
AND HOT!!
Avoid Heat Related Illness

While the catfish are jumpin’ and the cotton is high,
Do you worry about safety from the summertime heat?
YOU SHOULD!!

Avoid Heat Related Illness
From 1979 to 2001, more people died from extreme heat than from:
Hurricanes
Tornadoes
Floods
Lightening
COMBINED!!

Avoid Heat Related Illness

How does your body keep its cool?

It must sweat, and
The sweat must evaporate!

Avoid Heat Related Illness
How does your body lose its cool?
It can’t sweat, or
The sweat doesn’t evaporate, or
Evaporation isn’t fast enough
Avoid Heat Related Illness

How does your body lose its cool?
Dehydration, or
Hot, humid surroundings, or
High level of activity or other medical issues

Avoid Heat Related Illness
Once your body loses its cool
Temperature can rise very rapidly
Causes severe damage to brain and organs

Avoid Heat Related Illness
PREVENTION

We’ll talk about how to prevent heat related illnesses
Then we’ll talk about what to do if you don’t!
Avoid Heat Related Illness

The Little Laundry List of Prevention
Manage Your Activities
Dress the Part!
Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate!
All “Drinks” are not “Fluids!”
Monitor Yourself and Others
Avoid Heat Related Illness
Manage Your Activities
Do in early morning or late afternoon
Avoid midday activities
Avoid several days in a row in the heat
Take frequent breaks
Find the shade as often as possible
Build up your endurance to hot weather over several days
Avoid Heat Related Illness

Dress the Part!
Lightweight, light-colored, loose-fitting clothes
Wide-brimmed hat
Sunscreen

Avoid Heat Related Illness
Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate!!
Drink plenty of fluids beforehand
Don’t wait until you’re thirsty to drink during the activity
Don’t stop drinking when you’re not thirsty anymore
Drink 16-32 oz. fluids per hour!

Avoid Heat Related Illness
All “Drinks” are not “Fluids!”
Alcohol, caffeine or sugar actually dehydrate you worse
Your body expels fluids to flush them out of your body
So, no soft drinks, alcohol, coffee, tea
Water and sports drinks only!

Avoid Heat Related Illness
Monitor Yourself and Others
If you start to gasp for breath or your heart starts to pound, STOP!! Cool off!!
Be observant of others – heat illnesses can make people confused and unaware of their real condition
Notify people you observe overheating!
Act to move them to safety!

Avoid Heat Related Illness
The Stairway to a Heat-Related Death
Heat Cramps
Heat Exhaustion
Heat Stroke

Avoid Heat Related Illness
Heat Cramps
Usually affects “sweat hogs” (you know who you are*!)
Muscle pains or spasms in abdomen, arms or legs
* - Full disclosure – I am a sweat hog!

Avoid Heat Related Illness
Heat Cramps – What to Do
Stop all activity
Get to shade or air conditioning
Drink fluids (not “drinks!”)
Do not resume activities for several hours or you may progress to exhaustion and stroke
If not better in 1 hour, get medical help

Avoid Heat Related Illness
Heat Exhaustion – can develop after:
Exposure to high temperatures over one or several days or,
Inadequate/unbalanced replacement of fluids (“drinks” instead of “fluids”)
Symptoms
Tired, weak or dizzy
Heavy sweating
Headache, nausea or vomiting
Pulse – fast and weak
Breathing – fast and shallow

Avoid Heat Related Illness
Heat Exhaustion – What to Do
Stop activity (or risk heat stroke!)
Drink cool fluids
Rest
Cool off by any means possible (shade, cool water spray or shower, air conditioning)
If not better in 1 hour, get medical help

Avoid Heat Related Illness
Heat Stroke
Medical emergency – you are dying!!
Body’s cooling mechanism breaks down
Body temperature may rise to 106 (F) or higher in just 10-15 minutes!!

Avoid Heat Related Illness
Heat Stroke Symptoms
Red, hot, dry skin (no sweat on a hot day is a BAD sign!)
Strong, rapid pulse
Throbbing headache
Dizziness or nausea or confusion
Unconsciousness

Avoid Heat Related Illness
Heat Stroke – What to Do
Call 911 immediately!!
Get to a shady area
Cool down as quickly as possible
Immerse in cool water
Spray with cool water from a garden hose
Wrap ice packs in cloth and place
Behind knees
Front of wrists
Neck
Areas of high blood flow near skin surface
Do NOT use rubbing alcohol – closes sweat glands!!

Avoid Heat Related Illness
Heat Stroke – What to Do, continued:
Move to air conditioned area ASAP!
If medical help has not arrived by the time you have taken these steps, call hospital emergency room for further instructions

Avoid Heat Related Illness
Conclusion:
Don’t throw cold water on your summer fun, but
SCAN heat related illnesses to throw cold water on summer heat hazards!

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
Fire Alarm Safety
Thanks to Michael LaFauci

It is important to make sure that you and your families remain safe and having fire alarms in your home will double your chances of survival. Few people realize how much destruction can result from a fire. Fire alarms should be installed outside every bedroom for early detection. An emergency fire action plan should be discussed to each member of the family so that they understand what to do in case of emergency. Choose a place outside the home where family members can meet to be sure everyone is safely out of the building.

Types of Fire Alarms
There are two types of fire alarms you should have an ionized and photoelectric. When smoke enters a photoelectric alarm, light from a pulsating light source in reflected off the smoke particles onto a light sensor, triggering the alarm. When smoke enters an ionization alarm, ionized air molecules attach to the smoke particles and reduce the ionizing current, triggering the alarm. While photoelectric smoke alarms generally respond faster to smoldering smoke conditions and ionization smoke alarms generally respond faster to flaming fire conditions.
Below is a diagram on the fire triangle to help you understand on how a fire starts.
Four things must be present at the same time in order to produce fire:
1. Enough oxygen to sustain combustion,
2. Enough heat to raise the material to its ignition temperature,
3. Some sort of fuel or combustible material, and
4. The chemical, exothermic reaction that is fire.

Oxygen, heat, and fuel are frequently referred to as the "fire triangle." Add in the fourth element, the chemical reaction, and you actually have a fire "tetrahedron." The important thing to remember is: take any of these four things away, and you will not have a fire or the fire will be extinguished. Essentially, fire extinguishers put out fire by taking away one or more elements of the fire triangle/tetrahedron. Fire safety, at its most basic, is based upon the principle of keeping fuel sources and ignition sources separate.

Fire Extinguisher Safety

When operating a fire extinguisher make sure that you are using the right type. Below is a list of the four different types of fires and the correct way to use a fire extinguisher.
Not all fires are the same, and they are classified according to the type of fuel that is burning. If you use the wrong type of fire extinguisher on the wrong class of fire, you can, in fact, make matters worse. It is therefore very important to understand the four different fire classifications.
Class A - Wood, paper, cloth, trash, plasticsSolid combustible materials that are not metals. (Class A fires generally leave an Ash.)
Class B - Flammable liquids: gasoline, oil, grease, acetone Any non-metal in a liquid state, on fire. This classification also includes flammable gases. (Class B fires generally involve materials that Boil or Bubble.)
Class C - Electrical: energized electrical equipmentAs long as it's "plugged in," it would be considered a class C fire. (Class C fires generally deal with electrical Current.)
Class D - Metals: potassium, sodium, aluminum, magnesium Unless you work in a laboratory or in an industry that uses these materials, it is unlikely you'll have to deal with a Class D fire. It takes special extinguishing agents (Metal-X, foam) to fight such a fire.

Most fire extinguishers will have a pictograph label telling you which classifications of fire the extinguisher is designed to fight. For example, a simple water extinguisher might have a label like the one below, indicating that it should only be used on Class A fires.

PASS
It's easy to remember how to use a fire extinguisher if you can remember the acronym PASS, which stands for Pull, Aim, Squeeze, and Sweep.

Pull the pin. This will allow you to discharge the extinguisher.
Aim at the base of the fire. If you aim at the flames (which is frequently the temptation), the extinguishing agent will fly right through and do no good. You want to hit the fuel.
Squeeze the top handle or lever. This depresses a button that releases the pressurized extinguishing agent in the extinguisher.

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
June 9, 2006
Be Aware of the Weather Conditions
Today's Message is from Becky Wofford (a Houston Albemarle employee).

Once again, I am amazed by the fact that an experience you can use for these messages "just happens to occur" when it is your turn!

We spent the Memorial Day Weekend camping at Goose Island State Park near Rockport along the Texas coast. It was extremely windy all weekend, but nothing like the storm that blew in on Monday night. Seems to have been our payment for extending our annual trip an extra day.

We did note the dark clouds gathering on the horizon to the north on our way back to camp after enjoying seafood at a local restaurant, but figured it would be a thunderstorm that would move through quickly. How wrong we were!

What began with very strong winds and heavy rain at 8:30 pm, continued with the same vigorous force until 4:00 am Tuesday morning. We can take comfort in the fact that our new 5th wheel camper can withstand tropical storm force winds and heavy rain, but that did little to comfort us during the night. We were situated perpendicular to the force of the wind so the upper sleeping quarters were really swaying, as was the slide-out on the side facing into the wind, where the couple that goes camping with us sleeps.

Our other friends have an older model canvas pop-up tent trailer which really got soaked through and began to leak. They moved to their truck before midnight. One of their bed supports was blown off and a jack stand worked loose.

The park ranger told us the next morning that winds at the Rockport airport were clocked in excess of 60 mph, and that is in a much more protected area than the spit of sand we were on! We only had about 3-4 inches of rain; it was just the wind that would not stop! Luckily, most of the people staying at the campground for the weekend had already left. A couple camped near us packed their stuff and hooked up to leave during the height of the storm. They had a young child camping with them.

The scariest part was not knowing what to expect or how long it would last. We turned on our TV and listened to the news on a Corpus Christi station at 10 pm, but nothing about severe weather in the area was mentioned. Gary ventured out to drive to the restroom (be wary of racoons that try to seek shelter in the restrooms too!) and tried to find a radio station with some news, but was not successful. We also discovered that we did not have the emergency number for the park rangers anywhere handy.

From now on, included in our camping gear will be -

1. A portable radio with a weather band - no matter what the forecast.
2. The emergency number for the park or campground where we are staying.

Remember - always be aware of your surroundings and the weather conditions - in this area they can change in an instant or last forever.
------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
June 6, 2006
Some Folks Don't Care for Snakes
Today's Safety From the Heart message was submitted by Dale Mann.

Some folks don't care for snakes. In fact, some people are downright terrified of them. I want to relay a story that happened at work which may help keep someone else from making the same mistakes.

Some years ago I killed a snake at the cleaning pad. He was a nice one - I'm 6' and could hold it about level with my head. His head and some of his body would still roll on the ground. I showed it to a few other fellows in the area so they could admire it. As we were admiring the snake, the thought occurred to us that other people may want to admire him also; we shouldn't keep this one to ourselves. So we threw him on the floorboard of the scooter and I headed up to the office.

I took the snake off the floorboard when I reached the office and walked in with it, surely thought everyone would be admiring the snake. Lo and behold, people took off while shouting profane language. The Shipping Foreman's desk was situated with the chair almost against the wall; he turned and tried to make a door through the wall. Surely was a lot of commotion for an admirable snake.

All this racket was giving me the heebie jeebies so I threw him back on the floorboard and headed off down to the woods to chunk him out. Then a fellow who worked in Maintenance shouted to stop. I was on 3rd Street and not wanting to appear rude, I stopped and waited on him. Well, he didn't give me a chance to tell him there was a snake on the floorboard of the scooter; he said, "give me a ride" and ran around to the passenger side. I was looking and couldn't say anything. He jumped in, did some gyrations when he stepped on the snake, tried to do a back flip off the scooter. He was lucky I was holding on to him, don't think he would have scored a 10 for execution, he may have been close to 10 on effort. I was laughing so hard I couldn't hardly breathe, but I couldn't get rid of that snake fast enough after that.

The point to all this is when you catch snakes, etc, most people really don't want to see critters and may even hurt themselves to avoid them. Do yourself and your co-workers a favor - when you kill them, chunk the kill in the woods.
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ. www.mcc2000.net
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To all my Crack pot friends!

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends Of a pole which she carried across her neck.

One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do. After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house."

The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?" "That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them." "For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

So, to all of my "crackpot" friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!

Thanks to Ricky Shepherd
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A close friend of mine needs some prayer. He cannot hear out of his right ear at all and this is also causing equilibrium problems for him. He is scared about the situation.

Also pray for the father of one of my close friends; my friend believes his dad does not know Christ. Pray that God will deliver this man to the Crusade and hear the Word of God.

Everyone, all churches, and all denominations are invited to attend a prayer meeting next Monday night, 6PM, at KZHE. Currently, Bro. Bobby Harris will lead the group in prayer. If you want to see souls saved during the Crusade, then come to this meeting and help us pray.

Monday, June 12, 2006
7:00 P.M.
Union StreetStation (KZHE) Magnolia

Jason Sands
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[NOTE: I don’t agree with Rick Warren on the “source” of pain but I do agree with much of his writing on how to deal with pain. (He says “...one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.”) So, like many other bible teachers, I try to “get the goodie” out of his writings and I don’t expect him to agree with me 100%. Bug]

"Purpose Driven Life "

About Rick Warren

You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having "wealth" from the book sales.

This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren , "Purpose Driven Life " author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California .

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:

People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me.

I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal.

God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.

God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.

We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.

I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.

Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a ra ilroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.

And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.

If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, "which is my problem, my issues, my pain."

But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.

It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.
Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.

It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.

So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.
Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.
Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.
Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?

Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD. Difficult moments, SEEK GOD. Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD. Painful moments, TRUST GOD. Every moment, THANK GOD.

Thanks to David Lamb
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Activities and Events of Interest
~~~
The Purple Hull Pea Festival is scheduled for June 23 and 24
~~~
The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/

01. Spc. Brett L. Tribble, 20, of Lake Jackson, Texas, died in Ar Ramadi on June 3 of injuries sustained in Ar Ramadi, Iraq on June 2, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV during combat operations. Tribble was assigned to the Army's 2nd Battalion, 6th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Armored Division, Baumholder, Germany.

02. Cpl. Ryan J. Cummings, 22, of Streamwood, Ill., died June 3, from wounds received while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to 1st Battalion, 1st Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

03. Staff Sgt. Darren Harmon, 44, of Newark Del., died in Haditha, Iraq, on June 3, from a non-combat related cause. Harmon was assigned to the Army Reserves 203rd Military Intelligence Battalion, 205th Military Intelligence Brigade, Aberdeen Proving Ground, Md.

04. Cpl. Derek A. Stanley, 20, of Tulsa, Okla., died in Salerno, Afghanistan, on June 5, from a non-combat related cause. Stanley was assigned to the 710th Brigade Support Battalion, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry), Fort Drum, N.Y.

05. Petty Officer 1st Class Gary T. Rovinski, 44, of Roseville, Ill., died June 5, in Al Anbar Province, Iraq, as a result of enemy action when his HMMWV was struck by an improvised explosive device. Rovinski was assigned to Naval Mobile Construction Battalion 25, Fort McCoy, Wis.


06. Maj. Michael D. Stover, 43, of Mansfield, Ohio, died June 3 from a non-hostile incident in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to Marine Wing Support Squadron-371, Marine Wing Support Group-37, 3rd Marine Aircraft Wing, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Air Station Yuma, Ariz.

07. Sgt. 1st Class. Issac S. Lawson, 35, of Sacramento, Calif., died in Baghdad, Iraq, on June 5, of injuries sustained when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV during combat operations. Lawson was assigned to the National Guard's 49th Military Police Brigade, Fairfield, Calif.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died in Khogyani, Afghanistan, on June 6, when their HMWWV struck two anti-tank mines during combat operations. Both soldiers were assigned to the National Guard's, 1st Battalion, 188th Air Defense Artillery, Grand Forks, N.D. Killed were:
08. Sgt. Travis A. Vanzoest, 21, of Larimore, N.D.
09. Spc. Curtis R. Mehrer, 21, of Bismarck, N.D.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Baghdad, Iraq, on June 4, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their M1A2 tank during combat operations. Both soldiers were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 66th Armor Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas. Killed were:
10. 1st Lt. Ryan T. Sanders, 27, of College Station, Texas.
11. Sgt. Daniel R. Gionet, 23, of Pelham, N.H.

12. Sgt. Mark T. Smykowski, 23, of Mentor, Ohio, died June 6 while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to 2nd Reconnaissance Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

13. Sgt. Mark T. Smykowski, 23, of Mentor, Ohio, died June 6 while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to 2nd Reconnaissance Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

14. Petty Officer 2nd Class Jaime S. Jaenke, 29, of Bay City, Wis., died June 5 as a result of enemy action when her HMMWV was struck by an improvised explosive device in Al Anbar province, Iraq. She was assigned to Naval Mobile Construction Battalion 25, Fort McCoy, Wis.
The incident also resulted in the death of Petty Officer 1st Class Gary Rovinski.

15. Staff Sgt. Richard A. Blakley, 34, of Plainfield, Ind., died in Al Khalidiyah, Iraq, on June 6, when he was shot by enemy small arms fire during dismounted combat patrol operations. Blakley was assigned to the National Guard's 38th Main Support Battalion, Indianapolis, Ind.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Ar Ramadi, Iraq, on June 7, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their HMMWV during combat operations. Both soldiers were assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 6th Infantry Regiment, Baumholder, Germany. Killed were:
16. 1st Lt. Scott M. Love, 32, of Knoxville, Tenn.
17. Pfc. David N. Crombie, 19, of Winnemucca, Nev.

18. Cpl. Luis D. Santos, 20, of Rialto, Calif., died in Buritz, Iraq, on June 8, of injuries sustained when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV during combat operations. Santos was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 68th Armor Regiment, 3rd Heavy Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Carson, Colo.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Ar Ramadi, Iraq, on June 6, when their camp received indirect enemy fire during combat operations. Both soldiers were assigned to the 46th Engineer Battalion, Fort Rucker, Ala. Killed were:
19. Sgt. Carlos E. Pernell, 25, of Munford, Ala.
20. Cpl. Andy D. Anderson, 24, of Falls Church, Va.

~~~

Missing WWII Servicemen are Identified

The Defense POW/Missing Personnel (DPMO) announced today that three servicemen missing in action from World War II have been identified and are being returned to their families for burial with full military honors.

The three are 2nd Lt. Robert H. Cameron of Elkhart, Ind.; Cpl. George E. Cunningham of Rich Hill, N.Y., all U.S. Army Air Forces; and Capt. Vladimir M. Sasko, Chicago, U.S. Army Medical Corps. Cameron will be buried at Arlington National Cemetery near Washington, D.C., on Friday. Sasko was buried in December in Chicago, and final arrangements for Cunningham have yet to be confirmed.

On Dec. 10, 1944, a C-47 crewed by Cameron and Cunningham took off from Dobudura, New Guinea, on a cargo flight to Hollandia with three passengers aboard, including Sasko. Forty minutes into the flight the crew radioed a request for weather information. Another pilot in the area replied that the weather was bad, saying he was headed out to sea to avoid it. After that, there was no further contact with the Cameron crew. Search teams in the area from the Royal Australian Air Force were unsuccessful in finding the crash site.

In 1979 and 1980, search and recovery teams from the U.S. Army’s Central Identification Laboratory, Hawaii (CILHI) found the site and recovered remains subsequently identified by CILHI scientists as those of 2nd Lt. Stanley D. Campbell of Pioche, Nev., and Cpl. Carl A. Drain, hometown unknown.

In October and November 2004 a team from the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC) – CILHI’s successor organization – excavated the site in Morobe Province, Papua New Guinea, where they recovered human remains and personal effects of the remaining airmen.

JPAC scientists and Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory specialists used mitochondrial DNA as one of the forensic tools to help identify the remains. Laboratory analysis of dental remains also confirmed their identification.

For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO website and http://www.dtic.mil/dpmo or call (703) 699-1169.

http://icasualties.org/oif/default.aspx
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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Scheduled Activities
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Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 8 p.m. Monday - Friday. At noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and at 7 p.m. Sunday at 914 N. Vine
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Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
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Columbia County Diabetes Support Group - Every third Monday, 7:00 p.m. room 222, Magnolia Hospital
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"Focus on the Family" with Dr. James Dobson weekday afternoons at 1 PM on KVMA am 630 it's a great show!
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MCC - Abraham Prayer - Sunday at 5:00 p.m and Wednesday from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm
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MCC - "Beth Moore" Video Class - Thursday nights at 5:45 pm
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MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
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MCC - Firm Foundations Class, Sunday 9:30 to 10:15 a.m
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MCC - Meadow Brook Nursing Home Ministry Tuesday from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m
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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
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MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
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Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Narcotics Anonymous 5-6 pm every Monday at 220 Pine street.
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TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) 5 pm every Tuesday in the Magnolia Hospital break room.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
John 12:47-50 Mat 9:36-38 Luke 18:35-43 Job 7:2-4 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

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