Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Second Try - - Photos

"Greens" ready for the pot. 

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Second Try - - Photos

Ethan
John and Annette tear up the kitchen floor.
Gizmo oversees tile installation 

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Second Try

Volume 8, Issue 23 Friday, June 09, 2006

Hello ALL,

We’re continuing to attempt to catch up with our publication schedule.
~~~~~
Over the last week we’ve read; “Bitter ocean: the Battle of the Atlantic, 1939-1945" by David Fairbank White. “Death match” by Lincoln Child. And “The planet pirates” by Anne McCaffrey, Elizabeth Moon, Jody Lynn Nye.
“Bitter Ocean..” was a great book of the struggle for the North Atlantic during WWII. And, I’ve discovered that I like almost anything written by Elizabeth Moon.
~~~~~
The photos on the front of this weeks “Bleat” include Ethan, Gizmo and our new tile, John and Annette tear up the old flooring in the kitchen, and ... a mess of greens ready for the pot.
~~~~~
This week’s Taylor kid story "The Cussing Contest.”

Iris and Fort were playing outside one day when Fort challenged her to a “Cussing Contest.” Mom agreed and Fort said “You go first.” So she thought a minute, wanting to be sure to use her word wisely and then saw a fly buzzing around Fort’s head. She shouted “D__n Fly!”
Whereupon Fort turned and ran to the house shouting “Mama! Mama! Iris said D__n!”

Miss Mary came out the back door just as my mother caught Fort and was starting to whollop him. Miss Mary said “Iris did you use that word?” My mother tried to explain but Miss Mary would have none of it. She kept repeating “Iris, did you use that word?”
Finally, my mother realized that she had lost the battle (but not the war) and confessed that yes, she had said D__n.

Miss Mary whipped her, of course.

But Fort spent the rest of the day wondering what Iris would do to get even. He found out when he went to get his baseball that afternoon. It was missing.
Iris denied all allegations that she’d taken it or done anything with it.
Strangely, the Newton family was playing ball the next day. That was strange because they were the poorest family in Taylor and no one could figure out how they could have afforded a ball.
~~~
This weeks Charlie, Dinah Sue, and James Fort story is, “The path to the pecan tree”

Every summer, we ran barefoot, only wearing shorts. This was no problem except on the north side of grandmother’s house where there was a fairly healthy yard of grass that also was full of “stickers.”

That side of the house was where the swing set was and the great pecan tree. So we couldn’t avoid it.

Charlie came up with the idea of building a road from the front porch to the swing set to the pecan tree. So for several days we dug under the edge of the house (where the dirt was soft) and hauled it in my red wagon to the north side where we constructed a dirt path around the house.

Upon completion we could run all the way around the house without getting one sticker. Or at least we could until the grass and stickers grew up out of our road.
~~~~~
Don’t forget to check out www.mcc2000.net
~~~~~
Magnolia Christian Center had a GREAT “Bar-B-Q Lunch Fundraiser” to support Children and Student's summer camps on Thursday. They sold a JUMBO BBQ Sandwich, Chips, a Homemade Brownie and a drink for $5.00
~~~~~
Attitude is Everything

ATTITUDE

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.

"Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today." So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.

"H-M-M, " she said, "I think I'll part my hair down the middle today." So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.

"Well," she said, "Today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail." So she did and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head.

"YEAH!" she exclaimed, "I don't have to fix my hair today!"

Attitude is everything.

"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."

Thanks to Norma Kay Rowe
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com. Or http://www.bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at http://www.bugsbleatfirst.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleat3q.blogspot.com, and http://www.bugsbleat4q.blogspot.com. Our photos are now posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
www.aaa.com Regular
Current Avg. $ 2.75
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - We’re sharing recipes from Shannon Voigt’s new Taylor Recipe Book
Cheese Straws - - Donna Gail Hanson

Ingredients:
2 cups (8 oz.) shredded, sharp cheddar cheese
½ cup butter or margarine, softened
½ all-purpose flour
1 tsp. Paprika
½ tsp. salt
¼ to ½ tsp. red pepper

Method:
Combine cheese and butter in a large mixing bowl; beat well at medium speed with an electric mixer. Combine remaining ingredients stirring well. Gradually add flour mixture to cheese mixture, mixing until dough is no longer crumbly. Shape mixture into a ball. Use a cookie gun to shape into straws on wax paper or roll out into a log and slice.
Place strips on un-greased baking sheets; bake at 375º for 10-12 minutes or until lightly brown. Store in an airtight container, placing wax paper between layers.
Notes: Yields 8 dozen
~~~~~
Judge: Web-Surfing Worker Can't Be Fired
Apr 24 - NEW YORK

Saying surfing the web is equivalent to reading a newspaper or talking on the phone, an administrative law judge has suggested that only a reprimand is appropriate as punishment for a city worker accused of failing to heed warnings to stay off the Internet.
Administrative Law Judge John Spooner reached his decision in the case of Toquir Choudhri, a 14-year veteran of the Department of Education who had been accused of ignoring supervisors who told him to stop browsing the Internet at work.

The ruling came after Mayor Michael Bloomberg fired a worker in the city's legislative office in Albany earlier this year after he saw the man playing a game of solitaire on his computer.

In his decision, Spooner wrote: "It should be observed that the Internet has become the modern equivalent of a telephone or a daily newspaper, providing a combination of communication and information that most employees use as frequently in their personal lives as for their work."

He added: "For this reason, city agencies permit workers to use a telephone for personal calls, so long as this does not interfere with their overall work performance. Many agencies apply the same standard to the use of the Internet for personal purposes."

Spooner dispensed the lightest possible punishment on Choudhri, a reprimand, after a search of Choudhri's computer files revealed he had visited several news and travel sites.

Martin Druyan, Choudhri's lawyer, called the ruling "very reasonable."

Copyright 2006 The Associated Press.

~

I guess my question is ... do you think it’s accepted practice for workers to make personal calls and/or read the newspaper at work?
~~~~~
BreakPoint
With Chuck Colson

Defending the Strangers in Our Midst
6/9/2006

The Demonizing of Immigrants

Did you know that “95 percent of warrants for murder in Los Angeles are for illegal aliens?” Or that “75 percent of people on the Most Wanted List in Los Angeles are illegal aliens”? What’s more, “Over [two-thirds] of all births in Los Angeles County are to illegal alien Mexicans on [Medicaid] whose births were paid for by taxpayers.”

This is outrageous. Especially since none of it is true! Instead, it’s just one example of how, in some ways, we have gone beyond worrying about illegal immigration to demonizing the immigrants themselves.

This example came from a widely circulated e-mail that was posted on at least 130 conservative websites. It listed ten “facts about immigration” and gave as its source the Los Angeles Times.

Not only was the Los Angeles Times not the source of these “facts,” when the paper examined the alleged “facts,” none of them withstood scrutiny. Some of them distorted the data: For instance, approximately 62 percent of all births in Los Angeles County are to Hispanic women. But this number includes American citizens, legal aliens, Hispanics from countries other than Mexico, and has nothing to do with Medicaid.

The so-called “facts” about illegal alien criminality are even worse: They are deliberate misrepresentations or complete fabrications.

Unfortunately, this is only the tip of an often very ugly iceberg. The illegal immigration problem is often called an “invasion” that threatens the existence of the United States. Illegal aliens are depicted as part of an effort to “reconquer” the American Southwest. And it’s not only illegal immigrants: American citizens of Mexican ancestry are also regarded as part of this plot.

Now, there are a few fringe Latino groups that talk about “reconquista”—that is all they are, however: fringe. To judge all Latinos, including illegal aliens, by the words of these groups is as fair as judging all Christians by the actions of clinic bombers or Fred Phelps.

A concern for fairness isn’t the most important reason that Christians ought to oppose this demonization of “the strangers in our midst.” As theologian T. M. Moore recently wrote on BreakPoint Online, “God defends strangers. He has compassion for those who have left all and risked all to find new lives in a strange country.”

Moore reminds us that God expects His people’s “attitude toward the strangers and sojourners in their midst” to reflect His own concern.

Now, this does not mean that Christians ought not to be concerned about the massive lawbreaking, by both illegal immigrants and those who employ them. We must! The rule of law is a Christian contribution, coming out of the Reformation, and it requires respect for law, just as the Bible does. Nor does it mean that there’s one particular immigration proposal that Christians ought to be supporting.

What it does mean is that Christians must work to see that the immigration debate generates light instead of heat. We must insist that the illegal-immigration issue be addressed without treating millions of Americans, many of whom have died protecting our country, as a kind of fifth column.

That is the very least we can do if we are obedient to God’s command to welcome strangers. And that’s a fact I got from the highest possible Source.

For Further Reading and Information

Today’s BreakPoint offer: Subscribe today to BreakPoint WorldView magazine! Call 1-877-322-5527.

T. M. Moore, “Strangers in Our Midst,” BreakPoint Online, 26 April 2006.

“Just the Facts—Updated,” Borderline blog, 4 May 2006.

David Neiwert, “Reconquista!” Orcinus blog, 17 April 2006.

David Neiwert, “Border Crossings,” Orcinus blog, 5 June 2006.

Tim Cavanaugh, “Borders without Visas,” Los Angeles Times, 23 May 2006.

Bill O. Hing, “Republican Immigration Reform Strategy Memo,” ImmigrationProf blog, 1 June 2006.

“Modes of Entry for the Unauthorized Migrant Population,” Pew Hispanic Center, 22 May 2006.

Professor Stephen Bainbridge, “The 1965 Immigration Act,” ProfessorBainbridge.com, 19 May 2006.

Richard Rodriguez, “America’s Impure Genius,” Los Angeles Times, 19 May 2006.

Mae M. Ngai, “How Grandma Got Legal,” Los Angeles Times, 16 May 2006.

BreakPoint Commentary No. 060411, “Illegal Immigration: The Real Root of the Problem.”

BreakPoint Commentary No. 060508, “Illegal Immigration: A Biblical Perspective.”

The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics.
© 2004-2006 Prison Fellowship
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
glabrous: without hairs or projections; smooth.
extricate: to free or release from a difficulty or entanglement.
contumely: rudeness compounded of haughtiness and contempt.
bravura: a showy display.
paucity: fewness; insufficiency.
arbiter: one having the power of judging and determining.
discrete: constituting a separate thing; also, consisting of distinct or unconnected parts.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"I think there is only one quality worse than hardness of heart and that is softness of head." - Theodore Roosevelt

"We shall tax and tax, and spend and spend, and elect and elect." - Harry Lloyd Hopkins

"Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote." - George Jean Nathan

"Publicity is justly commended as a remedy for social and industrial diseases. Sunlight is said to be the best of disinfectants; electric light the most efficient policeman." - Louis Dembitz Brandeis

"I have got you together to hear what I have written down. I do not wish your advice about the main matter - for that I have determined for myself." - Abraham Lincoln

"The thing that makes you exceptional, if you are at all, is inevitably that which must also make you lonely." - Lorraine Hansberry

"A government of laws and not of men." - John Adams
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

Cervical Cancer Vaccine Approved for Use in the US - Said to be "Nearly 100 Percent Effective"
BBC Staff / AH (Jun 9, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2614
"This vaccine is a significant advance in the protection of women's health."

A More Peaceful World for Our Children and Grandchildren: President Bush on the Death of Al-Zarqawi
Teresa Neumann Reporting (Jun 8, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2611
The following is the official statement by President Bush on the Death of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi:

Most Wanted Terrorist in Iraq "Meets His End" - Abu Musab al-Zarqawi is Killed in Airstrike
Liza Porteus / Aimee Herd reporting (Jun 8, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2610
"Zarqawi's death is a severe blow to Al Qaeda, it's a victory in the global War on Terror, and it's an opportunity for Iraq's new government to turn the tide of this struggle."

While Senate Vote on Marriage Protection Amendment Comes Up Short - States Continue to Stand by Traditional Marriage
News Staff / Aimee Herd reporting (Jun 7, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2606
"This is an issue that is of significant importance to many Americans."

June 6th - Remembering a Day Called: "The beginning of the end."
News Staff / Aimee Herd reporting (Jun 6, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2602
EDITOR'S NOTE: Much hype has been given to today's date, since it is the 6th month, 6th day and the year 06. This day IS profound, but for another reason. It is the 62nd anniversary of D-Day, when allied forces landed on the beaches of Normandy, France. There, brave men fought, some paying with their lives, for the freedom we hold dear. That is certainly something to remember on this day. - Aimee Herd, BCN.

Millions of Believers from Almost 200 Nations Pray during the Global Day of Prayer
News Staff / Aimee Herd reporting (Jun 5, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2598
"There are more than 4,000 venues across Africa, where an estimated 40 million Africans are joining the river of prayer that's sweeping the continent, and the world."

The Azusa Street Project - Brand New Documentary of the 1906 Azusa Street Revival to Air on TBN - Sunday, June 4th
Erica Sims (Jun 4, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2595
Our mission is to tell the story of an obscure American superhero involved in the most powerful and underrated move of God in the last 2000 years.

Bishop Harry Jackson Urges Senate to Approve Marriage Protection Amendment
Allie Martin, Jody Brown / Aimee Herd reporting (Jun 3, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2592
"Gay rights is not an extension of the civil rights movement, simply because there's no choice involved in our blackness."
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GCF: Second Try

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom
Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website:
Subscribe

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@egroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/ UNSUBSCRIBE INFO for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2006 before it was sent.
-----------------------------------------

Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m., I discovered that it had not been one of my wife's better days. Nothing I said or did seemed to be right.

By 7 p.m. things had not changed, so I suggested I go outside, pretend I had just got home, and start all over again. My wife agreed.

I went outside, came back in and, with a big smile, announced, "Honey, I'm home!"

"And just where have you been?" she replied sharply. "It's after seven o'clock!"

_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Award Shows

Emailed to me from another humor list (You Make Me Laugh) -Tom To subscribe to You Make Me Laugh, send a blank email to: SUBSCRIBE-laugh@lists.crosswalk.com
-----------------------------------------

Can you believe how many award shows they have now? It seems like that have an award show for everything.

They even have awards for commercials! The CLIO Awards, a whole show full of commercials.

I taped it and then I fast-forwarded through the whole thing.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Customer Service

-----------------------------------------

I had just pulled into a parking spot at the home improvement store when smoke and flames began pouring from under my hood.

Frantic, I bolted into the store and ran up to the first clerk I saw. As luck would have it, he was standing behind the Customer Service counter.

"Please help," I gasped. "My car's on fire! I need a fire extinguisher!"

Without even looking up, he replied, "Aisle 12."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Postponed Test

Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day) -Tom To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to: martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-----------------------------------------

One of my students could not take my college seminar final exam because of a funeral.

"No problem," I told him. "Make it up the following week." That week came, and again he couldn't take the test due to another funeral.

"You'll have to take the test early next week," I insisted. "I can't keep postponing it."

"I'll take the test next week if no one dies," he told me.

By now I was suspicious. "How can you have so many people you know pass away in three weeks?" I asked.

"I don't know any of these people," he said. "But I'm the only gravedigger in town."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Collect Call

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom
Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website:
Subscribe
-----------------------------------------

My wife was away all weekend at a business conference.

During a break, she decided to call home collect. Our six-year-old son picked up the phone and heard a stranger's voice say, "We have a Betty on the line. Will you accept the charges?"

Frantic, he dropped the receiver and came charging outside screaming, "Dad! They've got Mom! And they want money!"
_ ____________________________ _

Every once in awhile I send something for "reader participation." This is one of those emails. Below you will find the start of two lists:
(1) Shortest Lists
(2) Longest Lists

The idea, if you wish to participate, is to reply to this email and provide your own "shortest" and "longest" lists. I will collect the responses and publish them in the future. Of course, the lists will be edited so that they conform to the rules of Good Clean Fun.

Again, only reply if you wish to participate. And please let me know if you wish your response to remain anonymous or if I can use your first name. I will never use last names. This might be fun. We'll see what happens.

Here are the "starter" lists (and no offense is intended!)

SHORTEST LISTS
Complete list of native German Humorists
Complete list of honest politicians
Complete list of book reviews by Paris Hilton

LONGEST LISTS
Complete list of egocentric professional athletes
Complete list of TV viewers tired of reality shows

Tom

PS: Thank you for the idea, Jack.

This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2006 before it was sent.
_ ____________________________ _
____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / Education is what remains \ \_/ ////
\ / after one has forgotten \ /
\ _/ everything one learned in school. \_ /
/ / --Albert Einstein \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Mechanic: "I couldn't \ /
\ _/ repair your brakes, \_ /
/ / so I made the horn louder." \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Most people work just hard \ /
\ _/ enough not to get fired and \_ /
/ / get paid just enough not to quit. \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / How did I get so round \ /
\ _/ from eating square meals? \_ /
/ / \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / If you think advertising doesn't\ /
\ _/ work, consider the millions of \_ /
/ / people who now think that \ yogurt tastes good.
_ ____________________________ _
Thomas S. Ellsworth
tellswor@slonet.org
http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor
____________________________
Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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[GCFL.net] Sixteenth Century Colloquialisms

Some of these have been around a long time, but we thought they were interesting. Enjoy!

Colloquialisms from the 16th Century

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase "goodnight, sleep tight."

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month or what we know today as the honeymoon.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them mind their own pints and quarts and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's."

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden.... and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and were still smelling pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the b.o. Baths equaled a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."

Houses had thatched roofs. Thick straw, piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the pets. . . dogs, cats and other small animals, mice, rats, bugs, lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really mess up your nice clean bed. So, they found if they made beds with big posts and hung a sheet over the top, it addressed that problem. Hence those beautiful big 4 poster beds with canopies.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt, hence the saying "dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors, which would get slippery in the winter when wet. So they spread thresh on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on they kept adding more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed at the entryway, hence a "thresh hold."

They cooked in the kitchen in a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They mostly ate vegetables and didn't get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been in there for a month. Hence the rhyme: " peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old."

Sometimes they could obtain pork and would feel really special when that happened. When company came over, they would bring out some bacon and hang it to show it off. It was a sign of wealth and that a man "could really bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat."

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with a high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food. This happened most often with tomatoes, so they stopped eating tomatoes . . . for 400 years.

Most people didn't have pewter plates, but had trenchers -- a piece of wood with the middle scooped out like a bowl. Trenchers were never washed and a lot of times worms got into the wood. After eating off wormy trenchers, they would get "trench mouth."

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the "upper crust."

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake."

England is old and small and they started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take their bones to a house and re-use the grave. In reopening these coffins, one out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a string on their wrist and lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night to listen for the bell. Hence on the "graveyard shift" they would know that someone was "saved by the bell" or he was a "dead ringer."

Received from Scott Neville.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Neat Quotes from TFTD

/* It looks like most of the colloquialisms from yesterday were not true according to Snopes and other sites. But you don't believe everything you read do you? :) */

These quotes were all received from Thought for the Day, a mailing list that sends an interesting thoughts every weekday. They are one of our recommended links. Visit our recommended links at http://www.gcfl.net/links.php for link and subscription information.

If you can't tie good knots, tie plenty of them. -Yachtsman's Credo

You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.

My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating. -Ashleigh Brilliant

I have CDO. It's like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, only in alphabetical order like it should be. - Spike Donner from Ruminations

The best defense against logic is ignorance.

Pay attention to your enemies, for they are the first to discover your mistakes. - Antisthenes

Pound for pound, the amoeba is the most vicious animal on earth.

When people tell you how young you look, they are also telling you how old you are. -Cary Grant

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first. -David H. Comins

I'm going to live forever, or die trying! -- Spider Robinson

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. -Abraham Lincoln

Received from TFTD.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Room Service

Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night.

"Certainly, madam," he replied courteously.

"Is the resturant open still?" inquired Mary.

"Sorry, no," came the reply, "but room service is available all night. Would you care to select something from this menu?"

Mary smiled and took the menu and perused it. "Hmm, I would like cauliflower cheese, please," said Mary.

"Certainly, madam," he replied.

"And may I have breakfast in bed?" asked Mary politely. The receptionist nodded and smiled. "In that case, I would love a couple of poached eggs, please," Mary mused.

After confirming the order, Mary signed in and went up to her room. The night passed uneventfully. The next morning, Mary came down early to check out. The same guy was still at the desk.

"Morning, madam. Sleep well?"

"Yes, thank you," Mary replied.

"Food to your liking?"

"Well, I have to say the cauliflower cheese was exceptional -- I don't think I have had better. Shame about the eggs, though; they really weren't that nice at all," replied Mary truthfully.

"Oh. Well, perhaps you could contribute these thoughts to our guest comments book. We are always looking to improve our service and would value your opinion," said the receptionist.

"Ok, I will. Thanks!" replied Mary. She then checked out, paused awhile, and scribbled a comment into the book. Waving, she left to continue her journey.

Curious, the receptionist picked up the book to see the comment Mary had written. Here it is:

"Supercauliflowercheesebuteggswerequiteatrocious!''

Received from Joke of the Week.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Sports Fanatic

My son is a sports fanatic and he has well-worn T-shirts, caps, and sweatshirts from every local team. One night, we were getting ready for an annual fund-raiser for our local theater organization.

My wife called out to my son, "This is a pretty fancy dinner. You'll have to wear a sports jacket."

My son answered, "Which team?"

Received from Thomas S. Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Bathroom Conversation

I was just sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying, "Hi, how are you?"

I don't know what got into me, as I'm not the type to start a conversation in a men's restroom at a rest stop, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed: "Doin' just fine!"

And the other guy says, "So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre, so I say, "Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling east!"

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question: "Can I come over to your place after a while?"

Ok, this question is just wacky, but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell him, "Well, I have company over, so today is a bad day for me!"

Then I hear the guy say nervously...

"LISTEN, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!"

Received from BDunamais.

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
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Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.

*Blood Flow*

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

(-:][:-)

*Parrot Skills*

A man entered a pet shop, wanting to buy a parrot. The shop owner pointed out three identical parrots on a perch and said, "The parrot to the left costs 500 dollars."

"Why does that parrot cost so much?" the man wondered.

The owner replied, "Well, it knows how to use a computer."

The man asked about the next parrot on the perch.

"That one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do, plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system."

Naturally, the startled customer asked about the third parrot.

"That one costs 2,000 dollars."

"And what does that one do?" the man asked.

The owner replied, "To be honest, I've never seen him do a thing, but the other two call him boss!"

(-:][:-)

*The Place for Grace*

When little Johnny received his plate he started eating right away.

"Johnny wait until we say our prayer."

"I don't have to."

The boy replied. "Of course, you do," his mother insisted. "We say a prayer before eating at our house."

"That's our house," Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house, and she knows how to cook!"

(-:][:-)

*Find and Replace*

The age of the computer brings much ease and expertise to the preparation of the worship folders. Some churches which use the same basic format each week can simply call up the form on the computer screen, make a few necessary changes, and presto, it's done.

But it can be tricky.

In one church I know, they use the same format for funeral services. And when a person dies and a funeral service is prepared, the secretary simply uses the word-search-and-replace process and changes the name of the deceased from the previous service to the name of the deceased who has just passed away.

Very simple.

So when Edna died, the pastor instructed the secretary to prepare the service for her by following the above mentioned process. The last person who died was Mary. So the secretary instructed the computer to change all "Marys" to Ednas." And so it was.

Imagine the surprise of the attendees when they recited the Apostles Creed and read:

"He was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Edna..."

(-:][:-)

*Family Records*

The following was overheard at a recent high society party...

"My ancestry goes all the way back to Alexander the Great," said one lady. She then turned to a second woman and asked, "How far does your family go back?"

"I don't know," was the reply. "All of our records were lost in the flood."

Eye Laugh

"Super Kitty"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw251

"Noah's Marina"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw233

"Boxing Comeback"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw250

"Monkey Cutbacks"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw249

"Openers Banned"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw248

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/giftcontract.html - - Mad Gift Giving Guide "Exchanging gifts, while fun in theory, offers endless potential for aggravation: Thronging crowds, ransacked stores, confusion, indecision, cash depletion and, finally, the belated knowledge that you bought the wrong thing. And even worse, perhaps, is receiving a spousal gift that you wouldn't buy for your worst enemy. Well, maybe for your worst enemy, but only if it's on sale..."
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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How Stuff Works - - http://www.howstuffworks.com/ - - This site presents a series of articles that explore the workings of electronics, computers, autos, finances, health, and scientific and social phenomena.
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FIndLaw Family Law Center - - http://family.findlaw.com/ - - This site by FindLaw presents legal information on family law including helpful articles and resources in five main topics: Adoption, Child Custody, Child Support, Marriage, and Adoption.
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Identity Theft - - http://www.consumer.gov/idtheft/ - - This website is a one-stop national resource to learn about the crime of identity theft. It provides detailed information to help you protect yourself from identity theft, and the steps to take if it occurs. It is also a comprehensive reference center - for consumers, businesses, law enforcement, and the media - with access to specific laws, contact information, and resources from state and federal government agencies.
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Gray's Anatomy of the Human Body - - http://www.bartleby.com/107/ - - The Bartleby.com edition of Gray's Anatomy of the Human Body features 1,247 vibrant engravings - many in color - from the classic 1918 publication, as well as a subject index with 13,000 entries ranging from the Antrum of Highmore to the Zonule of Zinn.
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NASA: Destination Earth - - http://www.earth.nasa.gov/flash_top.html - - This NASA web site indexes their various earth-based projects and outer space expeditions. In addition to information aimed at adults, there is also a special section devoted to kids so that they can learn and explore the world around them.
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Thomas - - http://thomas.loc.gov/ - - THOMAS was launched in January of 1995, at the inception of the 104th Congress. The leadership of the 104th Congress directed the Library of Congress to make federal legislative information freely available to the public. Since that time THOMAS has expanded the scope of its offerings to include features such as: Bills, Resolutions; Activity in Congress; Congressional Record; Schedules, Calendars; Committee Information; Presidential Nominations; Treaties; Government Resources.
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Today in History - - http://lcweb2.loc.gov/ammem/today/today.html - - This Library of Congress site offers a day-by-day listing of historical events. Search the archive for the day of your choice. Related sites: AP / BBC / Encarta / History Channel / InfoPlease / NYT.
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------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
Spider Bites
The following information was developed by the Texas Brine Company, and forwarded by Dick Waller at Pasadena.

SPIDER BITES

Although we may view spider bites lightly, they can result in scarring and lengthy medical treatments. Spiders are everywhere in our work environment. Everyone needs to become more aware of this natural hazard and be better prepared to act in the event of an emergency.

OUR NATURAL TERRORISTS

All spiders are venomous. Fortunately, the most venomous, Black Widows and Brown Recluses, are very shy. Black Widows have a wide distribution in the United States and tend to build their webs in locations where they will not be disturbed. Both will try to avoid human contact. Despite their reclusive habits, they do occasionally bite humans. Recluses, found mainly in the South, will typically bite when they are trapped between flesh and another surface, as when a sleeping human rolls over on a prowling spider, or when putting on clothing or shoes containing spiders.

RARE
BROWN RECLUSE

COMMON
BLACK WIDOW
WOLF SPIDER

After analyses of data gathered from our Pierce Junction location, we identified the Wolf spider as the most common. It has a very characteristic striped fuzzy body with fuzzy legs. Although they appear menacing because of the length of their body (approx. an inch), they are quite harmless and only venture into homes and offices running after insect prey.

THE BITE

Many spiders are capable of producing mild skin lesions when they bite. If these do not become infected, they usually heal in a short period of time. Many other biting insects, such as fleas, ticks, bedbugs, assassin beetles and others can cause wounds that initially resemble brown recluse spider bites. Please be advised that how or where you store you clothes could create a potential pathway.

When bitten by a Black Widow, a neurotoxin is released that can cause dull pain and cramping in muscles, that can be accompanied by sweating and vomiting. Less than 1% of black widow bites result in death.

Brown recluse bites are different than black widow bites. Brown recluse bites are cytotoxins that cause tissue death or necrosis of the bite area. Often the bite itself is unnoticed. Thirty minutes or an hour after the bite, the person will feel a burning sensation. Within eight hours, a pustule will develop. This infected area can enlarge to the size of a silver dollar. It will become ulcerated and sunken.

FIRST AID

Do’s for spider bites:

DO contact your supervisor or report to the clinic.

DO call the Poison Control Center for advice. (Not all patients need emergency room treatment, since in some cases the spider does not inject venom)

DO wash the area with soap and water.

DO sanitize the area with hydrogen peroxide or alcohol to prevent infection.

DO apply an ice pack for five to fifteen minutes. Be careful not to freeze the skin.

DO telephone 911 to summon paramedics if the victim is having an allergic reaction.

PREVENTION
Be aware that spiders are not our only predators (e.g. snakes, wasps, bees, etc.). If you are aware that you may be susceptible to any allergic reactions, please inform your supervisor. If necessary, your supervisor can contact me for the purchase of any special first aid equipment.

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
Summertime….
Thanks to Matt Lynch

…and the livin’ is easy
AND HOT!!
Avoid Heat Related Illness

While the catfish are jumpin’ and the cotton is high,
Do you worry about safety from the summertime heat?
YOU SHOULD!!

Avoid Heat Related Illness
From 1979 to 2001, more people died from extreme heat than from:
Hurricanes
Tornadoes
Floods
Lightening
COMBINED!!

Avoid Heat Related Illness

How does your body keep its cool?

It must sweat, and
The sweat must evaporate!

Avoid Heat Related Illness
How does your body lose its cool?
It can’t sweat, or
The sweat doesn’t evaporate, or
Evaporation isn’t fast enough
Avoid Heat Related Illness

How does your body lose its cool?
Dehydration, or
Hot, humid surroundings, or
High level of activity or other medical issues

Avoid Heat Related Illness
Once your body loses its cool
Temperature can rise very rapidly
Causes severe damage to brain and organs

Avoid Heat Related Illness
PREVENTION

We’ll talk about how to prevent heat related illnesses
Then we’ll talk about what to do if you don’t!
Avoid Heat Related Illness

The Little Laundry List of Prevention
Manage Your Activities
Dress the Part!
Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate!
All “Drinks” are not “Fluids!”
Monitor Yourself and Others
Avoid Heat Related Illness
Manage Your Activities
Do in early morning or late afternoon
Avoid midday activities
Avoid several days in a row in the heat
Take frequent breaks
Find the shade as often as possible
Build up your endurance to hot weather over several days
Avoid Heat Related Illness

Dress the Part!
Lightweight, light-colored, loose-fitting clothes
Wide-brimmed hat
Sunscreen

Avoid Heat Related Illness
Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate!!
Drink plenty of fluids beforehand
Don’t wait until you’re thirsty to drink during the activity
Don’t stop drinking when you’re not thirsty anymore
Drink 16-32 oz. fluids per hour!

Avoid Heat Related Illness
All “Drinks” are not “Fluids!”
Alcohol, caffeine or sugar actually dehydrate you worse
Your body expels fluids to flush them out of your body
So, no soft drinks, alcohol, coffee, tea
Water and sports drinks only!

Avoid Heat Related Illness
Monitor Yourself and Others
If you start to gasp for breath or your heart starts to pound, STOP!! Cool off!!
Be observant of others – heat illnesses can make people confused and unaware of their real condition
Notify people you observe overheating!
Act to move them to safety!

Avoid Heat Related Illness
The Stairway to a Heat-Related Death
Heat Cramps
Heat Exhaustion
Heat Stroke

Avoid Heat Related Illness
Heat Cramps
Usually affects “sweat hogs” (you know who you are*!)
Muscle pains or spasms in abdomen, arms or legs
* - Full disclosure – I am a sweat hog!

Avoid Heat Related Illness
Heat Cramps – What to Do
Stop all activity
Get to shade or air conditioning
Drink fluids (not “drinks!”)
Do not resume activities for several hours or you may progress to exhaustion and stroke
If not better in 1 hour, get medical help

Avoid Heat Related Illness
Heat Exhaustion – can develop after:
Exposure to high temperatures over one or several days or,
Inadequate/unbalanced replacement of fluids (“drinks” instead of “fluids”)
Symptoms
Tired, weak or dizzy
Heavy sweating
Headache, nausea or vomiting
Pulse – fast and weak
Breathing – fast and shallow

Avoid Heat Related Illness
Heat Exhaustion – What to Do
Stop activity (or risk heat stroke!)
Drink cool fluids
Rest
Cool off by any means possible (shade, cool water spray or shower, air conditioning)
If not better in 1 hour, get medical help

Avoid Heat Related Illness
Heat Stroke
Medical emergency – you are dying!!
Body’s cooling mechanism breaks down
Body temperature may rise to 106 (F) or higher in just 10-15 minutes!!

Avoid Heat Related Illness
Heat Stroke Symptoms
Red, hot, dry skin (no sweat on a hot day is a BAD sign!)
Strong, rapid pulse
Throbbing headache
Dizziness or nausea or confusion
Unconsciousness

Avoid Heat Related Illness
Heat Stroke – What to Do
Call 911 immediately!!
Get to a shady area
Cool down as quickly as possible
Immerse in cool water
Spray with cool water from a garden hose
Wrap ice packs in cloth and place
Behind knees
Front of wrists
Neck
Areas of high blood flow near skin surface
Do NOT use rubbing alcohol – closes sweat glands!!

Avoid Heat Related Illness
Heat Stroke – What to Do, continued:
Move to air conditioned area ASAP!
If medical help has not arrived by the time you have taken these steps, call hospital emergency room for further instructions

Avoid Heat Related Illness
Conclusion:
Don’t throw cold water on your summer fun, but
SCAN heat related illnesses to throw cold water on summer heat hazards!

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
Fire Alarm Safety
Thanks to Michael LaFauci

It is important to make sure that you and your families remain safe and having fire alarms in your home will double your chances of survival. Few people realize how much destruction can result from a fire. Fire alarms should be installed outside every bedroom for early detection. An emergency fire action plan should be discussed to each member of the family so that they understand what to do in case of emergency. Choose a place outside the home where family members can meet to be sure everyone is safely out of the building.

Types of Fire Alarms
There are two types of fire alarms you should have an ionized and photoelectric. When smoke enters a photoelectric alarm, light from a pulsating light source in reflected off the smoke particles onto a light sensor, triggering the alarm. When smoke enters an ionization alarm, ionized air molecules attach to the smoke particles and reduce the ionizing current, triggering the alarm. While photoelectric smoke alarms generally respond faster to smoldering smoke conditions and ionization smoke alarms generally respond faster to flaming fire conditions.
Below is a diagram on the fire triangle to help you understand on how a fire starts.
Four things must be present at the same time in order to produce fire:
1. Enough oxygen to sustain combustion,
2. Enough heat to raise the material to its ignition temperature,
3. Some sort of fuel or combustible material, and
4. The chemical, exothermic reaction that is fire.

Oxygen, heat, and fuel are frequently referred to as the "fire triangle." Add in the fourth element, the chemical reaction, and you actually have a fire "tetrahedron." The important thing to remember is: take any of these four things away, and you will not have a fire or the fire will be extinguished. Essentially, fire extinguishers put out fire by taking away one or more elements of the fire triangle/tetrahedron. Fire safety, at its most basic, is based upon the principle of keeping fuel sources and ignition sources separate.

Fire Extinguisher Safety

When operating a fire extinguisher make sure that you are using the right type. Below is a list of the four different types of fires and the correct way to use a fire extinguisher.
Not all fires are the same, and they are classified according to the type of fuel that is burning. If you use the wrong type of fire extinguisher on the wrong class of fire, you can, in fact, make matters worse. It is therefore very important to understand the four different fire classifications.
Class A - Wood, paper, cloth, trash, plasticsSolid combustible materials that are not metals. (Class A fires generally leave an Ash.)
Class B - Flammable liquids: gasoline, oil, grease, acetone Any non-metal in a liquid state, on fire. This classification also includes flammable gases. (Class B fires generally involve materials that Boil or Bubble.)
Class C - Electrical: energized electrical equipmentAs long as it's "plugged in," it would be considered a class C fire. (Class C fires generally deal with electrical Current.)
Class D - Metals: potassium, sodium, aluminum, magnesium Unless you work in a laboratory or in an industry that uses these materials, it is unlikely you'll have to deal with a Class D fire. It takes special extinguishing agents (Metal-X, foam) to fight such a fire.

Most fire extinguishers will have a pictograph label telling you which classifications of fire the extinguisher is designed to fight. For example, a simple water extinguisher might have a label like the one below, indicating that it should only be used on Class A fires.

PASS
It's easy to remember how to use a fire extinguisher if you can remember the acronym PASS, which stands for Pull, Aim, Squeeze, and Sweep.

Pull the pin. This will allow you to discharge the extinguisher.
Aim at the base of the fire. If you aim at the flames (which is frequently the temptation), the extinguishing agent will fly right through and do no good. You want to hit the fuel.
Squeeze the top handle or lever. This depresses a button that releases the pressurized extinguishing agent in the extinguisher.

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
June 9, 2006
Be Aware of the Weather Conditions
Today's Message is from Becky Wofford (a Houston Albemarle employee).

Once again, I am amazed by the fact that an experience you can use for these messages "just happens to occur" when it is your turn!

We spent the Memorial Day Weekend camping at Goose Island State Park near Rockport along the Texas coast. It was extremely windy all weekend, but nothing like the storm that blew in on Monday night. Seems to have been our payment for extending our annual trip an extra day.

We did note the dark clouds gathering on the horizon to the north on our way back to camp after enjoying seafood at a local restaurant, but figured it would be a thunderstorm that would move through quickly. How wrong we were!

What began with very strong winds and heavy rain at 8:30 pm, continued with the same vigorous force until 4:00 am Tuesday morning. We can take comfort in the fact that our new 5th wheel camper can withstand tropical storm force winds and heavy rain, but that did little to comfort us during the night. We were situated perpendicular to the force of the wind so the upper sleeping quarters were really swaying, as was the slide-out on the side facing into the wind, where the couple that goes camping with us sleeps.

Our other friends have an older model canvas pop-up tent trailer which really got soaked through and began to leak. They moved to their truck before midnight. One of their bed supports was blown off and a jack stand worked loose.

The park ranger told us the next morning that winds at the Rockport airport were clocked in excess of 60 mph, and that is in a much more protected area than the spit of sand we were on! We only had about 3-4 inches of rain; it was just the wind that would not stop! Luckily, most of the people staying at the campground for the weekend had already left. A couple camped near us packed their stuff and hooked up to leave during the height of the storm. They had a young child camping with them.

The scariest part was not knowing what to expect or how long it would last. We turned on our TV and listened to the news on a Corpus Christi station at 10 pm, but nothing about severe weather in the area was mentioned. Gary ventured out to drive to the restroom (be wary of racoons that try to seek shelter in the restrooms too!) and tried to find a radio station with some news, but was not successful. We also discovered that we did not have the emergency number for the park rangers anywhere handy.

From now on, included in our camping gear will be -

1. A portable radio with a weather band - no matter what the forecast.
2. The emergency number for the park or campground where we are staying.

Remember - always be aware of your surroundings and the weather conditions - in this area they can change in an instant or last forever.
------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
June 6, 2006
Some Folks Don't Care for Snakes
Today's Safety From the Heart message was submitted by Dale Mann.

Some folks don't care for snakes. In fact, some people are downright terrified of them. I want to relay a story that happened at work which may help keep someone else from making the same mistakes.

Some years ago I killed a snake at the cleaning pad. He was a nice one - I'm 6' and could hold it about level with my head. His head and some of his body would still roll on the ground. I showed it to a few other fellows in the area so they could admire it. As we were admiring the snake, the thought occurred to us that other people may want to admire him also; we shouldn't keep this one to ourselves. So we threw him on the floorboard of the scooter and I headed up to the office.

I took the snake off the floorboard when I reached the office and walked in with it, surely thought everyone would be admiring the snake. Lo and behold, people took off while shouting profane language. The Shipping Foreman's desk was situated with the chair almost against the wall; he turned and tried to make a door through the wall. Surely was a lot of commotion for an admirable snake.

All this racket was giving me the heebie jeebies so I threw him back on the floorboard and headed off down to the woods to chunk him out. Then a fellow who worked in Maintenance shouted to stop. I was on 3rd Street and not wanting to appear rude, I stopped and waited on him. Well, he didn't give me a chance to tell him there was a snake on the floorboard of the scooter; he said, "give me a ride" and ran around to the passenger side. I was looking and couldn't say anything. He jumped in, did some gyrations when he stepped on the snake, tried to do a back flip off the scooter. He was lucky I was holding on to him, don't think he would have scored a 10 for execution, he may have been close to 10 on effort. I was laughing so hard I couldn't hardly breathe, but I couldn't get rid of that snake fast enough after that.

The point to all this is when you catch snakes, etc, most people really don't want to see critters and may even hurt themselves to avoid them. Do yourself and your co-workers a favor - when you kill them, chunk the kill in the woods.
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ. www.mcc2000.net
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To all my Crack pot friends!

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends Of a pole which she carried across her neck.

One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do. After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house."

The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?" "That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them." "For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

So, to all of my "crackpot" friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!

Thanks to Ricky Shepherd
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A close friend of mine needs some prayer. He cannot hear out of his right ear at all and this is also causing equilibrium problems for him. He is scared about the situation.

Also pray for the father of one of my close friends; my friend believes his dad does not know Christ. Pray that God will deliver this man to the Crusade and hear the Word of God.

Everyone, all churches, and all denominations are invited to attend a prayer meeting next Monday night, 6PM, at KZHE. Currently, Bro. Bobby Harris will lead the group in prayer. If you want to see souls saved during the Crusade, then come to this meeting and help us pray.

Monday, June 12, 2006
7:00 P.M.
Union StreetStation (KZHE) Magnolia

Jason Sands
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[NOTE: I don’t agree with Rick Warren on the “source” of pain but I do agree with much of his writing on how to deal with pain. (He says “...one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.”) So, like many other bible teachers, I try to “get the goodie” out of his writings and I don’t expect him to agree with me 100%. Bug]

"Purpose Driven Life "

About Rick Warren

You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having "wealth" from the book sales.

This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren , "Purpose Driven Life " author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California .

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:

People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me.

I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal.

God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.

God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.

We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.

I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.

Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a ra ilroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.

And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.

If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, "which is my problem, my issues, my pain."

But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.

It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.
Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.

It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.

So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.
Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.
Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.
Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?

Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD. Difficult moments, SEEK GOD. Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD. Painful moments, TRUST GOD. Every moment, THANK GOD.

Thanks to David Lamb
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Activities and Events of Interest
~~~
The Purple Hull Pea Festival is scheduled for June 23 and 24
~~~
The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/

01. Spc. Brett L. Tribble, 20, of Lake Jackson, Texas, died in Ar Ramadi on June 3 of injuries sustained in Ar Ramadi, Iraq on June 2, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV during combat operations. Tribble was assigned to the Army's 2nd Battalion, 6th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Armored Division, Baumholder, Germany.

02. Cpl. Ryan J. Cummings, 22, of Streamwood, Ill., died June 3, from wounds received while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to 1st Battalion, 1st Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

03. Staff Sgt. Darren Harmon, 44, of Newark Del., died in Haditha, Iraq, on June 3, from a non-combat related cause. Harmon was assigned to the Army Reserves 203rd Military Intelligence Battalion, 205th Military Intelligence Brigade, Aberdeen Proving Ground, Md.

04. Cpl. Derek A. Stanley, 20, of Tulsa, Okla., died in Salerno, Afghanistan, on June 5, from a non-combat related cause. Stanley was assigned to the 710th Brigade Support Battalion, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry), Fort Drum, N.Y.

05. Petty Officer 1st Class Gary T. Rovinski, 44, of Roseville, Ill., died June 5, in Al Anbar Province, Iraq, as a result of enemy action when his HMMWV was struck by an improvised explosive device. Rovinski was assigned to Naval Mobile Construction Battalion 25, Fort McCoy, Wis.


06. Maj. Michael D. Stover, 43, of Mansfield, Ohio, died June 3 from a non-hostile incident in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to Marine Wing Support Squadron-371, Marine Wing Support Group-37, 3rd Marine Aircraft Wing, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Air Station Yuma, Ariz.

07. Sgt. 1st Class. Issac S. Lawson, 35, of Sacramento, Calif., died in Baghdad, Iraq, on June 5, of injuries sustained when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV during combat operations. Lawson was assigned to the National Guard's 49th Military Police Brigade, Fairfield, Calif.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died in Khogyani, Afghanistan, on June 6, when their HMWWV struck two anti-tank mines during combat operations. Both soldiers were assigned to the National Guard's, 1st Battalion, 188th Air Defense Artillery, Grand Forks, N.D. Killed were:
08. Sgt. Travis A. Vanzoest, 21, of Larimore, N.D.
09. Spc. Curtis R. Mehrer, 21, of Bismarck, N.D.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Baghdad, Iraq, on June 4, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their M1A2 tank during combat operations. Both soldiers were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 66th Armor Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas. Killed were:
10. 1st Lt. Ryan T. Sanders, 27, of College Station, Texas.
11. Sgt. Daniel R. Gionet, 23, of Pelham, N.H.

12. Sgt. Mark T. Smykowski, 23, of Mentor, Ohio, died June 6 while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to 2nd Reconnaissance Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

13. Sgt. Mark T. Smykowski, 23, of Mentor, Ohio, died June 6 while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to 2nd Reconnaissance Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

14. Petty Officer 2nd Class Jaime S. Jaenke, 29, of Bay City, Wis., died June 5 as a result of enemy action when her HMMWV was struck by an improvised explosive device in Al Anbar province, Iraq. She was assigned to Naval Mobile Construction Battalion 25, Fort McCoy, Wis.
The incident also resulted in the death of Petty Officer 1st Class Gary Rovinski.

15. Staff Sgt. Richard A. Blakley, 34, of Plainfield, Ind., died in Al Khalidiyah, Iraq, on June 6, when he was shot by enemy small arms fire during dismounted combat patrol operations. Blakley was assigned to the National Guard's 38th Main Support Battalion, Indianapolis, Ind.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Ar Ramadi, Iraq, on June 7, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their HMMWV during combat operations. Both soldiers were assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 6th Infantry Regiment, Baumholder, Germany. Killed were:
16. 1st Lt. Scott M. Love, 32, of Knoxville, Tenn.
17. Pfc. David N. Crombie, 19, of Winnemucca, Nev.

18. Cpl. Luis D. Santos, 20, of Rialto, Calif., died in Buritz, Iraq, on June 8, of injuries sustained when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV during combat operations. Santos was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 68th Armor Regiment, 3rd Heavy Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Carson, Colo.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Ar Ramadi, Iraq, on June 6, when their camp received indirect enemy fire during combat operations. Both soldiers were assigned to the 46th Engineer Battalion, Fort Rucker, Ala. Killed were:
19. Sgt. Carlos E. Pernell, 25, of Munford, Ala.
20. Cpl. Andy D. Anderson, 24, of Falls Church, Va.

~~~

Missing WWII Servicemen are Identified

The Defense POW/Missing Personnel (DPMO) announced today that three servicemen missing in action from World War II have been identified and are being returned to their families for burial with full military honors.

The three are 2nd Lt. Robert H. Cameron of Elkhart, Ind.; Cpl. George E. Cunningham of Rich Hill, N.Y., all U.S. Army Air Forces; and Capt. Vladimir M. Sasko, Chicago, U.S. Army Medical Corps. Cameron will be buried at Arlington National Cemetery near Washington, D.C., on Friday. Sasko was buried in December in Chicago, and final arrangements for Cunningham have yet to be confirmed.

On Dec. 10, 1944, a C-47 crewed by Cameron and Cunningham took off from Dobudura, New Guinea, on a cargo flight to Hollandia with three passengers aboard, including Sasko. Forty minutes into the flight the crew radioed a request for weather information. Another pilot in the area replied that the weather was bad, saying he was headed out to sea to avoid it. After that, there was no further contact with the Cameron crew. Search teams in the area from the Royal Australian Air Force were unsuccessful in finding the crash site.

In 1979 and 1980, search and recovery teams from the U.S. Army’s Central Identification Laboratory, Hawaii (CILHI) found the site and recovered remains subsequently identified by CILHI scientists as those of 2nd Lt. Stanley D. Campbell of Pioche, Nev., and Cpl. Carl A. Drain, hometown unknown.

In October and November 2004 a team from the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC) – CILHI’s successor organization – excavated the site in Morobe Province, Papua New Guinea, where they recovered human remains and personal effects of the remaining airmen.

JPAC scientists and Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory specialists used mitochondrial DNA as one of the forensic tools to help identify the remains. Laboratory analysis of dental remains also confirmed their identification.

For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO website and http://www.dtic.mil/dpmo or call (703) 699-1169.

http://icasualties.org/oif/default.aspx
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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Scheduled Activities
~~~
Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 8 p.m. Monday - Friday. At noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and at 7 p.m. Sunday at 914 N. Vine
~~~
Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
~~~
Columbia County Diabetes Support Group - Every third Monday, 7:00 p.m. room 222, Magnolia Hospital
~~~
"Focus on the Family" with Dr. James Dobson weekday afternoons at 1 PM on KVMA am 630 it's a great show!
~~~
MCC - Abraham Prayer - Sunday at 5:00 p.m and Wednesday from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm
~~~
MCC - "Beth Moore" Video Class - Thursday nights at 5:45 pm
~~~
MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
~~~
MCC - Firm Foundations Class, Sunday 9:30 to 10:15 a.m
~~~
MCC - Meadow Brook Nursing Home Ministry Tuesday from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m
~~~
MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
~~~
MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
~~~
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
~~~
Narcotics Anonymous 5-6 pm every Monday at 220 Pine street.
~~~
TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) 5 pm every Tuesday in the Magnolia Hospital break room.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
John 12:47-50 Mat 9:36-38 Luke 18:35-43 Job 7:2-4 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. For the "Blog" version just go to http://bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com/ or http://bugsbleat.blogspot.com/ to see the latest issue. We also have a site [http://bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com/] where we post photos that I like.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2006 before it was sent.
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Crossing Lesson

The Clydesdales
One of the smaller grills in the parade.
A lovely "Mule Rider" 

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Crossing Lesson

Volume 8, Issue 22 Friday, June 02, 2006

Hello All,

Due to work responsibilities and health issues, we’ve gotten a couple of months behind in our postings. We hope to get out a couple a week until we catch up, if other duties allow us.
~~~~~
Woodmen Lodges 341 and 1410 honored the local heroes who protect out community.

The ceremony called " In Honor and Remberance - Woodmen Salutes America's Heroes," included recognition of the EMTs', firefighters, police officers, members of the armed forces, the medical profession and others who help safeguard our community and our nation throughout the year. They dedicated the “Everyday Heroes” memorial at City Hall.
~~~~~
Speaking of heroes, we heard from one of our favorite soldiers this week.
~
Hey Bro James!
Just wanted to drop you a line. I'm in Kuwait now for the next couple of months. It's not that bad here. 3 square meals a day and all the water and Gatorade you could want!
I'm trying to lose weight but it ain't looking too good! We have a Pizza Inn, Pizza Hut, Subways, KFC, McDonald's and a coffee shop here.
As soon as I can get my hands on a digital camera I'll send you some pictures from here. There are still bunkers and hangers here that were damaged during Desert Storm. Out by one of our fuel storage areas there are even a couple of tanks still out in a field that were destroyed during the war.
Our main mission here is to move people and cargo in and out of the theater of operations. So we're pretty busy here. Plus this is where the wounded in Iraq and Afghanistan come to before they go to Germany to the Army hospital there. It's pretty sad. We have a flagpole in front of the chow hall here and you always know when someone doesn't make it because they fly the flag at half-staff. I told Kathy yesterday that I've already seen it at half-staff twice in the past 3 days.
Well by mid June we should know where we're going to be stationed next. We're trying for either Little Rock AFB or Barksdale AFB.
We're ready to come back to the states now. I've been overseas for a total of 8 ½ years all together. I'm ready to settle down back in the states. I only have 6 more years till I can officially retire from the military. That's why we're trying to get as close to home as possible.
Kathy surprised me just before I left to come over here. She bought me the new Pocket Full of Rocks CD. I love it! It reminds me of when they would come to MCC.

Well I have to get back to work now. Tell everyone I said hi. Also if anyone wants to e-mail me and say hi you can give my address to them. Thanks again for the bleat!! I love it! God bless and take care!

TODD A. RAYMOND, SSgt, USAF
Fuels Resource Control Accountant
386 ELRS/LGRF
Ali Al Salem AB, Kuwait
~~~~~
This week’s Taylor kid story

“A bucket of water is as good as half a day of work.”

My Uncle Fort was one of the smartest of the seven Taylor Kids. And I pride myself in taking after him just a little bit. One of his talents was conserving energy. You see, all the kids had to help “hoe cotton” and that wasn’t an easy job. So Fort developed a technique. He’d march out to the fields with the rest of the kids, then go play down by the creek until he heard the dinner bell ringing.
Then he’d race to the well behind the hedges between the house and the fields and draw up a bucket of water. Just before the other kids got there he’d dump the water over his head and drag around the hedge and toward the back door of the house. Often his mother would see the poor exhausted little Fort, soaking with sweat from hard work and tell him to take a nap after dinner (lunch to y’all) instead of going back into the fields with his siblings.
He developed this nap habit and maintained it the rest of his life. When my cousins and I were working for him years later, we’d all go up to his house to eat dinner and, sure enough, he’d always take a nap after we ate.

And, this weeks Charlie, Dinah Sue, and James Fort story;

“The courageous washtub captain”

One afternoon we were playing in the woods behind Uncle Cecil’s and discovered an old galvanized washtub. It took us no time to decide it would make a good boat. The creek through the woods was swollen from recent rains and was probably 20 to 25 foot wide.
Of course, the first order of business was to decide who was going to sail it first. And, as usual, Dinah Sue won the fight, I mean discussion, and we pushed her into the creek for the first trip.
Problem was that this was a really old washtub and it sank almost immediately. Dinah Sue grabbed a sapling tree and hung on above the water, screaming for us to get her out.
At this point, Charlie and I had a decision to make. Should we:
1. Go home and pretend we didn’t know where Dinah Sue was?
2. Go home and admit we’d been doing something stupid and get help for Dinah Sue?
3. Try to rescue her ourselves?
After careful consideration, we rejected option 1 because, if Dinah Sue managed to get out herself, she’d come looking for us and it wouldn’t be pretty. We rejected option 2 because we’d probably get a whipping (or at least Charlie would) after they got Dinah Sue out.
So we were left with option 3. We huddled and got another sapling tree and bent it toward Dinah Sue so she could grab it and we pulled her to the bank.
You’d have thought she’d have been grateful to us for saving her instead of griping us out for taking a while to decide if and how we’d save her.
~~~~~
I was one of the emergency responders in Columbia County that got an "AWIN" radio installed in his vehicle. It does work great and enhances my ability to communicate. Our “AWIN” system uses an existing tower in Columbia County.
“Bug”
~
Publication: Texarkana Gazette; Section: Metro; Page: 2
“Miller County gets $4.9 million emergency communication system”
Jim Williamson Texarkana Gazette

A new $4.9 million communication system will let the left hand know what the right hand is doing in Miller County emergencies.

Construction started this week on a tower in Bright Star in the south central area of Miller County for the Arkansas Wireless Information Network project.

The tower is on property on the south side of Arkansas Highway 160 near Bright Star School.

“This system stems from the 9/11 attack on the World Trade Center when emergency crews were unable to communicate, and the left hand didn’t know what the right hand was doing. We learned a lesson about communications, and this new system will help coordinate the different agencies during a disaster or crisis,” said Terry Purvis, Miller County Emergency Management coordinator.

“By being on a common radio, efforts to save lives and property will now be quicker and more efficient. Efforts will be better coordinated and procedures will not be duplicated due to lack of communications,” said Purvis.

Dale Saffold, AWIN project director, toured the tower site Wednesday morning with other emergency management personnel and Miller County Judge Roy John McNatt. Saffold is a captain with the Arkansas State Police and supervises the AWIN program through the Department of Information Systems, a separate state agency.

“This will be state-of-the-art radio communications. It will be one of three crowning jewels in the state. Miller County is one of three pilot projects in the state. The other counties selected as pilot projects are Craighead and Lonoke,” said Saffold.

The AWIN network will coordinate communications with the Arkansas State Police, the Arkansas Department of Emergency Management, the Arkansas Department of Parks and Tourism, the Arkansas Department of Environmental Quality, the State Capitol Police, the Arkansas Department of Correction, the Arkansas Forestry Commission and the Arkansas Department of Health he said.

“We’ve had a problem with dead spots in this county for years with communications.

This should eliminate the dead spots. When we get this project completed, we will be a showcase for other counties,” McNatt said.

The project is funded by $4.9 million in grants from the Department of Homeland Security, Office of Domestic Preparedness and the State of Arkansas.

“As a pilot county, we will install two new communication towers and convert one other tower now in use by the City of Texarkana to the new AWIN system and to use on a day-to-day operation,” said Purvis.

Locations of these towers will be Bright Star with a tower height of 300 feet and the 325-foot Wolf Mountain tower. The existing City of Texarkana tower is on New Boston Road.

The Bi-State Justice Building Operations Center and the Miller County Sheriff’s Office will install new dispatch consoles.

The county will receive 350 Motorola radios with an estimated value of $4,000 each.

In addition to the police, paid and volunteer fire departments will receive radios along with city managers, county judge, ambulances, hospitals and public works officials.

Radios issued in Miller County include: Sheriff—35 mobiles, 35 hand-held portables and one new dispatch console.

Texarkana, Ark ., police—45 mobiles and 120 hand-held portables.
Texarkana, Ark., fire—12 mobiles and 32 hand-held portables with six control stations.
Bi-State Operations Center—one new dispatch console.
Miller County Emergency Management—10 mobiles and 10 hand-held portables.
City of Garland—two mobiles and two hand-held portables.
City of Fouke—two mobiles and two hand-held portables.
Miller County Judge—one mobile and one portable.
Miller County Judge’s Office—one hand-held portable.
Texarkana, Ark., Mayor—one hand-held portable.

Texarkana City Manager—one hand-held portable.
Texarkana Public Works—two hand-held portables.
Miller County Road Department—three hand-held portables.
Miller County Health Department—one hand-held portable.

The tower is being constructed by Taylor Commercial Construction Inc., which also has the contract for the towers in the other pilot counties. Purvis expects the tower to be completed by the end of the summer and the communication system to be in operation then.

Thanks to Joe Mullins for this information. By the way, the Mobile Radios cost about $5,000 each and the Hand Helds are $7,000
~~~~~
The photos on the front of this weeks “Bleat” include a lovely “Mule Rider”, one of the smaller grills in the parade and the Clydesdales.
~~~~~
Don’t forget to check out www.mcc2000.net
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleat3q.blogspot.com, and http://www.bugsbleat4q.blogspot.com. Our photos are now posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
www.aaa.com Regular
Current Avg. $ 2.75
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - We’re sharing recipes from Shannon Voigt’s new Taylor Recipe Book
Hot Tamale Dip
Shannon Voigt

Ingredients:
1 large (2-lb) box Velveeta cheese
1-2 can(s) Ro-Tel, un-drained
(Depends on how "liquidy" you prefer it)
1 large can Hormel Beef Tamales
1 bunch green onions, finely chopped
1 small can chopped black olives
Chili seasoning mix, to taste
Cumin, to taste

Method:
Melt the Velveeta & Ro-Tel in a bowl in the microwave. Remove the husks from the tamales and mash the tamales, with juice, in a bowl. Add tamales to the cheese & continue to cook. Chop the green onions and black olives and stir into cheese. Add the chili seasoning & cumin. Continue to cook until hot & bubbly.
Notes: Can keep warm in crock-pot.
~~~~~
BreakPoint
With Chuck Colson

Marriage and Crime
By Chuck Colson
6/2/2006

The Deadly Connection

For thirty years I have been going into prisons across America. It has been a wonderful opportunity to share Christ, but it has also been depressing to watch the prison population explode at the same time: When I left prison thirty years ago, there were 239,000 inmates—now there are 2.3 million in America.

What characteristics do these inmates share? They are getting younger, more violent, and more dangerous. And why are they flooding our prisons? I can tell you from talking to thousands of them, from reports within the ministry, and from studies done, that it’s happening for one primary reason: the lack of moral training during the morally formative years. These kids are coming from broken families.

This is just one reason that I am so passionately in favor of the Marriage Protection Amendment, which is coming up for a vote in the Senate next week. It declares that marriage will consist of one man and one woman. Passage of this constitutional amendment is essential to stop the courts from throwing out state marriage laws and referenda banning gay “marriage” passed by the people.

And the amendment is essential to protect the sanctity of marriage. Now, some don’t like the moral or philosophical arguments for a marriage amendment. Others dislike dealing with a contentious social issue at all or simply do not like amending the Constitution. My response to these people is, “Do you want to continue to see our prisons fill with kids who have been raised like feral children in the wilderness? Do we want to risk further damage to the integrity of the family?”

Some people then ask, “How would gay ‘marriage’ affect the sanctity of heterosexual marriage?” The answer comes from Europe. Stanley Kurtz of the Hoover Institution makes a compelling case that same-sex “marriage” will undermine traditional marriage by increasing the gap between marriage and parenthood. Once marriage is redefined to accommodate same-sex couples, Kurtz writes, “that change cannot help but lock in and reinforce the very cultural separation between marriage and parenthood that makes gay marriage conceivable to begin with.”

For example, prior to 1993, when Norwegian courts imposed same-sex “marriage,” Norway had a low out-of-wedlock birth rate. The traditional link between marriage and parenthood was still in place. But once same-sex “marriage” was legalized, Norway’s illegitimacy rate shot up as the link was broken and cohabitation became normal. The same thing is now happening in Holland and Canada. Where gay “marriage” is approved, the number of couples in heterosexual marriages precipitously declines.

Ironically, once gays have the right to marry, few take advantage of it. Evidently, they want the right to marry only because they do not want heterosexuals to have something they can’t have. And they are willing to destroy the institution for everybody else.

The result is going to be more broken families—and more crime.

That is why passing the Marriage Protection Amendment is so urgent right now. Please call your senators and tell them, “Next week vote for the Marriage Protection Amendment.” And visit our website as well so you can get information that will help you better argue the case—because if we don’t make heroic efforts to restore the sanctity of marriage, we are not going to be able to build prisons fast enough.

Take action:

Call your two senators today and urge them to vote for the Marriage Protection Amendment. The vote is expected to take place June 6 or 7. The Capitol switchboard is 202-224-3121, or learn your senators’ direct lines by visiting www.senate.gov.

For Further Reading and Information

Please help support the work of Prison Fellowship and the Christian worldview ministries of BreakPoint and the Wilberforce Forum by donating online today or calling 1-877-322-5527.

June 5-7 is your opportunity to get involved by volunteering with the Wilberforce Forum in conjunction with The Arlington Group, a coalition of “pro-family” organizations that is dedicated to protecting the traditional institution of marriage being between “one man and one woman.”

The Marriage Amendment information packet includes articles and fact sheets to help you understand and articulate the facts in the current marriage debate. To order, call 1-877-322-5527.

You can send an e-mail to your senators and representative at www.rcm.org, the website of the Religious Coalition for Marriage, of which Chuck Colson and the Wilberforce Forum are a part.

In anticipation of an upcoming U.S. Senate debate and vote over the Marriage Protection Amendment, BreakPoint offers a list of resources and information to discuss the urgent need of protecting marriage.

BreakPoint Commentary No. 040624, “Take Your Choice: Parents or Prisons?”

Stanley Kurtz, “The End of Marriage in Scandinavia,” Weekly Standard, 2 February 2004.

Maggie Gallagher, “Whom Should Adoption Serve?” BreakPoint WorldView, June 2006.

Mariam Bell and Erin McCormick, “Marriage Matters,” BreakPoint WorldView, May 2006.

Regis Nicoll, “The Dangers of Same-Sex ‘Marriage’,” BreakPoint Online, 26 May 2006.

The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics.
© 2004-2006 Prison Fellowship
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
malcontent: one who is discontented or dissatisfied.
cerebration: the act or product of thinking.
forfend: to avert; also, to protect or preserve.
equable: equal and uniform; also, not easily disturbed.
pleonasm: the use of more words than are necessary to express an idea.
stormy petrel: a type of seabird; also, one fond of or bringing strife.
neoteric: recent in origin; new.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"For all our conceits about being the center of the universe, we live in a routine planet of a humdrum star stuck away in an obscure corner ... on an unexceptional galaxy which is one of about 100 billion galaxies. That is the fundamental fact of the universe we inhabit, and it is very good for us to understand that." - Carl Sagan

"Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it." - Christopher Morley

"Intolerance of ambiguity is the mark of an authoritarian personality." - Theodor Adorno

"Our repentance is not so much regret for the ill we have done as fear of the ill that may happen to us in consequence." - Francois duc de La Rochefoucauld

"They are dead; but they live in each Patriot's breast, And their names are engraven on honor's bright crest." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"There is nothing worse than a brilliant image of a fuzzy concept." - Ansel Adams

"Earth is here [Australia] so kind, that just tickle her with a hoe and she laughs with a harvest." - Douglas William Jerrold
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/
Global Day of Prayer - Pentecost Sunday, June 4th
Aimee Herd (Jun 2, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2588
"…We are truly excited that there are 189 nations in the world that have already made formal commitments to participate in the Global Day of Prayer at thousands of venues around the world."

Update on Rolland and Heidi Baker's Situation
Rolland Baker (Jun 1, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2587
Dear friends who have written about our Pemba crisis,

No Abortions on Indian Land, Says South Dakota Tribe
News Staff / Aimee Herd reporting (Jun 1, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2583
"A child conceived, but not born, is to be deemed an existing person so far as may be necessary for its interest and welfare to be protected in the event of its subsequent birth."

Dutch Sheets: "To Win This War, America, WE MUST PRAY!"
Dutch Sheets / Aimee Herd (May 31, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2579
In a "National Prayer Alert," intercessors throughout the country are urgently calling the church in the United States to pray like never before; to pray for the war against terrorism, and for President Bush.

Urgent Prayer Request from Heidi and Rolland Baker
Rolland Baker / Aimee Herd (May 31, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2578
We received this urgent prayer request today from Iris ministries, thank you for joining with us in prayer for these precious warriors.

Poland Stands Strong Against the "Tide of Secularism" in Europe
Tom Hundley/Teresa Neumann Reporting (May 30, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2574
"Poles are incredibly fond of America"

In Christ Alone - a Soldier's Thoughts for Memorial Day
EMICMG / Aimee Herd reporting (May 29, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2572
"I can tell you that I feel more secure in claiming the promise: 'No power of hell, no scheme of man, can ever pluck me from his hand, till he returns or calls me home' - than I do with that rifle and pistol."

Prayer Alert: Reports of Over 3,000 Killed by Earthquake in Indonesia
News Staff / Aimee Herd reporting (May 29, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2571
"The area struck by the quake is densely-populated. The Indonesian Red Cross estimates some 200,000 people fled their homes after it hit early on Saturday morning."
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GCF: Crossing Lesson

Emailed to me from another humor list (You Make Me Laugh) -Tom To subscribe to You Make Me Laugh, send a blank email to: SUBSCRIBE-laugh@lists.crosswalk.com

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/ Unsubscribe info for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2006 before it was sent.
-------------------------------------------

A man is trying to cross the street. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming around the corner and heads straight for him. The man walks faster, trying to hurry across the street, but the car changes lanes and is still coming at him.

So the guy turns around to go back, but the car changes lanes again and is still coming at him.

By now, the car is so close and the man so scared that he just freezes and stops in the middle of the road.

The car gets real close, then swerves at the last possible moment and screeches to a halt right next him.

The driver rolls down the window.

The driver is a squirrel.

The squirrel looks at the man and says, "See, it's not as easy as it looks, is it?"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Accuracy!

Emailed to me from another humor list (The Funnies) -Tom To subscribe to The Funnies, send a blank email to: andychaps_the-funnies-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------------

There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about six years old. Something of his had found its way into my garage, he said, and he wanted it back.

Upon opening the garage door, I noticed two additions: a baseball and a broken window sporting a baseball-sized hole. "How do you suppose this ball got in here?" I asked the boy.

Taking one look at the ball, one look at the window, and one look at me, the boy exclaimed, "Wow! I must have thrown it right through that hole!"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Baseball Quote

Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day) -Tom To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to: martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------------

At the UPS cargo phone center where I worked, a woman called and said, "I need a baseball quote."

I immediately answered with Yogi Berra's famous quote: "It ain't over 'til it's over!"

There was a brief moment of silence before the woman asked, "What was that?"

"You asked me for a baseball quote," I responded, "and that was the first thing that came into my head."

"Oh," she replied. "My husband told me to call and get a baseball quote."

I asked if she wanted to ship something, and she said she did.

Then it dawned on me: "Do you mean you want a ballpark figure?"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Wireless Security System

Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day) -Tom
To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to: martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------------

How to install a wireless security system:

Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used work boots ... a really big pair. Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine. Put a dog dish beside it ... a really big dish. Leave a note on your front door that says something like this: "Bubba, Big Mike and I have gone to get more ammunition - back in 30 minutes. Don't disturb the pit bulls, they've just been wormed."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Private Bath

Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day) -Tom To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to: martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------------

My husband and I found a charming bed-and-breakfast nestled in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. Though enchanted, I nonetheless had some questions about the accommodations.

"Does the room have its own bath?" I asked.

Nodding, the proprietor answered, "If no one else shows up, it does."
_ ____________________________ _
____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Golf got its name because all \ /
\ _/ of the other four letter words \_ /
/ / were taken. \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / What happens if you are \ /
\ _/ scared half to death twice? \_ /
/ / \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / \ /
\ _/The spell-checker is hear two stay.\_ /
/ / \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / The people should not \ \_/ ////
\ / be afraid of the government. \ /
\ _/ The government should \_ /
/ / be afraid of the people. \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / If Ginsu knives can cut \ /
\ _/ through anything, \_ /
/ / how do they keep them in the box? \ _ ____________________________ _
Thomas S. Ellsworth
tellswor@slonet.org
http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor
____________________________
Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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[GCFL.net] Henry

A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of a ten-point buck.

"Where's Henry?"

"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail."

"You left Henry lying out there and carried the deer back!?!"

"A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to steal Henry."

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] An Emotional Hole

Bob and his three golf buddies were out playing and were just starting on the back nine when Bob paused, looked down the fairway, and began to sob uncontrollably.

The other three gathered around him and asked, "What's wrong?"

Bob looked down at his feet, sniffed, and dried his eyes some, then apologized for his emotional outburst. "I'm sorry, I always get emotional at this hole -- it holds very difficult memories for me."

One of his buddies asked, "What happened? What could have gotten you so upset?"

Bob stared silently off in the distance, then said in a low voice, "This is where my wife and I were playing 12 years ago when she suddenly died of a heart attack -- right at this very hole!"

"Oh no!" the other golfers said. "That must have been horrible!"

"Horrible? You think it's horrible?" Bob cried in disbelief. "It was worse than that! Every hole for the rest of the day, all the way back to the clubhouse it was... hit the ball, drag Alice, hit the ball, drag Alice..."

Received from Randal Bird.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Another Month Ends

Entry in Weekly Schedule, New Zealand Symphony Orchestra:

Another Month Ends

* All Targets Met
* All Systems Working
* All Customers Satisfied
* All Staff Eager and Enthusiastic
* All Pigs Fed and Ready to Fly

Received from Dan Galvin.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] School Zone

An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar speed checking equipment, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when suddenly the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his car and license plate.

The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again; even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same result. So, he made a note to himself to contact the traffic department and tell them that their machine wasn't working properly.

A few weeks later, the off-duty police officer received an envelope from the police department containing three traffic citations, each of them were for NOT wearing a seat belt.

Received from Thomas S. Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Rate this funny at http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
To print or email this funny to others, go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php
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35 reasons men are happier than women

1. We keep our last name.
2. The garage is all ours.
3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
4. Chocolate is just another snack.
5. We can be president.
6. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
7. Car mechanics tell us the truth.
8. The world is our urinal.
9. We never have to drive to another gas station because this ones just too icky.
10. Same work, more pay.
11. Wrinkles add character.
12. Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
13. People never stare at our chest when were talking to them.
14. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
15. New shoes dont cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
16. One mood, ALL the time.
17. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
18. We know stuff about tanks.
19. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
20. We can open all our own jars.
21. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
22. If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.
23. Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
24. Everything on our face stays its original color.
25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
26. We dont have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
27. We almost never have strap problems in public
28. We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
29. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
30. We dont have to shave below our neck.
31. Our belly usually hides our big hips.
32. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
33. We can do our nails with a pocket-knife.
34. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
35. We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes

Thanks to Waneta Reardon
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Noah in 2006

In the year 2006, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.

Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark.

"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark! in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.

Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.

They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.

Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work.

The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark."

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."

Thanks to Waneta Reardon
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Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.

*Red, White and Blue*

A Dutchman was explaining the red, white, and blue Netherlands flag to an American.

"Our flag is symbolic of our taxes. We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bills, and blue after we pay them."

The American nodded. "It's the same in the USA only we see stars too!"

(-:][:-)

*Drum Sounds*

A researcher arrives in Borneo to gather data for his thesis. Accompanied by his trusty guide, he seeks out a very remote locale for researching the behavior of the giant rat of Sumatra.

Around dusk of the first day, he's sitting by the campfire with his guide when in the distance, he hears tribal drums. They get louder. The guide announces, "I don't like the sound of those drums."

The dusk turns evening. The drums get louder. The guide says, "I really don't like the sound of those drums."

Evening turns to dead of night. The drums get louder and louder, until it is obvious that the drummers must be quite close. The guide says again, "I really don't like the sound of those drums."

Suddenly the drums stop, and a voice from the darkness cries out,

"Hey man, he's not our regular drummer!"

(-:][:-)

*Lost Bid*

Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously when the auctioneer suddenly announced,

"A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing $10,000. If it is returned, he will pay a reward of $2,000."

There was a moment's silence, and then from the back of the room came the cry,

"Two thousand five hundred!"

(-:][:-)

*No Rest*

The doctor had just been buried. The last words of the service over, his friends and family started toward their cars.

However, they stopped because a strange, eerie sound suddenly was heard from the grave.

As the guests looked around, a colleague of the deceased said, "It's nothing... just his beeper."

(-:][:-)

*Five Steps to a Healthy Diet*

The Federal Drug and Food Administration is planning to issue a guide for proper eating that advises you to:

A. List your ten favorite foods.
B. List your five favorite beverages.
C. List all green vegetables that look like marsh grass, fur balls, or little trees.
D. List water.
E. Avoid A & B; eat only C; drink only D.

(-:][:-)

Eye Laugh

"Bring a Friend"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw247

"Cat Draft"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw246

"Restaurant Sign"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw245

"Tired of Work?"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw244

"Handyman Psalm"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw232

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/notable01_06b.html#06_26_06 - - New Yawkers Are Polite ... So There! "I'm a proud New Yorker, so I was pleased (and unsurprised) to read that a Reader's Digest poll ranks New York 'the most courteous major city in the world.'..."
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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Social Psychology Network - - http://www.socialpsychology.org/ - - Welcome to Social Psychology Network, the largest social psychology database on the Internet. In these pages, you'll find more than 11,000 links related to psychology.
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Einstein Light: A Brief Illumination of Relativity - - http://www.phys.unsw.edu.au/einsteinlight/ - - Einstein's theory of relativity integrates electromagnetism into a logical extension of the relativity of Galileo and Newton. Its conclusions, including time dilation, length contraction, and E=mc2 have changed profoundly our ideas of time and space, matter and energy. These multimedia modules give a brief overview of relativity - they present the main ideas.
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OptOutPrescreen.com - - https://www.optoutprescreen.com/?rf=t - - Under the Fair Credit Reporting Act (FCRA), the Consumer Credit Reporting Companies, are permitted to include your name on lists used by creditors or insurers to make firm offers of credit or insurance. The FCRA also provides you the right to "Opt-Out", which prevents Consumer Credit Reporting Companies from providing your credit file information for firm offers of credit or insurance that are not initiated by you.
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Resources for Learning - - http://www.amnh.org/education/resources/index.php - - Resources for Learning, a site from the American Museum of Natural History, is a collection of activities, articles, evidence and analysis and more, for educators, families, students and anyone interested in teaching or learning about science. There are over 900 resources to choose from.
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StateMaster.com - - http://www.statemaster.com/ - - This site is a unique statistical database which allows you to research and compare a multitude of different data on US states. Site has compiled information from various primary sources such as the US Census Bureau, the FBI, and the National Center for Educational Statistics. More than just a mere collection of various data, StateMaster.com goes beyond the numbers to provide you with visualization technology like pie charts, maps, graphs and scatterplots as well as thousands of map and flag images, state profiles, and correlations.
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National Sleep Foundation - - http://www.sleepfoundation.org/ - - The National Sleep Foundation is dedicated to improving public health and safety by achieving understanding of sleep and sleep disorders, and by supporting sleep-related education, research, and advocacy.
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MapMachine - - http://plasma.nationalgeographic.com/mapmachine/ - - National Geographic's redesigned online atlas gives you the world - your way. Find nearly any place on Earth, and view it by population, climate, and much more. Plus, browse antique maps, find country facts, or plan your next outdoor adventure with our trail maps.
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------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
June 2, 2006
Prepared by Hal Lancon, BRT employee
Lawn and Garden Safety Tips

Signs of spring are everywhere! And that means it's time to start mowing your lawn again. Before you get the lawn mover out of the garage, take a few moments to review some mower safety tips.
 Fill your gas tank before you start, while the engine is still cold. Wipe up all spills. And never smoke near gasoline.
 Clear the area of rocks, branches, wires, and other objects.
 Dress properly. Slippery shoes and loose or dangling clothing can be dangerous. Eye protection is also important.
 Don't allow children near the mower; you'll prevent the possibility of their getting injured by flying objects.
 Keep your hands and feet away from mower's blades. Never reach under the mower for any reason while the mower is in operation. Make all adjustments with the motor off.
 Drink plenty of liquids and take occasional breaks while mowing on unseasonably hot days to help avoid heat illness.

Check with your site safety officer to get “take home” personal protective equipment

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
June 2, 2006
Prevent Choking in Children
http://www.homesafetycouncil.org/index.aspx

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
June 1, 2006
What's In Your Pocket?
Today's Message is from Bruce Compton (a Houston Albemarle employee)

On-Plant Health Walks Aren't New:

So long ago that only about three folks still working here will remember, #1246 I.E. Rouse, Jr. ended his daily walk at the Ethyl Dock. When found - his hand was through the fence where he had been trying to reach the phone box. Mr. Rouse was walking alone and had no way of calling for help other than to reach that phone. He died!

More recently we had an EMS call from a citizen in my town who happened up on a walker laying in the grass having a heart attack. The victim had no cell phone with her and couldn't get help. She died!

THINK ABOUT IT......What's in your pocket?

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
May 31, 2006
Stay Alert
Today's Message is from Stuart Turnbull (a Houston Albemarle employee).

For over ten years now this manufacturing site has been unique in that we share the facility with other companies. Unfortunately, this increases the number of employees and contractors that come and go throughout the year. It becomes more and more difficult to recognize fellow employees.

>From a safety standpoint this could create a problem anywhere on this site. Of course if you see someone in an operating area that you cannot identify, let someone in supervision know. This is for your own safety, as well as for the safety of the visitor. But the same holds true anywhere on site. If you see activity that is out of the ordinary off the main roadways, or even in the parking lot, let Security know.

Last week an individual was observed trying to enter a neighboring facility through a small opening in the perimeter fence. When apprehended, the individual turned out to be a news reporter trying to sneak into the plant to write an article on chemical plant security or the lack of. What the individual failed to realize is that he could be placing himself or others in an unsafe condition simply by being in an unauthorized area.

So, stay alert. Observe not only your surroundings, but who is in those surroundings. Can you identify them? Observe their actions and report any unusual activity to Security. Sometimes it is the simplest of actions that can result in a safer work environment for everyone.

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
May 30, 2006
Today's Message is from Todd Dubose (a Houston Albemarle employee).

Summer is upon us and with that comes the Swimming season, especially for those with children. The following pool and spa guidelines should help keep it safe & fun for all......

According to The State of Home Safety in America™ report, drowning is the fifth leading cause of unintentional injury related death. Drowning is a silent and sudden event, and Home Safety Council research found that many drowning deaths at home are related to swimming pools. Since drowning victims often do not make any noise once in distress, constant supervision around any body of water is critical. Adopt the following guidelines from the Home Safety Council to help keep your pool area safe:

Install four-sided fencing with self-locking and self-closing gates. Fencing should completely isolate the pool from the home and be least five feet high.
Always keep gates closed and latched. Never prop a gate open or disable the lock.
Always practice constant, adult supervision around any body of water, including pools and spas. Never leave your child alone or in the care of another child.
When hosting a pool party, assign specific adults to keep an eye on the pool at all times.
Enroll non-swimmers in swimming lessons taught by a qualified instructor.
Remember that regardless of age or skill level, no one is “drown proof.” Children should always be supervised by an adult while they are swimming.
Never swim alone. Even adults should swim with a buddy.
Learn and practice basic lifesaving techniques, including First Aid and CPR. Insist that anyone who cares for your children learn CPR.
Keep poolside rescue equipment and a cordless, water resistant telephone close to the pool area.
Post emergency numbers and CPR instructions near the pool area.
Teach children that drains, grates and filters are not toys. Never stick fingers or toes in these openings and stay away from suction devices.
Always remove toys from the pool area when not in use.
Post safety rules in a highly visible location. Make sure children are familiar with the rules.
Keep spas and hot tubs covered and locked when not in use.
Completely remove pool and spa covers prior to swimming.
Stay out of the pool during severe weather and thunderstorms, especially if lightning is forecast or present.
If a child is missing, check the pool area first.
You can go to the following web page for many more home safety topics:
http://www.homesafetycouncil.org/safety%5Fguide/safetyguide.aspx
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ. www.mcc2000.net
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Brenda was almost halfway to the top of the tremendous granite cliff. She was standing on a ledge where she was taking a breather during this, her first rock climb. As she rested there, the safety rope snapped against her eye and knocked out her contact lens. "Great", she thought. "Here I am on a rock ledge, hundreds of feet from the bottom and hundreds of feet to the top of this cliff, and now my sight is blurry."

She looked and looked, hoping that somehow it had landed on the ledge. But it just wasn't there.

She felt the panic rising in her, so she began praying. She prayed for calm, and she prayed that she may find her contact lens.

When she got to the top, a friend examined her eye and her clothing for the lens, but it was not to be found. Although she was calm now that she was at the top, she was saddened because she could not clearly see across the range of mountains. She thought of the bible verse "The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth."

She thought, "Lord, You can see all these mountains. You know every stone and leaf, and You know exactly where my contact lens is. Please help me."

Later, when they had hiked down the trail to the bottom of the cliff they met another party of climbers just starting up the face of the cliff. One of them shouted out, "Hey, you guys! Anybody lose a contact lens?"

Well, that would be startling enough, but you know why the climber saw it? An ant was moving slowly across a twig on the face of the rock, carrying it!

The story doesn't end there. Brenda's father is a cartoonist. When she told him the incredible story of the ant, the prayer, and the contact lens, he drew a cartoon of an ant lugging that contact lens with the caption, "Lord, I don't know why You want me to carry this thing. I can't eat it, and it's awfully heavy. But if this is what You want me to do, I'll carry it for You."

I think it would do all of us some good to say, "God, I don't know why You want me to carry this load. I can see no good in it and it's awfully heavy. But, if You want me to carry it, I will."

God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

Yes, I do love GOD. He is my source of existence and my Savior. He keeps me functioning
each and every day. Without Him, I am nothing, but with Him....I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. (Phil. 4:13)

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5 & 6

Thanks to Eric Morrison
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Ten Guidelines Grom God

Effective Immediately,
please be aware that there are changes YOU need to make in YOUR life. These changes need to be completed in order that I may fulfill My promises to you to grant you peace, joy and happiness in this life. I apologize for any inconvenience, but after all that I am doing, this seems very little to ask of you. Please, follow these 10 guidelines

1. QUIT WORRYING:
Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens and carry them for you? Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little thing that comes your way?
2. PUT IT ON THE LIST:
Something needs done or taken care of. Put it on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY to-do-list. Let ME be the one to take care of the problem. I can't help you until you turn it over to Me. And although My to-do-list is long, I am after all... God. I can take care of anything you put in! to My hands. In fact, if the truth were ever really known, I take care of a lot of things for you that you never even realize.
3. TRUST ME:
Once you've given your burdens to Me, quit trying to take them back. Trust in Me. Have the faith that I will take care of all your needs, your problems and your trials. Problems with the kids? Put them on My list. Problem with finances? Put it on My list. Problems with your emotional roller coaster? For My sake, put it on My list. I want to help you. All you have to do is ask.
4. LEAVE IT ALONE:
Don't wake up one morning and say, "Well, I'm feeling much stronger now, I think I can handle it from here." Why do you think you are feeling stronger now? It's simple. You gave Me your burdens and I'm taking care of them. I also renew your strength and cover you in my peace. Don't you know that if I give you these problems back, you will be right back where you started? Leave them with Me and forget about them. Just let Me do my job.
5. TALK TO ME:
I want you to forget a lot of things. Forget what was making you crazy. Forget the worry and the fretting because you know ! I'm in control. But there's one thing I pray you never forget. Plea se, don't forget to talk to Me - OFTEN! I love YOU! I want to hear your voice. I want you to include Me in on the things going on in your life. I want to hear you talk about your friends and family. Prayer is simply you having a conversation with Me. I want to be your dearest friend.
6. HAVE FAITH:
I see a lot of things from up here that you can't see from where you are. Have faith in Me that I know what I'm doing. Trust Me; you wouldn't want the view from My eyes. I wil! l continue to care for you, watch over you, and meet your needs. You only have to trust Me. Although I have a much bigger task than you, it seems as if you have so much trouble just doing your simple part. How hard can trust be?
7. SHARE:
You were taught to share when you were only two years old. When did you forget? That rule still applies. Share with those who are less fortunate than you. Share your joy with those who need encouragement. Share your laughter with those who haven't heard any in such a long time. Share your tears with those who have forgotten how to cry. Share your faith with those who have none.
8. BE PATIENT:
I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime you could have so many diverse experiences. You grow from a child to an adult, have children, change jobs many times, learn many trades, travel to so many places, meet thousands of people, and experience so much. How can you be so impatient then when it takes Me a little longer than you expect to handle something on My to-do-list? Trust in My timing, for My timing is perfect. Just because I created the entire universe in only six days, everyone thinks I should always rush, rush, rush.
9. BE KIND:
Be kind to! others, for I love them just as much as I love you. They may not dress like you, or talk like you, or live the same way you do, but I still love you all. Please try to get along, for My sake. I created each of you different in some way. It would be too boring if you were all identical. Please, know I love each of your differences.
10. LOVE YOURSELF:
As much as I love you, how can you not love yourself? You were created by me for one reason only -- to be loved, and to love in return. I am a God of Love. Love Me. Love your neighbors. But also love yourself. It makes My heart ache when I see you so angry with yourself when things go wrong. You are very precious to me. Don't ever forget......

Touch someone with your love. Rather than focus upon the thorns of life, smell the roses and count your blessings!

"I CAN be changed by what happens to me... I REFUSE to be reduced by it." -Maya Angelou

Thanks to Quinton Riggins
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Bye-Bye Bar Codes

RFID technology was used in World War II and is just now coming to the consumer market. Digital Spread Spectrum technology was also a technology used in World War II that came out in consumer cordless phones around 1998.
The NSA has been tracking your phone calls for 40 years, get over it.
The things government does we will not about for many years. You are being watched and you are being tracked; don't call an Arab country and you are okay!

-----------The article-----------
Did Expert Slip & Tell It Like It Will Be? - Bye-Bye Bar Codes, Hello RFID - Evansville Courier & Press (Excerpt)
The Department of Defense and Wal-Mart have required suppliers to begin using RFID in their shipments. Those requirements mean RFID is poised to continue to grow in popularity, Mochau said. The technology, which traces its roots to World War II, is also becoming less costly.
While most RFID applications are used for distribution operations, there are also consumer uses. Some common applications include security tags placed on retail goods such as clothing, and express lane passes placed on vehicles allowing drivers to zoom through toll plazas without stopping.
The Food and Drug Administration has also approved an RFID chip that can be implanted in people. The chip could be used to convey medical information to emergency doctors.
"So watch out," Prasad writes. "With the advent of the implantable chip, the day may not be very far when you get tagged ... as the final link in the supply chain."

Thanks to Jason Sands
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Activities and Events of Interest
~~~
Albemarle Kids' Fishing Tournament - June 3
~~~
The Purple Hull Pea Festival is scheduled for June 23 and 24
~~~
The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Baghdad, Iraq, on May 25, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their HMMWV during combat operations. Both soldiers were assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 6th Infantry, 2nd Brigade, 1st Armored Division, Baumholder, Germany. Killed were:
01. Capt. Douglas A. Dicenzo, 30, of Plymouth, N.H.
02. Spc. Robert E. Blair, 22, of Ocala, Fla.

03. Cpl. J. Adan Garcia, 20, of Irving, Texas, died on May 27 in the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Md., of injuries sustained May 22 in Baghdad, Iraq, when his convoy encountered small arms fire received while returning from an explosive ordnance mission. Garcia was assigned to the 1st Brigade Special Troops Battalion, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry), Fort Drum, N.Y.

04. Cpl. Jeremy M. Loveless, 25, of Estacada, Ore., died in Mosul, Iraq on May 29, when his Stryker came under enemy small arms fire during combat operations. Loveless was assigned to the Army's 2nd Battalion, 1st Infantry Regiment, 172nd Stryker Brigade Combat Team, Fort Wainwright, Alaska.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
05. Cpl. Richard A. Bennett, 25, of Girard, Kan.
06. Capt. Nathanael J. Doring, 31, of Apple Valley, Minn.
Both died May 30, following a non-hostile helicopter accident near Al Taqaddum, Iraq, on May 27. Both were assigned to Marine Light/Attack Helicopter Squadron-169, Marine Aircraft Group-39, 3rd Marine Aircraft Wing, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

07. Sgt. Benjamin E. Mejia, 25, of Salem, Mass., died in Marez, Iraq, on May 31, of non-combat related causes. Mejia was assigned to the 4th Squadron, 14th Cavalry Regiment, 172nd Stryker Brigade Combat Team, Fort Wainwright, Alaska.

08. Spc. Brock L. Bucklin, 28, of Grand Rapids, Mich., died May 31, in Balad, Iraq, of a non-combat related cause. Bucklin was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 68th Armor Regiment, 3rd Heavy Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Carson, Colo.

http://icasualties.org/oif/default.aspx
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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Scheduled Activities
~~~
Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 8 p.m. Monday - Friday. At noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and at 7 p.m. Sunday at 914 N. Vine
~~~
Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
~~~
Columbia County Diabetes Support Group - Every third Monday, 7:00 p.m. room 222, Magnolia Hospital
~~~
"Focus on the Family" with Dr. James Dobson weekday afternoons at 1 PM on KVMA am 630 it's a great show!
~~~
MCC - Abraham Prayer - Sunday at 5:00 p.m and Wednesday from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm
~~~
MCC - "Beth Moore" Video Class - Thursday nights at 5:45 pm
~~~
MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
~~~
MCC - Firm Foundations Class, Sunday 9:30 to 10:15 a.m
~~~
MCC - Meadow Brook Nursing Home Ministry Tuesday from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m
~~~
MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
~~~
MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
~~~
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
~~~
Narcotics Anonymous 5-6 pm every Monday at 220 Pine street.
~~~
TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) 5 pm every Tuesday in the Magnolia Hospital break room.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Mat 5:14-16 Mat 11:28-30 1 John 3:11-13 Isa 49:13-16 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. For the "Blog" version just go to http://bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com/ to see the latest issue. We also have a site [http://bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com/] where we post photos that I like.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. Of course "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com to see the latest issue (usually updated sometime Friday evening or Saturday morning. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2006 before it was sent.
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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Finest Equipment

2nd Qtr Albemarle Guys at ESTI
Our guys on board ship
Handling the rail car rack 

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Finest Equipment

Kelly Davidson and Annette
Gizmo
Ronnie and Barbra Daniels
Terry and Leslie Walthall 

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Finest Equipment

Volume 8, Issue 21 Friday, May 26, 2006

Hello All,

I was at Shiloh Cemetery and noticed a tombstone dated June 6, 1944. Reading further, they young man was a PFC in the 82 airborne. So one of Columbia County’s own died on D-Day.
Kind of brings it home, doesn’t it.
Since I was at a funeral, I asked the director how this young man ended up at Shiloh Cemetery. He told me that some families paid to have their loved ones brought back to the states for burial.
~~~~~
This was sent to me by Tom of the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/
“It's just a few thoughts about a holiday which is special to me. It's one of those few times when I share something serious instead of humorous. -Tom”
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GCF: Memorial Day 2006

The joke for today has been sent. I want to be serious for a moment and talk about the holiday, which will be celebrated here in the United States on Monday.

Memorial Day is on the last Monday in May and honors those men and women who lost their lives serving their country. What we celebrate as Memorial Day today began at the end of the Civil War. Family members of the many soldiers slain in battle would visit the gravesites of their fallen relatives or friends and decorate the graves with flowers.

On May 5, 1868, General John Logan proclaimed this day a holiday through his General Order No. 11. The day was entitled Decoration Day and was first observed on May 30, 1868. The northern states celebrated this day every year, but the southern states celebrated a day similar to this on a different day until sometime after World War I.

In 1882, the name Decoration day was changed to Memorial Day, and in 1971, Memorial Day was declared a national holiday to be held on the last Monday of May every year. Over the years it has come to serve as a day to remember all U.S. men and women killed or missing in action in all wars.

I am truly grateful for the freedoms, which we enjoy today. Too often, we take these gifts for granted, little realizing the sacrifice, which was involved in ensuring that these freedoms continue to be a part of all of our lives. Be honest, how many of us think of Memorial Day as just another chance for a three-day weekend? A chance to go the lakes or beaches or mountains? A trip to Disneyland or Six Flags or some other amusement park?

If you are here in the United States, please remember to display the flag, not just for the day but also for the whole weekend. Let's not forget the real reason for having this holiday. The quote below says it all. Please take the time to read it.

Take care everyone.
Tom (HM2, USN 65-69)
------------------------------------------------

"It is, in a way, an odd thing to honor those who died in defense of our country in wars far away. The imagination plays a trick. We see these soldiers in our mind as old and wise. We see them as something like the Founding Fathers, grave and gray-haired. But most of them were boys when they died, they gave up two lives -- the one they were living and the one they would have lived. When they died, they gave up their chance to be husbands and fathers and grandfathers. They gave up their chance to be revered old men. They gave up everything for their county, for us. All we can do is remember."

-- Ronald Wilson Reagan
Remarks at Veteran's Day ceremony, Arlington National Cemetery
Arlington, Virginia, November 11, 1985

----------------------------------------------------
A final thought.....

Over the years the meaning of Memorial Day has faded too much from the public consciousness. From a solemn day of mourning, remembrance, and honor to the men and women who died in providing the freedoms we enjoy, it has been reduced to a weekend of BBQ's, shopping bargains and beaches where only token nods toward our honored dead is given, if at all. Too many don't know what the day stands for.

So, let's not forget those who made the ultimate sacrifice. They are remembered in all our prayers. Also, let's not forget a prayer for the safety of all service men and women, whether they serve at home or overseas. Finally, a heartfelt Semper Fi from this Hospital Corpsman is sent to all the Marines I knew. -Tom
~~~~~
Recent events got us thinking and talking about “Seniors” and that reminded me of “Checkers, Dominos and the Pool hall.” In my youth, the second story porch of the county courthouse was the center of the summer checker’s tournament. As soon as the weather began to warm, you’d see the older guys up there playing checkers every day. They had some simple tables with a glass-covered checkerboard on top and sat in hard backed “Ford” rockers. The play continued each year until it became too cold to play outside.
After checker play ceased, these fellows often moved into the local “Pool Hall” and played Dominos. One of my most vivid memories is watching my dad and aunt Leara play Dominos with other family members at her café in Cotton Valley.
Since kids weren’t allowed in the “Pool Hall”, my memories are limited to short glimpses through the door as someone went in or out while we were passing by. But I do remember it was a smoky place that we weren’t supposed to go near.
~~~~~
Here’s another Taylor family story.

“Uncle Bob Rides The Train” Like we did in our time, the Taylor kids played around the rail yard in Taylor, even though they, like us, were strictly forbidden to do so. One day, they were climbing around on an open “gondola” car, the kind you’d haul coal or some other coarse material in when little Bob fell into the empty car.
He wasn’t hurt but the sides were too high for him to get out. The other kids gathered to come up with a plan to free him when the local coupled onto the car and started pulling out of the yard.
His siblings couldn’t figure out how to get him out of a moving rail car, nor how they could get the train to stop so they went home and pretended they didn’t know where he was. In the meantime, the train continued north where Bob was eventually discovered by a railroad cop in Hope.
Bob was pulled out of the car and run out of the yard. Not knowing anyone in Hope, Bob started walking the 45 miles home. With the help of a couple of rides, the little fellow got home about sunrise the next morning.
Grandmother was beside herself with worry and asked him where he’d been. He told her he’d been playing in the rail yard, got trapped in a car, carried to Hope, thrown out of the rail yard and had been walking home all night.
She whipped him for lying and refusing to tell her where he’d really been.

“Wrecking the train.” After Bob’s experience, the kids started plotting how they could get revenge by wrecking the train as it came though Taylor. They finally settled on piling rocks on the track and executed this plan one evening. After setting the trap, they lay down in the ditch beside the rail to watch the show.
Fortunately (or unfortunately) the first thing down the track wasn’t the train, but an inspection cart. These small vehicles were six or eight feet square, some operated with a hand pump. [By our time, these carts had a small gasoline engine on them and a bench across the front where the men set. In poor weather they often mounted a cab made of a steel frame covered with canvas. Today, the same purpose is filled by work trucks with a set of rail wheels allowing them to be driven on the rails.] As the cart sailed down the track, it encountered the rocks and was thrown off the rail, as were its occupants.
Seeing the men flying though the air, the kids jumped up and ran home, which was a block west of the railroad. Problem was, the men were able to watch the kids run down the block and into the Taylor home. So after brushing off, the men came to the Taylor home and spoke to the kid’s parents. My mother said it nearly wore her mother out, whipping all those kids that evening.

And this weeks Charlie, Dinah Sue, and James Fort story;

"Silence Vassals" One day, we (Dinah Sue) decided that we’d play Royalty. She’d be the queen and Charlie and I would be the servants. Things went pretty well, with Dinah Sue giving us various orders until she picked up the kids teacup off the table in the living room. As she started to sip from it both Charlie and I tried to tell her it wasn’t clean. However, she was in full character and shut us up with a withering glance and the words “Silence Vassals.”
So we let her sip from the cup that had been used as an ashtray by the adults that day.
~~~~~
We recommend this column by Charles Krauthammer, a 1987 Pulitzer Prize winner, 1984 National Magazine Award winner, and a columnist for The Washington Post since 1985: http://www.townhall.com/opinion/columns/charleskrauthammer/2006/06/23/202345.html
Thanks to Barry Brownlee
~~~~~
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it". For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50". The next day someone stole it.
Caution .... They Walk Among Us ..

Thanks to David Lamb
~~~~~
TWENTY THINGS TO REMEMBER

1. Faith is the ability to not panic.

2. If you worry, you didn't pray. If you pray, don't worry.

3. As a child of God, prayer is kinda like calling home every day.

4. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.

5. When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so He can untangle the knot.

6. Do the math. Count your blessings.

7. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.

8. Dear God: I have a problem. It's me.

9. Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.

10. Laugh every day... it's like inner jogging.

11. The most important things in your home are the people.

12. Growing old is inevitable; growing up is optional.

13. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.

14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.

15. He who dies with the most toys is still dead.

16. We do not remember days, but moments. Life moves too fast, so enjoy your precious moments.

17. Nothing is real to you until you experience it. Otherwise, it's just hearsay.

18. It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are done.

19. Surviving and living your life successfully requires courage. The goals and dreams you're seeking require courage and risk-taking. Learn from the turtle -- it only makes progress when it sticks out its neck.

20. Be more concerned with your character than your reputation. Your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.

-- Author Unknown

Thanks to David Lamb
~~~~~
Congratulations to Justin and Adria Miles
Hannah Elisabeth Miles was born Friday, May 19. She weighed 7 lb. 11 ½ oz. and is 20" long. Hannah and her mom, Adria, are doing great and big brother, Joshua, is excited!
~~~~~
Bad Day At Work?

Next time you have a bad day at work ... think of this guy, Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
~~~

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.

This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.

This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my posterior started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.

Within a few seconds my posterior started to burn I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.

However, my posterior was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my posterior. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.

His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive.

I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my posterior as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my posterior was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish on your posterior.

Now repeat to yourself,

"I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, Is this a jellyfish bad day?
~~~~~
From Paul in Tanzania

Hope this letter finds you all doing well. We have had a great start with 50 leaders from all over Tanzania, one student from Malawi, and two from Zanzibar.

Yesterday seventeen students were filled with the holy spirit. It was a Glorious time in the lord. We have many who have had very little teaching And it is a ripe atmosphere that the holy spirit finds irresistible. We Have also had great times of spontaneous prayer and they are learning how To flow with god. What a blessing to be living in these last days even though there are trials.

A few weeks ago a preacher in Nairobi was preaching and comparing the bible With the Koran on the radio when eight disguised men broke into the Station, killed the man and burned the building to the ground. As yet no Arrest has been made. The spirit of violent Islam is spreading and at the same time the spirit of the lord is raising up a great army. Nairobi is only four hours north of Arusha.

Right now the rains have subsided but for three weeks I was not able to use my road. Electricity has been off for a few months but is coming back on now. I very nearly slid off a small cliff because my dashboard light Showed that my four-wheel drive was locked in but my tires gave a different Story. Hamna Shida (no problem ) the Lord is helping me. I am also continuing to progress in learning the language.

I thank you all for your prayers and your support without which we could Not be here.

Looking forward to hearing from you all,

Blessings,
Paul

P.S.- I will be back in the U.S. the month of August and the first part of September
~~~~~
The photos on the front of this weeks “Bleat” include Ronnie and Barbra Daniels, Terry and Leslie Walthall, Kelley Davidson, Annette and Gizmo.
~~~~~
God's Yellow Pages http://web2.airmail.net/dpelc/yellow/

I saved it as a favorite for future reference!

Thanks to Norma Kay Rowe
~~~~~
We extend our sympathy to the family of David Dawson, former employee, who died earlier this week.
~~~~~
Don’t forget to check out www.mcc2000.net
~~~~~
The next Albemarle Kids' Fishing Tournament will be Saturday June 3.
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleat3q.blogspot.com, and http://www.bugsbleat4q.blogspot.com. Our photos are now posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
www.aaa.com Regular
Current Avg. $ 2.75
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - We’re sharing recipes from Shannon Voigt’s new Taylor Recipe Book
Apple Enchiladas - Donna Gail Hanson

Ingredients:
2 cans crescent dinner rolls
2 cooking apples (Granny Smith) peeled, cored and cut into 8 slices each
2 sticks margarine
1 ½ cups granulated sugar
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 (12 oz) can Mountain Dew (not sugar free)

Method:
Place one apple slice on large end of each triangle of crescent dough. Roll up from large end to small. Place all rolled up slices in a 9x13 baking dish. In a saucepan, melt margarine. Mix with sugar and cinnamon. Pour sugar mixture over enchiladas. Pour Mountain Dew over all. Bake 45 minutes or until golden brown at 350º. Best served warm with ice cream.
~~~~~
We just want to say Thank You for all the help during this years serving line. The Blossom Festival could not be a success without people like you. I figure we served around 780 people, we did the majority in 34 minutes. Please pass on to your spouse's that we really do appreciate the work they do. I really want to thank Gary Sharp and family I didn't even have to think about getting the tea out. I want to thank the cookers for holding such great Steak's . And again we want to say Thanks and a great job done by all ....

Keith Burton / Steve Doggett
~~~~~
BreakPoint
With Chuck Colson
BreakPoint Commentaries
Criminal Justice America’s Prisoners
By Mark Earley
5/26/2006

Targets for Transformation

Note: This commentary was delivered by Prison Fellowship President Mark Earley.

Yesterday, I discussed how society, by way of our criminal justice system, has unintentionally waged a war on children of prisoners—children without a voice and with little hope of escaping the intergenerational cycle of crime.

Today I’d like to tell you of another group of people who have joined the ranks of the voiceless, the marginalized, and the forgotten: prisoners themselves.

Did you know that 2.3 million Americans spent last night behind prison walls? Did you know that the United States incarcerates more individuals per capita than any other industrialized country in the world? In fact, our incarceration rate is five times higher than the United Kingdom’s and six times higher than Canada’s. Yet we’re doing little or nothing to prepare prisoners to become law-abiding citizens: Nearly two-thirds of the 630,000 men and women released from prison this year will be rearrested within three years.

Before I came to Prison Fellowship, I couldn’t have cared less about prisoners. I believed only that they deserved their time and merited none of my sympathy. Today, I realize that, while we must uphold justice and the rule of law, we must also see prisoners as God sees them—valuable, purposeful, and loved.

Remarkably, God has reserved a special place in His kingdom for prisoners—the ones we have locked away and forgotten. He even equates visiting the prisoner with visiting the sick.

Jesus says in Matthew 25, “I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.”

What does this mean for us who follow Christ? It could mean taking a few minutes each week to write a letter to a prisoner. It could mean sacrificing an afternoon to visit an inmate without a family. It could mean praying with a prisoner who is struggling with loneliness. It could mean discipling prisoners behind bars and walking with them when they come out of prison.

When we reach out to prisoners in Christ’s love, I believe that we are participating in a great work that God is doing—because I believe God is raising up a new generation of leaders for the Church from behind prison walls.

Throughout history, God has raised up the vilest of criminals—men like the Apostle Paul, a co-conspirator in murder, and Moses, a murderer and a fugitive—to serve His kingdom, to be vessels of noble use.

I think of a man I have met and now count as a brother in Christ: Ron Gruber, an ex-leader of a notorious biker gang and a convicted murderer.

Ron had enemies inside prison and out, including a warden he had attacked years before. But because of Christ’s transforming power, Ron has repented. He has reconciled with the warden and others whom he had terrorized. And Ron now devotes his fifty-year prison sentence to preaching Christ and making disciples of other prisoners. What a stunning transformation!

Yes, we do need prisons to protect our communities from violent, dangerous criminals. As a former attorney general of Virginia, I know that. But we can never forget that we must see prisoners as God sees them: men and women for whom Christ died.

Oh, and there’s one other prisoner I forgot to mention. He was transformed by the grace of Christ: a man named Chuck Colson. I think you and I have heard that name somewhere before.

This is part eight in the “War on the Weak” series.

For Further Reading and Information

Please help support the Christian worldview ministries of BreakPoint and the Wilberforce Forum by donating online today or calling 1-877-322-5527.

Zoe Sandvig, “Amen and Amend,” InnerChange Freedom Initiative.

Learn more about the InnerChange Freedom Initiative.

Learn more about Justice Fellowship and how you can support its work.

BreakPoint Commentary No. 060525, “True Casualties: The Children of Prisoners.”

BreakPoint Commentary No. 060217, “A Fighting Chance: The Second Chance Act.”

BreakPoint Commentary No. 050829, “‘God Is Changing Me’: Street Saints.”

Charles Colson, Born Again (Chosen, 2004).

Charles Colson with Harold Fickett, The Good Life (Tyndale, 2005).

The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics.
© 2004-2006 Prison Fellowship
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
cognoscente: a person with special knowledge.
bombinate: to buzz, hum, or drone.
incontrovertible: indisputable; unquestionable.
protean: readily assuming different shapes or forms.
torpid: dull; sluggish; apathetic.
junta: a governmental council or committee, esp. one that rules after a revolution.
variegated: having marks or patches of different colors; also, varied.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"The sad truth is that excellence makes people nervous." - Shana Alexander

We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person." - William Somerset Maugham

"It is the heart that makes a man rich. He is rich according to what he is, not according to what he has. - Henry Ward Beecher

"Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day." - Albert Camus

"Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries." - James Michener

"Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment." - Benjamin Franklin

"To choose doubt as a philosophy of life is akin to choosing immobility as a means of transportation." - Yann Martel
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

Join with Iranian Christians in 40 Days of Prayer and Fasting for the Salvation of Iran - Beginning Thursday, May 25th
Jerry Dykstra / Aimee Herd reporting (May 24, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2551
"Pray that we will become united. If we were united, we could beat this regime. If we were united, we would not give in to satan, because the love of Christ would be central."

Governor Schwarzenegger Pledges to Veto California Homosexual Curriculum Bill SB 1437
News Staff / Aimee Herd reporting (May 25, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2555
"Now the Governor needs to pledge to veto the two remaining sexual indoctrination bills, AB 606 and AB 1056. Parents and grandparents are demanding it."

Soldier Gives His Purple Heart to N.Y. Student
AP Staff/Teresa Neumann Reporting (May 26, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2559
"The letters mean so much to us. So I thought this was a big way of giving something back to them."
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GCF: Finest Equipment

Emailed to me from another humor list (You Make Me Laugh) -Tom To subscribe to You Make Me Laugh, send a blank email to: SUBSCRIBE-laugh@lists.crosswalk.com

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/ Unsubscribe info for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2006 before it was sent.
------------------------------------------

Morris had been playing golf for years and he had the finest golfing equipment, but his technique never improved a bit.

As his friend watched, he teed up at the first hole and promptly drove a brand-new ball into the woods. On the second hole, he drove another new ball into a lake. On the third, he lost a new ball in another part of the woods.

"Why don't you use an old ball?" his friend Sam asked.

"I've never had an old ball," Morris said.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Pizza Coupon

Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day) -Tom To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to: martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

Dispatching her ten-year-old son to pick up a pizza, my sister handed him money and a two-dollar coupon. Later he came home with the pizza, and the coupon. When asked to explain, he replied, "Mom, I had enough money. I didn't need the coupon."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Pizza Delivery

Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day) -Tom To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to: martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

Security and peace of mind were part of the reason we moved to a gated community. Both flew out the window the night I called a local pizza shop for a delivery.

"I'd like to order a large pepperoni pizza, please," I said, then gave him the address of our condominium.

"We'll be there in about half an hour," the kid at the other end replied. "Your gate code is still 1238, right?"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Good Dentist?

Emailed to me another humor list (Good Clean Funnies List) -Tom To subscribe The Good Clean Funnies List, (not to be confused with this list, which is Good Clean Fun) send an email to: gcfl-request@gcfl.net with subject = add
------------------------------------------

A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr. Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning.

The other remarked that he too had gone to Dr. Taylor a few years before.

"Is that so?" the first said. "Did he do a good job?"

"Well, I was on the course yesterday when the fellow on the ninth hole hooked a shot," he said. "The ball must have been going 200 mph when it hit me in the stomach. That," he added, "was the first time in two years my teeth didn't hurt."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Bad Career Move

Emailed to me from another humor list (The Funnies) -Tom To subscribe to The Funnies, send a blank email to: andychaps_the-funnies-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
------------------------------------------

Once, I worked as an operator on an old IBM 370/Model 138 mainframe at a local college. My position had been reclassified so that it fell into a new area outside of the Information Technology staff.

One day, my new supervisor entered the room and stared at the air conditioning unit directly behind me. He studied the two flashing lights for a few moments and asked what job it was currently processing.

I killed my career by replying, "Actually, sir, it's cooling the room. The computer is over there."
_ ____________________________ _
____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Don't knock on Death's door. \ /
\ _/ Just ring the bell and run. \_ /
/ / He hates that. \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / \ /
\ _/ I always finish what I sta \_ /
/ / \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / A mainframe: The biggest \ /
\ _/ PC peripheral available. \_ /
/ / \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Golf was once a rich man's \ /
\ _/ sport, but now it has \_ /
/ / millions of poor players! \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I used to have an open mind, \ /
\ _/ but my brains kept falling out. \_ /
/ / \ _ ____________________________ _
Thomas S. Ellsworth
tellswor@slonet.org
http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor
____________________________
Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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[GCFL.net] Caddy Advice

Standing on the tee of a relatively long par three, a confident golfer said to his caddy, "Looks like a four-wood and a putt to me."

The caddy argued with him a bit and suggested that he instead play it safe and hit a four-iron then a wedge. The golfer was insulted and proceeded to scream and yell at the caddy on the tee, telling him that he was a better golfer than that, and how dare the caddy underestimate his game.

So, giving in, the caddy handed the gentleman the four-wood he had asked for. He proceeded to top the ball and watched as it rolled about fifteen yards off the front of the tee.

Immediately the caddy handed him his putter and said, "And now for one long putt..."

Received from Good Clean Fun.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Easy Eggs

One Sunday morning, while stationed at Osan Air Base in South Korea, I was in line for breakfast and noticed that the cook behind the counter looked kind of harassed. After I gave him my order, he asked me how I wanted my eggs.

Not wanting to burden him further, I said cheerfully, "Oh, whatever is easiest for you."

With that, he took two eggs, cracked them open onto my plate, and handed it back to me.

Received from Good Clean Fun.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Be Good

A mother was dropping her son off at a friend's house. She said to him, "Will you be good while Mommy's gone?"

The boy replied, "If you give me a dollar!"

His mother shook her head and said to him, "Why can't you be good for nothing like your father?!"

Received from Sarah C.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] The Good Grandmother

A Jewish grandma and her grandson are at the beach. He is playing in the water and she is standing on the shore not wanting to get her feet wet, when all of a sudden, a huge wave appears from nowhere and crashes directly onto the spot where the boy is wading.

The water recedes and the boy is no longer there. Swept away.

She raises her hands to the sky as she screams and cries, "Lord, how could you? Haven't I been a wonderful grandmother? Haven't I been a wonderful mother? Haven't I kept a kosher home? Haven't I given to B'nai B'rith? Haven't I given to Hadassah? Haven't I lit candles every Friday night? Haven't I tried my very best to live a life that you would be proud of?"

A voice booms from the sky, "Okay, okay!"

A few minutes later, another huge wave appears out of nowhere and crashes on the beach. As the water recedes, the boy is standing there, smiling and splashing around as if nothing had ever happened.

The voice booms again. "I have returned your grandson. Are you satisfied?"

She responds, "He had a hat."

Received from Lisa Fisch.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Goodbye Mother!

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around.

Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.

"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who just died recently."

"I'm very sorry," replied the young man. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes," she said. "As I'm leaving, can you say, 'Goodbye, Mother'? It would make me feel so much better."

"Sure," answered the young man. As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye, Mother!" As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50.

"How can that be?" he asked. "I only purchased a few things!"

"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk.

Received from Jackie Mulholland.

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Rate this funny at http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
To print or email this funny to others, go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php
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Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.

*Stone's Throw*

A vacationer e-mailed a seaside hotel to ask its location.

"It's only a stone's throw away from the beach," he was told.

"But how will I recognize it?" asked the man.

Back came the reply: "It's the one with all the broken windows."

(-:][:-)

*Passing Pain*

An elderly couple are both lying in bed one morning, having just awaken from a good night's sleep.

He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't touch me."

"Why not," he asks. She answers back, "Because I'm dead."

The husband says to her, "What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and talking to one another."

The wife says, "No, I'm definitely dead."

Her husband insists, "You're not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?"

His wife answers, "I know I'm dead, because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts!"

(-:][:-)

*Three Times Seven*

Rick, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about him and his education, but then asked him, "What is three times seven?"

"22," Rick replied. After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator (he *knew* he should have taken it to the interview!) and realized he wouldn't get the job.

About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was hired for the job! He was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but was still very curious. The next day, he went in and asked why he got the job, even though he got such a simple question wrong.

The boss shrugged and said, "Well, you were the closest."

(-:][:-)

*White Hairs*

One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair.

She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then asked, "Momma, how come all of grandma's hairs are white?"

Eye Laugh

"Sheep Weave"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=29

"Know the Words"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=27

"Sitting Sign"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=26

"Church Concentrate"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=25

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/notable01_06b.html#05_24_06 - - Tabloid Times "It's only May 2006, and the New York Times is already doing trashy, tabloid-style coverage of the Clintons. What's the matter, New York Times? You didn't have a juicy Iran-war-inducing story to plant on your cover page? ..."
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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Memorial Day - Monday, May 29, 2006 - - http://www.infoplease.com/spot/memorialday1.html - - Memorial Day originated in 1868, when Union General John A. Logan designated a day in which the graves of Civil War soldiers would be decorated. Known as Decoration Day, the holiday was changed to Memorial Day within twenty years, becoming a holiday dedicated to the memory of all war dead. It became a federal holiday in 1971, and is now observed on the last Monday in May. Related site: Faces of the Fallen. - - http://projects.washingtonpost.com/fallen/
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All-time 100 Best Novels - - http://www.time.com/time/2005/100books/the_complete_list.html - - Time critics Lev Grossman and Richard Lacayo pick the 100 best English-language novels from 1923 to the present.
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HealthRatings.org - - http://www.healthratings.org/ - - A joint venture of Consumer Reports WebWatch and the Health Improvement Institute, this site helps you to make critical choices about your health information sources on the Web. The top 20 health information sites are listed according to specific and detailed criteria.
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LiveScience.com - - http://livescience.com/ - - LiveScience is an original content site focusing on the innovative and intriguing in Science and Technology. Aimed at the intellectually curious, it covers news, views and scientific inquiry with an original, provocative point of view. With articles by respected science journalists and contributors, LiveScience looks at new discoveries, intellectual adventures and the idiosyncrasies of the world that surrounds us.
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Open Directory Project - - http://www.dmoz.org/ - - The Open Directory Project is the largest, most comprehensive human-edited directory of the Web. It is constructed and maintained by a vast, global community of volunteer editors.
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MapMachine: Civil War Edition - - http://java.nationalgeographic.com/maps/civilwar/ - - A special by the National Geographic MapMachine project. This site allows you to explore an interactive map of over 5,200 U.S. Civil War battlefields and historic sites. You can get detailed desriptions of 384 major battlefields and view the 25 sites most in danger of being lost.
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Probation and Parole in the United States, 2004 - - http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/abstract/ppus04.htm - - During 2004 the total Federal, State, and local adult correctional population - incarcerated or in the community - grew to nearly 7 million. This bulletin by the U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics reports the number of persons on probation and parole, by State, at yearend 2004 and compares the totals with yearend 1995 and 2000. It lists the States with the largest and smallest parole and probation populations and the largest and smallest rates of community supervision, and identifies the States with the largest increases.
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Human Anatomy Online - - http://www.innerbody.com/htm/body.html - - Welcome to inner exploration of Human Anatomy. Each topic has animations, 100's of graphics, and thousands of descriptive links. Study the anatomy of the human body. It's fun, interactive, and an ideal reference site for students or those who just want to know more about the medical descriptions used by doctors and nurses.
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------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
The 101 Deadliest Days on the Road

More than 7 million drivers involved in a crash attribute it to distractions and 292,000 attribute the cause to talking on a cell phone.

Memorial Day weekend through Labor Day The 101 Deadliest Days on the Road and how to survive them

The statistics are tragic, but true. More Americans die on the nation’s highways during the summer than during any other time of the year. The period between the Saturday before Memorial Day and Labor Day sees more drivers on the road, and more deaths related to automobiles.

The dangers are real, but so are your chances for survival when you implement strategies that protect you while you’re behind the wheel.

On the Road

Americans travel more than 1 trillion miles during the 101 days – that’s 10.5 million more miles per month than other months of the year (Bureau of Transportation Statistics, 2001). Record numbers of Americans will travel this Memorial Day holiday, based on a new AAA survey: nearly 37 million Americans will travel 50 miles or more from home this holiday – a 3.6% increase from last year.

All those miles take a tragic toll: on average, 269 more people die in traffic fatalities each month during the summer than in other months of the year. Of the 25 deadliest days on American roads in the past five years, 20 of them fell during the 101 days from Memorial Day weekend to Labor Day, including four of the top five (NHTSA, 1998-2002 data).

Children and the Highways

Children also are casualties of summer. Motor vehicle deaths are the No. 1 cause of death of children, and child motor vehicle deaths are highest
during the summer months. Teen traffic deaths also peak in summer: a 2003 study of teen driving behavior conducted by Liberty Mutual and Students
Against Drunk Driving found that July saw more deaths (644) of youth ages 15-20 than any other month, followed by June (600), September (590) and August (587) in 2002.

Traffic deaths peak three times during the 101 days– Memorial Day weekend, the July 4th holiday, and Labor Day weekend. That alone marks the 101 days as a time for special caution: The average number of traffic deaths during holiday periods are 156 per day compared to 117 per day on non-holidays (NCSA, Research Note March, 2004, DOT HS 809 718).

Most fatal crashes happen on two-lane, undivided highways and occur between 3 p.m. and 6 p.m. Most fatal crashes involving alcohol occur between
midnight and 3 a.m.
Besides traveling more, American families tend to change their driving habits in the summer – in ways that heighten risk to children and teens.
Children are more likely to be on the road with their parents in summer - parents who travel longer distances, travel at night, and for longer stretches. During the summer, families with children were six times more likely to drive home from a long day trip while fatigued than people without children. And teen driving increases dramatically in summer, when many teens drive at night for the first time. Teen drivers average 44% more hours behind the wheel each week during the summer than during the
school year, and 47% of teen drivers drive at night, compared to 6% during the school year(Liberty Mutual/ SADD, 2003).

You CAN stay safe

The good news is there are smart strategies that can drastically increase families’ chances of avoiding or surviving a crash this summer, as the family stories here illustrate. Some are basic good habits, such as
buckling up and not drinking and driving. Others include avoiding late night driving marathons with children and not giving new drivers excessive driving privileges all at once just because summer is here.

We urge you to draw from the strategies outlined in this web site and develop your own family plan to survive - and enjoy - the 101 deadliest days on the road.

http://www.safedrivingtest.com/101days.html

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
May 25, 2006
from Kim Nguyen (a Houston Albemarle employee).

Five Keys to Safer Foods

Keep Clean
. Wash your hands before handling food and often during food preparation
. Wash your hands after going to the toilet
. Wash and sanitize all surfaces and equipment used for food preparation
. Protect kitchen areas and food from insects, pets and other animals

Separate Raw and Cooked
. Separate raw meat, poultry and seafood from other foods
. Use separate equipment and utensils such as knives and cutting boards
for handling raw foods
. Store food in containers to avoid contact between raw and prepared foods

Cook Thoroughly
. Cook food thoroughly, especially meat, poultry, eggs and seafood
. Bring foods like soups and stews to boiling to make sure that they have reached 70oC.
For meat and poultry, make sure that juices are clear, not pink. Ideally use a thermometer.
. Reheat cooked food thoroughly

Keep Food at Safe Temperature
. Do not leave cooked food at room temperature for more than 2 hours
. Refrigerate promptly all cooked and perishable food (preferably below 5oC)
. Keep cooked food piping hot (more than 60oC) prior to serving
. Do not store food too long even in the refrigerator
. Do not thaw frozen food at room temperature

Use safe water and raw materials
. Use safe water or treat it to make it safe
. Select fresh and wholesome foods
. Choose foods processed for safety, such as pasteurized milk
. Wash fruits and vegetables, especially if eaten raw
. Do not use food beyond its expiration date

KNOWLEDGE = PREVENTION

SOURCE: Food Safety - World Health Organization

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
May 24, 2006
PPE At Home
Today's Safety From the Heart was submitted by Gordon Fogle.

About a month ago I was changing the transmission fluid in my truck. My son was home from school that weekend and he was helping me. We were using a relative's lift and were having a little difficulty getting the pan off of the transmission, but eventually we did get it off.

It broke free quickly, and, as it did, the small amount of the remaining fluid in the pan sloshed out onto us and got on our faces and upper bodies. We each grabbed a rag and wiped it off while saying a few choice words. A little bit had gotten into my son's eye, but he said he had gotten all of it out. We ran some water from the hose on our faces just to be sure. My son made the comment "I see why they make us wear safety glasses at school now" (NASCAR tech).

We completed the job and cleaned ourselves up and didn't really think anymore about it. Sunday afternoon came and he went back to North Carolina to school. Monday night he called home and complained that his eye was hurting and "bloodshot." He didn't sleep at all that night because of the pain and went to the eye doctor first thing Tuesday. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic cream and drops for the pain and said that his eye would clear up in a few days. He told him that transmission fluid is mainly a hydrocarbon and that it would "wash" itself out with no long term effects, but he missed a day of school, a night of sleep, and was fairly miserable for a couple of days all because he didn't put on a pair of safety glasses (or I should have insisted that he wear them).

We wear safety glasses at work and at school labs to protect our eyes, but so often we neglect to do the same for home projects.

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
May 23, 2006
Today's Message is from Kevin LeJeune (a Houston Albemarle employee).

GO ASTROS!!!! GO ASTROS!!!! GO ASTROS!!!! GO ASTROS!!!!

Have you ever been to an Astros game? Any ball game?

There are lots of hazards to be careful of:
Splintering bats as they sometimes crack against the ball
Foul balls soaring into the stands
Too much beer
Someone with too much beer in them
Walkways with beer on them
Crazy fans
Crazy players

Oh, how the list goes on.
Be careful.

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
May 22, 2006
Misconceptions
Today's Message is from Sandy Barclay (a Houston Albemarle employee).

Did you know that a bolt of lightning is hotter than the surface of the sun and that the shockwave that produces thunder can damage structures and people? The following information can be found on http://science.howstuffworks.com.

Misconceptions
 Ben Franklin was struck by lightning.

No way! Contrary to popular school teachings, Mr. Franklin was very lucky to survive his experiment. The spark he saw was a product of the kite/key system being in a strong electric field. Had the kite/key actually been struck, Mr. Franklin would surely have been killed. As we all know now, his experiment was extremely dangerous and should not be repeated.

 Rubber tires keep you safe in a car because they do not conduct electricity.

Nope. In strong electric fields, rubber tires actually become more conductive than insulating. The reason you are safe in a car is because the lightning will travel around the surface of the vehicle and then go to ground. This occurs because the vehicle acts like a Faraday cage. Michael Faraday, a British physicist, discovered that a metal cage would shield objects within the cage when a high potential discharge hit the cage. The metal, being a good conductor, would direct the current around the objects and discharge it safely to the ground. This process of shielding is widely used today to protect the electrostatic sensitive integrated circuits in the electronics world.

 The tallest objects in a storm always get struck by lightning.

It's true that taller objects are closer to the clouds, but as discussed previously, lightning can strike the ground at a close distance to a tall object. Taller objects may have a higher possibility of a strike, but where lightning is concerned, the strike path is not predictable.

 Surge protectors will save your electronics (TV, VCR, PC) if lightning strikes your power line.

No way! Surge protectors provide protection for power surges in the line from the power company, but not for lightning. To really guard against strike damage, you need a lightning arrester. The arrester uses a gas-filled gap that acts as an open circuit to low potentials, but becomes ionized and conducts at very high potentials. If the lightning hits the line you are protecting, the gas gap will conduct the current safely to ground.

Safety in a Storm
Over 1,000 people get struck by lightning every year in the United States, and over 100 of them die as a result of the strike. Lightning is not something to toy with.

If you are caught outside in a storm, always look for appropriate shelter. Do not take any chances -- lightning can use you as a path to the earth just as easily as it can use any other object. Appropriate shelter would be a building or a car. If you do not have anywhere to go, then you should avoid taking shelter under trees. Trees attract lightning. Put your feet as close together as possible and crouch down with your head as low as possible without touching the ground.

Never lay down on the ground. After lightning strikes the ground, there is an electric potential that radiates outward from the point of contact. If your body is in this area, current can flow through you. You never want the current to have the ability to pass through your body. This could cause cardiac arrest, not to mention other organ damage and burns. By making your body as low to the ground as possible and minimizing the amount of your body in contact with the ground, you can lower the possibility of a lightning-related injury. If a strike were to occur near you, the current would have a much more difficult time flowing through your body in this position.

If you are indoors, stay off the phone. If you must call someone, use a cordless phone or cell phone. If lightning strikes the phone line, the strike will travel to every phone on the line (and potentially to you if you are holding the phone).

Stay away from plumbing pipes (bath tub, shower). Lightning has the ability to strike a house or near a house and impart an electrical charge to the metal pipes used for plumbing. This threat is not as great as it used to be, because PVC (polyvinyl chloride) is often used for indoor plumbing these days. If you are not sure what your pipes are made of, wait it out.

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
May 19, 2006
Be Careful
Today's Safety From the Heart message was submitted by John Green.

On the afternoon of 05/02/06 I took a fall climbing out of a trailer on the drum storage pad which resulted in an injury to my left knee. The ER doctor and the plain X-ray detected no broken bones. After the examination I felt comfortable about returning to work on 05/03/06 and that OTC medication would be suitable for pain control.

The point I am trying to make is that when you are doing a job, no matter how familiar you are with the routine, be careful and be watchful for the unusual. You should also have knowledge of any tools and devices that will make your task safer. After my accident I learned that a portable step was very close to where I fell. Evaluate the job to be done. Be careful and thoughtful about what you are doing.

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
May 18, 2006
Lawn Mower Safety
by Kim Boudreaux, BRT employee

Now that the sun is shining and rain is falling again, we all need to have our grass mowed. If you are like me and do it yourself, be ever vigilant of the dangers of lawn mowers. Several years ago I was mowing the very front of my yard. Unbeknownst to me a rock flew out from my mower and hit the side window of a passing car. Luckily no one in the car was hurt. After the driver got over her shock, she came back to my house to show me what had happened. My homeowners insurance paid to fix her window and the incident was resolved. But ever since them I am always aware of passing cars or pedestrians while mowing the front of the yard. If a person or car is passing, I actually pause my mowing to allow the car or person to pass before I continue mowing. It sounds a little obsessive, but I do not want an incident of this type to occur again. And I have a different mower now that doesn't shoot the grass out the side. Something else to consider when purchasing a new lawn mower.

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
Quit For Your Family’s Sake!!

The Surgeon General reports that a third of all lung cancer deaths, in nonsmokers, are due to secondhand smoke inhalation. Living with a smoker for 20 years does as much damage to your body as smoking 5 to 6 cigarettes a day and doubles your risk of heart attack.. If you smoke, quit to help yourself, your family and your friends. If you live with a smoker, ask them to stop for the sake of your health.
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ. www.mcc2000.net
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Families Seek Accidental War Deaths Medal
May 28 7:10 PM US/Eastern
By CHRISTINA ALMEIDA
Associated Press Writer

Richard Perez made just one request when he said goodbye to his son on a tarmac at March Air Reserve Base just east of here.

"Get back here no matter what," Perez told Rich Jr.

Six months later, and one week shy of his return from Iraq, the 19- year-old Marine was killed when a truck accidentally crushed him.

At the funeral, Perez asked a military officer about his son's Purple Heart _ and was told the military issues the honor only to those killed or wounded in combat. There would be no special medal for Richard Perez Jr.

"These are honors, the highest things that can be bestowed on these guys," Perez Sr. said recently. "That's all you're really left with."

Following his son's death in February 2005, Perez joined a small but growing group of families who are petitioning Congress to create an alternative medal honoring those killed in a war zone but away from combat. In Iraq and Afghanistan, that amounts to more than 600 men and women _ more than 20 percent of the deaths so far.

Leading the effort is Eleanor Dachtler, who lost her 19-year-old son during an insurgent attack in Iraq and received her son's Purple Heart posthumously. Currently, the families of those who die non-combat deaths say they receive medals honoring their loved one's service, but nothing recognizing their death.

"Anybody who goes over there and gives their life for their country deserves to be recognized," said Dachtler, whose son, Lance Cpl. Nicholas Anderson of Las Vegas, was killed in November 2004. "How can you sit there and say one person's life is less valuable than another person's life?"

Memorial Day provides her another compelling reminder.

"If we're going to remember them, let's do it right," she said.

Dachtler has been urging people to contact their congressional representatives about the proposed new medal. And she has enlisted Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., who has instructed his staff to speak with the Pentagon about it.

A Defense Department spokeswoman declined comment on the families' campaign. "Since specific legislation has not be proposed as of yet, we cannot speculate on what our views may or may not be," Lt. Col. Ellen Krenke said by e-mail.

Military brass could worry that awarding a new medal for current conflicts might send a mixed message to veterans of previous wars.

"If you're going to recognize non-combat deaths in this war, what about Vietnam? What about Korea?" said Loren Thompson of the Lexington Institute, a defense think tank in Alexandria, Va. "It raises a host of questions I'm certain the armed forces would like to avoid."

It's also a dilemma for combat veterans.

"When a family loses a loved one it's very difficult to discuss what they should or should not be awarded," said Ray Funderburk, spokesman for the Military Order of the Purple Heart.

The Virginia-based veterans service organization was founded in 1932 _ the same year the U.S. War Department revived the Purple Heart, which was first established by George Washington.

An estimated 500,000 people alive today have been awarded a Purple Heart, according to Funderburk. The group, he said, would likely not oppose a separate medal for those killed in non-hostile action.

"I don't think it would affect the nature of the Purple Heart or the meaning of the Purple Heart," Funderburk said. "But it would have to be something other than a Purple Heart."

The families of those killed in non-combat incidents have said they do not want to change the criteria of the Purple Heart. What they do want is a medal to honor their loved one's sacrifice.

"He died in honor, serving his country," said Frank Guastaferro, a Vietnam veteran whose 27-year-old son Daniel died in January 2005 when his Humvee plunged into a canal in Iraq. "I am very proud of him for what he accomplished."
___

On the Net:

Military Order of the Purple Heart, http://www.purpleheart.org/
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THE LORD'S BASEBALL GAME

Freddy and the Lord stood by to observe a baseball game. The Lord's team was playing Satan's team.

The Lord's team was at bat, the score was tied zero to zero, and it was the bottom of the 9th inning with two outs. They continued to watch as a batter stepped up to the plate named'Love.'

Love swung at the first pitch and hit a single, because "Love never fails."

The next batter was named Faith, who also got a single because Faith works with Love.

The next batter up was named Godly Wisdom. Satan wound up and threw the first pitch.

Godly Wisdom looked it over and let it pass: Ball one. Three more pitches and Godly Wisdom walked because he never swings at what Satan throws.

The bases were now loaded. The Lord then turned to Freddy and told him He was now going to bring in His star player. Up to the plate stepped Grace. Freddy said, "He sure doesn't look like much!"

Satan's whole team relaxed when they saw Grace. Thinking he had won the game, Satan wound up and fired his first pitch. To the shock of everyone, Grace hit the ball harder than anyone had ever seen! But Satan was not worried; his center fielder let very few get by.

He went up for the ball, but it went right through his glove, hit him on the head and sent him crashing on the ground;

the roaring crowds went wild as the ball continued over the fence .. . . for a home run!

The Lord's team won!

The Lord then asked Freddy if he knew why Love, Faith and Godly Wisdom could get on base but couldn't win the game. Freddy answered that he didn't know why.

The Lord explained, "If your love, faith and wisdom had won the game, you would think you had done it by yourself. Love, Faith and Wisdom will get you on base but only My Grace can get you Home: 'For by Grace we are saved, it is a gift of God; not of works, lest any man should boast."

Psalm 84:11,"For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord will give grace and glory; no good thing will He with hold from those who walk uprightly."

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil 4:13
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Pope Asks Why God 'Tolerated' Holocaust
May 28 8:19 PM US/Eastern
By VICTOR L. SIMPSON
Associated Press Writer
OSWIECIM, Poland

Pope Benedict XVI visited the Auschwitz concentration camp as "a son of the German people" Sunday and asked God why he remained silent during the "unprecedented mass crimes" of the Holocaust.

Benedict walked along the row of plaques at the Auschwitz-Birkenau complex's memorial, one in the language of each nationality whose members died there. As he stopped to pray, a light rain stopped and a brilliant rainbow appeared over the camp.

"To speak in this place of horror, in this place where unprecedented mass crimes were committed against God and man, is almost impossible _ and it is particularly difficult and troubling for a Christian, for a pope from Germany," he said later.

"In a place like this, words fail; in the end, there can be only a dread silence, a silence which itself is a heartfelt cry to God: Why, Lord, did you remain silent? How could you tolerate all this?"

Benedict said that just as his predecessor, John Paul II visited the camp as a Pole in 10979, he came as "a son of the German people."

"The rulers of the Third Reich wanted to crush the entire Jewish people, to cancel it from the register of the peoples of the Earth," he said, standing near the demolished crematoriums where the Nazis burned the bodies of their victims.

"By destroying Israel with the Shoah, they ultimately wanted to tear up the taproot of the Christian faith and to replace it with a faith of their own invention."

Shoah is the Hebrew term for the Holocaust, during which the Nazis killed 6 million Jews.

As many as 1.5 million people, most of them Jews, died at Auschwitz and Birkenau, neighboring camps built by the German occupiers near the Polish town of Oswiecim _ Auschwitz in German. Others who died there included Poles, Soviet prisoners of war, Roma _ or Gypsies, and political opponents of the Nazis.

Benedict did not refer to collective guilt of the German people but instead focused on the Nazi regime. He said he was "a son of that people over which a ring of criminals rose to power by false promises of future greatness."

He also did not mention the controversy over the wartime role of Pope Pius XII, who some say did not do all in his power to prevent Jews from being deported to concentration camps. The Vatican rejects that accusation.

Typically, Benedict did not mention his own personal experiences during the war. Raised by his anti-Nazi father, Benedict was enrolled in the Hitler Youth as a teenager against his will and then was drafted into the German army in the last months of the war.

He wrote in his memoirs that he decided to desert in the war's last days in 1945 and returned to his home in Traunstein in Bavaria, risking summary execution if caught. In the book, he recounted his terror at being briefly stopped by two soldiers.

He was then held for several weeks as a prisoner of war by U.S. forces who occupied his hometown.

Earlier, the white-clad Benedict walked alone under the camp gate containing the notorious words: "Arbeit Macht Frei," or "Work Sets You Free."

He stopped for a full minute before the Wall of Death, where the Nazis killed thousands of prisoners. He was handed a lighted candle, which he placed before the wall.

At the Wall of Death, a line of 32 elderly camp survivors awaited Benedict, most of them Catholic. He moved slowly down the line, stopping to talk with each, taking one woman's face in his hands and kissing one of the men on both cheeks.

Benedict then visited the dark cell in the basement of one of the buildings, the place where St. Maximilian Kolbe, a Polish Franciscan friar, was executed after voluntarily taking the place of a condemned prisoner with a large family in 1941. Kolbe was canonized by John Paul II in 1982.

Benedict stopped to pray again in the cell, standing before a candle placed there by John Paul during his 1979 visit.

The visit is heavy with significance for Roman Catholic-Jewish relations, a favorite theme for Benedict and John Paul.

This was the third time Benedict has visited Auschwitz and the neighboring camp at Birkenau. The first was in 1979, when he accompanied John Paul, and in 1980, when he came with a group of German bishops while he was archbishop of Munich.

Benedict's stop at Auschwitz _ his last before he left for Rome _ was a somber close to a four-day trip that was otherwise upbeat, with some 900,000 people turning out for his Sunday mass in a meadow in Krakow, the city where John Paul II once served as archbishop.

Earlier, he urged 900,000 singing, clapping Poles gathered in a rain- soaked field to share their faith with other countries, saying it was the best way to honor their beloved John Paul.

The enormous, exuberant crowd chanted "Benedetto! Benedetto!" and sang "Sto Lat," or "A Hundred Years," wishing him a long life.

"I ask you, finally, to share with the other peoples of Europe and the world the treasure of your faith, not least as a way of honoring the memory of your countryman, who, as the successor of St. Peter, did this with extraordinary power and effectiveness," Benedict said as he concluded his homily during the Mass in the Blonia meadow.

"I ask you to stand firm in your faith! Stand firm in your hope! Stand firm in your love! Amen!" he concluded, speaking in Polish on the last day of his trip.

Predominantly Roman Catholic Poland joined the European Union only two years ago, 15 years after the collapse of communist rule.

"He told us that we should remain ourselves, that we should stay as we were before, attached to our traditions and Christian values," said Jacek Radon, 37, a Krakow businessman. "We should carry into the European Union our attachment to faith and to Christ."

A shadow was cast over the papal visit by Saturday's attack on Poland's chief rabbi, Michael Schudrich, who was to say Kaddish, or the Jewish prayer for the dead, during the ceremony led by the pope.

Schudrich told The Associated Press he was attacked in central Warsaw after confronting a man who shouted at him, "Poland for Poles!" The rabbi said the unidentified man punched him in the chest and sprayed him with what appeared to be pepper spray. He was not injured.

Police said they were treating the incident as a possible anti-Semitic attack.

Schudrich, said the most important part of Benedict's message "was his physical presence at Auschwitz" but that some Jews wished he had gone further by directly addressing anti-Semitism.

"It was a very powerful statement and the words that we heard were powerful, but I'm sure some felt a glaring omission ... on the question of anti-Semitism. Jews are very sensitive to that and we are used to hearing the words of John Paul II."

Rabbi Marvin Hier, founder and dean of the Los Angeles, California- based Simon Wiesenthal Center, told The Associated Press that Benedict's presence at the camp and his remarks were firm reminders that Holocaust deniers were not speaking the truth.

"He wore the uniform of the Hitler Youth. For him to now go there as the pope and acknowledge the horrors the Holocaust visited on the Jewish people and all mankind is important," he said.

Benedict, 79, has reached out to Poles by delivering parts of his speeches and homilies in Polish and by retracing beloved native son John Paul II's steps. He visited John Paul's birthplace, Wadowice, and Sunday's Mass was held on the same spot where John Paul also drew large crowds on his return trips to Krakow.

Benedict has been applauded during his visit to Poland for encouraging prayers for John Paul's canonization as a saint and for saying he hopes it will happen "in the near future."
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Activities and Events of Interest
~~~
Albemarle Kids' Fishing Tournament - June 3
~~~
The Purple Hull Pea Festival is scheduled for June 23 and 24
~~~
The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/

The Department of Defense announced the death of four soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died on May 18 in Baghdad, Iraq, from injuries sustained on May 18, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their HMMWV during combat operations. Killed were:
01. Lt. Col. Daniel E. Holland, 43, of San Antonio, Texas
02. 1st. Lt. Robert A. Seidel III, 23, of Gettysburg, Pa.
03. Sgt. Lonnie C. Allen Jr., 26, of Bellevue, Neb.
04. Pfc. Nicholas R. Cournoyer, 25, of Gilmanton, N.H.
Holland was assigned to the 352nd Civil Affairs Command, Fort Bragg, N.C.
Seidel, Allen and Cournoyer were assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 22nd Infantry, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry), Fort Drum, N.Y.

05. Petty Officer Third Class Lee Hamilton Deal, 23, of West Monroe, La., died May 17, as a result of enemy action in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was operationally assigned to Regimental Combat Team-5, I Marine Expeditionary Force (Forward), and permanently assigned to 2nd Marine Division Fleet Marine Force Atlantic, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

06. Staff Sgt. Christian Longsworth, 26, of Newark, N.J., died in Oruzgan province, Afghanistan, on May 19, from wounds sustained when his convoy came under enemy small arms fire during combat operations. Longsworth was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 7th Special Forces Group, Fort Bragg, N.C.

The Department of Defense announced the death of three Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
07. Sgt. David R. Christoff, 25, of Rossford, Ohio
08. Lance Cpl. William J. Leusink, 21, of Maurice, Iowa
09. Lance Cpl. Benito A. Ramirez, 21, of Edinburg, Texas
Ramirez died May 21, while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.
Christoff and Leusink both died May 22, from wounds received while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar province, Iraq. They were both assigned to 3rd Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Base Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii.



10. Spc. Michael L. Hermanson, 21, of Fargo, N.D., died on May 24, in AL Abayachi, Iraq, of injuries sustained when his RG-31 Mine Protected Vehicle came under improvised explosive device, rocket propel grenade and enemy small arms fire while on a route-clearing mission during combat operations. Hermanson was assigned to the Army National Guard's 164th Engineer Battalion, Minot, N.D.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
11. Pfc. Steven W. Freund, 20, of Pittsburgh, Pa.
12. Lance Cpl. Robert G. Posivio III, 22, of Sherburn, Minn.
Both Marines died May 23, while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar province, Iraq. They were assigned to 1st Battalion, 1st Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

13. Pfc. Caleb A. Lufkin, 24, of Knoxville, Ill., died on May 25, at Walter Reed Army Medical Center, Washington, D.C., of injuries sustained on May 4, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his RG-31 Mine Protected Vehicle during combat operations in Baghdad, Iraq. Lufkin was assigned to the 5th Engineer Battalion, Fort Leonard Wood, Mo.

14. Lance Cpl. Kevin A. Lucas, 20, of Greensboro, N.C., died May 26, while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 8th Marines, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

~~~

Secretary Rumsfeld Delivers Memorial Day Message
“On this Memorial Day, we again pause to remember and to honor those who dedicated their lives to the service of others.
“From the first citizen soldiers who stood fast to defend their homes at Lexington and Concord, to the Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and Marines securing our liberty and our way of life today, our country has been truly blessed by those who stepped forward to say, ““send me.””
““Theirs is a noble calling that founded a nation, drove back the forces of Fascism, Communism, and terrorism, and made historic advances in the cause of human freedom.
““Their service strengthens our will to persevere through every challenge. They remind us of what it means to be an American.
““So to all of those serving our country today, know that we are deeply grateful to you and to your families. May God bless you. And May God bless our wonderful country.’’

http://icasualties.org/oif/default.aspx
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Volume 11, Number 54 --- 23 May 2006
Tourbus Home -- http://www.InternetTourbus.com
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TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPICS: Secure Your Computer / Travel Info

In today's TOURBUS, find out if your computer is a spam spewing zombie, and how to de-zombify it if necessary. Also in this issue, online help for planning your next vacation, the best Bad Stuff on the Web, and the Case of the Ghostly CDrom Drive. Read on!

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Secure Your Computer!
-----------------------

Cyberspace malefactors are enslaving millions of unsecured computers into zombie networks that are responsible for spewing out mountains of spam and attacking legitimate websites that oppose the spammers. Every day, ordinary computers, owned by ordinary people like you, are being used to send spam. Because so many people have failed to take just a few easy steps to secure their computers, they have become zombies, caught up in botnets.

Botnets are groups of PCs on the Internet that can have been compromised by spammers and hackers. Adware, spyware, computer viruses and other rogue programs have allowed these computers to be remotely controlled by a single entity. By using these zombie computer networks, they can send spam that's virtually untraceable, and coordinate attacks against other computers or websites. Is your PC part of the problem? Find out now...

http://askbobrankin.com/secure_your_computer.html

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Travel Information
--------------------

Online since 1996, TravelInformation.com was one of the first travel resources on the Internet. It's also refreshingly different from any other travel-related site I've seen. Instead of trying to sell you airline tickets, hotel rooms and rental cars, this site offers free Official Tourism Guides and kits from tourism bureaus & cities.

Browse through descriptions of the most popular vacation destinations in the USA and Canada, select up to 25 vacation guides, maps and travel planning kits, and they'll be mailed to you at no cost. Most of the kits include detailed descriptions of vacation areas, attractions, and lodging, with four color pictures and toll-free phone numbers. Some include state maps, calendars of events, lists of B&Bs, suggested itineraries, beaches, ski areas, trails and other info that will help you plan a great getaway.

You might think it strange that I'm recommending an offline service for travel planning, but in my experience the good old-fashioned color brochures you can feel and touch offer a higher quality of information with less hassle. Once you've decided where to go, some of the sites in the articles linked below may help you find additional info and some good deals on reservations.

Air Travel - http://askbobrankin.com/air_travel.html

Travel Info - http://askbobrankin.com/travel_information.html

-----------
Bad Stuff
-----------

The Web is just brimming with "best of" sites. But what about the bad, the ugly and the truly awful? In the spirit of admiring the atrocious, displaying the deplorable, and highlighting the heinous, let me present you with some Really Bad Stuff. Nothing dirty or illegal of course, but stuff so bad it'll make you laugh.

When I was a kid, my orthodontist had a really bad painting in his office, which I had to stare at while he reshaped my mouth. Ever since then, I've been sensitive to bad art. And thanks to the Internet, you can find lots of really bad Art, Literature, Songs, Album Covers, Movies, and of course bad websites. Continue on to the next link for sterling examples of the worst the Web has to offer in each category.

Bad Stuff - http://askbobrankin.com/bad_stuff.html

------------------
CDROM Tray Opens
------------------

A reader concerned about computing and the paranormal asked me this:

"My CDROM drive door keeps opening and closing by itself without prompting. Do I need to change a setting or is my computer possessed?"

We can probably start by ruling out possession, at least the kind that might require an exorcist. I've heard reports of this happening due to a hardware problem, specifically with the drive tray being out of alignment, or due to the lens inside the drive being damaged or dirty. It's also possible to control the drive door with software, so perhaps rogue software is to blame. Read on for tips on how to diagnose and fix this problem.

http://askbobrankin.com/cdrom_tray_opens.html

+------------------------------------------------+

That's all for now, see you next time! -- Bob Rankin

+---------------------------------------+
==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]==
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238 Copyright 1995-2005, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved Tourbus News Service - http://tourbus.com/news.html Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the Tourbus Website - http://www.TOURBUS.com
========================
.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Scheduled Activities
~~~
Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 8 p.m. Monday - Friday. At noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and at 7 p.m. Sunday at 914 N. Vine
~~~
Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
~~~
Columbia County Diabetes Support Group - Every third Monday, 7:00 p.m. room 222, Magnolia Hospital
~~~
"Focus on the Family" with Dr. James Dobson weekday afternoons at 1 PM on KVMA am 630 it's a great show!
~~~
MCC - Abraham Prayer - Sunday at 5:00 p.m and Wednesday from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm
~~~
MCC - Early Morning Prayer - Monday - Friday, From 6:30 am to 8:00 am
~~~
MCC - "Beth Moore" Video Class - Thursday nights at 5:45 pm
~~~
MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets at 1051 Columbia 36 the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
~~~
MCC - Firm Foundations Class, Sunday 9:30 to 10:15 a.m
~~~
MCC - Meadow Brook Nursing Home Ministry Tuesday from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m
~~~
MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
~~~
MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
~~~
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
~~~
Narcotics Anonymous 5-6 pm every Monday at 220 Pine street.
~~~
TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) 5 pm every Tuesday in the Magnolia Hospital break room.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Mark 14:27-30 Psa 119:163-168 Psa 40:1-3 Psa 37:4-6 1 Pet 5:6-7 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. For the "Blog" version just go to http://bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com/ to see the latest issue. We also have a site [http://bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com/] where we post photos that I like.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. Of course "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com to see the latest issue (usually updated sometime Friday evening or Saturday morning. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2006 before it was sent. ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Sunday Complaints - - Photos

The guys conquor "Pump Alley"
Steve Downey supports an attack on the foam project.
We used a few extinguishers on the loading terminal. 

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Sunday Complaints - - Photos

"Bug" hard at work while his guys practice with one of ESTI's pumpers
John Kennedy's visual of our fire school experience.
Buddy Kyle, Greg Harrell and Don Voss celebrate survival in the "Warehouse" 

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Sunday Complaints

Volume 8, Issue 20 Friday, May 19, 2006

Hello ALL,

As we continue to work on catching up with “Da Bleat” this week we blame the Blossom Festival. The whole weekend was spent at the festival or recovering from same.
~~~~~
The photos on the front of this weeks “Bleat” include a shot of me “hard at work” while the guys practice their pumper truck skills, a great picture of the guys working “pump alley” and John Kennedy’s idea of what it felt like to finish the first morning of fire fighting.
~~~~~
I had the privilege of going to the Emergency Services Training Institute with another great group this week. Beside the fellowship, they did a great job showing TEEX instructors how South Arkansas people can handle fire. We also enjoyed a side trip to see Bradley, Arkansas’s new fire station as well as a cruise through the Red River bottoms.
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleat3q.blogspot.com, and http://www.bugsbleat4q.blogspot.com. Our photos are now posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Don’t forget to check out www.mcc2000.net
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
We were pleased to see that our friend Randy Lann and the Beech Creek Farms gang won it all. Best steak, best showmanship etc. They’ve done a great job for years and it’s time they won. I encourage y’all to watch food network for the second World Championship Steak Cook-off show, which will, features them.
~~~~~
Even though we didn’t win, Annette and I had a great time working the Albemarle serving line. The first couple in line was from Michigan. They’d heard about the festival on food network and flown down to get a steak. We ended up serving about 600 people in about 30 minutes.
I was working beside Joe Bossier, handing out rolls while he passed out potatoes. The first few people that came through, I told that the rolls were baked fresh in the Jr. High kitchen. Finally Joe asked if that was true? I replied that I didn’t know where the rolls came from. It was just part of my show for the serving line.
He looked and we found that the box the rolls came in was from a bakery in Illinois or some such. But they were good rolls.
As the line moved, I started telling people that my wife had cooked them that morning, then later, I added that it was my mother’s recipe. When I started telling them that it was my grandmother’s recipe, Joe told me that I was the biggest liar he knew.
But the people were enjoying the story and I never let the truth stand in the way of a good story.
~~~~~
Speaking of stories, my cousin Shannon is colleting family stories for publication. So I’m reissuing some of my favorite stories about my family. Look for these Taylor kid story "Titles" in upcoming issues:

Taylor kids "Fear factor" - eating the worm.

Wrecking the train.

A bucket of water is as good as half a day of work.

The Cussing Contest.

The cotton bale and the report card.

The burning school.

The one armed man.

The gunfight and the hobo.
I’m also going to resurrect some of the Charlie, Dinah Sue, and James Fort stories, such as;

The reverse Mohawk

"Silence Vassals"

The courageous washtub captain

The path to the pecan tree

The "secret" fire

Digging to China

Selling and returning Miss Nobie’s pecans

Hop-a-long Cassidy at the "lion" shack

Syrup can lid soapbox derby

Dirt clod grenades

"Don't Cry!"

"Kittens don't like to swim!"

The helmet spittoon

Friday night movies

Two's company - Three's a fight.

China Berry Tree House

Loggers make a fantasyland
~~~~~
Taylor kids "Fear factor" - eating the worm.
Over the last 55 years, I’ve learned that nothing really changes. I’ve seen bell bottoms come and go and come back again. I had the privilege of seeing the introduction of the mini-skirt and hot pants and have seen them return in slightly altered form. I was there for the leisure suit and I hope to never see that again.
So it shouldn’t surprise you to know that “Fear Factor” is nothing new. Kids have been “daring” each other to do stupid things for all known history. The amount of money involved in the dare is all that’s changed.
Back about 70 years or so, seven kids were playing one day when one of them, Iris, dared her brother Fort to eat a caterpillar. He countered that he would for 25 cents (remember, at that time, 25 cents could get you into the show and buy a coke and box of popcorn.) The other six kids pooled their resources and displayed the 25 cents that was now on the line.
Fort calmly walked over to his mother’s pear tree, picked a pear, peeled it and sliced it then placed the caterpillar between two slices and ate the whole thing.
While his siblings argued over the incident and whether that had really met the challenge, Fort picked up the 25 cents and headed to town to buy some licorice.
~~~~~
“The reverse Mohawk”
Twenty or Thirty years after the caterpillar incident, three cousins were enjoying their July 4th fireworks. Of course, it didn’t take long for one of them (Dinah Sue) to suggest that they pool their resources and make something truly impressive. She suggested that they empty their Roman Candles into a coke bottle and then light it.
So the kids each disassembled their fireworks and poured the powder and charges into the coke bottle. Now who was going to light it? To stave off an argument, Charlie suggested that they draw straws. Both Dinah Sue and James Fort drew short straws so the honor was left to Charlie.
The bottle was carefully set on a brick to keep it level and Charlie struck a kitchen match to use to light the device. He carefully dropped the match down the neck of the bottle and was rewarded with an instantaneous fountain of fire.
As we noticed, it was so instantaneous that he didn’t get a chance to get back out of the way before it erupted.
While he was laughing and pointing to the sky, we both were staring at his head. Where once there had been a smartly trimmed crew cut with enough “Butch Wax” to keep it in place all day, now there was a furrow exactly across the center of his head, running from front to back.
The flames had shaved a space about an inch wide from his eyebrows to the back of his head.
Charlie finally noticed that we were staring and asked us what the problem was. Dinah Sue pointed to his head and he felt up there. Upon finding the fresh furrow, he also found his pain threshold.
Charlie ran home where Aunt Mary Joyce applied lard to his head, a switch to his bottom for messing up his new hair cut and then called our parents. That phone call resulted in the confiscation of our remaining pyrotechnics.
We were disappointed but the show had been pretty good already.
~~~~~
The next Albemarle Kids' Fishing Tournament will be Saturday June 3.
~~~~~
Statement to XM Subscribers - The XM Nation

Everything we've done at XM since our first minute on the air is about giving you more choices. We provide more channels and music programming than any other network. We play all the music you want to hear including the artists you want to hear but can't find on traditional FM radio. And we offer the best radios with the features you want for your cars, homes, and all places in between.

We've developed new radios -- the Inno, Helix and NeXus – that take innovation to the next level in a totally legal way. Like TiVo, these devices give you the ability to enjoy the sports, talk and music programming whenever you want. And because they are portable, you can enjoy XM wherever you want.

The music industry wants to stop your ability to choose when and where you can listen. Their lawyers have filed a merit less lawsuit to try and stop you from enjoying these radios.

They don't get it. These devices are clearly legal. Consumers have enjoyed the right to tape off the air for their personal use for decades, from reel-to-reel and the cassette to the VCR and TiVo.

Our new radios complement download services, they don't replace them. If you want a copy of a song to transfer to other players or burn onto CDs, we make it easy for you to buy them through XM + Napster.

Satellite radio subscribers like you are law-abiding music consumers; a portion of your subscriber fee pays royalties directly to artists. Instead of going after pirates who don't pay a cent, the record labels are attacking the radios used for the enjoyment of music by consumers like you. It's misguided and wrong.

We will vigorously defend these radios and your right to enjoy them in court and before Congress, and we expect to win.

Thank you for your support.
~~~~~
Here is the list of the politicians that will be in the Magnolia Blossom Festival parade on Saturday at 10:30 am. The public will be able to go by the Everyday Angels space on the Magnolia square following the parade Saturday to talk to the candidates and/or staff and pick up campaign literature. Our political guests will also be on stage at 6 pm for introductions during the World Championship Steak Cook-Off dinner prior to the Awards Ceremony.

Asa Hutchinson R Governor
Barbara Horn D AR. Senate
Bill Halter D Lt. Gov.
Bruce Maloch D AR. House
Burl Campbell D Co. Judge
Caren Harp R Prosecutor
Charlie Daniels D SOS
Don House D Treasurer
Dustin McDaniel D AG
Gunner Delay R AG
Jay Martin D Lt. Gov.
Jim Lagrone R SOS
Larry Atkinson D Co. Judge
Mac Campbell D Treasurer
Mike Beebe D Governor
Mike Hathorn D Lt. Gov.
Mike Ross D AR04
Paul Suskie D AG
Percy Malone D AR. Senate
Robert Herzfeld D AG
Robin Carroll D Prosecutor
~~~~~
The Magnolia Quarterback Club will have a food booth at the Magnolia Blossom Festival Friday & Saturday selling “Loaded Baked Potatoes”. They will have a choice of Chicken, Beef, or Broccoli with your choice of fillins of sour cream, butter, green onions, chives, bacon bites, jalapenos, & cheese. Prices are $5.00 for a Chicken or Beef and $4.00 for a Broccoli Potato. Come, enjoy, & support your local Magnolia Quarterback Club!
~~~~~
www.aaa.com Regular
Current Avg. $ 2.75
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - We’re sharing recipes from Shannon Voigt’s new Taylor Recipe Book
Microwave Chocolate Pie - Mary Joyce Taylor

Ingredients:
1 ½ cup sugar
4 or 5 Tbsp. cocoa (I use 4)
3 eggs
2 cups milk (can use 1 cup evaporated & 1 cup 1% milk)
3 Tbsp. flour
Pinch of salt
1 tsp. Vanilla
½ stick oleo (3 tbsp)
1 baked piecrust

Method:
Mix together first 6 ingredients in a microwave safe bowl (a two quart bowl works fine). Mix very well with a wire whisk. Cook two minutes on full power. Stir with whisk. Cook 3 more minutes. Stir. Cook 1 more minute. Add vanilla and oleo. Stir until oleo is melted. Pour into a baked pie shell & top with meringue.
Variation: For coconut pie, substitute ?-1 cup sugar and can of coconut for the cocoa.
~~~~~
BreakPoint
With Chuck Colson
‘Handiphobia’
5/19/2006

Who’s Afraid of the Rain Man?

I recently told you about Jason McElwain. He’s the autistic high-schooler from Greece, New York, whose feats on the basketball court, in President Bush’s words, “captivated our country.”

Not surprisingly, McElwain’s story is being turned into a movie. What is surprising is that this is not the only movie being made about autistic people.

There are at least three other films scheduled for release or in production about autistic people and their families. The most highly anticipated of them is probably Daniel Isn’t Talking, starring Julia Roberts. Based on the novel by Marti Leimbach, it’s the story of a woman whose seemingly perfect world is turned upside down when her three-year-old son is diagnosed as autistic.

Leimbach, whose nine-year-old son, Nicholas, is autistic, says that stories about autistic people “[dramatize] the fact that none of us have perfect children.” In her estimation, this is why the stories have broad appeal.

As the grandfather of an autistic boy, I’m gladdened by the positive attention being given to people like my grandson Max, who has some amazing qualities. And one of BreakPoint’s writers and a valued colleague is a single dad raising an autistic boy. This subject is close to home. But, as a Christian, I cannot help but notice that all of this attention is coming at a time when it’s increasingly dangerous to be a handicapped child. They are squarely in the gunsights of those who are conducting what I call a “war on the weak,” which is what this present series is about.

The best-known advocate of this war is Princeton Professor Peter Singer. He has justified the killing of a handicapped child if it “leads to the birth of another child with better prospects of a happy life.” In this case, “the total quantity of happiness will be greater . . .”

It is tempting to dismiss Singer as a crank, that is, until you recall that, just last fall, the Netherlands legalized the killing of terminally ill children—this despite ample warning that the practice is not and will not be confined to the terminally ill. All Dutch children with birth defects are now at risk.

Outside the Netherlands, the threat is subtler, but no less real. Italian neonatologist Carlo Bellieni has coined the term handiphobia to describe the fear of having a disabled child. According to Bellieni, we in the West see “the fetus, as a means and not as the end they truly are.” Thus, “the child is no longer loved unconditionally and respected as a human person.”

Instead, we use prenatal testing to detect any identifiable defects in the unborn child. Those with such defects, like Down syndrome, are then aborted. As Bellieni puts it, “[A]s with all phobias, [the object of our fear] must be made to disappear.”

Well, that’s putting it starkly, but it is true: If a prenatal test for autism were ever developed, it would not be long before autistic people would also be “made to disappear.” While Leimbach is right about no one’s child being “perfect,” Bellieni is also right about how much “imperfection” we’re not prepared to accept.

That’s why I hope that stories like young Jason McElwain’s do more than make us feel good. I hope they also help us to understand the evil that comes from giving in to our fears.

This is part three in the “War on the Weak” series.

For Further Reading and Information

Please help support the Christian worldview ministries of BreakPoint and the Wilberforce Forum by donating online today or calling 1-877-322-5527.

“‘Handiphobia’ Leading Cause of Euthanasia,” Zenit News, 6 May 2006.

“300,000 U.S. Children Diagnosed with Autism,” Associated Press, 4 May 2006.

Marco R. della Cava, “Autism Moves Center Court in Film, Books,” USA Today, 26 April 2006.

Roberto Rivera, “Children Are the Good Life,” Boundless, 4 May 2006.

“Autistic Hoops Star Going Hollywood,” MSNBC, 2 March 2006.

“Roberts to Star in Daniel Isn’t Talking,” Comingsoon.net, 17 March 2006. Learn more about the book.

BreakPoint Commentary No. 060315, “The Real Point: Jason McElwain and Respect for Life.”

BreakPoint Commentary No. 050729, “A Life Worth Living: Max’s Classroom.”

BreakPoint Commentary No. 030409, “Questions of Life and Death: The Activist and the Professor.”

BreakPoint Commentary No. 051205, “Scary Science: Disturbing Developments on the Down Syndrome Front.”

BreakPoint Commentary No. 031023, “Who Is My Neighbor?: Radio.”

Charles Colson with Harold Fickett, The Good Life (Tyndale, 2005).

The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics.
© 2004 Prison Fellowship.
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
appurtenance: an adjunct or accessory.
cupidity: eager or excessive desire, especially for wealth.
multifarious: having great diversity or variety.
fulsome: offensive from excess of praise.
arrant: outright; thoroughgoing.
palimpsest: an object or place whose older layers or aspects are apparent.
spurious: not genuine; false; illegitimate.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice." - George Eliot

" 'M' is for the million things she gave me, 'O' means only that she’s growing old, 'T' is for the tears were shed to save me, 'H' is for her heart of purest gold; 'E' is for her eyes, with love-light shining, 'R' means right, and right she’ll always be, Put them all together, they spell MOTHER, A word that means the world to me." - Howard Johnson

"Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation can be trusted to act humanely or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear." - Bertrand Russell

"Human beings are the only creatures who are able to behave irrationally in the name of reason." - Ashley Montagu

"All change is a miracle to contemplate; but it is a miracle which is taking place every instant." - Henry David Thoreau

"People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing." - Dale Carnegie

"Courage is the mastery of fear, not the absence of fear." - Mark Twain

“Take a chance! All life is a chance. The person who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The 'sure thing' boat never gets far from shore." --Dale Carnegie

“The trouble with work is that it interferes with living.” --Peter Mckill

"Every candle ever lit; every home, bridge, cathedral or city ever built; every act of human kindness, discovery, daring, artistry or advancement started first in someone's imagination, and then worked its way out. You have that power--use it." --Unknown

“We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.” --Kahlil Gibran

“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate." --Charles Dickens

"There are two ways of exerting one's strength -- one is pushing down, and the other is pulling up." --Booker T. Washington
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

Going "Beyond the 11th" - Widows of 9-11 Establish Program to Help Afghanistan War Widows
Jason Straziuso / Aimee Herd reporting (May 13, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2505
"We wanted people to understand that these widows were widows because of the same terrorists that affected our husbands."

When Mothers Become Children - A Poignant Look at Aging
Marvin Olasky/Teresa Neumann Reporting (May 14, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2509
REPORTER'S NOTE: On this Mother's Day, many of us who have lost our mothers to the ravages of disease and/or old age can identify with this poignant and sweet testimony from an author who succeeds in giving us a glimpse into the emotional crucible of parent/child relationships.-- Teresa Neumann, Breaking Christian News.

UK Assisted Dying Bill Defeated in House of Lords
Andrea Minichiello Williams / Aimee Herd reporting (May 15, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2513
"This has been a great day for those campaigning to halt any move towards the legalization of euthanasia, in the United Kingdom."

Prayer & Action Alert: California Homosexual Education Bill Passes Senate, Proceeds to Assembly for Vote
Lynne Fishel / Aimee Herd reporting (May 16, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2517
"If the Assembly passes the bill (they have until August 31st to do so), the bill then goes to the Governor for signature or veto by Sept 30th."

Da Vinci Code Meets with Harsh Reviews from Critics
Kiera M. McCaffrey / Aimee Herd reporting (May 17, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2522
"The Cannes audience clearly grew restless, as the movie dragged on for two and a half hours, and spun a long sequence of anticlimactic revelations."

Medical Doctors to Convene to Provide Data Supporting Divine Healing
Joseph Park/Teresa Neumann Reporting (May 18, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2526
Some of the best in their medical fields will exchange notes on divine healing and present more than ten cases backed by medical data in which patients received healing by prayer.

Let's "Othercott" Da Vinci
Opinion Piece By Barbara Nicolosi (May 19, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2530
"Use your vote. Don't throw it away. [Go see] a movie other than Da Vinci Code. If enough people do it, the 'powers that be' will notice."
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
GCF: Sunday Complaints

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@egroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/ UNSUBSCRIBE INFO for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2005 before it was sent.
---------------------------------

After church one Sunday morning, a mother commented, "The choir was awful this morning."

The father commented, "The sermon was too long."

Their 7-year-old daughter added, "You've got to admit it was a pretty good show for a dollar."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: When One Shows Up

Emailed to me from another humor list (You Make Me Laugh) -Tom To subscribe to You Make Me Laugh, send a blank email to: SUBSCRIBE-laugh@lists.crosswalk.com
---------------------------------

A preacher prepared for Sunday morning service, but only one person, a farmer, was there. He asked the farmer, "What do you think we should do?"

The farmer replied with a drawl, "Well, if only one cow came into the barn, I'd feed it."

So the preacher mounted the pulpit and began to preach ... and preach ... and preach. After about two hours, he concluded.

Then he stepped down and said to the farmer, "So, what did you think?"

The farmer replied, "Well, if only one cow came into the barn, I certainly wouldn't try to feed it all the hay."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Caddy Advice

Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day) -Tom To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to: martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
---------------------------------

Standing on the tee of a relatively long par three, a confident golfer said to his caddy, "Looks like a four-wood and a putt to me."

The caddy argued with him a bit and suggested that he instead play it safe and hit a four-iron then a wedge. The golfer was insulted and proceeded to scream and yell at the caddy on the tee telling him that he was a better golfer than that and how dare the caddy under estimate his game.

So, giving in, the caddy handed the gentleman the four-wood he had asked for. He proceeded to top the ball and watched as it rolled about fifteen yards off the front of the tee.

Immediately the caddy handed him his putter and said, "And now for one long putt..."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Housekeeping Husband

Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day) -Tom
To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to:
martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
---------------------------------

My friend's husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better. Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away.

When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, he crowed, "I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath."

I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added sheepishly, "When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Could Be Worse ... Oh, Wait, It Is

Found at The Shark Tank (Computerworld) -Tom
http://www.computerworld.com/action/sharktank.do?command=viewDailyFull&date=20060512&source=NLT_SHARK&nlid=6
---------------------------------

This old courthouse is being remodeled, and it's up to the county IT department to pull out the network and phone cables, reports a technician who's on the crew doing the cutting and pulling.

"We don't want the wrong cable cut, as we still have fiber and phone lines running through to another building," the tech says. "We have been very carefully tracing, tagging and pulling cables for two days."

"On the last day, we walk back to the shop to get ready to leave, and the boss comes in and tells us that we must have cut a fiber cable. The network and IP phones are down in the other building, and they are a little irate to say the least."

The technician knows his crew hasn't cut any fiber, but they go back to check. They inspect both buildings, but they can't find any sign of the break.

It's when they're walking one last time between the buildings that they overhear a conversation that provides a clue. "The construction foreman was talking about the heavy-duty forklift tearing up the lawn and getting stuck," reports the tech.

"You guessed it: The fork lift had run over our green plastic in-ground cable vault. When we went to look, all we saw was mud and fiber cables ripped in two. They had gotten the fiber but missed the 100-pair phone trunk, thank goodness. And here we were, so very careful."

"Then it started to rain."
_ ____________________________ _
____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I am willing to make \ /
\ _/ the mistakes if someone else \_ /
/ / is willing to learn from them. \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Crime wouldn't pay \ /
\ _/ if the government ran it. \_ /
/ / \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / A cow tried to jump over \ /
\ _/ a barbed wire fence. \_ /
/ / It was udder destruction! \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Who edits fishing shows? \ /
\ _/ How do they decide \_ /
/ / what's too boring? \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / Why is lemon juice mostly \ \_/ ////
\ / artificial ingredients but \ /
\ _/ dishwashing liquid \_ /
/ / contains real lemons? \ _ ____________________________ _
Thomas S. Ellsworth
tellswor@slonet.org
http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor
____________________________
Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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[GCFL.net] The Poor Tailor and the French Restaurant

Old Abraham was a poor tailor whose shop was next door to a very upscale French restaurant. Every day at lunch time, Abraham would go out the back of his shop and eat his black bread and herring while smelling the wonderful odors coming from the restaurant's kitchen.

One day, Abraham was surprised to receive an invoice from the restaurant for "enjoyment of food." So he went to the restaurant to point out that he had not bought anything from them. The manager said, "You're enjoying our food, so you should pay us for it."

Abraham refused to pay and the restaurant sued him. At the hearing, the judge asked the restaurant manager to present his side of the case. The manager said, "Every day, this man comes and sits outside our kitchen and smells our food while eating his. It is clear that we are providing added value to his poor food and we deserve to be compensated for it."

The judge turned to Abraham and said, "What do you have to say to that?"

Abraham didn't say anything but stuck his hand in his pocket and rattled the few coins he had inside.

The judge asked him, "What is the meaning of that?"

Abraham replied, "I'm paying for the smell of his food with the sound of my money."

Received from Thomas S. Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Two Sisters

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. To keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so they can breed their own stock.

They have only $600 left. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette has only $1 left. She realizes that she'll be able to send her sister just one word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'"

The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable'?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's a blonde. The word's big. She'll read it very slowly: 'com-for-da-bull'!"

Received from Lois Reed.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Young Clergyman

A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the fears and temptations his future congregations faced if he first took a job as a policeman for several months. He passed the physical examination; then came the oral exam to test his ability to act quickly and wisely in an emergency.

Among other questions he was asked, "What would you do to disperse a frenzied crowd?"

He thought for a moment and then said, "I would take up a collection."

Received from Paula Sanning.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Typoglycemia

Don't delete this because it looks weird. Believe it or not you can read it!

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch taem at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Such a cdonition is arppoiately cllaed Typoglycemia.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and yuo awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorant.

GCFL note: Please forgive us for not spell-checking this funny! :)

Received from Anthea Williams.

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Rate this funny at http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
To print or email this funny to others, go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php
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True Stories of Bizarre Employment Interviews:

• “At the end of the interview, the candidate expressed her interest in getting the position, but only if her boyfriend liked the company and the hiring manager. She then said, ‘He's waiting outside. Can I bring him in to say hello?’”

• “After answering the first few questions, the man picked up his cell phone to call his parents and let them know the interview was going well.”

• “When asked by the hiring manager why she was leaving her current job, the applicant said, ‘My manager is a jerk. All managers are jerks.’”

• “The candidate entered the lobby and identified herself to the receptionist. She then pulled two pairs of shoes from her bag and asked, ‘Which pair do you think I should wear with this suit?’”

• “When asked why he wanted to work for the company, the applicant responded, ‘That's a good question. I really haven't given it much thought.’”

• “When told she would meet with another interviewer, the young woman said, ‘Wait just a minute.’ She then proceeded to reapply her makeup and hairspray, all in the first interviewer's office.”

• “He referred to his former boss by name, calling him a ‘big jerk’ and ‘a pain in the neck.’ It turned out that that the interviewer had the same last name and that they were related.”

• “After being complimented on his choice of college and the grade point average he achieved, the candidate replied, ‘I'm glad that got your attention. I didn't really go there.’”

• “The company sent an employee to meet a prospective candidate at the airport. Getting off the plane, he said it was far too cold to live in this city and he took the next flight home.”
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• Seen on Bumper Stickers:
--You! Off my planet!
--Air Pollution is a mist-demeanor.
--Editing is a rewording activity.
--Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
--Make yourself at home .....clean my kitchen
--Allow me to introduce my selves
--Better living through denial
--The older I get, the better I used to be.
--I'm just working here until a good fast food job opens up....
--A work desk is a garbage can with drawers.
--Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
--The one who snores, falls asleep first.
--Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
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• Why is Cinderella a bad basketball player?
...She has a pumpkin for a coach!
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• Deep Thought: I think a really funny joke would be for NASA to send up rockets and push a bunch of planets out of alignment. Then they could sit back and laugh when everyone realizes that their horoscopes aren't coming true.
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Top Rejected Action Hero Catch Phrases:

• "Let's agree to disagree, punk."

• "I'll be back. As long as I'm going, do you want anything from the Bath and Body Shop?"

• "Use the biggie-sized gun, Luke!"

• "I'm about to give you one more reason to vote for universal health care!"

• "I know you are, punk, but what am I?"

• "You just messed with the wrong motivational speaker, my friend!"

• "Chili con carne, baby!"

• "You're going to want to put some ice on that."

• "Yippie Ki Yay, Mother Superior!"

• "Where do you want to hurt today?"

• "Let's mambo with Mr. Pain!"

• "Do you feel like chicken tonight, punk?"

• "Justice? You're soaking in it!"
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• Spelling Options:
• If GH can stand for P: Hiccough
• If OUGH can stand for O: Dough
• If PHTH can stand for T: Phthisis
• If EIGH can stand for A: Neighbor
• If TTE can stand for T: Gazette
• If EAU can stand for O: Plateau
• Then the right way to spell POTATO should be: "GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU"
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• Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
--In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
--In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
--In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
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Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.

*Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say*

10) "EEEEEKKK!!!!!!"

9) "Exterminator down! Exterminator down! Send backup!!! Extermin..."

8) "The GOOD news is... you have termites."

7) "Do you happen to have a large net?"

6) "You know, I'm also a taxidermist."

5) "Ma'am, I'm afraid you need to let me take the oatmeal raisin cookies with me."

4) "FIRE IN THE HOLE!"

3) "Hi, I'm Willie Nelson and I'll be your exterminator today."

2) "Duck!"

1) "Shazbot! I accidentally killed Mindy!"

(-:][:-)

*Bigger Piece*

One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller; You don't love me any more..."

"Nonsense, darling," replied the husband, "you just cook better now."

(-:][:-)

*Odd News Reports*

*"The license fee for altered dogs with a certificate will be $3 and for pets owned by senior citizens who have not been altered the fee will be $1.50."

*"Dr. Benjamin Porter visited the school yesterday and lectured on 'Destructive Pests.' A large number were present."

*"The sewer expansion project is nearing completion but city officials are holding their breath until it is officially finished."

*"The ladies of the county medical society auxiliary plan to publish a cookbook. Part of the money will go to the Samaritan Hospital to purchase a stomach pump."

(-:][:-)

*Kids' Kitchen Terms*

BOIL: The point a parent reaches upon hearing the automatic "Yuck" before a food is even tasted.

CASSEROLE: Combination of favorite foods that go uneaten because they are mixed together.

DESSERT: The reason for eating a meal.

EVAPORATE: Magic trick performed by children when it comes time to clear the table or wash dishes.

FRUIT: A natural sweet not to be confused with dessert.

REFRIGERATOR: A very expensive and inefficient room air conditioner when not being used as an art gallery.

SODA POP: Shake 'N Spray.

TABLE LEG: Percussion instrument.

(-:][:-)

*Inferior Bags*

It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large order.

As the harried looking clerk lifted the final bag for her, its bottom gave way, sending the contents crashing to the floor.

"They just don't make these bags like they used to," the clerk blurted to the customer.

"That was supposed to happen in your driveway!"

Eye Laugh

"Robert's Tweaking"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw239

"You Lookin' at Me?"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=33

"Barbed References"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=32

"Giraffe Big"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=31

"Computer Arch"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=30


(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/employeedearest.html - - Employee Dearest Dear Employee: Congratulations on your ___ (fill in the blank) anniversary at StaffPeopleInESpace.com ("SPIES"). We hope you have enjoyed your ___ (fill in the blank) years at SPIES as much as we have.
It's time, as you know, for your annual review, which we have decided to do this year by email. In the past, we made every effort to conduct employee reviews face to face. Frankly, however, in person interviews are very time consuming. Plus we had far too many fatalities.
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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The Complete Guide to E-mail - - http://www.inc.com/magazine/20051001/email-intro.html - - This site by Inc.com presents a complete guide to keeping your system secure, efficient, compliant, and affordable. This guide outlines the biggest e-mail concerns, particularly security, compliance, and archiving.
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Mold Fact Sheet - - http://www.cdc.gov/mold/ - - Mold information by the Centers for Disease Control. Information includes a FAQ, fact sheets on specific molds, cleanup and remediation guidelines, discussions about mold and dampness in indoor spaces, and related material.
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NOAA: Ocean Explorer - - http://www.oceanexplorer.noaa.gov/ - - This Website has been created by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration: Explore the ocean realm with NOAA. This Web site chronicles the adventures and discoveries of NOAA's at-sea science and education teams.
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Talking History - - http://www.talkinghistory.org/ - - Talking History, based at the University at Albany, State University of New York, is a production, distribution, and instructional center for all forms of "aural" history. Site's mission is to provide teachers, students, researchers and the general public with as broad and outstanding a collection of audio documentaries, speeches, debates, oral histories, conference sessions, commentaries, archival audio sources, and other aural history resources as is available anywhere.
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How Digital Cameras Work - - http://www.howstuffworks.com/digital-camera.htm - - The digital camera is one of the most remarkable instances of this shift because it is so truly different from its predecessor. Conventional cameras depend entirely on chemical and mechanical processes -- you don't even need electricity to operate them. On the other hand, all digital cameras have a built-in computer, and all of them record images electronically. In this Howstuffworks article, find out exactly what's going on inside these amazing digital-age devices.
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GovEngine.com - - http://www.govengine.com/ - - This site is dedicated to promoting e-Government initiatives and interconnectivity between the federal, state and local levels of government with the citizens. GovEngine's goal is to provide to the citizens of the United States of America an educational awareness and broadened understanding of online government accessibility and to emphasize the communication and cooperation between all branches and levels of government with the public. Site contains over 17,000 federal, state, and local governmental links.
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HousekeepingChannel.com - - http://www.housekeepingchannel.com/ - - HousekeepingChannel.com (HC) is a comprehensive resource for "Better, Faster, Healthier" cleaning and housekeeping. HC exists to help you clean, protect and enhance your home environment using proven processes and practices from cleaning experts, professional cleaning services, environmental service professionals, and organizational and time-management consultants.
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------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
May 17, 2006
Driving Safety
Today's Safety From the Heart message was submitted by Robert Dunning.

Try to expect the unexpected!

This can cause you to have a bad day. On the way home from work yesterday the car in front of me made a left turn. The problem was they had no brake lights or turn signal. I was barely able to stop in time in order to avoid a bad accident.

Because I was driving my motorcycle, it would have been all the worse for me. Had I not been paying attention I might not be writing this today. Fortunately I did have a good safe distance between myself and the car in front of me, but when I realized the car was turning, my safe distance quickly diminished to almost nothing!

For your safety and others, please be sure your brake lights and signals work and use them. Please don't follow too close.

Happy motoring.

RW Dunning
------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
May 16, 2006
Cruise Control
Today's Message is from Robert Henley (a Houston Albemarle employee).

NEVER KNEW THIS BEFORE. I wonder how many people know about this?

A 36-year-old female had an accident several weeks ago and totaled her car. A resident of Kilgore, Texas, she was traveling between Gladewater & Kilgore. It was raining, though not excessively, when her car suddenly began to hydroplane and literally flew through the air. She was not seriously injured but very stunned at the sudden occurrence! When she explained to the highway patrolman what had happened he told her something that every driver should know - NEVER DRIVE IN THE RAIN WITH YOUR CRUISE CONTROL ON. She had thought she was being cautious by setting the cruise control and maintaining a safe consistent speed in the rain.

But the highway patrolman told her that if the cruise control is on and your car begins to hydroplane -- when your tires lose contact with the pavement, your car will accelerate to a higher rate of speed and you take off like an airplane. She told the patrolman that was exactly what had occurred.

The highway patrol estimated her car was actually traveling through the air at 10 to 15 miles per hour faster than the speed set on the cruise control.
The patrolman said this warning should be listed, on the driver's seat sun-visor - NEVER USE THE CRUISE CONTROL WHEN THE PAVEMENT IS WET OR ICY, along with the airbag warning. We tell our teenagers to set the cruise control and drive a safe speed - but we don't tell them to use the cruise control only when the pavement is dry.

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------

May 18, 2006
Lawn Mower Safety
by Kim Boudreaux, BRT employee

Now that the sun is shining and rain is falling again, we all need to have our grass mowed. If you are like me and do it yourself, be ever vigilant of the dangers of lawn mowers. Several years ago I was mowing the very front of my yard. Unbeknownst to me a rock flew out from my mower and hit the side window of a passing car. Luckily no one in the car was hurt.
After the driver got over her shock, she came back to my house to show me what had happened. My homeowners insurance paid to fix her window and the incident was resolved. But ever since them I am always aware of passing cars or pedestrians while mowing the front of the yard. If a person or car is passing, I actually pause my mowing to allow the car or person to pass before I continue mowing. It sounds a little obsessive, but I do not want an incident of this type to occur again. And I have a different mower now that doesn't shoot the grass out the side. Something else to consider when purchasing a new lawn mower.

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------

Quit For Your Family’s Sake!!

The Surgeon General reports that a third of all lung cancer deaths, in nonsmokers, are due to secondhand smoke inhalation. Living with a smoker for 20 years does as much damage to your body as smoking 5 to 6 cigarettes a day and doubles your risk of heart attack.. If you smoke, quit to help
yourself, your family and your friends. If you live with a smoker, ask them to stop for the sake of your health.
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ. www.mcc2000.net
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Daddy's Poem

Her hair was up in a pony tail,
her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her,
that she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand,
if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid;
she knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried,
for her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school
eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees
a dad who never calls.

There were daddi es along the wall in back,
for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
anxious in their seats

One by one the teacher called
a student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name,
every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
a man who wasn't there.

"Where's her daddy at?"
she heard a boy call out.
"She probably doesn't have one,"
another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back,
she heard a daddy say,
"Looks like another deadbeat dad,
too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her,
as she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher,
who told her to go on.
And with hands behind her back,
slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
came words incredibly unique.

"My Daddy couldn't be here,
because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
since this is such a special day.
And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
and how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories
he taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
and taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,
and ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him.
I'm not standing here alone.

"Cause my daddy's always with me,
even though we are apart
I know because he told me,
he'll forever be in my heart"

With that, her little hand reached up,
and lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
beneath her favorite dress.

And from somewhere here in the crowd of dads,
her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love
of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down,
staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
but its message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much,
he's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
but heaven's just too far.

You see he was a policeman
and died just this past year
When airplanes hit the towers
and taught Americans to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes,
it's like he never went away."
And then she closed her eyes,
and saw him there that day.

And to her mothers amazement,
she witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them,
who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
they saw him at her side.

"I know you're with me Daddy,"
to the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it,
for each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
by the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
that heaven is never too far.

They say it takes a minute to find a special
person, an hour to appreciate them,
a day to love them, but then an entire
life to forget them.

Take the time...to live and love.
Until eternity. God blesss
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God, when I received this e-mail, I thought...

I don't have time for this... And, this is really inappropriate during work.
Then, I realized that this kind of thinking is... Exactly, what has caused lot of the problems in our world today.
We try to keep God in church on Sunday morning...
Maybe, Sunday night...
And, the unlikely event of a midweek service.
We do like to have Him around during sickness...
And, of course, at funerals.
However, we don't have time, or room, for Him during work or play...
Because.. That's the part of our lives we think... We can, and should, handle on our own.
May God forgive me for ever thinking....
That... there is a time or place where..
HE is not to be FIRST in my life.
We should always have time to remember all HE has done for us.
Jesus said, "If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father."
Yes, I do Love God.
HE is my source of existence and Savior.
He keeps me functioning each and every day. Without Him, I will be nothing. But, with Christ, HE strengthens me. (Phil 4:13)

THE POEM
I knelt to pray but not for long, I had too much to do. I had to hurry and get to work For bills would soon be due So I knelt and said a hurried prayer,
And jumped up off my knees.
My Christian duty was now done
My soul could rest at ease.
All day long I had no time
To spread a word of cheer. No time to speak of Christ to friends,
They'd laugh at me I'd fear.
No time, no time, too much to do,
That was my constant cry,
No time to give to souls in need
But at last the time, the time to die.
I went before the Lord, I came, I stood with downcast eyes. For in his hands God held a book; It was the book of life.
God looked into his book and said
"Your name I cannot find.
I once was going to write it down..
But never found the time"
Now do you have the time to pass it on?
Make sure that you scroll through to the end.
Easy vs. Hard
Why is it so hard to tell the truth but Yet so easy to tell a lie?
Why are we so sleepy in church but Right when the sermon is over we suddenly wake up?
Why is it so hard to talk about God but yet so easy to talk about nasty stuff?
Why is it so boring to look at a Christian magazine, but yet so easy to look at a nasty one?
Why is it so easy to delete a Godly e- ma il, but yet we forward all of the nasty ones?
Why are the churches getting smaller but yet the bars and dance clubs are getting larger?

There once was a man named George Thomas, pastor in a small New England town. One Easter Sunday morning he came to the Church carrying a rusty, bent, old bird cage, and set it by the pulpit. Eyebrows were raised and, as if in response, Pastor Thomas began to speak..."I was walking through town yesterday when I saw a young boy coming toward me swinging this bird cage. On the bottom of the cage were three little wild birds, shivering with cold and fright. I stopped the lad! and asked, "What you got there, son?" "Just some old birds," came the reply.
"What are you gonna do with them?" I asked.
"Take 'em home and have fun with 'em," he answered. "I'm gonna tease 'em and pull out their feathers to make 'em fight.. I'm gonna have a real good time" "But you'll get tired of those birds sooner or later. What will you do?"
"Oh, I got some cats," said the little boy. "They like birds. I'll take 'em to them."
The pastor was silent for a moment "How much do you want for those birds, son?"
"Huh?? !!! Why, you don't want them birds, mister. They're just plain old field birds. They don't sing. They ain't even pretty!"
"How much?" the pastor asked again
The boy sized up the pastor as if he were crazy and said, "$10?"
The pastor reached in his pocket and took out a ten dollar bill. He placed it in the boy's hand. In a flash, the boy was gone.
The pastor picked up the cage and gently carried it to the end of the alley where there was a tree and a grassy spot Setting the cage down, he opened the door, and by softly tapping the bars persuaded the birds out, setting them free.
Well, that explained the empty bird cage on the pulpit, and then the pastor began to tell this story.
One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, and he was gloating and boasting. "Yes, sir, I just caught the world full of people down there Set me a trap, used bait I knew they couldn't resist. Got 'em all!"
"What are you going to do with them?" Jesus asked.
Satan replied, "Oh, I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna teach them how to marry and divorce each other, how to hate and abuse each other, how to drink and smoke and curse. I'm gonna teach them how to invent guns and bombs and kill each other. I'm really gonna have fun!"
"And what will you do when you get done with them?" Jesus asked. "Oh, I'll kill 'em," Satan glared proudly. "How much do you want for them?" Jesus asked
"Oh, you don't want those people. They ain't no good. Why, you'll take them and they'll just hate you. They'll spit on you, curse you and kill you. You don't want those people!!"
"How much?" He asked again.
Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, "All your blood, tears and your life."
Jesus said, "DONE!"
Then He paid the price.
The pastor picked up the cage he opened the door and he walked from the pulpit.
Notes: Isn't it funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell.
Isn't it funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but still follow Satan (who, by the way, also "believes" in God).

Thanks to Eric Morrison
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F A M I L Y

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.

He said, "Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you."

We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said goodbye.

But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,

"While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.

Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.

Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."

By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.

"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.

I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."

I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.
I love you anyway."

I said, "Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."

FAMILY
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company
that we are working for could easily replace us in
a matter of days.
But the family we left behind will feel the loss
for the rest of their lives.

And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more
into work than into our own family,
an unwise investment indeed,
don't you think?
So what is behind the story?

Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU

Thanks to Laurel J. Becnel
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Activities and Events of Interest
~~~
The Blossom Festival and World Championship Steak Cook-Off is Coming May 19 and 20. If you enjoy beautiful Magnolia Blossoms, good food, great entertainment, and southern hospitality, Magnolia, Arkansas is where you need to be on the third weekend in May.
~~~
Albemarle Kids' Fishing Tournament - June 3
~~~
The Purple Hull Pea Festival is scheduled for June 23 and 24
~~~
The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/

01 Staff Sgt. Emmanuel L. Legaspi, 38, of Las Vegas, Nev., died of injuries sustained in Tal Afar, Iraq, on May 7, when his unit came under enemy small arms fire during combat operations. Legaspi was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 36th Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 1st Armored Division, Friedberg, Germany.

The Department of Defense announced the death of four Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
02. Lance Cpl. Jason K. Burnett, 20, of St. Cloud, Fla.
03. Lance Cpl. David J. GramesSanchez, 22, of Fort Wayne, Ind.
04. 2nd Lt. Michael L. Licalzi, 24, of Garden City, N.Y.
05. Cpl. Steve Vahaviolos, 21, of Airmont, N.Y.
All four Marines died May 11 as a result of a vehicle accident in Al Anbar province, Iraq. All four Marines were assigned to the 2nd Tank Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

06. Spc. Ronald W. Gebur, 23, of Delavan, Ill., died of injuries sustained in Baghdad, Iraq, on May 13, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV during combat operations. Gebur was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 22nd Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

07. Spc. Armer N. Burkart, 26, of Rockville, Md., died of injuries sustained in Baghdad, Iraq, on May 11, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV during combat patrol operations. Burkart was assigned to the 1st Squadron, 71st Cavalry Regiment, 10th Mountain Division, Fort Drum, N.Y.


08. Lance Cpl. Adam C. Conboy, 21, of Philadelphia, Pa., died May 12, as a result of a non-hostile incident in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Base Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Baghdad, Iraq, on May 11, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their HMMWV during combat patrol operations. Both soldiers were assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 6th Field Artillery Regiment, 10th Mountain Division, Fort Drum, N.Y.
Killed were:
09. Pfc. Eric D. Clark, 22, of Pleasant Prairie, Wis.
10. Pfc. Stephen P. Snowberger III, 18, of Lopez, Pa.

11. Lance Cpl. Richard Z. James, 20, of Seaford, Del., died May 13, while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
12. Lance Cpl. Jose S. MarinDominguez Jr., 22, of Liberal, Kan.
13. Lance Cpl. Hatak Yuka Keyu M. Yearby, 21, of Overbrook, Okla.
Both Marines died May 14, while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar province, Iraq. They were both assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Base Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii.

14. Spc. Brandon L. Teeters, 21, of Lafayette, La., died on May 12, in Ludwigshafen, Germany, of injuries sustained on April 20, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his Bradley Fighting Vehicle during combat operations in Baghdad, Iraq. Teeters was assigned to the 8th Squadron, 10th Cavalry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, Fort Hood, Texas.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Baghdad, Iraq, on May 15, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their vehicle during combat patrol operations. Both soldiers were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 8th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Heavy Brigade Combat Team, Fort Carson, Colo.
Killed were:
15. Staff Sgt. Marion Flint Jr., 29, of Baltimore, Md.
16. Pfc. Grant A. Dampier, 25, of Merrill, Wis.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died on May 14, in Yusufiyah, Iraq, when their aircraft was shot down during combat operations. Both soldiers were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 160th Special Operations Aviation Regiment (Airborne), Fort Campbell, Ky. Killed were:
17. Maj. Matthew W. Worrell, 34, of Lewisville, Texas.
18. Chief Warrant Officer 5 Jamie D. Weeks, 47 of Daleville, Ala


19. Capt. Shane R. Mahaffee, 36, of Alexandria, Va., died on May 15, in Landstuhl Regional Medical Center, Landstuhl, of injuries sustained on May 5, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV during combat patrol operations in Al Hillah, Iraq. Mahaffee was assigned to the Army Reserve's 489th Civil Affairs Battalion, Knoxville, Tenn.

20. Staff Sgt. Santiago M. Halsel, 32, of Bowling Green, Ky., died of injuries sustained in Baghdad, Iraq, on May 16, when an improvised explosive device detonated while he was conducting a dismounted clearance mission during combat operations. Halsel was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 502nd Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Baghdad, Iraq, on May 14, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their HMMWV during combat operations. 1st Battalion, 312th Training Support Battalion, 4th Brigade, 78th Division (Training Support) , Fort Bragg, N.C. Killed were:
21. Chief Warrant Officer 4, John W. Engeman, 45, of East North Port, N.Y.
22. Master Sgt. Robert H. West, 37, of Elyria, Ohio

23. Cpl. William B. Fulks, 23, of Culloden, W.Va., died May 18, at Brooke Army Medical Center, San Antonio, from wounds received while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar province, Iraq, on May 1. He was assigned to the 2nd Reconnaissance Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

http://icasualties.org/oif/default.aspx
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Volume 11, Number 53 --- 16 May 2006
Tourbus Home -- http://www.InternetTourbus.com
+---------------------------------------+

TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPICS: Google Desktop / Free Fax / Myspace

In today's TOURBUS, find out who is claiming that Google's Desktop software is Evil, and why. Also in this issue, how to send a free fax on the 'Net, and more articles in my series about Myspace safety and privacy. Read on!

-------------------------
Is Google Desktop Evil?
-------------------------

A reader concerned about online privacy wrote to me and asked:

"I got a warning from a friend who told me not to use the Google Desktop program. He says it will secretly make copies of my personal files and send them to Google's own servers, and they could also be made available to the government. Is this true?"

If you've gotten a copy of an email saying things like "Google Copies Your Hard Drive - Government Smiles in Anticipation" and "Consumers Should Not Use New Google Desktop" -- you can relax... the Google Desktop software won't secretly send copies of your love letters to Uncle Sam. Here's the truth about the "Search Across Computers" feature that was added to Google Desktop software earlier this year.

Yes, it's true that if you use the Search Across Computers feature, Google Desktop will transfer an encrypted copy of certain files to a Google server, so you can search for files on all of your computers at once. It's a handy tool for power users who have files scattered across multiple computers. But nothing is being done in secret, or without your permission, and your personal files are NOT available to other users.

So why are some privacy pundits claiming that if files are stored on Google servers, then the government, business rivals or an ex-spouse could easily obtain them with a subpoena? To get all the facts about the Search Across Computers feature, and the identity of the *real* bad guys in this story, continue reading here:
http://askbobrankin.com/is_google_desktop_evil.html

-----------------
Send a Free Fax
-----------------

Don't have a fax machine? That's no longer an obstacle to sending or receiving a fax. And the news is even better than that. You can use the Internet to send a fax for free.

There are a bunch of websites that make this claim, but some of them ask for your credit card in order to open a "free trial account." If you want a truly FREE internet fax service, with no strings attached, then FaxZero fits the bill. It will help you send a fax to any fax machine in the United States (including Puerto Rico) or Canada for free. For complete details on how it works, and other free fax alternatives, click here:

http://askbobrankin.com/send_a_free_fax.html

-----------------------------
Myspace: Safety and Privacy
-----------------------------

Are you concerned about young teens who are using Myspace? I've written a series of articles that look closely how kids are using Myspace, what they (and their parents) can do to stay safe, and the privacy concerns of social networking that you may not have thought about. Here are some of the articles in the series:

* [PRIVATE MYSPACE PROFILE] - "My child is 16 and has a Myspace page. He tells me the only way to make his Myspace profile private is to set his age to 14 or 15 years old. Is there a way to set the account to private (so only friends can visit their page) without lying about your age?"
http://askbobrankin.com/private_myspace_profile.html

* [BLOCKING MYSPACE] - "My daughter is 12 years old and I just found out she has a Myspace account with some inappropriate content. The account was deleted, but I want to make sure she has no access to Myspace in the future. How can I do this?"

http://askbobrankin.com/blocking_myspace.html

* [MYSPACE SAFETY TIPS] - Are teens putting themselves at risk by posting too much personal information on Myspace? Is Myspace a danger to kids that should be tightly controlled or shut down?

http://askbobrankin.com/myspace_safety_tips.html

If you are a regular user of Myspace and want to learn more about customizing your Myspace home page, or how to use the advanced search features, read these other articles in the Myspace series:

* [MYSPACE LAYOUTS]
http://askbobrankin.com/myspace_layouts.html

* [ADDING MUSIC TO MYSPACE]
http://askbobrankin.com/add_music_to_myspace.html

* [MYSPACE GRAPHICS]
http://askbobrankin.com/myspace_graphics.html

* [SEARCHING IN MYSPACE]
http://askbobrankin.com/searching_in_myspace.html

+---------------------------------------+
That's all for now, see you next time! -- Bob Rankin
+---------------------------------------+
==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]==
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238 Copyright 1995-2005, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved Tourbus News Service - http://tourbus.com/news.html Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the Tourbus Website - http://www.TOURBUS.com
========================
.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Scheduled Activities
~~~
Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 8 p.m. Monday - Friday. At noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and at 7 p.m. Sunday at 914 N. Vine
~~~
Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
~~~
Columbia County Diabetes Support Group - Every third Monday, 7:00 p.m. room 222, Magnolia Hospital
~~~
"Focus on the Family" with Dr. James Dobson weekday afternoons at 1 PM on KVMA am 630 it's a great show!
~~~
MCC - Abraham Prayer - Sunday at 5:00 p.m and Wednesday from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm
~~~
MCC - Early Morning Prayer - Monday - Friday, From 6:30 am to 8:00 am
~~~
MCC - "Beth Moore" Video Class - Thursday nights at 5:45 pm
~~~
MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets at 1051 Columbia 36 the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
~~~
MCC - Firm Foundations Class, Sunday 9:30 to 10:15 a.m
~~~
MCC - Meadow Brook Nursing Home Ministry Tuesday from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m
~~~
MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
~~~
MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
~~~
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
~~~
Narcotics Anonymous 5-6 pm every Monday at 220 Pine street.
~~~
TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) 5 pm every Tuesday in the Magnolia Hospital break room.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Psa 145:1-3 Luke 24:9-11 Psa 119:162-165 Psa 71:7-8 Mat 7:16-20 James 5:16 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. For the "Blog" version just go to http://bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com/ to see the latest issue. We also have a site [http://bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com/] where we post photos that I like.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. Of course "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com to see the latest issue (usually updated sometime Friday evening or Saturday morning. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2006 before it was sent.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: The Poor Tailor and the French Restaurant

Our MCC folks at one of our latest "Faith" Luck dinners
Sister Lesley Walthall admiring one of her birthday presents
Dr. Pullig and our favorite nurse, Nancy Terry at his retirement reception 

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: The Poor Tailor and the French Restaurant

Volume 8, Issue 19 Friday, May 12, 2006

Hello All,

Our apologies again. This Bleat was delayed by a wedding that I worked at Magnolia Christian Center on the 12th and 13th of May, as well as remodeling our living room and kitchen. We’re valiantly working to catch up with our publication schedule.
~~~~~
We were saddened to learn of the death of Chris Watson, a subscriber, friend, coworker and brother in Christ. He fought a good fight and showed us the depth of his courage and humanity.
~~~~~
SAU Alumni Newsletter - May 2006 - - http://www.saumag.edu/alumni/
~~~~~
Don’t forget Mother's Day, Sunday, May 14
~~~~~
MAY NEWS FROM - - http://www.larrynorman.com/
~~~~~
Our friend Norma Kay Rowe took her last radiation treatment May 10!!!!!! She shared the following praise report. “I am so excited I just had to share my good news!!!!! Looking back, to September 2005 when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, to now, seems like a dream. This day seemed so far away. God has healed me and I am so blessed and I know that! I HAVE HAIR!! HA! It is VERY grey! My mother is so funny about it. I was telling her I couldn't believe the color and she said,” Well, you are 51 years old, it is supposed to be that color." The wisdom of mothers!!!! Thank you again for all the prayers, cards, phone calls and concern. It has been overwhelming. I never expected it. I am so thankful for your love and friendship. May God always bless you. Norma Kay”
~~~~~
Important, informed voices are speaking. It is important to listen. We encourage you to go to www.michaelyon-online.com A new photo essay from Afghanistan is posted also check out the Vox Sententia for an article about a courageous Iraqi soldier shot 12 times now recuperating in Georgia .
~~~~~
The photos on the front of this weeks “Bleat” include sister Lesley Walthall admiring one of her birthday presents, Dr. Pullig and our favorite nurse Nancy Terry at his going away party. And our MCC folks at one of our latest “Faith” Luck dinners.
~~~~~
In 1950, a local Magnolia, Arkansas art teacher, Ms. Marjorie Chamberlain began a Sidewalk Art Show to display her students paintings. The show was held each year in May around the Columbia County Courthouse beneath the beautiful magnolia trees that grace the historic Courthouse lawn. In time, Ms. Chamberlain was joined by the members of the Sorosis Club, Chamber of Commerce and Arkansas State Arts and Humanities Department to help make the Art Show a tremendous success. For 30 years the Art Show was one of the largest attractions to the town of Magnolia.

Then in 1989 the first Magnolia Blossom Festival was held in conjunction with the Art Show on the third weekend in May. The Festival was expanded and given a distinguishing trademark with the addition of the first World Championship Steak Cook-Off.

This year’s Blossom Festival celebrates the 100th anniversary of the Columbia County Courthouse. On Tuesday, May 16 at 2 pm there will be a birthday party on the Courthouse lawn. The plaque dedication ceremony will be held on Saturday, May 19 at 1 pm. This year’s Blossom Festival T-shirt design features the courthouse in honor of the 100th anniversary celebration. T-shirts, polo shirts, caps and straw hats are available at Jennifer’s on the square and area banks.

This year’s festivities will be held May 19-20. Visitors from all over the United States from coast to coast (Vermont to California) and even Canada will flock to southwest Arkansas to take part in the World Championship Steak Cook-Off and cooker parade, entertainment, sidewalk art show, and unique crafts and fun and amusement for kids of all ages. Also joining us for the first time ever this year are the Budweiser Clydesdales.

The Navy band will perform Thursday night at 7 pm at the First United Methodist Church. Tickets are free and are available to the first 500 people to pick them up at City Hall.

Joining the festival for the first time ever are the Budweiser Clydesdales who will be staying at the new SAU Stables with a busy schedule for the entire week. Their schedule will be announced soon.

Saturday, the parade of cookers begins at 10:30 am when all the proud competitors show off their rigs for a chance at winning trophies and three $500 cash prizes for Showmanship, Best in Parade and Rig Construction. Following the parade, the cookers line up around the square to start preparing their award winning steaks. At 6:00 pm the hungry festival-goers line up to partake of the juicy cooked to perfection steaks while the judges make their final decision. At 7:00 pm Governor Mike Huckabee will present a cash award of $2,500 and the 2006 Governor’s trophy to the World Championship Cooking Team for 2006!

Producers and staff from High Noon Entertainment out of Colorado will be in Magnolia for the Blossom Festival to film the steak cooking teams in the World Championship Steak Cook-Off for the Food Network. They are already gathering story lines on new teams, top contenders, secret recipes and anything exotic, super-culinary or just super fun. The show will later be aired on the Food Network Challenge series.

You’ll have to get an early start on Saturday, May 19 to join the 5K Road Race and Walk at 8:00 am followed by a Fun Run at 9:30 am. A K-9 Fun Show for dogs will be held at 9 am. Other events during the day include the Antique Car Show, Motorcycle Show, the Tom Dehoney Memorial Fishing Tournament, craft shows and sales, 56th Annual Sidewalk Art Show, and lots of activities for the kids.

This year we are privileged to have several Magnolia natives returning to perform for all their friends and families here in Magnolia. Friday night will consist of the R&B sounds of Costie Payne at 6:30 pm followed by the return of Josh Matheny and his band Kingbilly at 8:00 pm. Saturday night kicks off with the high energy, rockn’ sounds of local band Alchemy followed by Country Music recording star Brandon Giles at 8:30 as he makes a homecoming visit to headline and close out the 2006 Blossom Festival Admission to the festival is free. Tickets are required for the steak supper and must be purchased in advance. Contact the Magnolia-Columbia County Chamber of Commerce at 870-234-4352 for more information or visit the official website www.blossomfestival.org designed and hosted by Magnolia Internet Services.
~~~~~
Don’t forget to check out www.mcc2000.net
~~~~~
The next Albemarle Kids' Fishing Tournament will be Saturday June 3.
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com.
Older issues can be found at http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com,
http://www.bugsbleat3q.blogspot.com, and
http://www.bugsbleat4q.blogspot.com. Our photos are now posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
www.aaa.com Regular
Current Avg. $ 2.75
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - We’re sharing recipes from Shannon Voigt’s new Taylor Recipe Book
Angel Biscuits - - Gertrude Taylor

Ingredients:
1 pkg dry yeast
2 Tbsp. warm water
5 cups flour
¼ cup sugar
3 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. soda
1 cup shortening
3 cups buttermilk

Method:
In warm water combine dry ingredients, cut in shortening and add yeast and buttermilk. Knead well; roll out and cut with biscuit cutter. Slash and fold over. Bake at 375º for 15 to 20 minutes. Dough may be refrigerated and used as needed. My favorite.
~~~~~
BreakPoint
With Chuck Colson
Marriage & Family
The ‘Son of So Many Tears’
5/12/2006

A Christian Mother’s Story

This upcoming Sunday is Mother’s Day. It’s the day when Americans remember and celebrate the contributions and sacrifices their moms have made on their behalf.

In honor of Mother’s Day, I’d like to tell you a story about one mother whose devotion shaped not only her son’s life but countless others, as well.

Her name was Monica. A Christian, she was married to a prominent man who wasn’t a believer. He was unfaithful and even beat her at times. Monica’s response was to go to church every day and pray for his conversion. She hoped that by setting a godly example, even in the midst of her mistreatment, she might win him over. And that’s exactly what happened.

The suffering and anguish caused by her husband paled before what Monica’s oldest son put her through. He lived a dissolute life, devoted to pleasure. He left one mistress and took up with another. His only son was born out-of-wedlock.

His lack of faith and rejection of Christian truth hurt Monica even more. He belittled her beliefs and seemed to go out of his way to embrace Christianity’s competitors for the hearts and, especially, minds of his contemporaries. He later recalled how his being “dead [to] that faith and spirit which,” as he put it, “[my mother] had from you . . . O, Lord” made her weep.

Still, Monica never gave up. The greatest preacher of the time, knowing of her prayers and tears for her son, told her that “it is impossible that the son of so many tears should perish.”

That preacher, Bishop Ambrose of Milan, was right. At the age of 35, Monica’s son, Augustine, became a Christian and was baptized, along with his son, Adeodatus, by Ambrose. A few months later, on the way home to Hippo with Augustine and Adeodatus, Monica fell ill and died.

Monica could not have known that her prayers and devotion would affect not only the life of her son but also the course of history. Her concern was that her son believe “the truth which is in Jesus.”

This devotion to the spiritual welfare of her son is why Monica is regarded as the model for all Christian mothers. Like Susannah Wesley, her zeal for the salvation of her son had an impact far beyond anything she could have imagined.

But there’s another reason why Monica’s story should resonate with “BreakPoint” listeners and readers. Her concern was not only that her son give up his debauchery, as important as that was. Monica was determined that he embrace the truth of Christianity. She prayed that he would renounce false worldviews and put his sharp mind to the service of Christian truth.

And that’s exactly what he did. Augustine championed the Christian worldview against the false alternatives of his day. Much of what Christians believe today was first and best articulated by Monica’s son. His writings, the Confessions and the City of God, are considered classics, not only of the Christian faith, but also of all of Western culture and civilization. Those books have profoundly shaped me and my ministry.

While there can be only one Monica and Augustine, every Christian mother—and father, for that matter—should be concerned with their kids’ worldviews. Praying for them and teaching them to seek after Christian truth is a solemn duty on our part and a contribution they will always remember, whether it is Mother’s Day or any other day of the year.

For Further Reading and Information

Today’s BreakPoint offer: Subscribe today to BreakPoint WorldView magazine! Call 1-877-322-5527.

Read more about Saint Augustine.

St. Augustine, City of God (Image, 1958 edition).

Read St. Augustine’s Confessions.

Jessica Steinmetz, “Feast Day—August 27,” (about Saint Monica), About.com.

Read more about Saint Monica.

“Monica of Hippo,” Wikipedia.

Roberto Rivera, “If We Meet Again: Roberto Reflects on the Passing of His Mother,” BreakPoint Online, 17 November 2003.

Matthew B. O’Brien, “Motherhood . . . and the Meaning of Marriage,” To the Source, 9 May 2006.

The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics.
© 2004 Prison Fellowship.
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
rapine: the act of plundering.
pablum: something (as writing or speech) that is trite, insipid, or simplistic.
aspersion: a damaging or derogatory remark.
otiose: ineffective; also, being at leisure; also, of no use.
turgid: swollen, bloated; also, bombastic, pompous.
derogate: to deviate from expectation; also, to detract; also, to disparage.
virtu: love of or taste for fine objects of art; also, productions of art.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"A martyr's disciples suffer more than the martyr." - Friedrich Nietzsche

"The republic is a dream. Nothing happens unless first a dream." - Carl Sandburg

"The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper." - Eden Phillpotts

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt

"Anger is a brief lunacy." - Horace

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." - Ernest Hemingway

"The wise man must be wise before, not after." - Epicharmus
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

Is New York City on the Brink of Revival?
Paul Strand / Aimee Herd reporting (May 7, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2479
"[It's] below the surface, and at 12 noon, as it was in 1858, we are on our knees, crying out to God that He will be the root...because we are only the branches"

Australian Miners Rescued Today after Almost Two Weeks
AP Staff / Aimee Herd reporting (May 8, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2483
Brant Webb and Todd Russell, trapped in the Beaconsfield Gold Mine for nearly two weeks, were freed today by rescuers.

Daystar TV Forges New Ground as First Network to Broadcast 100 Percent Christian Content into Every Home in Israel
Michael Ireland (May 9, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2487
"This is a first. Never before has the nation of Israel granted a license for a 100 percent Christian Channel to broadcast into all of Israel."

France Holds Europe's First National Day of Remembrance for Victims of Slavery
Clive Myrie/Teresa Neumann Reporting (May 10, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2491
President Jacques Chirac is leading France in "facing up to France's colonial past" by commemorating Slavery Remembrance Day today.

"Triple Whammy" Antibodies Have Unprecedented Success in Destroying Cancer
Prashant Nair/Teresa Neumann Reporting (May 11, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2495
"Not only does the treatment destroy tumors - even when they have spread around the body - it also prevents the tumors coming back."

The Stunning Connection Between John Lennon and The Da Vinci Code
Op/Ed by Steve Shultz, BCN Founding Editor (May 12, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2499
One of my sayings is "who would've thunk?" I'm asking that now about the connection between John Lennon's Imagine, and the Da Vinci Code. Who would have "thunk" this would work again?

What Even the Large Media Outlets Don't Allow You to Know: George Bush has 95 Percent Support by Social Conservatives
News Staff / Steve Shultz, Aimee Herd reporting (May 12, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2500
FOUNDING EDITOR'S NOTE: Though this article, in its entirety, is negative and cynical, as per the excerpts below, the author must confess that 95% of Social Conservatives support George W. Bush, even more than his father was supported. Why do you suppose the media doesn't want you to know this? - Steve Shultz, Breaking Christian News.
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GCF: The Poor Tailor and the French Restaurant

Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day) -Tom To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to: martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@egroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/ UNSUBSCRIBE INFO for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2005 before it was sent.
---------------------------------

Old Abraham was a poor tailor whose shop was next door to a very upscale French restaurant. Every day at lunch time, Abraham would go out the back of his shop and eat his black bread and herring while smelling the wonderful odors coming from the restaurant's kitchen.

One day, Abraham was surprised to receive an invoice from the restaurant for 'enjoyment of food'. So he went to the restaurant to point out that he had not bought anything from them. The manager said, "You're enjoying our food, so you should pay us for it."

Abraham refused to pay and the restaurant sued him. At the hearing, the judge asked the restaurant to present their side of the case. The manager said, "Every day, this man comes and sits outside our kitchen and smells our food while eating his. It is clear that we are providing added value to his poor food and we deserve to be compensated for it."

The judge turns to Abraham and said, "What do you have to say to that?"

Abraham didn't say anything but stuck his hand in his pocket and rattled the few coins he had inside.

The judge asked him, "What is the meaning of that?"

Abraham replied, "I'm paying for the smell of his food with the sound of my money."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: How to Train a Cat

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe
---------------------------------

Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of our new sofa as a scratching post. "Don't worry," my husband reassured me. "I'll have him trained in no time."

I watched for several days as my husband patiently "trained" our new pet. Whenever the cat scratched, my husband deposited him outdoors to teach him a lesson.

The cat learned quickly. For the next 16 years, whenever he wanted to go outside, he scratched the back of the sofa.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Passwords!

Found at The Shark Tank (Computerworld) -Tom
http://www.computerworld.com/action/sharktank.do?command=viewDailyFull&date=20060509&source=NLT_SHARK&nlid=6
---------------------------------

This consultant is working on a Web development project for a client, and he's also got a nontechnical intern to keep busy. Fortunately, that's a solution, not a problem.

"Part of the project included setting up about 150 user accounts for the client's customers to log in to a secure portion of the site and download their reports," says the consultant.

"Setting up 150 user accounts seemed like a simple enough job, would keep our intern busy and took a task off my plate. I gave him a list of usernames and showed him how to set up accounts on the server."

In fact, he gives the intern some further guidance. From past experience, he knows that passwords consisting of random letters and numbers make security gurus happy but drive users crazy -- either users can't remember the gibberish passwords or they constantly mistype them.

He explains all this to the intern and instructs him to create passwords that consist of a word from the dictionary, followed by two or three digits.

Next day, the consultant checks with intern to make sure the job is complete. The intern shows him the list of passwords. And sure enough, he's done exactly what the consultant suggested -- with one extra twist.

"Rather than creating passwords like 'book345' or 'house57,' he instead found a list of the 200 most commonly misspelled words to generate the passwords," the consultant groans.

"Being under a tight deadline, there was no time to create new passwords and test them. So we launched the Web site and gave the users their passwords. As expected, we fielded numerous support calls from users trying to enter passwords such as 'accommodate85' and 'asphyxiate33.' "
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Two-Part Question

Emailed to me from another humor list (You Make Me Laugh) -Tom To subscribe to You Make Me Laugh, send a blank email to: SUBSCRIBE-laugh@lists.crosswalk.com
---------------------------------

Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $1,000,000 Question TV Quiz Show. The night before the big question, he told the host that he desired a question on American History.

The big night arrived. Bob made his way on stage in front of the studio and TV audience. He had become the talk of the town. He was the best guest this show had ever seen. The host stepped up to the microphone.

"Bob, you have chosen American History as your final question. You know that if you correctly answer this question, you will walk away one million dollars richer. Are you ready?"

Bob nodded with a cocky confidence -- the crowd went nuts. He hadn't missed a question all week.

"Bob, yours is a two-part question. As you know, you may answer either part first. As a rule, the second half of the question is always easier. Which part would you like to take a stab at first?"

Bob was becoming more noticeably nervous. He couldn't believe it. He was not sure, but American History was his best subject, so he played it safe.

"I'll try the easier part first."

The host nodded approvingly. "Here we go, Bob. I will ask you the second half first, then the first half."

The audience grew silent with anticipation.....

"Bob, here is your question: And in what year did it happen?"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Dear Abby (Mother of the Bride)

From the GCF Archives (July 2004)
---------------------------------

DEAR ABBY: "P.O. in New Jersey" was angry because her sister-in-law purchased an identical wedding dress after seeing hers. Here's another way she could handle the situation:

The wedding day was fast approaching. Everything was ready and nothing could dampen Jennifer's excitement, not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother had finally found the perfect dress and felt she would be the best-dressed mother of the bride ever!

A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn her new young stepmother, Barbie, had purchased the same dress. She asked Barbie to exchange it, but Barbie refused. "Absolutely not! I'm going to wear this dress. I'll look like a million bucks in it."

Jennifer relayed the conversation to her mother, who graciously replied, "Never mind, dear. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day, not hers." Two weeks later, another dress was finally found. When they stopped for lunch that day, Jennifer asked, "What are you going to do with the first dress? Maybe you should return it. You don't have any place to wear it."

Her mother grinned and replied, "Of course, I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner!" -- JUDITH, HOUSTON

Abby's Response:
DEAR JUDITH: I like her sense of humor.
_ ____________________________ _
(((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / My ship came in, \ /
\ _/ but I was at the train station. \_ /
/ / \ (((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / You know you're over the hill \ /
\ _/ when "Happy Hour" now consists \_ /
/ / of a nap. \ (((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Eagles may soar, but weasels \ /
\ _/ aren't sucked into jet engines. \_ /
/ / \ (((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Eagles may soar, but weasels \ /
\ _/ aren't sucked into jet engines. \_ /
/ / \ (((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I went for a drive today \ /
\ _/ in the country \_ /
/ / and passed a camouflage store. \ But you couldn't see it.
_ ____________________________ _
Thomas S. Ellsworth
tellswor@slonet.org
http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor
____________________________
Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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[GCFL.net] The Stopped Burglar

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of Church services when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled, "Stop! Acts 2:38!" (Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.)

The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you."

"Scripture?" replied the burglar. "She said she had an Ax and Two 38's!"

Received from Frank.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Shoes

Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed it was over eleven years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a decade ago.

"Do you think the shoes will still be in the shop?" Arnold asked.

"Not very likely," his wife said.

"It's worth a try," Arnold said, pocketing the ticket.

He went downstairs, hopped into the car, and drove to the store.

With a straight face, he handed the ticket to the man behind the counter. With a face just as straight, the man said, "Just a minute. I'll have to look for these."

He disappeared into a dark corner at the back of the shop.

Two minutes later, the man called out, "Here they are!"

"No kidding?" Arnold called back. "That's terrific! Who would have thought they'd still be here after all this time."

The man came back to the counter, empty-handed.

"They'll be ready Thursday," he said calmly.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Dead Donkey

Morris, a city boy, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, but I have some bad news. The donkey died."

"Well, then, just give me my money back."

"Can't do that. I went and spent it already."

"OK, then. Just unload the donkey."

"What ya gonna do with him?"

"I'm going to raffle him off."

"You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

"Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."

A month later the farmer met up with the city boy and asked, "Whatever happened with that dead donkey?"

"I raffled him off. I sold five hundred tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $998."

"Didn't anyone complain?"

"Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Mother of the Bride

Her big church wedding was fast approaching, and my friend was delighted to hear that her mom, emerging from a nasty divorce, had finally found the perfect mother-of-the-bride dress.

Two days later, she was shocked to learn that her new young stepmother had purchased the same dress.

My friend asked her stepmother to buy another dress since her mom had already altered her purchase.

Her new stepmother refused.

After two more weeks of frustrating shopping, the bride's mom found a dress that was not as nice as the first, but would serve.

When asked by a friend what she would do with her original dress, she grinned and replied, "I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner!"

Received from Dolores A O'Neill.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Mother's Day Funnies

The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool.

"Everyone knows," the mother lectured him, "that from time to time, young children will urinate in a pool."

"Oh really?" said the lifeguard, "from the diving board!?!?"

* * * * Choosing Your Husband * * * *

If it's true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why so many mothers cry so much at weddings.

* * * * The Younger Generations* * * *

Parents often talk about the younger generations as if they didn't have anything to do with it.

* * * * What is an Antique? * * * *

An antique is something your grandmother bought, your mother threw out, and you are now buying back.

* * * Things Mom Would Never Say * * *

1. "How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"

2. "Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too."

3. "Just leave all the lights on ... it makes the house look more cheery."

4. "Let me smell that shirt -- Yeah, it's good for another week."

5. "Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day."

6. "Well, if Timmy's mom says it's OK, that's good enough for me."

7. "The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here."

8. "I don't have a tissue with me ... just use your sleeve."

9. "Don't bother wearing a jacket - the wind-chill is bound to improve."

Received from FranCMT2.

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Rate this funny at http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
To print or email this funny to others, go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php
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Obedient Wife

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife, "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."

And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!"

She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket.

Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away. So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband."

The loyal wife replied," Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?"

"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a check. If he can cash it, he can spend it."

Thanks to John Chadsey
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Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large, raging violent river.

Needing to get on the other side, the first man prayed, "God, please give me
the strength to cross the river. Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that, the second man prayed, "God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river." Poof! God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed, "God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the river." Poof! He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.

Thanks to John Chadsey
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Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false?

1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.
3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 years.
4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.
5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart!
6. Only 7 per cent of the population are lefties.
7. Forty people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.
8. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old.
9. The average person over 50 will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.
10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.
11. The average housefly lives for one month.
12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.
13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.
14 The average computer user blink s 7 times a minute.
15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than any other time of day.
16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.
17. The REAL reason ostrich’s stick their head in the sand is to search for water.
18. The only two animals that can see behind themselves without turning their heads are the rabbit and the parrot.
19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a Gentleman" and "Tootsie."
20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem.
21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.
22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane, just in case there is a crash.
23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.
24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are used in vein transplant surgery.
25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th cousins.
26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.

See answers below
...
...
...
They are all supposedly true.... Who knows, maybe they are. Now go back and think about #16

Thanks to John Chadsey
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In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 18.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side.

And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast. God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep -fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good."

And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then Satan created HMOs.

Thanks to David Lamb
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About 3 a.m. one very cold morning in march 2004, a state police officer responded to a call: there was a car off the shoulder of the road on the outskirts of Casper. He located the car, stuck in deep snow and with the engine still running.

Pulling in behind the car with his emergency lights on, the officer walked to the driver's door to find an older man passed out behind the wheel with a nearly empty vodka bottle on the seat beside him.

The driver came awake when the officer tapped on the window. Seeing the rotating lights in his rear view mirror and the state policeman standing next to his car, the man panicked, jerked the gearshift into "drive" and hit the gas. The car's speedometer was showing 20-30-40 and then 50 mph, but it was still stuck in the snow, wheels spinning.

The policeman, having a sense of humor, began running in place next to the speeding, but still stationary, car.

The driver was totally freaked thinking the officer was actually keeping up with him.

This goes on for about 30 seconds when the patrolman yelled at the man ordering him to "pull over!" the man obeyed, turned his wheel and stopped the engine.

Needless to say, the man from Casper was arrested and is probably still shaking his head over the state patrolman who could run 50 miles per hour.

Who says policemen don't have a sense of humor?

Thanks to David Lamb
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Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.

*Prison Sentence*

Jimmy was sent to prison for his crimes but he told the warden he wasn't worried at all about serving his full term.

The warden asked him why, since most prisoners immediately start planning how they can get out early.

Jimmy replied, "Well, my wife has never let me finish a sentence the whole time I've been married!"

(-:][:-)

*Scale Pondering*

Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store.

"Have you ever seen one of these before?" one asked.

"Yeah, my mom and dad have one," the other replied.

"What's it for?" asked the first boy.

"I don't know," the second boy answered. "I think you stand on it and it either makes you mad or cry. That's what it does to my Dad and Mom."

(-:][:-)

*Roman Numerals*

One of my college friends asked a group of us for advice on organizing his final report for the year.

"Why don't you use Roman numerals to head the different sections?" another friend suggested.

"I thought of that," he replied. "But my keyboard doesn't have Roman numerals on it."

(-:][:-)

*Navy Shots*

While I'm not sure of the procedure now, when I was in the Navy, every so often, you got umpteen shots, whether you needed them or not. The carrier pilot in front of me as we passed thru the line asked for a drink of water after receiving what seemed to be at least a dozen different needles.

The Corpsman asked if he was dizzy.

"No, not at all." he replied. "I just wanna see if I'm still water-tight."

(-:][:-)

*Software Training*

A fellow computer programmer for a consulting group had designed some software for one of our largest accounts. He asked my help in putting it into operation.

At first, he handled most of the work. Eventually, though, he asked me to help with the last phase of the training.

When I sat down with one woman and told her I would be showing her how to make changes to the files, she sighed with relief. "I'm so glad you're teaching me instead of him."

Surprised, I said that my colleague was far more experienced than I was.

"Yes," she said, "but I feel much more comfortable with you. I get nervous around really smart people."

Eye Laugh

"BF Fight"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=36

"Oak Street"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw241

"Abstract Failure"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=35

"Noting But Air"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw240

"Jeopardy"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw231

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/bugged.html - - Bugged By Ads "If you saw what looked like an insect on your television screen, what weapon would you reach for? A wad of tissues, perhaps? Okay, let's make the bug more menacing than your average house invader -- let's make it a cockroach. I'm guessing you'd grab a sacrificial magazine, roll it up, and take a swing at the screen. A swing strong enough to demolish the roach (you hope), while leaving your TV set more or less intact..."
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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PC World's Info Centers - - http://www.pcworld.com/resource/allinfocenters.asp - - Doing product research? Wondering about spyware, Windows, and other major technology topics? Provisioning your small business or home office? This PC World site provides a one-stop shop for everything you need: reviews, charts, how-to's, articles, downloads, and pricing info on the products and topics that most interest you.
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New York Times: Obituaries - - http://www.nytimes.com/pages/obituaries/ - - This site is the online version of the New York Times obituaries. Find newspaper obituaries and online obituaries. Read an historical obituary or a celebrity obituary. NOTE: you must register (free) with the paper before you can read the articles.
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U.S. Legal Documents and Forms - - http://www.uslegalforms.com/ - - U.S. Legal Forms is the original and premiere site for legal forms on the Internet. Over 36,000 legal documents and forms, including wills, name change, real estate and more.
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Mortgage Calculator - - http://www.bankrate.com/brm/mortgage-calculator.asp - - Enter the requested information and click "calculate" to see the results. Also available is a amortization feature, which allows you to create a customized amortization table for your loan.
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CIA: The World Factbook - - http://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/ - - The World Factbook remains the CIA's most widely disseminated and most popular product, now averaging more than 6 million visits each month. In addition, tens of thousands of government, commercial, academic, and other Web sites link to or replicate the online version of the Factbook. Although this reference site provides information as of 5 May 2006, it will be updated biweekly throughout the year to provide wide-ranging and hard-to-locate information about the background, geography, people, government, economy, communications, transportation, military, and transnational issues for countries from Afghanistan to Zimbabwe.
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Kid-safe Directories and Search Engines - - http://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/ - - The kid-safe directories listed on this site by SearchEngineWatch use human beings to filter out sites that might be considered objectionable for viewing by children. These usually include sites that deal with explicit sexual matters, porn sites, violence, hate speech, gambling and drug use.
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JetStream - - http://www.srh.noaa.gov/srh/jetstream/ - - This site is designed to help you learn about weather and weather safety. The information contained in JetStream is arranged by subject; beginning with global and large scale weather patterns followed by lessons on air masses, wind patterns, cloud formations, thunderstorms, lightning, hail, damaging winds, tornados, tropical storms, cyclones and flooding.
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------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
May 5, 2006
Think Safety While Enjoying the Outdoors
Today's Message is from Mo Munoz (a Houston Albemarle employee).

It is always so sad to hear of bad incidents that occur when someone is trying to enjoy some time out in the woods or water.

Recently, a mother lost her daughter to an attack from a bear. There are always reports of sharks attacking swimmers. Were these people careless or unaware of the possible dangers in the woods or water? Maybe, but I don't believe they were. Most persons are so involved in enjoying themselves that they tend to forget the simple word; "Safety". Whether it is bears, wolves, coyotes, sharks, snakes, or other creatures in the wild, one must remember that we are entering "their" domain.

We are the ones intruding in their daily lives and in their homes and must remember safety for ourselves, our loved ones, and our friends.

In 1963, while training for the 3rd Marine Division Recon Battalion, I lost one friend to a shark and another, my lieutenant, to encephalitis from a mosquito bite he received the same night on a little island off Okinawa. Both of these deaths could have been avoided.

While in rubber boats at night approaching this little island, with the moonlight we could see a shark's dorsal fin close to our boats and the word was passed on to the lieutenant in the lead boat to call back our scout swimmer but he didn't.

The mosquito bite could have been avoided if we had been issued some type of mosquito repellant and we were not. Everyone received mosquito bites that night, but my lieutenant was the only one infected with encephalitis.

It doesn't matter where or what one is doing, whether at work or out somewhere for fun, Safety should always be kept in mind. So this summer, while you are planning your vacation or some time out in the woods or water, please remember to always include anything that will keep you and yours safe and keep thinking "Safety" while enjoying the outdoors.

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
May 3, 2006
Valve Handling

Today's Safety From the Heart message was submitted by David Craig.

Valve Handles: When opening or closing a (manual) valve handle use CAUTION.

On December 2, 2005, while working at the T-19M-1 and T-11M-2 in the process of recovering heptane, in order not to send any heptane to the pollution area, I attempted to close a manual valve at the T-300-9.

While everything seemed to be in order, I put my hand on the valve handle and then pushed the handle toward the closed position when it came off. My left thumb was injured after jamming into a steel beam next to the valve. The valve handle had a bolt in the center, which wasn't screwed down properly.

Make sure before opening or closing any manual valve that it has been bolted down properly.

David Craig
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ. www.mcc2000.net
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Grandma's Hands

Grandma, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench. She didn't move, just sat with her head down staring at her hands. When I sat down beside her she didn't acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat I wondered if she was OK.

Finally, not really wanting disturb her but wanting to check on her at the same time, I asked her if she was OK. She raised her head and looked at me and smiled. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking," she said in a clear strong voice.

"I didn't mean to disturb you, grandma, but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK," I explained to her.

"Have you ever looked at your hands," she asked. "I mean really looked at your hands?"

I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point she was making.

Grandma smiled and related this story: "Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years. These hands, though wrinkled, shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life.

"They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the floor They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child my mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots.

They held my husband and wiped my tears when he went off to war.

"They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent. They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son. Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special. They wrote my letters to him and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse.

"They have held my children and grandchildren, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand.

"They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw. And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer.

"These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of life. But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home. And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of Christ."

I will never look at my hands the same again. But I remember God reached out and took my grandma's hands and led her home.

When my hands are hurt or sore or when I stroke the face of my children and husband I think of grandma. I know she has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God.

I, too, want to touch the face of God and feel His hands upon my face.

Thanks to "Fuzzy" Vaughn
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TO MEET SUCH A MAN

I sat, with two friends, in the picture window of a quaint restaurant just off the corner of the town-square. The food and the company were both especially good that day.

As we talked, my attention was drawn outside, across the street. There, walking into town, was a man who appeared to be carrying all his worldly goods on his back. He was carrying, a well-worn sign that read, "I will work for food." My heart sank.

I brought him to the attention of my friends and noticed that others around us had stopped eating to focus on him. Heads moved in a mixture of sadness and disbelief.

We continued with our meal, but his image lingered in my mind. We finished our meal and went our separate ways. I had errands to do and quickly set out to accomplish them. I glanced toward the town square, looking somewhat halfheartedly for the strange visitor. I was fearful, knowing that seeing him again would call some response.. I drove through town and saw nothing of him. I made some purchases at a store and got back in my car.

Deep within me, the Spirit of God kept speaking to me: "Don't go back to the office until you've at least driven once more around the square."

Then with some hesitancy, I headed back into town. As I turned the square's third corner, I saw him. He was standing on the steps of the store front church, going through his sack.

I stopped and looked; feeling both compelled to speak to him, yet wanting to drive on. The empty parking space on the corner seemed to be a sign from God: an invitation to park. I pulled in, got out and approached the town's newest visitor.

"Looking for the pastor?" I asked.

"Not really," he replied, "just resting."

"Have you eaten today?"

"Oh, I ate something early this morning.."

"Would you like to have lunch with me?"

"Do you have some work I could do for you?"

"No work," I replied. "I commute here to work from the city, but I would like to take you to lunch."

"Sure," he replied with a smile.

As he began to gather his things, I asked some surface questions. Where you headed?"

"St. Louis."

"Where you from?"

"Oh, all over; mostly Florida."

"How long you been walking?"

"Fourteen years," came the reply.

I knew I had met someone unusual. We sat across from each other in the same restaurant I had left earlier. His face was weathered slightly beyond his 38 years. His eyes were dark yet clear, and he spoke with an eloquence and articulation that was startling. He removed his jacket to reveal a bright red T-shirt that said, "Jesus is The Never Ending Story."

Then Daniel's story began to unfold. He had seen rough times early in life. He'd made some wrong choices and reaped the consequences. Fourteen years earlier, while backpacking across the country, he had stopped on the beach in Daytona. He tried to hire on with some men who were putting up a large tent and some equipment. A concert, he thought.

He was hired, but the tent would not house a concert but revival services, and in those services he saw life more clearly. He gave his life over to God

"Nothing's been the same since," he said, "I felt the Lord telling me to keep walking, and so I did, some 14 years now."

"Ever think of stopping?" I asked.

"Oh, once in a while, when it seems to get the best of me But God has given me this calling. I give out Bibles . That's what's in my sack. I work to buy food and Bibles, and I give them out when His Spirit leads."

I sat amazed. My homeless friend was not homeless. He was on a mission and lived this way by choice. The question burned inside for a moment and then I asked: "What's it like?"

"What?"

"To walk into a town carrying all your things on your back and to show your sign?"

"Oh, it was humiliating at first. People would stare and make comments. Once someone tossed a piece of half-eaten bread and made a gesture that certainly didn't make me feel welcome. But then it

became humbling to realize that God was using me to touch lives and change people's concepts of other folks like me."

My concept was changing, too. We finished our dessert and gathered his things. Just outside the door, he paused. He turned to me and said, "Come Ye blessed of my Father and inherit the kingdom I've prepared for you. For when I was hungry you gave me food, when I was thirsty you gave me drink, a stranger and you took me in."

I felt as if we were on holy ground. "Could you use another Bible?" I asked.

He said he preferred a certain translation. It traveled well and was not too heavy. It was also his personal favorite. "I've read through it 14 times," he said.

"I'm not sure we've got one of those, but let's stop by our church and see" I was able to find my new friend a Bible that would do well, and he seemed very grateful.

"Where are you headed from here?" I asked.

"Well, I found this little map on the back of this amusement park coupon."

"Are you hoping to hire on there for awhile?"

"No, I just figure I should go there. I figure someone under that star right there needs a Bible, so that's where I'm going next."

He smiled, and the warmth of his spirit radiated the sincerity of his mission. I drove him back to the town-square where we'd met two hours earlier, and as we drove, it started raining. We parked and unloaded his things.

"Would you sign my autograph book?" he asked. "I like to keep messages from folks I meet."

I wrote in his little book that his commitment to his calling had touched my life. I encouraged him to stay strong.. And I left him with a verse of scripture from Jeremiah, "I know the plans I have for you, declared the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you; Plans to give you a future and a hope."

"Thanks, man," he said. "I know we just met and we're really just strangers, but I love you."

"I know," I said, "I love you, too." "The Lord is good!"

"Yes, He is. How long has it been since someone hugged you?" I asked.

"A long time," he replied

And so on the busy street corner in the drizzling rain, my new friend and I embraced, and I felt deep inside that I had been changed. He put his things on his back, smiled his winning smile and said, "See you in the New Jerusalem."

"I'll be there!" was my reply.

He began his journey again. He headed away with his sign dangling from his bedroll and pack of Bibles. He stopped, turned and said, "When you see something that makes you think of me, will you pray for me?"

"You bet," I shouted back, "God bless."

"God bless." And that was the last I saw of him.

Late that evening as I left my office, the wind blew strong. The cold front had settled hard upon the town. I bundled up and hurried to my car.. As I sat back and reached for the emergency brake, I saw them... a pair of well-worn brown work gloves neatly laid over the length of the handle. I picked them up and thought of my friend and wondered if his hands would stay warm that night without them.

Then I remembered his words: "If you see something that makes you think of me, will you pray for me?" Today his gloves lie on my desk in my office. They help me to see the world and its people in a new way, and they help me remember those two hours with my unique friend and to pray for his ministry. "See you in the New Jerusalem," he said. Yes, Daniel, I know I will...

Thanks to Quinton Riggins
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THE U IN JESUS

Before U were thought of or time had begun,
God stuck U in the name of His Son.

And each time U pray, you'll see it's true,
You can't spell out JesUs and not include U.

You're a pretty big part of His wonderful name,
For U, He was born; that's why He came.

And His great love for U is the reason He died.
It even takes U to spell crUcified.

Isn't it thrilling and splendidly grand
He rose from the dead, with U in His plan?

The stones split away, the gold trUmpet blew,
and this word resUrrection is spelled with a U.

When JesUs left earth at His upward ascension,
He felt there was one thing He just had to mention.

"Go into the world and tell them it's true
That I love them all - Just like I love U."

Thanks to "Fuzzy" Vaughn
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I had met the Forsyth family a couple of times and I knew they were building a family camp. I assumed they were building it as a sideline. Last week I had the opportunity to sit on a bench under a shade tree with Terry and listen to his testimony. He IS building a family camp in NorthWest Arkansas but it is not a sideline. He was a home building contractor in Texarkana who felt the LORD wanted him to do something different than building houses. He sold his office in Texarkana and moved to Saint Paul and is building a camp. Terry has used the money from the sell of his business to purchase the land, building materials, etc. He is committed to staying debt free on this project so he and his family are building with the help of volunteers. If you are ever up in that neck of the woods stop by and visit with the Forsyth family. They are the real deal.....

http://www.fortrock.org/

Thanks to Randy Dees
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Activities and Events of Interest
~~~
The Barksdale AFB Holiday in Dixie "Defenders Of Liberty" Big Airshow Saturday and Sunday, May 13-14, gates open at 9:00 am, Show starts at 10:00 am
~~~
The Blossom Festival and World Championship Steak Cook-Off is Coming May 19 and 20. If you enjoy beautiful Magnolia Blossoms, good food, great entertainment, and southern hospitality, Magnolia, Arkansas is where you need to be on the third weekend in May.
~~~
Albemarle Kids' Fishing Tournament - June 3
~~~
The Purple Hull Pea Festival is scheduled for June 23 and 24
~~~
The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/

01. Pfc. Alva L. Gaylord, 25, of Carrollton, Mo., died of injuries sustained in Qasr Ar Riyy, Iraq on May 5, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his RG-31 Mine Protected Vehicle during a combat clearing operation. Gaylord was assigned to the Army National Guard's 110th Engineer Battalion, Kansas City, Mo.

02. Pfc. Benjamin T. Zieske, 20, of Concord, Calif., died of injuries sustained in Kirkuk, Iraq on May 3, when an improvised explosive device detonated during a dismounted combat patrol. Zieske was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 327th Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

The Department of Defense announced the death of three soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Baghdad, Iraq on May 5, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their HMMWV during combat operations. Killed were:
03. 1st. Sgt. Carlos N. Saenz, 46, of Las Vegas, Nev.
04. Spc. Teodoro Torres, 29, of Las Vegas, Nev.

05. Sgt. Nathan J. Vacho, 29, of Janesville, Wis.
Saenz and Torres were assigned to the Army Reserve’s 490th Civil Affairs Battalion, Abilene, Texas. Vacho was assigned to the Army Reserve’s 489th Civil Affairs Battalion, Knoxville, Tenn. During Operation Iraqi Freedom, all three were attached to the 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division.

06. Sgt. Matthew J. Fenton, 24, of Little Ferry, N.J., died May 5 at National Naval Medical Center, Bethesda, Md., from wounds received while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar province, Iraq on April 26. He was assigned to Marine Forces Reserve’s Inspector and Instructor Staff, 1st Battalion, 25th Marine Regiment, 4th Marine Division, Fort Devens, Mass.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two Marines, who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
07. Lance Cpl. Leon B. Deraps, 19, of Jamestown, Mo., died May 6 while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to the 7th Engineer Support Battalion, 1st Marine Logistics Group, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.
08. Cpl. Cory L. Palmer, 21, of Seaford, Del., died May 6 at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio, from wounds received while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar province, Iraq, on May 1. He was assigned to the 2nd Reconnaissance Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

09. Staff Sgt. Gregory A. Wagner, 35, of Mitchell, S.D., died of injuries sustained in Baghdad, Iraq, on May 8, when an improvised fire projectile struck his HMMWV during combat operation. Wagner was assigned to the Army National Guard's 1st Battalion, 147th Field Artillery, Yankton, S.D.

The Department of Defense announced the death of 10 soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died east of Abad, Afghanistan, in the Kunar province, on May 5, when their CH-47 Chinook helicopter crashed during combat operations. Killed were:
10. Lt. Col. Joseph J. Fenty, 41, of Fla.
11. Chief Warrant Officer 3 Eric W. Totten, 34, of Texas.
12. Chief Warrant Officer 2 Christopher B. Donaldson, 28, of Ill.
13. Staff Sgt. Christopher T. Howick, 34, of Hamburg, N.Y.
14. Sgt. Bryan A. Brewster, 24, of Fontana, Calif.
15. Sgt. John C. Griffith, 33, of Las Vegas, Nev.
16. Sgt. Jeffery S. Wiekamp, 23, of Utopia, Texas.
17. Spc. Justin L. O’Donohoe, 27, of San Diego, Calif.
18. Spc. David N. Timmons Jr., 23, of Lewisville, N.C.
19. Pfc. Brian M. Moquin Jr., 19, of Worcester, Mass.
All those killed were assigned to the 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry), Fort Drum N.Y. Fenty, O’Donohoe, Timmons and Moquin were part of the 71st Cavalry Regiment. Totten, Donaldson, Howick, Brewster, Griffith, and Wiekamp were part of the 3rd Battalion, 10th Aviation Regiment.


20. Spc. Aaron P. Latimer, 26, of Ennis, Texas, died in Mosul, Iraq, on May 9. Latimer was assigned to the 562nd Engineer Company, 172nd Stryker Brigade Combat Team, Fort Wainwright, Alaska.

21. Sgt. Alessandro Carbonaro, 28, of Bethesda, Md., died May 10, at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center, Germany, from wounds received while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar province, Iraq, on May 1. He was assigned to 2nd Reconnaissance Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Ad Diwaniyah, Iraq, on May 6, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their M1083 cargo truck during combat operations. Both soldiers were assigned to the Army National Guard's 3rd Battalion, 172nd Infantry (Mountain), Brewer, Maine.
Killed were:
22. Staff Sgt. Dale J. Kelly Jr., 48, of Richmond, Maine.
23. Staff Sgt. David M. Veverka, 25, of Jamestown, Pa.

~~

Missing WWII Airmen are Identified The Defense POW/Missing Personnel (DPMO) announced today that two members of a four-man Army Air Forces crew missing in action from World War II have been identified, and are being returned to their families for burial with full military honors.

The four are pilot Capt. Douglas R. Wight of Westfield, N.J.; co-pilot 1st Lt. Herbert W. Evans of Rapid City S.D.; crew chief Cpl. John W. Hanlon of Arnett, Okla.; and radio operator Pfc. Gerald L. Rugers, Jr., of Tacoma, Wash. Evans and Rugers were individually identified, while group remains of all four will be buried at Arlington National Cemetery near Washington, D.C. on Tuesday, May 9.

On March 27, 1944, a C-46 crewed by these four airmen departed a base in Kunming, China, on route to Sookerating, India, as part of the massive allied resupply missions over the Himalayan Mountains, referred to as the “Hump.” En route one of the crewmen called out for a bearing, suggesting the aircraft was lost. There was no further communication with the crew. The aircraft never reached its destination, and searches during and following World War II failed to locate the crash site.

Officials from the People’s Republic of China notified the U.S. in early 2001 that the wreckage of an American WWII aircraft had been found on Meiduobai Mountain in a remote area of Tibet. The following year, a joint U.S.-P.R.C. team, led by the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC), excavated the site where they found human remains, aircraft debris and personal items related to the crew.

JPAC scientists and Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory specialists used mitochondrial DNA as one of the forensic tools to help identify the remains. Laboratory analysis of dental remains also confirmed their identifications.

For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO website at http://www.dtic.mil/dpmo or call (703)-699-1169.

~

Navy Airmen Missing in Action from World War II are Identified The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of seven U.S. servicemen, missing in action from World War II, have been identified and are being returned to their families for burial with full military honors.

The are Ensign Leland L. Davis, Jackson, Miss.; Ensign Robert F. Keller, Wichita, Kan.; Seaman 2nd Class Elwin Alford, Bogalusa, La.; Seaman 2nd Class Dee Hall, Syria, Okla.; Aviation Machinist Mate John H. Hathaway, Lafayette, Ind.; Aviation Radioman 2nd Class Robert A. Smith, Glen Dive, Mont.; and Aviation Pilot 3rd Class Albert J. Gyorfi, Wilbur, Wash.; all Navy.

The group remains of all seven are to be buried at Arlington National Cemetery near Washington, D.C., on Wednesday, as are the individually identified remains of Davis, Alford and Hathaway. Hall has already been buried in Oklahoma, and the families are setting individual burials for the others.

The seven-man crew was aboard a U.S. Navy PBY-5 Catalina that took off from Kodiak Island, Alaska, on June 14, 1942, to attack Japanese targets in Kiska Harbor.

They encountered inclement weather near the target, as well as heavy Japanese anti-aircraft fire. Their plane crashed on the Japanese-held island of Kiska with all seven aboard.

In August 1943, the U.S. retook Kiska Island from the Japanese. Wreckage of the PBY-5 was found on the side of Kiska Volcano. The remains of the crew were buried in a common grave marked “Seven U.S.N. Airmen” with a wooden marker. Following the war, attempts to locate the common grave were unsuccessful and the remains of all seven were declared to be non-recoverable.

In 2002, a wildlife biologist notified DPMO that he had found the wreckage of a World War II aircraft on the slope of Kiska Volcano. Using that information, the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC) excavated the crash site in August 2003 where they found debris from the PBY-5 as well as crew-related items. The JPAC team also located the wooden marker as well as the remains buried nearby. Subsequent JPAC laboratory analysis led to the individual identifications of all seven crewmembers.

Approximately 78,000 servicemembers are unaccounted-for from World War II War. For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO Web Site at http://www.dtic.mil/dpmo/ or call (703) 699-1169.

~

Soldier MIA from the Korean War is Identified The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of a U.S. serviceman, missing in action from the Korean War, have been identified and returned to his family for burial with full military honors.

He is U.S. Army Corporal Henry D. Connell of Springfield, Mass. He will be buried in his hometown on Saturday.

Connell was assigned to Company L, 8th Cavalry Regiment, when his unit engaged North Korean forces near Taegu, South Korea, in September 1950. He sustained injuries from a fall while evacuating wounded soldiers from the battlefield. Connell was sent to a military hospital in Japan, from which he was later reported – erroneously – to be absent without leave.

An investigation proved that Connell had returned to his unit, now battling Communist Chinese forces in North Korea in early November 1950 near Unsan, about 60 miles north of the capital of Pyongyang. He had been reported missing in action from that battle.

Between 1991-94, North Korea turned 208 boxes of remains believed to contain the remains of 200-400 U.S. servicemen. One of those boxes, received on July 12, 1993, contained two dog tags for Connell, as well as human remains. The accompanying North Korean documents indicated the remains had been exhumed in Unsan County.

Over the next several years, forensic anthropologists at the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC) at Hickam AFB, Hawaii, were able to determine that the box contained the remains of at least four individuals. Some of those remains represented a 14-18-year-old male who stood approximately 70 inches tall at the time of his death. Korean War medical records indicated that Connell was 17 years, 9 months of age, and stood 69.5 inches tall.

Among several forensic identification tools, scientists from JPAC and the Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory (AFDIL) also used mitochondrial DNA as one of the forensic tools in the identification of Connell’s remains, matching a DNA sequence from a maternal relative.

For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO Web site at http://www.dtic.mil/dpmo or call (703) 699-1169.

http://icasualties.org/oif/default.aspx
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Volume 11, Number 53 --- 16 May 2006
Tourbus Home -- http://www.InternetTourbus.com
+---------------------------------------+

TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPICS: Google Desktop / Free Fax / Myspace

In today's TOURBUS, find out who is claiming that Google's Desktop software is Evil, and why. Also in this issue, how to send a free fax on the 'Net, and more articles in my series about Myspace safety and privacy. Read on!

-------------------------
Is Google Desktop Evil?
-------------------------

A reader concerned about online privacy wrote to me and asked:

"I got a warning from a friend who told me not to use the Google Desktop program. He says it will secretly make copies of my personal files and send them to Google's own servers, and they could also be made available to the government. Is this true?"

If you've gotten a copy of an email saying things like "Google Copies Your Hard Drive - Government Smiles in Anticipation" and "Consumers Should Not Use New Google Desktop" -- you can relax... the Google Desktop software won't secretly send copies of your love letters to Uncle Sam. Here's the truth about the "Search Across Computers" feature that was added to Google Desktop software earlier this year.

Yes, it's true that if you use the Search Across Computers feature, Google Desktop will transfer an encrypted copy of certain files to a Google server, so you can search for files on all of your computers at once. It's a handy tool for power users who have files scattered across multiple computers. But nothing is being done in secret, or without your permission, and your personal files are NOT available to other users.

So why are some privacy pundits claiming that if files are stored on Google servers, then the government, business rivals or an ex-spouse could easily obtain them with a subpoena? To get all the facts about the Search Across Computers feature, and the identity of the *real* bad guys in this story, continue reading here:

http://askbobrankin.com/is_google_desktop_evil.html

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Send a Free Fax
-----------------

Don't have a fax machine? That's no longer an obstacle to sending or receiving a fax. And the news is even better than that. You can use the Internet to send a fax for free.

There are a bunch of websites that make this claim, but some of them ask for your credit card in order to open a "free trial account." If you want a truly FREE internet fax service, with no strings attached, then FaxZero fits the bill. It will help you send a fax to any fax machine in the United States (including Puerto Rico) or Canada for free. For complete details on how it works, and other free fax alternatives, click here:

http://askbobrankin.com/send_a_free_fax.html

-----------------------------
Myspace: Safety and Privacy
-----------------------------

Are you concerned about young teens who are using Myspace? I've written a series of articles that look closely how kids are using Myspace, what they (and their parents) can do to stay safe, and the privacy concerns of social networking that you may not have thought about. Here are some of the articles in the series:

* [PRIVATE MYSPACE PROFILE] - "My child is 16 and has a Myspace page. He tells me the only way to make his Myspace profile private is to set his age to 14 or 15 years old. Is there a way to set the account to private (so only friends can visit their page) without lying about your age?"

http://askbobrankin.com/private_myspace_profile.html

* [BLOCKING MYSPACE] - "My daughter is 12 years old and I just found out she has a Myspace account with some inappropriate content. The account was deleted, but I want to make sure she has no access to Myspace in the future. How can I do this?"

http://askbobrankin.com/blocking_myspace.html

* [MYSPACE SAFETY TIPS] - Are teens putting themselves at risk by posting too much personal information on Myspace? Is Myspace a danger to kids that should be tightly controlled or shut down?

http://askbobrankin.com/myspace_safety_tips.html

If you are a regular user of Myspace and want to learn more about customizing your Myspace home page, or how to use the advanced search features, read these other articles in the Myspace series:

* [MYSPACE LAYOUTS]
http://askbobrankin.com/myspace_layouts.html


* [ADDING MUSIC TO MYSPACE]
http://askbobrankin.com/add_music_to_myspace.html


* [MYSPACE GRAPHICS]
http://askbobrankin.com/myspace_graphics.html


* [SEARCHING IN MYSPACE]
http://askbobrankin.com/searching_in_myspace.html

+---------------------------------------+

That's all for now, see you next time! -- Bob Rankin

+---------------------------------------+
==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]==
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238 Copyright 1995-2005, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved Tourbus News Service - http://tourbus.com/news.html Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the Tourbus Website - http://www.TOURBUS.com
========================
.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Scheduled Activities
~~~
Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 8 p.m. Monday - Friday. At noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and at 7 p.m. Sunday at 914 N. Vine
~~~
Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
~~~
Columbia County Diabetes Support Group - Every third Monday, 7:00 p.m. room 222, Magnolia Hospital
~~~
"Focus on the Family" with Dr. James Dobson weekday afternoons at 1 PM on KVMA am 630 it's a great show!
~~~
MCC - Abraham Prayer - Sunday at 5:00 p.m and Wednesday from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm
~~~
MCC - Early Morning Prayer - Monday - Friday, From 6:30 am to 8:00 am
~~~
MCC - "Beth Moore" Video Class - Thursday nights at 5:45 pm
~~~
MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets at 1051 Columbia 36 the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
~~~
MCC - Firm Foundations Class, Sunday 9:30 to 10:15 a.m
~~~
MCC - Meadow Brook Nursing Home Ministry Tuesday from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m
~~~
MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
~~~
MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
~~~
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
~~~
Narcotics Anonymous 5-6 pm every Monday at 220 Pine street.
~~~
TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) 5 pm every Tuesday in the Magnolia Hospital break room.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Acts 13:5-8 Acts 24:5,6,10,13 Luke 21:25-28 Acts 4:36-37 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII
P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. For the "Blog" version just go to http://bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com/ to see the latest issue. We also have a site [http://bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com/] where we post photos that I like.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. Of course "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com to see the latest issue (usually updated sometime Friday evening or Saturday morning. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2006 before it was sent. ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: What Did you Expect?

Our J.O.Y. group poses with one of the Duttons.
Our new living room floor. 

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: What Did you Expect?

Mural on Boxcar Willie's Theater
Annette and I in Branson
Our J.O.Y. group gathers for lunch.
Aunt Shirley, Uncle Herb and Beth in front of the Theater 

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: What Did you Expect?

Volume 8, Issue 18 Friday, May 05, 2006

I guess you noticed this issue is a few weeks late. Too much to do and no free time till Memorial Day weekend.
~~~~~
We were in Branson, MO May 4-6, enjoying the fellowship of our J.O.Y. (Just Older Youth) group from MCC as well as a couple of super shows. Our favorite was The Dutton Family (http://www.theduttons.com/) who perform a wide variety of different styles of music including bluegrass, jazz, classical, gospel and rock 'n roll among others.
The range went from an orchestrated sound of a large ensemble with B-Minor, Johann Pachelbel's Canon to La Bamba, Wipeout and Johnny B. Goode. The Duttons staggered us with their polished, musical wizardry. The whole family not only is instrumentally talented; they can really sing. And their comedy skits were side busters. If you’re in Branson, don’t miss ‘em.
~~~~~
We were saddened to learn of the death of Barbara Harrison, Laurel Becnel's mother-in-law. Please keep the family in your prayers.
~~~~~
Don’t forget Mother's Day, Sunday, May 14
~~~~~
The photos on the front of this weeks “Bleat” include members of our J.O.Y. (Just Older Youth) group posing with Abby (http://www.theduttons.com/) in front of the Duttons theater in Branson, Annette and I on the same trip and our new hardwood floor that Robert Davidson installed while we were in Branson.
~~~~~
Don’t forget to check out www.mcc2000.net
~~~~~
The next Albemarle Kids' Fishing Tournament will be Saturday June 3.
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com.
Older issues can be found at
http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com,
http://www.bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com/,
http://www.bugsbleat3q.blogspot.com, and
http://www.bugsbleat4q.blogspot.com. Our photos are now posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
We recommend you review the brief dispatch at: www.michaelyon-online.com
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
www.aaa.com Regular
Current Avg. $ 2.88
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - We’re sharing recipes from Shannon Voigt’s new Taylor Recipe Book
Chicken Salad - - Donna Gail Hanson
Ingredients:
3 chicken breasts (cooked)-I boil mine.
½ cup sweet pickles or pickle relish
½ cup sour cream
¼ cup chopped onions, I also use green onion if I have it
1 ¼ cup Miracle Whip salad dressing (not light)
2 ½ celery ribs
¼ cup toasted almonds
Salt, pepper, and garlic to taste

Method:
Mix all ingredients together. Serve with crackers or on croissants. If you are making sandwiches, run ingredients through food processor. If you are serving this as a salad, chop the ingredients with a knife and add red or green grapes.
~~~~~
BreakPoint
With Chuck Colson
Worldview‘ A Little Saudi Kingdom behind Prison Walls’
By Mark Earley
5/5/2006

Spewing Poison in America’s Prisons

Note: This commentary was delivered by Prison Fellowship President Mark Earley.

Not long ago, an ex-con named Umar Abdul-Jalil gave a speech in which he said the “greatest terrorists in the world occupy the White House,” and that the “Zionists of the media” should not be dictating “what Islam is to us.”

That was bad enough, but what was worse was the fact that Jalil is the chief Islamic chaplain in the New York City Department of Corrections.

After his comments became public, he was suspended from his job. But New York’s Mayor Bloomberg refused to dismiss him, claiming that his right to free speech covered such explosive comments.

Jalil is far from being the only radical imam in America’s prison system. Stephen Schwartz, writing last week in the Weekly Standard, believes that “radical Muslim chaplains . . . acting in coordination to impose an extremist agenda . . . have gained a monopoly over Islamic religious activities in American state, federal, and city prisons and jails.”

Moderate Muslim prisoners are complaining that radical chaplains subject them to humiliation, discrimination, and even physical threats. “Imagine,” he says, “each prison Islamic [prison] community as a little Saudi kingdom behind prison walls, without the amenities. They have effectively induced American authorities to establish a form of ‘state Islam’” in correctional systems, Schwartz says.

Over the years at Prison Fellowship, Chuck has asked many inmates, chaplains, and officers why Islam is growing so fast. First, they say that inmates consider Christianity a white man’s religion, and Islam a black man’s religion. Second, they say the brotherhood of Islam appeals to them because it invites them into a whole way of living that is different. They talk about Islam as a whole life system—which, by the way, points out that as Christians we must do a better job of presenting Christianity as a whole way of life.

We’ve already seen some frightening examples of what can happen when radical Muslims play on the sensibilities of prisoners who feel isolated and vulnerable. Muktar Said Ibrahim, who is believed to be the ringleader in the attempted bombing of London’s subway system last summer, converted to Islam in prison. So did “shoe bomber” Richard Reid.

We need to heed the warnings of Patrick Sookhdeo, a Muslim convert to Christianity. Sookhdeo is the author of a book titled Islam: The Challenge to the Church. In it, he warns that Islam, “alone among world faiths, has very clear-cut aims for reorganizing society to conform to its teaching. Because of this, Muslim minorities are impacting their host societies in the West in a way which no other faith is doing”—and that’s including in America’s prisons.

Clearly, prison authorities must be more vigilant and adopt strict measures to guard against the spread of radical Islam that teaches violence and hate. In particular, they must remove radical imam chaplains who incite terrorism. But as Christians we must do our job, as well. We need to increase our own loving presence among prisoners—people who are often lonely and desperate.

In prison, like everywhere else, the surest antidote to the poison of hatred is the message of love—the message of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

This is part four in a four-part series on Islam.

For Further Reading and Information

Please help support the Christian worldview ministries of BreakPoint and the Wilberforce Forum by donating online today or calling 1-877-322-5527.

Stephen Schwartz, “Islam in the Big House,” CBS News, 24 April 2006. (From Weekly Standard.)

Paul Howard, “A Fifth Column in the Prisons?” City Journal, spring 2006.

Niles Lathem, “Top Jail Imam in Hate Tirade,” New York Post, 9 March 2006.

“Jailhouse Jihadists,” New York Post, 10 March 2006.

Steve Bird, et al., “The Benefit Bombers Who Repaid Help with Hatred,” Sunday Times (London), 27 July 2005.

Patrick Sookhdeo, “The Myth of Moderate Islam,” The Spectator, 2 August 2005. (Posted by Frontpagemag.com.)

David Virtue, “Islam, Persecution, and Culture Wars: Barnabas Fund Leader Tackles Challenge of Islam to the Church in the West,” Virtue Online, 13 April 2006.

BreakPoint Commentary No. 051018, “The Wrong Kind of Prison Fellowship: Wahhabism on the Inside.”

Timothy George, Is the Father of Jesus the God of Muhammad? (Zondervan, 2002).

The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics.
© 2004 Prison Fellowship.
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
microcosm: a smaller, representative system having analogies to a larger system.
gloaming: twilight; dusk.
luminary: any body that gives light; also, a person of eminence or brilliant achievement.
daedal: skillful; artistic; ingenious.
temerity: unreasonable or foolhardy contempt of danger.
wag: a humorous person; a wit.
execrable: detestable; extremely bad.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"They defend their errors as if they were defending their inheritance." - Edmund Burke

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - Benjamin Franklin

"We will bankrupt ourselves in the vain search for absolute security." - Dwight David Eisenhower

"All great truths begin as blasphemies." - George Bernard Shaw

"A belief is not merely an idea the mind possesses; it is an idea that possesses the mind." - Robert Bolton

"Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. The moment you know how, you begin to die a little. The artist never entirely knows. We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark." - Agnes de Mille

"Success is dangerous. One begins to copy oneself, and to copy oneself is more dangerous than to copy others. It leads to sterility." - Pablo Picasso
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

First Nations Canadian Hero Who Translated Gospel into Mohawk Language to be Celebrated in Ontario
News Staff / Aimee Herd reporting (Apr 30, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2448
"His gift to his people was the Gospel of John. His gift to the world was the first ever foreign translation of the Bible Society-a movement that would sweep the globe publishing, translating and distributing the Scriptures." - Canadian Bible Society

Hopegivers' Dr. Sam Thomas to be Released on Bail
Dan Wooding / Aimee Herd reporting (May 1, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2451
"We praise the Lord for this decision. The Lord has heard our cries and those of His children around the world!"

Israel Celebrates its 58th Independence Day - "Don't stop dreaming of peace"
News Staff / Teresa Neumann, Aimee Herd reporting (May 2, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2456
EDITOR'S NOTE: As the nation of Israel commemorates the 58th anniversary of its independence, the words spoken by Shimon Peres, at the beginning of the annual ceremony on Mount Herzl, are perhaps more poignant than ever. With contentious threats coming out of Iran, and increasing resistance to the Jewish state from other countries, it would be easy to fall into pessimism concerning its future. But Israel has felt the heat of many oppressors before, and yet has triumphed by the hand of the Lord. As Christians, we must not lose heart in praying for this nation so special to God, we have a unique place in the Kingdom from which to intercede. For, as it says in Romans 11 - "God has not rejected His people whom He foreknew." -- Aimee Herd, BCN

Earthquake in Tonga Islands brings Tsunami Warnings to New Zealand, Fiji and Tsunami Advisory to Pacific NW
Aimee Herd reporting (May 3, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2460
"A tsunami wave could hit Suva, Fiji, as early as 5:13 a.m. local time (1713 GMT) before affecting New Zealand's coastal cities in the following hours."

"Startling" Interview with Widow of United Flight 93 Hero, Tom Burnett, Reveals They Both Had "Premonitions" of His Death
Newsmax Staff/Teresa Neumann Reporting (May 4, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2461
"He just felt that whatever God's plan was for him, it had something to do with the White House and was going to impact a lot of people."

"America, Honor God" - National Day of Prayer, Thursday, May 04, 2006
Aimee Herd reporting (May 4, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2465
Follow the link below to visit the official National Day of Prayer (NDP) website where you can find out about events in your area, view Rebecca St. James' music video for the NDP, America, Honor God, as well as other information.

President Bush's Commemoration on the National Day of Prayer
Teresa Neumann Reporting (May 4, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2468
" Prayer humbles us by reminding us of our place in creation. Prayer strengthens us by reminding us that God loves and cares for each and every soul in His creation. And prayer blesses us by reminding us that there is a divine plan that stands above all human plans. "

Prayer and Action Alert: Senator Stevens Preventing Vote on Broadcast Indecency Bill, says AFA
AFA Staff / Aimee Herd reporting (May 5, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2472
"Broadcasters are now suing in federal court. They are claiming a so-called right to broadcast [obscenities] and even hardcore pornography into our homes. All the while, H.R. 310 gathers dust in the U.S. Senate because of Sen. Stevens" - American Family Association.
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GCF: What Did you Expect?

Found at The Shark Tank (Computerworld) -Tom
http://www.computerworld.com/departments/opinions/sharktank/0,4885,110992,00.html

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/ UNSUBSCRIBE INFO for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2005 before it was sent.
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It's thunderstorm season and when the power goes out at one branch office, the uninterruptible power supplies kick in, everything gracefully shuts down, and the technician waits for power to return. And waits. And waits.

"Late evening sees the power restored, and we go about bringing the network back to life," says the tech.

Next morning, the phone rings. It's a very irate corporate administrator wanting to know why we had an unscheduled outage the day before. The tech calmly explain about the storm, which he had no control over.

The Administrator's response? "Next time, put it on the schedule before you have an unexpected outage!"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Pre-Flight Announcement

Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day) -Tom To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to: martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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I think the pilot on my last trip was pretty new to his job. I base that on his pre-flight announcement, which was:

"We're going to be taking off in a few ... Whoa, here we go!"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Referrals

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe
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When our local doctor began attending church services, the minister was delighted, and it wasn't long before they were helping each other in their work, the minister referring people to the doctor, and vice versa.

One referral from the doctor called at the church office with a note prescribing the minister's last four sermons. The minister was most pleased until he discovered that the patient's problem was insomnia.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Yard Sale

Emailed to me from another humor list (The Funnies) -Tom To subscribe to The Funnies, send a blank email to: andychaps_the-funnies-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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I was at a yard sale one day and saw a box marked "Electronic cat and dog caller -- guaranteed to work." I looked inside and was amused to see an electric can opener.
_ ____________________________ _
____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / The pen is mightier than \ /
\ _/ the sword, \_ /
/ / if the sword is very small, \ and the pen is very sharp.
____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Shouldn't there be a \ /
\ _/ shorter word for \_ /
/ / "monosyllabic"? \ ____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / If it's free, it's advice; \ /
\ _/if you pay for it, it's counseling;\_ /
/ / if you can use either one, \ it's a miracle.
____________________________
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ /One of my credit cards was stolen\ /
\ _/ but I decided not to report it \_ /
/ / because the thief was spending \ less than my wife.
_ ____________________________ _
Thomas S. Ellsworth
tellswor@slonet.org
http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor
____________________________
Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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[GCFL.net] Get Out Much?

While I was dining out with my children, a man came over to our table, and we started talking.

He asked where my kids go to school. I told him we home-schooled them.

With a raised eyebrow, he asked if my husband is the sole breadwinner for our family. I said, "No, I also work ... out of our home."

Then, noticing our two-month-old son, he mentioned that his daughter had just had a baby, and he wondered what hospital our son was born in. "He was born at home," I answered.

The man looked at me, then said, "Wow, you don't get out much, do you?"

Received from Thomas S. Ellsworth.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Bumper Stickers

Don't play stupid with me... I'm better at it!

This car is designed by computer, built by a robot, driven by a moron.

This truck has been in 15 accidents...and hasn't lost one yet.

Humpty-Dumpty was pushed!

Faster than a speeding ticket!

Adults are just kids with money.

T.G.I.F Thank God I'm Female.

You are right where you belong, behind me!

They keep saying the right person will come along; I think a bus hit mine.

Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there.

Do unto others before they do unto you.

Was today really necessary?

In theory, everything works.

Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.

Nothing is illegal until you get caught.

Your lucky color has faded.

Too many freaks, not enough circuses!

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

The more I learn, the less I understand.

Have you ever had deja vu? Have you ever had deja vu?

Received from Troy Ark.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Investigation

A woman had a beautiful black cat with white feet named Socks. Socks spent his days outside and came indoors only at night. One cool October evening, he disappeared.

She searched for him high and low for several days, but all in vain. The following spring, however, Socks reappeared, looking healthy and clean. She figured he'd just been out sowing his wild oats, and let it go at that.

Everything was back to normal until that autumn, when Socks once again disappeared. The next spring, just as the prior year, he returned. When it happened for the third year in a row, she became very perplexed and decided to investigate. She started by asking her neighbors to see what, if any, information they might have.

She was down to the last house on the block, the home of an older couple. If they didn't have the answer, she wasn't sure where she would turn. So she went up and knocked on the door. The lady of the house answered, and she asked her, "By any chance, have you ever seen a black cat with four white feet around here?"

"A black cat?" the woman said. "With four white feet? Oh my, yes! He's the sweetest thing. My husband and I kept seeing him outside every fall. We hated it that the poor thing had to be out in the cold, so we decided that when we go south for the winter, we'd take him with us. He's been going to Florida with us every winter for the last few years."

Received from The Cybersalt Digest.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Talking Parrot

This guy wanted a parrot who talked. He asked the pet store manager if there was a bird who was already speaking. The manager directed the guy to a bird by the window. "This bird has a vocabulary of 1000 words and another 50 phrases that would fit most occasions."

The guy bought the bird and took it home.

Next day, the guy was back in the petstore to complain. The bird hadn't said a word.

The pet store manager said, "That's not unusual. Why not buy a few of the toys the bird had been used to playing with while here and put it in his cage. That should get him more comfortable with his surroundings and loosen him up." The man paid for the toys and took them home to the bird.

Two days later the guy showed back up. "Still not talking, huh?" asked the manager. "Well, perhaps a birdbath would do the trick." The credit card was whipped out, the purchase made, and the guy was back home with his new birdbath.

And, like clockwork, two days later the guy was back to complain that the bird STILL hadn't said one word. This time the shop owner scratched his head and said, "You know, sometimes the bird would be praised in his training and allowed to ring this bell." The guy was hesitant, but he really wanted to hear the bird talk, so he reluctantly purchased the bell.

Two days later, the guy was back in the shop. This time the pet shop owner suggested the bird was lonely. The guy was upset that he'd have to purchase ANOTHER bird when the first one wasn't talking. The pet shop owner told him that, no, he wouldn't have to do that. Just buy a mirror and trick the bird into thinking he had company.

You guessed. Two days later, the man was back in the store, this time with the parrot. The parrot was dead. "What happened! Didn't the bird ever talk?" asked the pet store owner.

"Yep. Right before he died it said, 'What's the matter? Don't they sell birdseed at the pet store any more?'"

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Kids

JACK (age 3) was watching his mom breast-feed his new baby sister. After a while he asked, "Mom, why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"

MELANIE (age 5) asked her granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember, you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his mom goodnight. "I love you so much that when you die, I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her mom explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked, "How does it know it's me?

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said. "It makes my teeth cough."

D I (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked, "How much do I cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young man and woman who were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad, "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked, "What happened to the flea?"

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

Received from mrbiff1020.

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Rate this funny at http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
To print or email this funny to others, go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php
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A drunken cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo Theater.
When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the cowboy, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."
The cowboy groaned but didn't budge. The usher became more impatient: "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."
Once again, the cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success Finally they summoned the police.
The Texas Ranger surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy what's your name?"
"Sam," the cowboy moaned.
"Where ya'll from, Sam?" asked the Ranger.
With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle, Sam replied,
"the balcony."

Thanks to Greg McDaniel
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Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.

*Heard By Tech*

Things heard by tech support:

Customer: "I have Microword Soft."

Customer: "Microwave Windows?"

Customer: "Will this upgrade include Microwave 97?"

Customer: (Referring to Microsoft Defrag.) "I ran Microwave Defrost, but it didn't help."

Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."

Customer: "I have Microscope Exploiter."

Customer: "I have Netscape Complicator."

Customer: "I have Netscape Regulator."

Customer: "Uhh...I have Newscape and Outlook Exposure."

Customer: "I have a US Robotics Sportscaster modem."

Customer: "It's not my computer that is slow. I have a 200 horse power hard drive."

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*Minibike*

A young man drove his minibike in to a gas station and dismounted.

"I'll need about a pint of gas," he said to the attendant, "and a few ounces of oil for the motor."

"Certainly sir," the attendant said, "And would you also like me to cough into your tires?"

(-:][:-)

*Toilet Brush*

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush.

He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago."

(-:][:-)

*Cursing Parrot*

Jimmy received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown, with a very bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was a swear word; those that weren't cursing were very rude.

Jimmy tried to change the bird's attitude by constantly saying polite words, playing soft music-anything he could think of. Nothing worked.

He then tried yelling at the bird, but the bird got worse. He shook the bird, and the bird got madder and ruder.

Finally, in a moment of desperation, Jimmy put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird swearing, squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, there was absolute quiet.

Jimmy was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird, and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto Jimmy's extended arm and said, "I'm sorry that I offended you with my language and my actions, and I ask your forgiveness. I will endeavor to correct my behavior".

Jimmy was astounded at the changes in the bird's attitude and was about to ask what had changed him, when the parrot continued, "May I ask what the Chicken did?"

Eye Laugh

"Canada - #1 Eh!"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw242

"Baptismal Repairs"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=40

"One In Every"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=39

"Cat Perch"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=37


(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/poodle.html - - A Poodle Tale "I read recently that elegant dog garb and pricey canine day-care are "in" these days. Frankly, I was pleased to learn this. For until I acquired this seemingly frivolous bit of information, I was seriously concerned about my parents..."
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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Statistical Sites on the World Wide Web - - http://www.bls.gov/bls/other.htm - - Links to statistics and information from more than 70 agencies in the U.S. Federal Government.
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Thomas: Legislative Information on the Internet - - http://thomas.loc.gov/ - - Acting under the directive of the leadership of the 104th Congress to make Federal legislative information freely available to the Internet public, a Library of Congress team brought the THOMAS World Wide Web system online in January 1995, at the inception of the 104th Congress. Site ncludes the Congressional Record text and index, bills and voting records, current session schedules, and committee information.
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Reference Resources - - http://www.bartleby.com/reference/ - - Bartleby.com combines the best of both contemporary and classic reference works into the most comprehensive public reference library ever published on the web.
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Obesity Guidelines - - http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/guidelines/obesity/ob_home.htm - - The National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute, in cooperation with the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases, released the first Federal guidelines on the identification, evaluation, and treatment of overweight and obesity. About 97 million adults in the United States are overweight or obese. Obesity and overweight substantially increase the risk of morbidity from hypertension; dyslipidemia; type 2 diabetes; coronary heart disease; stroke; gallbladder disease; osteoarthritis; sleep apnea and respiratory problems; and endometrial, breast, prostate, and colon cancers. Higher body weights are also associated with increases in all-cause mortality.
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Experts Ponder Peak of Global Oil Production - - http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5374852 - - Forecasts for the future of oil production around the globe can vary widely. This NPR story is the second in a series examining the future of fuel. Related sites: NPR: Turning Dirty Coal into Clean Energy http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5356683 - / Greatest Oil Reserves by Country, 2005 http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0872964.html - / DOE: International Energy Outlook 2005 http://www.eia.doe.gov/oiaf/ieo/index.html.
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U.S. Department of Defense Home Page - - http://www.defenselink.mil/ - - This is the official Department of Defense Web site that features news, briefings by Pentagon officials, and more.
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The New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy - - http://www.bartleby.com/59/ - - The manifestation of one of the most influential modern educational theories, the 6,900 entries in this major new reference work form the touchstone of what it means to be not only just a literate American but an active citizen in our multicultural democracy.
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------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
April 28, 2006
Today's Message is from Karen Drake.

Stress: It's a killer.

Not only can unresolved stress lead to heart attacks and ulcers, but physical, joint and muscle pain, and various and sundry other illnesses. Other less tangible pain - relationship trouble.

Take for example the employee who has stress both at home and at work. Left unmanaged, this person loses sleep, becomes grumpy and difficult to get along with. His/her marriage suffers, children suffer, work suffers. This person has changes in personality or eating habits. He/she may over eat and gain weight, or stop eating all together. Any of these conditions can affect the immune system, leaving one susceptible to viruses, colds, flu, even to the extent that hospitalization may be required.

How to resolve stress:
Sometimes we cannot rectify our circumstances, but we can work through them in a satisfactory manner. When faced with a stressful situation where no immediate resolution is apparent, walk away for a "time-out". Collect your thoughts, breathe deeply, then return to re-address the difficulty.

Get up regularly from your desk at work, and walk around your area. Stretch. Drink lots of water. Make sure you're eating healthy snacks and meals.

Make your health a priority!!! Take a multi-vitamin daily. Get some exercise. Take a walk, read a book. Don't become so consumed with "getting it done" that you overlook the necessity of personal relaxation.

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
May 2, 2006
In Case of Snakebite

A man who lives in my neighborhood was recently bitten by a rattlesnake while he was moving a pile of brush in his backyard. He survived but was in the hospital for two days and was walking with crutches a week later so it was obviously a traumatic experience. Here's what to do and not do if you get bitten.

Dorothy
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Probability of Snakebite

Venomous snakes of Georgia and South Carolina pose little threat to humans who learn to observe them but otherwise leave them alone. Lightning kills many more people every year than snakes do, and the probability of dying in a car accident far exceeds the chance of even being bitten by a venomous snake. By one account, several thousand people are bitten by venomous snakes each year in the United States, but fewer than 10 of these bites actually result in deaths. Also, as many as half of all bites by venomous snakes are mild or “dry” bites in which little or no venom is injected.
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In Case of Snakebite

The DON'T's
 Do not eat or drink anything, including alcoholic beverages or medicine.
 Do not run or engage in strenuous physical activity.
 Do not cut into or incise bite marks with a blade.
 Do not apply a constrictive tourniquet.
 Do not use a stun gun or other electrical shock.
 Do not freeze or apply extreme cold to the area of the bite.

The DO's
 Try to stay calm!
 Keep the bitten body part below heart level and remove rings, watches, and tight clothing.
 Try to identify the offending snake if you can do so easily without putting yourself at risk or wasting valuable time.
 Get to the nearest hospital or emergency medical facility immediately.

The universally accepted treatment for serious snakebite is the use of antivenin or snakebite serum, which should only be administered by a medical doctor. If local doctors are unsure of the correct antivenin to use, advise them to contact the American Association of Poison Control Centers (1-800-222-1222).

Medical doctors who have experience with bites of venomous snakes of the United States do not completely agree on the details of first-aid treatment for snakebites. However, most doctors believe that the DOs and DON’Ts listed here have the highest probability of success in most situations involving venomous snakebites.

The best advice is to learn all of the snakes found in your region and avoid the venomous ones. If you are bitten by a venomous snake, remember to stay calm and get to the nearest hospital quickly.

Field herpetologists consider car keys (and a car) to be the best snakebite kit.

http://www.uga.edu/srel/snake-4.htm
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ. www.mcc2000.net
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James- I came across this and thought of you.

Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.

God bless

Laurel J. Becnel, Sr.
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I listened to Dr Dobson’s “Focus On The Family Radio Broadcast” this morning on the same subject. He had several experts on the subject also and discussed how the book that came out last year laid the foundation to set all of the events of the movie as documented facts when they are all false. He also went into the damage this move can do to the Christians that are not fundamentally strong in doctrine due to the smoke screen the book has put in place as facts.

The movieThe Da Vinci Code staring Tom Hanks, directed by Ron Howard will soon be released in the first part of this year. This movie will have the potential to deceive billions of the worlds population. The story line attacks the very heart of the Gospel and attempts to destroy the very nature and character of the Lord Jesus Christ as the Son of God. (Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine a vain thing? The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the Lord, and against His anointed? Psalm 2:1, 2)
Satan knows his time is about up and now he will attempt to take one of his best shots by enlisting all of hell to belch out its worse deception in that of stripping Jesus Christ of His Divine nature and turning him into a mere man who secretly marries Mary Magdalene. To add insult to injury the story depicts the idea that certain shadowy Christian groups for 2,000 years have purposely and secretly hidden this so called fact behind the scenes and thus it is finally revealed in a coded message buried in Leonardo Da Vincis painting. Even the movie trailer for this story presents it as the truth finally revealed about Jesus! (this is just what the Islamic Fascists need to give added credence to their bloody, destructive campaign of global terror!)
It is time for Christians (the Body of Christ) everywhere to rise up and expose this lie from the pit of hell that will be perpetuated on the whole world in just a couple of short months. This is no time to back down in the day of battle. It is a time to pray and fast like never before that God will raise up a standard against the enemy as he comes in like a flood. Satan always overplays his hand and once again he is about to overplay it big time because as usual he overplays it right into Gods plan to present the truth to the whole world. And this Gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations; and then shall the end come Matthew 24:14
Oswald Chambers states in his timeless writing My Utmost For His Highest Our calling is not primarily to be holy men and women but to be proclaimers of the Gospel of God. The one all-important thing is that the Gospel of God should be recognized as the abiding reality Yet we have to ask ourselves today when this abiding reality comes under direct attack who will defend it? The answer can only be that those of us who have been transformed by its truth for eternity will and must defend it here and now.
Pray that Christian lay people, prayer leaders, writers, pastors, and all those in Christian media outlets will get the message out and expose this deception of hell and reveal the lie this movie will present before it ever hits the theaters.
We can only say about Tom Hanks & Ron Howard Father forgive them for they know not what they do but to the enemy of the cross we can only declare to him, go ahead take your best shot because your time is up and you will soon be cast into the lake of fire."
E-mail this on to everyone you know (dont delete, give it feet) and lets expose this lie for what it is because the hour is late and much later than we think.
(Also for more research on the web a good start would be at a website called The Da Vinci Code Hoax as well as other sites exposing this fraud) Another good source of information is from Dr. James Kennedy, Pastor of Coral Ridge Ministries in Ft. Lauderdale Fl. He has written a book "Davinci Delusion".

Thanks to Jim Bussey
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Activities and Events of Interest
~~~
The Barksdale AFB Holiday in Dixie "Defenders Of Liberty" Big Airshow Saturday and Sunday, May 13-14, gates open at 9:00 am, Show starts at 10:00 am
~~~
The Blossom Festival and World Championship Steak Cook-Off is Coming May 19 and 20. If you enjoy beautiful Magnolia Blossoms, good food, great entertainment, and southern hospitality, Magnolia, Arkansas is where you need to be on the third weekend in May.
~~~
Albemarle Kids' Fishing Tournament - June 3
~~~
The Purple Hull Pea Festival is scheduled for June 23 and 24
~~~
The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/

The Department of Defense announced the death of two Marines, who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
01. Cpl. Brandon M. Hardy, 25, of Cochranville, Pa.
02. Sgt. Lea R. Mills, 21, of Brooksville, Fla.
Both Marines died April 28 while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar province, Iraq. They were both assigned to 3rd Assault Amphibian Battalion, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

03. Sgt. Steve M. Sakoda, 29, of Hilo, Hawaii, died of injuries sustained in Baghdad, Iraq, on April 29, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV during combat operations. Sakoda was assigned to the 1st Squadron, 75th Cavalry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

04. Sgt. Matthew A. Webber, 23, of Kalamazoo, Mich., died on April 27, in the Brooke Army Medical Center, San Antonio, Texas, of injuries sustained when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV during combat operations in Habbaniyah, Iraq, on Nov.21, 2005. Webber was assigned to the Army National Guard's 1st Battalion, 125th Infantry Regiment (Mechanized), Saginaw, Mich.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Baghdad, Iraq, on April 28, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their HMMWV during combat operations. The soldiers were assigned to the 10th Cavalry, 4th Brigade, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas. Killed were:
05. Staff Sgt. Bryant A. Herlem, 37, of Copperas Cove, Texas
06. Sgt. Jose Gomez, 23, of Corona, N.Y.

07. Sgt. Edward G. Davis III, 31, of Antioch, Ill., died April 28 while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to 3rd Assault Amphibian Battalion, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

08. 1st Sgt. Bobby Mendez, 38, of Brooklyn, N.Y., died of injuries sustained in Baghdad, Iraq, on April 27, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV during combat operations. Mendez was assigned to the 2nd Special Troops Battalion, 2nd Brigade, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

09. Staff Sgt. Mark A. Wall, 27, of Alden, Iowa, died in Mosul, Iraq, on April 27, from a non-combat related cause. Wall was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 1st Infantry Regiment, 172nd Stryker Brigade Combat Team, Fort Wainwright, Alaska.

10. Cpl. Robbie G. Light, 21, of Kingsport, Tenn., died of injuries sustained in Baghdad, Iraq on May 1, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his M1A2 Abrams tank during combat operations. Light was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 67th Armored Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

11. Lance Cpl. Robert L. Moscillo, 21, of Salem, N.H., died May 1 while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to the 1st Combat Engineer Battalion, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

12. Sgt. Joseph E. Proctor, 38, of Indianapolis, Ind., died May 3 in Tammin, Iraq when a suicide, vehicle-borne, improvised explosive device detonated near his observation post during dismounted combat patrol operations. Proctor was assigned to the Army National Guard's 638th Battalion (Aviation), Shelbyville, Ind.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
13. Capt. Brian S. Letendre, 27, of Woodbridge, Va.
14. Cpl. Stephen R. Bixler, 20, of Suffield, Conn.
Letendre died May 3 while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to the Marine Forces Reserve’s Inspector and Instructor Staff, 1st Battalion, 25th Marine Regiment, 4th Marine Division, Plainville, Conn.
Bixler died May 4 while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to the 2nd Reconnaissance Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

15. Pfc. Christopher M. Eckhardt, 19, of Phoenix, Ariz., died in Taji, Iraq on May 3, from a non-combat related cause. Eckhardt was assigned to the 4th Battalion, 42nd Field Artillery, 1st Brigade, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Baghdad, Iraq on May 4, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their RG-31 Mine Protected Vehicle during combat operations. Reinke and Quinton were assigned to the 5th Engineer Battalion, 1st Engineer Brigade, Fort Leonard Wood, Mo. Killed were:
16. Staff Sgt. Gavin B. Reinke, 32, of Pueblo, Colo.
17. Spc. Bryan L. Quinton, 24, of Sand Springs, Okla.

18. Sgt. Elisha R. Parker, 21, of Taberg, N.Y., died May 4, while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to the 1st Combat Engineer Battalion, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.

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Air Force Sergeants MIA from Vietnam War Identified

The Department of Defense POW/ Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of two servicemen, missing in action from the Vietnam War, have been identified.

They are Tech. Sgt. Donald R. Hoskins, Madison, Ind. and Staff Sgt. Calvin C. Cooke, Washington, D.C. A third person from the crew, Maj. Harry A. Amesbury, has been previously identified. The funeral for Cooke will be at Arlington National Cemetery, near Washington D.C. on June 20, with full military honors.

On April 26, 1972, Amesbury was piloting a C-130E Hercules to An Loc City, South Vietnam for an emergency resupply mission. Hoskins and Cooke were among those aboard the aircraft when it was hit by enemy fire and crashed. Enemy activity prevented any recovery attempts until three years later in 1975 when a Vietnamese search team recovered artifacts and remains that were later identified