Bug's Bleat - - GCF: The Poor Tailor and the French Restaurant

Volume 8, Issue 19 Friday, May 12, 2006

Hello All,

Our apologies again. This Bleat was delayed by a wedding that I worked at Magnolia Christian Center on the 12th and 13th of May, as well as remodeling our living room and kitchen. We’re valiantly working to catch up with our publication schedule.
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We were saddened to learn of the death of Chris Watson, a subscriber, friend, coworker and brother in Christ. He fought a good fight and showed us the depth of his courage and humanity.
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SAU Alumni Newsletter - May 2006 - - http://www.saumag.edu/alumni/
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Don’t forget Mother's Day, Sunday, May 14
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MAY NEWS FROM - - http://www.larrynorman.com/
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Our friend Norma Kay Rowe took her last radiation treatment May 10!!!!!! She shared the following praise report. “I am so excited I just had to share my good news!!!!! Looking back, to September 2005 when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, to now, seems like a dream. This day seemed so far away. God has healed me and I am so blessed and I know that! I HAVE HAIR!! HA! It is VERY grey! My mother is so funny about it. I was telling her I couldn't believe the color and she said,” Well, you are 51 years old, it is supposed to be that color." The wisdom of mothers!!!! Thank you again for all the prayers, cards, phone calls and concern. It has been overwhelming. I never expected it. I am so thankful for your love and friendship. May God always bless you. Norma Kay”
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Important, informed voices are speaking. It is important to listen. We encourage you to go to www.michaelyon-online.com A new photo essay from Afghanistan is posted also check out the Vox Sententia for an article about a courageous Iraqi soldier shot 12 times now recuperating in Georgia .
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The photos on the front of this weeks “Bleat” include sister Lesley Walthall admiring one of her birthday presents, Dr. Pullig and our favorite nurse Nancy Terry at his going away party. And our MCC folks at one of our latest “Faith” Luck dinners.
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In 1950, a local Magnolia, Arkansas art teacher, Ms. Marjorie Chamberlain began a Sidewalk Art Show to display her students paintings. The show was held each year in May around the Columbia County Courthouse beneath the beautiful magnolia trees that grace the historic Courthouse lawn. In time, Ms. Chamberlain was joined by the members of the Sorosis Club, Chamber of Commerce and Arkansas State Arts and Humanities Department to help make the Art Show a tremendous success. For 30 years the Art Show was one of the largest attractions to the town of Magnolia.

Then in 1989 the first Magnolia Blossom Festival was held in conjunction with the Art Show on the third weekend in May. The Festival was expanded and given a distinguishing trademark with the addition of the first World Championship Steak Cook-Off.

This year’s Blossom Festival celebrates the 100th anniversary of the Columbia County Courthouse. On Tuesday, May 16 at 2 pm there will be a birthday party on the Courthouse lawn. The plaque dedication ceremony will be held on Saturday, May 19 at 1 pm. This year’s Blossom Festival T-shirt design features the courthouse in honor of the 100th anniversary celebration. T-shirts, polo shirts, caps and straw hats are available at Jennifer’s on the square and area banks.

This year’s festivities will be held May 19-20. Visitors from all over the United States from coast to coast (Vermont to California) and even Canada will flock to southwest Arkansas to take part in the World Championship Steak Cook-Off and cooker parade, entertainment, sidewalk art show, and unique crafts and fun and amusement for kids of all ages. Also joining us for the first time ever this year are the Budweiser Clydesdales.

The Navy band will perform Thursday night at 7 pm at the First United Methodist Church. Tickets are free and are available to the first 500 people to pick them up at City Hall.

Joining the festival for the first time ever are the Budweiser Clydesdales who will be staying at the new SAU Stables with a busy schedule for the entire week. Their schedule will be announced soon.

Saturday, the parade of cookers begins at 10:30 am when all the proud competitors show off their rigs for a chance at winning trophies and three $500 cash prizes for Showmanship, Best in Parade and Rig Construction. Following the parade, the cookers line up around the square to start preparing their award winning steaks. At 6:00 pm the hungry festival-goers line up to partake of the juicy cooked to perfection steaks while the judges make their final decision. At 7:00 pm Governor Mike Huckabee will present a cash award of $2,500 and the 2006 Governor’s trophy to the World Championship Cooking Team for 2006!

Producers and staff from High Noon Entertainment out of Colorado will be in Magnolia for the Blossom Festival to film the steak cooking teams in the World Championship Steak Cook-Off for the Food Network. They are already gathering story lines on new teams, top contenders, secret recipes and anything exotic, super-culinary or just super fun. The show will later be aired on the Food Network Challenge series.

You’ll have to get an early start on Saturday, May 19 to join the 5K Road Race and Walk at 8:00 am followed by a Fun Run at 9:30 am. A K-9 Fun Show for dogs will be held at 9 am. Other events during the day include the Antique Car Show, Motorcycle Show, the Tom Dehoney Memorial Fishing Tournament, craft shows and sales, 56th Annual Sidewalk Art Show, and lots of activities for the kids.

This year we are privileged to have several Magnolia natives returning to perform for all their friends and families here in Magnolia. Friday night will consist of the R&B sounds of Costie Payne at 6:30 pm followed by the return of Josh Matheny and his band Kingbilly at 8:00 pm. Saturday night kicks off with the high energy, rockn’ sounds of local band Alchemy followed by Country Music recording star Brandon Giles at 8:30 as he makes a homecoming visit to headline and close out the 2006 Blossom Festival Admission to the festival is free. Tickets are required for the steak supper and must be purchased in advance. Contact the Magnolia-Columbia County Chamber of Commerce at 870-234-4352 for more information or visit the official website www.blossomfestival.org designed and hosted by Magnolia Internet Services.
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Don’t forget to check out www.mcc2000.net
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The next Albemarle Kids' Fishing Tournament will be Saturday June 3.
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We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com.
Older issues can be found at http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com, http://www.bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com,
http://www.bugsbleat3q.blogspot.com, and
http://www.bugsbleat4q.blogspot.com. Our photos are now posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
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Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
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www.aaa.com Regular
Current Avg. $ 2.75
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
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Recipe(s) of the week - We’re sharing recipes from Shannon Voigt’s new Taylor Recipe Book
Angel Biscuits - - Gertrude Taylor

Ingredients:
1 pkg dry yeast
2 Tbsp. warm water
5 cups flour
¼ cup sugar
3 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. soda
1 cup shortening
3 cups buttermilk

Method:
In warm water combine dry ingredients, cut in shortening and add yeast and buttermilk. Knead well; roll out and cut with biscuit cutter. Slash and fold over. Bake at 375º for 15 to 20 minutes. Dough may be refrigerated and used as needed. My favorite.
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BreakPoint
With Chuck Colson
Marriage & Family
The ‘Son of So Many Tears’
5/12/2006

A Christian Mother’s Story

This upcoming Sunday is Mother’s Day. It’s the day when Americans remember and celebrate the contributions and sacrifices their moms have made on their behalf.

In honor of Mother’s Day, I’d like to tell you a story about one mother whose devotion shaped not only her son’s life but countless others, as well.

Her name was Monica. A Christian, she was married to a prominent man who wasn’t a believer. He was unfaithful and even beat her at times. Monica’s response was to go to church every day and pray for his conversion. She hoped that by setting a godly example, even in the midst of her mistreatment, she might win him over. And that’s exactly what happened.

The suffering and anguish caused by her husband paled before what Monica’s oldest son put her through. He lived a dissolute life, devoted to pleasure. He left one mistress and took up with another. His only son was born out-of-wedlock.

His lack of faith and rejection of Christian truth hurt Monica even more. He belittled her beliefs and seemed to go out of his way to embrace Christianity’s competitors for the hearts and, especially, minds of his contemporaries. He later recalled how his being “dead [to] that faith and spirit which,” as he put it, “[my mother] had from you . . . O, Lord” made her weep.

Still, Monica never gave up. The greatest preacher of the time, knowing of her prayers and tears for her son, told her that “it is impossible that the son of so many tears should perish.”

That preacher, Bishop Ambrose of Milan, was right. At the age of 35, Monica’s son, Augustine, became a Christian and was baptized, along with his son, Adeodatus, by Ambrose. A few months later, on the way home to Hippo with Augustine and Adeodatus, Monica fell ill and died.

Monica could not have known that her prayers and devotion would affect not only the life of her son but also the course of history. Her concern was that her son believe “the truth which is in Jesus.”

This devotion to the spiritual welfare of her son is why Monica is regarded as the model for all Christian mothers. Like Susannah Wesley, her zeal for the salvation of her son had an impact far beyond anything she could have imagined.

But there’s another reason why Monica’s story should resonate with “BreakPoint” listeners and readers. Her concern was not only that her son give up his debauchery, as important as that was. Monica was determined that he embrace the truth of Christianity. She prayed that he would renounce false worldviews and put his sharp mind to the service of Christian truth.

And that’s exactly what he did. Augustine championed the Christian worldview against the false alternatives of his day. Much of what Christians believe today was first and best articulated by Monica’s son. His writings, the Confessions and the City of God, are considered classics, not only of the Christian faith, but also of all of Western culture and civilization. Those books have profoundly shaped me and my ministry.

While there can be only one Monica and Augustine, every Christian mother—and father, for that matter—should be concerned with their kids’ worldviews. Praying for them and teaching them to seek after Christian truth is a solemn duty on our part and a contribution they will always remember, whether it is Mother’s Day or any other day of the year.

For Further Reading and Information

Today’s BreakPoint offer: Subscribe today to BreakPoint WorldView magazine! Call 1-877-322-5527.

Read more about Saint Augustine.

St. Augustine, City of God (Image, 1958 edition).

Read St. Augustine’s Confessions.

Jessica Steinmetz, “Feast Day—August 27,” (about Saint Monica), About.com.

Read more about Saint Monica.

“Monica of Hippo,” Wikipedia.

Roberto Rivera, “If We Meet Again: Roberto Reflects on the Passing of His Mother,” BreakPoint Online, 17 November 2003.

Matthew B. O’Brien, “Motherhood . . . and the Meaning of Marriage,” To the Source, 9 May 2006.

The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics.
© 2004 Prison Fellowship.
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Words of the Week:
rapine: the act of plundering.
pablum: something (as writing or speech) that is trite, insipid, or simplistic.
aspersion: a damaging or derogatory remark.
otiose: ineffective; also, being at leisure; also, of no use.
turgid: swollen, bloated; also, bombastic, pompous.
derogate: to deviate from expectation; also, to detract; also, to disparage.
virtu: love of or taste for fine objects of art; also, productions of art.
from Dictionary.Com
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"A martyr's disciples suffer more than the martyr." - Friedrich Nietzsche

"The republic is a dream. Nothing happens unless first a dream." - Carl Sandburg

"The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper." - Eden Phillpotts

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt

"Anger is a brief lunacy." - Horace

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." - Ernest Hemingway

"The wise man must be wise before, not after." - Epicharmus
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BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

Is New York City on the Brink of Revival?
Paul Strand / Aimee Herd reporting (May 7, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2479
"[It's] below the surface, and at 12 noon, as it was in 1858, we are on our knees, crying out to God that He will be the root...because we are only the branches"

Australian Miners Rescued Today after Almost Two Weeks
AP Staff / Aimee Herd reporting (May 8, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2483
Brant Webb and Todd Russell, trapped in the Beaconsfield Gold Mine for nearly two weeks, were freed today by rescuers.

Daystar TV Forges New Ground as First Network to Broadcast 100 Percent Christian Content into Every Home in Israel
Michael Ireland (May 9, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2487
"This is a first. Never before has the nation of Israel granted a license for a 100 percent Christian Channel to broadcast into all of Israel."

France Holds Europe's First National Day of Remembrance for Victims of Slavery
Clive Myrie/Teresa Neumann Reporting (May 10, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2491
President Jacques Chirac is leading France in "facing up to France's colonial past" by commemorating Slavery Remembrance Day today.

"Triple Whammy" Antibodies Have Unprecedented Success in Destroying Cancer
Prashant Nair/Teresa Neumann Reporting (May 11, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2495
"Not only does the treatment destroy tumors - even when they have spread around the body - it also prevents the tumors coming back."

The Stunning Connection Between John Lennon and The Da Vinci Code
Op/Ed by Steve Shultz, BCN Founding Editor (May 12, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2499
One of my sayings is "who would've thunk?" I'm asking that now about the connection between John Lennon's Imagine, and the Da Vinci Code. Who would have "thunk" this would work again?

What Even the Large Media Outlets Don't Allow You to Know: George Bush has 95 Percent Support by Social Conservatives
News Staff / Steve Shultz, Aimee Herd reporting (May 12, 2006)
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2500
FOUNDING EDITOR'S NOTE: Though this article, in its entirety, is negative and cynical, as per the excerpts below, the author must confess that 95% of Social Conservatives support George W. Bush, even more than his father was supported. Why do you suppose the media doesn't want you to know this? - Steve Shultz, Breaking Christian News.
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GCF: The Poor Tailor and the French Restaurant

Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day) -Tom To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to: martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@egroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/ UNSUBSCRIBE INFO for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2005 before it was sent.
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Old Abraham was a poor tailor whose shop was next door to a very upscale French restaurant. Every day at lunch time, Abraham would go out the back of his shop and eat his black bread and herring while smelling the wonderful odors coming from the restaurant's kitchen.

One day, Abraham was surprised to receive an invoice from the restaurant for 'enjoyment of food'. So he went to the restaurant to point out that he had not bought anything from them. The manager said, "You're enjoying our food, so you should pay us for it."

Abraham refused to pay and the restaurant sued him. At the hearing, the judge asked the restaurant to present their side of the case. The manager said, "Every day, this man comes and sits outside our kitchen and smells our food while eating his. It is clear that we are providing added value to his poor food and we deserve to be compensated for it."

The judge turns to Abraham and said, "What do you have to say to that?"

Abraham didn't say anything but stuck his hand in his pocket and rattled the few coins he had inside.

The judge asked him, "What is the meaning of that?"

Abraham replied, "I'm paying for the smell of his food with the sound of my money."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: How to Train a Cat

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe
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Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of our new sofa as a scratching post. "Don't worry," my husband reassured me. "I'll have him trained in no time."

I watched for several days as my husband patiently "trained" our new pet. Whenever the cat scratched, my husband deposited him outdoors to teach him a lesson.

The cat learned quickly. For the next 16 years, whenever he wanted to go outside, he scratched the back of the sofa.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Passwords!

Found at The Shark Tank (Computerworld) -Tom
http://www.computerworld.com/action/sharktank.do?command=viewDailyFull&date=20060509&source=NLT_SHARK&nlid=6
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This consultant is working on a Web development project for a client, and he's also got a nontechnical intern to keep busy. Fortunately, that's a solution, not a problem.

"Part of the project included setting up about 150 user accounts for the client's customers to log in to a secure portion of the site and download their reports," says the consultant.

"Setting up 150 user accounts seemed like a simple enough job, would keep our intern busy and took a task off my plate. I gave him a list of usernames and showed him how to set up accounts on the server."

In fact, he gives the intern some further guidance. From past experience, he knows that passwords consisting of random letters and numbers make security gurus happy but drive users crazy -- either users can't remember the gibberish passwords or they constantly mistype them.

He explains all this to the intern and instructs him to create passwords that consist of a word from the dictionary, followed by two or three digits.

Next day, the consultant checks with intern to make sure the job is complete. The intern shows him the list of passwords. And sure enough, he's done exactly what the consultant suggested -- with one extra twist.

"Rather than creating passwords like 'book345' or 'house57,' he instead found a list of the 200 most commonly misspelled words to generate the passwords," the consultant groans.

"Being under a tight deadline, there was no time to create new passwords and test them. So we launched the Web site and gave the users their passwords. As expected, we fielded numerous support calls from users trying to enter passwords such as 'accommodate85' and 'asphyxiate33.' "
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Two-Part Question

Emailed to me from another humor list (You Make Me Laugh) -Tom To subscribe to You Make Me Laugh, send a blank email to: SUBSCRIBE-laugh@lists.crosswalk.com
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Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $1,000,000 Question TV Quiz Show. The night before the big question, he told the host that he desired a question on American History.

The big night arrived. Bob made his way on stage in front of the studio and TV audience. He had become the talk of the town. He was the best guest this show had ever seen. The host stepped up to the microphone.

"Bob, you have chosen American History as your final question. You know that if you correctly answer this question, you will walk away one million dollars richer. Are you ready?"

Bob nodded with a cocky confidence -- the crowd went nuts. He hadn't missed a question all week.

"Bob, yours is a two-part question. As you know, you may answer either part first. As a rule, the second half of the question is always easier. Which part would you like to take a stab at first?"

Bob was becoming more noticeably nervous. He couldn't believe it. He was not sure, but American History was his best subject, so he played it safe.

"I'll try the easier part first."

The host nodded approvingly. "Here we go, Bob. I will ask you the second half first, then the first half."

The audience grew silent with anticipation.....

"Bob, here is your question: And in what year did it happen?"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Dear Abby (Mother of the Bride)

From the GCF Archives (July 2004)
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DEAR ABBY: "P.O. in New Jersey" was angry because her sister-in-law purchased an identical wedding dress after seeing hers. Here's another way she could handle the situation:

The wedding day was fast approaching. Everything was ready and nothing could dampen Jennifer's excitement, not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother had finally found the perfect dress and felt she would be the best-dressed mother of the bride ever!

A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn her new young stepmother, Barbie, had purchased the same dress. She asked Barbie to exchange it, but Barbie refused. "Absolutely not! I'm going to wear this dress. I'll look like a million bucks in it."

Jennifer relayed the conversation to her mother, who graciously replied, "Never mind, dear. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day, not hers." Two weeks later, another dress was finally found. When they stopped for lunch that day, Jennifer asked, "What are you going to do with the first dress? Maybe you should return it. You don't have any place to wear it."

Her mother grinned and replied, "Of course, I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner!" -- JUDITH, HOUSTON

Abby's Response:
DEAR JUDITH: I like her sense of humor.
_ ____________________________ _
(((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / My ship came in, \ /
\ _/ but I was at the train station. \_ /
/ / \ (((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / You know you're over the hill \ /
\ _/ when "Happy Hour" now consists \_ /
/ / of a nap. \ (((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Eagles may soar, but weasels \ /
\ _/ aren't sucked into jet engines. \_ /
/ / \ (((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Eagles may soar, but weasels \ /
\ _/ aren't sucked into jet engines. \_ /
/ / \ (((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I went for a drive today \ /
\ _/ in the country \_ /
/ / and passed a camouflage store. \ But you couldn't see it.
_ ____________________________ _
Thomas S. Ellsworth
tellswor@slonet.org
http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor
____________________________
Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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[GCFL.net] The Stopped Burglar

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of Church services when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled, "Stop! Acts 2:38!" (Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.)

The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you."

"Scripture?" replied the burglar. "She said she had an Ax and Two 38's!"

Received from Frank.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Shoes

Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed it was over eleven years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a decade ago.

"Do you think the shoes will still be in the shop?" Arnold asked.

"Not very likely," his wife said.

"It's worth a try," Arnold said, pocketing the ticket.

He went downstairs, hopped into the car, and drove to the store.

With a straight face, he handed the ticket to the man behind the counter. With a face just as straight, the man said, "Just a minute. I'll have to look for these."

He disappeared into a dark corner at the back of the shop.

Two minutes later, the man called out, "Here they are!"

"No kidding?" Arnold called back. "That's terrific! Who would have thought they'd still be here after all this time."

The man came back to the counter, empty-handed.

"They'll be ready Thursday," he said calmly.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Dead Donkey

Morris, a city boy, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, but I have some bad news. The donkey died."

"Well, then, just give me my money back."

"Can't do that. I went and spent it already."

"OK, then. Just unload the donkey."

"What ya gonna do with him?"

"I'm going to raffle him off."

"You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

"Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."

A month later the farmer met up with the city boy and asked, "Whatever happened with that dead donkey?"

"I raffled him off. I sold five hundred tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $998."

"Didn't anyone complain?"

"Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Mother of the Bride

Her big church wedding was fast approaching, and my friend was delighted to hear that her mom, emerging from a nasty divorce, had finally found the perfect mother-of-the-bride dress.

Two days later, she was shocked to learn that her new young stepmother had purchased the same dress.

My friend asked her stepmother to buy another dress since her mom had already altered her purchase.

Her new stepmother refused.

After two more weeks of frustrating shopping, the bride's mom found a dress that was not as nice as the first, but would serve.

When asked by a friend what she would do with her original dress, she grinned and replied, "I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner!"

Received from Dolores A O'Neill.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Mother's Day Funnies

The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool.

"Everyone knows," the mother lectured him, "that from time to time, young children will urinate in a pool."

"Oh really?" said the lifeguard, "from the diving board!?!?"

* * * * Choosing Your Husband * * * *

If it's true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why so many mothers cry so much at weddings.

* * * * The Younger Generations* * * *

Parents often talk about the younger generations as if they didn't have anything to do with it.

* * * * What is an Antique? * * * *

An antique is something your grandmother bought, your mother threw out, and you are now buying back.

* * * Things Mom Would Never Say * * *

1. "How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"

2. "Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too."

3. "Just leave all the lights on ... it makes the house look more cheery."

4. "Let me smell that shirt -- Yeah, it's good for another week."

5. "Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day."

6. "Well, if Timmy's mom says it's OK, that's good enough for me."

7. "The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here."

8. "I don't have a tissue with me ... just use your sleeve."

9. "Don't bother wearing a jacket - the wind-chill is bound to improve."

Received from FranCMT2.

(-:][:-)

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Obedient Wife

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife, "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."

And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!"

She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket.

Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away. So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband."

The loyal wife replied," Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?"

"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a check. If he can cash it, he can spend it."

Thanks to John Chadsey
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Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large, raging violent river.

Needing to get on the other side, the first man prayed, "God, please give me
the strength to cross the river. Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that, the second man prayed, "God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river." Poof! God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed, "God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the river." Poof! He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.

Thanks to John Chadsey
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Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false?

1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.
3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 years.
4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.
5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart!
6. Only 7 per cent of the population are lefties.
7. Forty people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.
8. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old.
9. The average person over 50 will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.
10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.
11. The average housefly lives for one month.
12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.
13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.
14 The average computer user blink s 7 times a minute.
15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than any other time of day.
16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.
17. The REAL reason ostrich’s stick their head in the sand is to search for water.
18. The only two animals that can see behind themselves without turning their heads are the rabbit and the parrot.
19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a Gentleman" and "Tootsie."
20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem.
21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.
22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane, just in case there is a crash.
23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.
24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are used in vein transplant surgery.
25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th cousins.
26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.

See answers below
...
...
...
They are all supposedly true.... Who knows, maybe they are. Now go back and think about #16

Thanks to John Chadsey
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In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 18.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side.

And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast. God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep -fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good."

And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then Satan created HMOs.

Thanks to David Lamb
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About 3 a.m. one very cold morning in march 2004, a state police officer responded to a call: there was a car off the shoulder of the road on the outskirts of Casper. He located the car, stuck in deep snow and with the engine still running.

Pulling in behind the car with his emergency lights on, the officer walked to the driver's door to find an older man passed out behind the wheel with a nearly empty vodka bottle on the seat beside him.

The driver came awake when the officer tapped on the window. Seeing the rotating lights in his rear view mirror and the state policeman standing next to his car, the man panicked, jerked the gearshift into "drive" and hit the gas. The car's speedometer was showing 20-30-40 and then 50 mph, but it was still stuck in the snow, wheels spinning.

The policeman, having a sense of humor, began running in place next to the speeding, but still stationary, car.

The driver was totally freaked thinking the officer was actually keeping up with him.

This goes on for about 30 seconds when the patrolman yelled at the man ordering him to "pull over!" the man obeyed, turned his wheel and stopped the engine.

Needless to say, the man from Casper was arrested and is probably still shaking his head over the state patrolman who could run 50 miles per hour.

Who says policemen don't have a sense of humor?

Thanks to David Lamb
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Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.

*Prison Sentence*

Jimmy was sent to prison for his crimes but he told the warden he wasn't worried at all about serving his full term.

The warden asked him why, since most prisoners immediately start planning how they can get out early.

Jimmy replied, "Well, my wife has never let me finish a sentence the whole time I've been married!"

(-:][:-)

*Scale Pondering*

Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store.

"Have you ever seen one of these before?" one asked.

"Yeah, my mom and dad have one," the other replied.

"What's it for?" asked the first boy.

"I don't know," the second boy answered. "I think you stand on it and it either makes you mad or cry. That's what it does to my Dad and Mom."

(-:][:-)

*Roman Numerals*

One of my college friends asked a group of us for advice on organizing his final report for the year.

"Why don't you use Roman numerals to head the different sections?" another friend suggested.

"I thought of that," he replied. "But my keyboard doesn't have Roman numerals on it."

(-:][:-)

*Navy Shots*

While I'm not sure of the procedure now, when I was in the Navy, every so often, you got umpteen shots, whether you needed them or not. The carrier pilot in front of me as we passed thru the line asked for a drink of water after receiving what seemed to be at least a dozen different needles.

The Corpsman asked if he was dizzy.

"No, not at all." he replied. "I just wanna see if I'm still water-tight."

(-:][:-)

*Software Training*

A fellow computer programmer for a consulting group had designed some software for one of our largest accounts. He asked my help in putting it into operation.

At first, he handled most of the work. Eventually, though, he asked me to help with the last phase of the training.

When I sat down with one woman and told her I would be showing her how to make changes to the files, she sighed with relief. "I'm so glad you're teaching me instead of him."

Surprised, I said that my colleague was far more experienced than I was.

"Yes," she said, "but I feel much more comfortable with you. I get nervous around really smart people."

Eye Laugh

"BF Fight"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=36

"Oak Street"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw241

"Abstract Failure"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=35

"Noting But Air"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw240

"Jeopardy"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw231

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/bugged.html - - Bugged By Ads "If you saw what looked like an insect on your television screen, what weapon would you reach for? A wad of tissues, perhaps? Okay, let's make the bug more menacing than your average house invader -- let's make it a cockroach. I'm guessing you'd grab a sacrificial magazine, roll it up, and take a swing at the screen. A swing strong enough to demolish the roach (you hope), while leaving your TV set more or less intact..."
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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PC World's Info Centers - - http://www.pcworld.com/resource/allinfocenters.asp - - Doing product research? Wondering about spyware, Windows, and other major technology topics? Provisioning your small business or home office? This PC World site provides a one-stop shop for everything you need: reviews, charts, how-to's, articles, downloads, and pricing info on the products and topics that most interest you.
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New York Times: Obituaries - - http://www.nytimes.com/pages/obituaries/ - - This site is the online version of the New York Times obituaries. Find newspaper obituaries and online obituaries. Read an historical obituary or a celebrity obituary. NOTE: you must register (free) with the paper before you can read the articles.
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U.S. Legal Documents and Forms - - http://www.uslegalforms.com/ - - U.S. Legal Forms is the original and premiere site for legal forms on the Internet. Over 36,000 legal documents and forms, including wills, name change, real estate and more.
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Mortgage Calculator - - http://www.bankrate.com/brm/mortgage-calculator.asp - - Enter the requested information and click "calculate" to see the results. Also available is a amortization feature, which allows you to create a customized amortization table for your loan.
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CIA: The World Factbook - - http://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/ - - The World Factbook remains the CIA's most widely disseminated and most popular product, now averaging more than 6 million visits each month. In addition, tens of thousands of government, commercial, academic, and other Web sites link to or replicate the online version of the Factbook. Although this reference site provides information as of 5 May 2006, it will be updated biweekly throughout the year to provide wide-ranging and hard-to-locate information about the background, geography, people, government, economy, communications, transportation, military, and transnational issues for countries from Afghanistan to Zimbabwe.
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Kid-safe Directories and Search Engines - - http://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/ - - The kid-safe directories listed on this site by SearchEngineWatch use human beings to filter out sites that might be considered objectionable for viewing by children. These usually include sites that deal with explicit sexual matters, porn sites, violence, hate speech, gambling and drug use.
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JetStream - - http://www.srh.noaa.gov/srh/jetstream/ - - This site is designed to help you learn about weather and weather safety. The information contained in JetStream is arranged by subject; beginning with global and large scale weather patterns followed by lessons on air masses, wind patterns, cloud formations, thunderstorms, lightning, hail, damaging winds, tornados, tropical storms, cyclones and flooding.
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------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
May 5, 2006
Think Safety While Enjoying the Outdoors
Today's Message is from Mo Munoz (a Houston Albemarle employee).

It is always so sad to hear of bad incidents that occur when someone is trying to enjoy some time out in the woods or water.

Recently, a mother lost her daughter to an attack from a bear. There are always reports of sharks attacking swimmers. Were these people careless or unaware of the possible dangers in the woods or water? Maybe, but I don't believe they were. Most persons are so involved in enjoying themselves that they tend to forget the simple word; "Safety". Whether it is bears, wolves, coyotes, sharks, snakes, or other creatures in the wild, one must remember that we are entering "their" domain.

We are the ones intruding in their daily lives and in their homes and must remember safety for ourselves, our loved ones, and our friends.

In 1963, while training for the 3rd Marine Division Recon Battalion, I lost one friend to a shark and another, my lieutenant, to encephalitis from a mosquito bite he received the same night on a little island off Okinawa. Both of these deaths could have been avoided.

While in rubber boats at night approaching this little island, with the moonlight we could see a shark's dorsal fin close to our boats and the word was passed on to the lieutenant in the lead boat to call back our scout swimmer but he didn't.

The mosquito bite could have been avoided if we had been issued some type of mosquito repellant and we were not. Everyone received mosquito bites that night, but my lieutenant was the only one infected with encephalitis.

It doesn't matter where or what one is doing, whether at work or out somewhere for fun, Safety should always be kept in mind. So this summer, while you are planning your vacation or some time out in the woods or water, please remember to always include anything that will keep you and yours safe and keep thinking "Safety" while enjoying the outdoors.

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
May 3, 2006
Valve Handling

Today's Safety From the Heart message was submitted by David Craig.

Valve Handles: When opening or closing a (manual) valve handle use CAUTION.

On December 2, 2005, while working at the T-19M-1 and T-11M-2 in the process of recovering heptane, in order not to send any heptane to the pollution area, I attempted to close a manual valve at the T-300-9.

While everything seemed to be in order, I put my hand on the valve handle and then pushed the handle toward the closed position when it came off. My left thumb was injured after jamming into a steel beam next to the valve. The valve handle had a bolt in the center, which wasn't screwed down properly.

Make sure before opening or closing any manual valve that it has been bolted down properly.

David Craig
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ. www.mcc2000.net
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Grandma's Hands

Grandma, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench. She didn't move, just sat with her head down staring at her hands. When I sat down beside her she didn't acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat I wondered if she was OK.

Finally, not really wanting disturb her but wanting to check on her at the same time, I asked her if she was OK. She raised her head and looked at me and smiled. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking," she said in a clear strong voice.

"I didn't mean to disturb you, grandma, but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK," I explained to her.

"Have you ever looked at your hands," she asked. "I mean really looked at your hands?"

I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point she was making.

Grandma smiled and related this story: "Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years. These hands, though wrinkled, shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life.

"They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the floor They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child my mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots.

They held my husband and wiped my tears when he went off to war.

"They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent. They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son. Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special. They wrote my letters to him and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse.

"They have held my children and grandchildren, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand.

"They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw. And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer.

"These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of life. But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home. And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of Christ."

I will never look at my hands the same again. But I remember God reached out and took my grandma's hands and led her home.

When my hands are hurt or sore or when I stroke the face of my children and husband I think of grandma. I know she has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God.

I, too, want to touch the face of God and feel His hands upon my face.

Thanks to "Fuzzy" Vaughn
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TO MEET SUCH A MAN

I sat, with two friends, in the picture window of a quaint restaurant just off the corner of the town-square. The food and the company were both especially good that day.

As we talked, my attention was drawn outside, across the street. There, walking into town, was a man who appeared to be carrying all his worldly goods on his back. He was carrying, a well-worn sign that read, "I will work for food." My heart sank.

I brought him to the attention of my friends and noticed that others around us had stopped eating to focus on him. Heads moved in a mixture of sadness and disbelief.

We continued with our meal, but his image lingered in my mind. We finished our meal and went our separate ways. I had errands to do and quickly set out to accomplish them. I glanced toward the town square, looking somewhat halfheartedly for the strange visitor. I was fearful, knowing that seeing him again would call some response.. I drove through town and saw nothing of him. I made some purchases at a store and got back in my car.

Deep within me, the Spirit of God kept speaking to me: "Don't go back to the office until you've at least driven once more around the square."

Then with some hesitancy, I headed back into town. As I turned the square's third corner, I saw him. He was standing on the steps of the store front church, going through his sack.

I stopped and looked; feeling both compelled to speak to him, yet wanting to drive on. The empty parking space on the corner seemed to be a sign from God: an invitation to park. I pulled in, got out and approached the town's newest visitor.

"Looking for the pastor?" I asked.

"Not really," he replied, "just resting."

"Have you eaten today?"

"Oh, I ate something early this morning.."

"Would you like to have lunch with me?"

"Do you have some work I could do for you?"

"No work," I replied. "I commute here to work from the city, but I would like to take you to lunch."

"Sure," he replied with a smile.

As he began to gather his things, I asked some surface questions. Where you headed?"

"St. Louis."

"Where you from?"

"Oh, all over; mostly Florida."

"How long you been walking?"

"Fourteen years," came the reply.

I knew I had met someone unusual. We sat across from each other in the same restaurant I had left earlier. His face was weathered slightly beyond his 38 years. His eyes were dark yet clear, and he spoke with an eloquence and articulation that was startling. He removed his jacket to reveal a bright red T-shirt that said, "Jesus is The Never Ending Story."

Then Daniel's story began to unfold. He had seen rough times early in life. He'd made some wrong choices and reaped the consequences. Fourteen years earlier, while backpacking across the country, he had stopped on the beach in Daytona. He tried to hire on with some men who were putting up a large tent and some equipment. A concert, he thought.

He was hired, but the tent would not house a concert but revival services, and in those services he saw life more clearly. He gave his life over to God

"Nothing's been the same since," he said, "I felt the Lord telling me to keep walking, and so I did, some 14 years now."

"Ever think of stopping?" I asked.

"Oh, once in a while, when it seems to get the best of me But God has given me this calling. I give out Bibles . That's what's in my sack. I work to buy food and Bibles, and I give them out when His Spirit leads."

I sat amazed. My homeless friend was not homeless. He was on a mission and lived this way by choice. The question burned inside for a moment and then I asked: "What's it like?"

"What?"

"To walk into a town carrying all your things on your back and to show your sign?"

"Oh, it was humiliating at first. People would stare and make comments. Once someone tossed a piece of half-eaten bread and made a gesture that certainly didn't make me feel welcome. But then it

became humbling to realize that God was using me to touch lives and change people's concepts of other folks like me."

My concept was changing, too. We finished our dessert and gathered his things. Just outside the door, he paused. He turned to me and said, "Come Ye blessed of my Father and inherit the kingdom I've prepared for you. For when I was hungry you gave me food, when I was thirsty you gave me drink, a stranger and you took me in."

I felt as if we were on holy ground. "Could you use another Bible?" I asked.

He said he preferred a certain translation. It traveled well and was not too heavy. It was also his personal favorite. "I've read through it 14 times," he said.

"I'm not sure we've got one of those, but let's stop by our church and see" I was able to find my new friend a Bible that would do well, and he seemed very grateful.

"Where are you headed from here?" I asked.

"Well, I found this little map on the back of this amusement park coupon."

"Are you hoping to hire on there for awhile?"

"No, I just figure I should go there. I figure someone under that star right there needs a Bible, so that's where I'm going next."

He smiled, and the warmth of his spirit radiated the sincerity of his mission. I drove him back to the town-square where we'd met two hours earlier, and as we drove, it started raining. We parked and unloaded his things.

"Would you sign my autograph book?" he asked. "I like to keep messages from folks I meet."

I wrote in his little book that his commitment to his calling had touched my life. I encouraged him to stay strong.. And I left him with a verse of scripture from Jeremiah, "I know the plans I have for you, declared the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you; Plans to give you a future and a hope."

"Thanks, man," he said. "I know we just met and we're really just strangers, but I love you."

"I know," I said, "I love you, too." "The Lord is good!"

"Yes, He is. How long has it been since someone hugged you?" I asked.

"A long time," he replied

And so on the busy street corner in the drizzling rain, my new friend and I embraced, and I felt deep inside that I had been changed. He put his things on his back, smiled his winning smile and said, "See you in the New Jerusalem."

"I'll be there!" was my reply.

He began his journey again. He headed away with his sign dangling from his bedroll and pack of Bibles. He stopped, turned and said, "When you see something that makes you think of me, will you pray for me?"

"You bet," I shouted back, "God bless."

"God bless." And that was the last I saw of him.

Late that evening as I left my office, the wind blew strong. The cold front had settled hard upon the town. I bundled up and hurried to my car.. As I sat back and reached for the emergency brake, I saw them... a pair of well-worn brown work gloves neatly laid over the length of the handle. I picked them up and thought of my friend and wondered if his hands would stay warm that night without them.

Then I remembered his words: "If you see something that makes you think of me, will you pray for me?" Today his gloves lie on my desk in my office. They help me to see the world and its people in a new way, and they help me remember those two hours with my unique friend and to pray for his ministry. "See you in the New Jerusalem," he said. Yes, Daniel, I know I will...

Thanks to Quinton Riggins
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THE U IN JESUS

Before U were thought of or time had begun,
God stuck U in the name of His Son.

And each time U pray, you'll see it's true,
You can't spell out JesUs and not include U.

You're a pretty big part of His wonderful name,
For U, He was born; that's why He came.

And His great love for U is the reason He died.
It even takes U to spell crUcified.

Isn't it thrilling and splendidly grand
He rose from the dead, with U in His plan?

The stones split away, the gold trUmpet blew,
and this word resUrrection is spelled with a U.

When JesUs left earth at His upward ascension,
He felt there was one thing He just had to mention.

"Go into the world and tell them it's true
That I love them all - Just like I love U."

Thanks to "Fuzzy" Vaughn
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I had met the Forsyth family a couple of times and I knew they were building a family camp. I assumed they were building it as a sideline. Last week I had the opportunity to sit on a bench under a shade tree with Terry and listen to his testimony. He IS building a family camp in NorthWest Arkansas but it is not a sideline. He was a home building contractor in Texarkana who felt the LORD wanted him to do something different than building houses. He sold his office in Texarkana and moved to Saint Paul and is building a camp. Terry has used the money from the sell of his business to purchase the land, building materials, etc. He is committed to staying debt free on this project so he and his family are building with the help of volunteers. If you are ever up in that neck of the woods stop by and visit with the Forsyth family. They are the real deal.....

http://www.fortrock.org/

Thanks to Randy Dees
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Activities and Events of Interest
~~~
The Barksdale AFB Holiday in Dixie "Defenders Of Liberty" Big Airshow Saturday and Sunday, May 13-14, gates open at 9:00 am, Show starts at 10:00 am
~~~
The Blossom Festival and World Championship Steak Cook-Off is Coming May 19 and 20. If you enjoy beautiful Magnolia Blossoms, good food, great entertainment, and southern hospitality, Magnolia, Arkansas is where you need to be on the third weekend in May.
~~~
Albemarle Kids' Fishing Tournament - June 3
~~~
The Purple Hull Pea Festival is scheduled for June 23 and 24
~~~
The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/

01. Pfc. Alva L. Gaylord, 25, of Carrollton, Mo., died of injuries sustained in Qasr Ar Riyy, Iraq on May 5, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his RG-31 Mine Protected Vehicle during a combat clearing operation. Gaylord was assigned to the Army National Guard's 110th Engineer Battalion, Kansas City, Mo.

02. Pfc. Benjamin T. Zieske, 20, of Concord, Calif., died of injuries sustained in Kirkuk, Iraq on May 3, when an improvised explosive device detonated during a dismounted combat patrol. Zieske was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 327th Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

The Department of Defense announced the death of three soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Baghdad, Iraq on May 5, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their HMMWV during combat operations. Killed were:
03. 1st. Sgt. Carlos N. Saenz, 46, of Las Vegas, Nev.
04. Spc. Teodoro Torres, 29, of Las Vegas, Nev.

05. Sgt. Nathan J. Vacho, 29, of Janesville, Wis.
Saenz and Torres were assigned to the Army Reserve’s 490th Civil Affairs Battalion, Abilene, Texas. Vacho was assigned to the Army Reserve’s 489th Civil Affairs Battalion, Knoxville, Tenn. During Operation Iraqi Freedom, all three were attached to the 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division.

06. Sgt. Matthew J. Fenton, 24, of Little Ferry, N.J., died May 5 at National Naval Medical Center, Bethesda, Md., from wounds received while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar province, Iraq on April 26. He was assigned to Marine Forces Reserve’s Inspector and Instructor Staff, 1st Battalion, 25th Marine Regiment, 4th Marine Division, Fort Devens, Mass.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two Marines, who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
07. Lance Cpl. Leon B. Deraps, 19, of Jamestown, Mo., died May 6 while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to the 7th Engineer Support Battalion, 1st Marine Logistics Group, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.
08. Cpl. Cory L. Palmer, 21, of Seaford, Del., died May 6 at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio, from wounds received while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar province, Iraq, on May 1. He was assigned to the 2nd Reconnaissance Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

09. Staff Sgt. Gregory A. Wagner, 35, of Mitchell, S.D., died of injuries sustained in Baghdad, Iraq, on May 8, when an improvised fire projectile struck his HMMWV during combat operation. Wagner was assigned to the Army National Guard's 1st Battalion, 147th Field Artillery, Yankton, S.D.

The Department of Defense announced the death of 10 soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died east of Abad, Afghanistan, in the Kunar province, on May 5, when their CH-47 Chinook helicopter crashed during combat operations. Killed were:
10. Lt. Col. Joseph J. Fenty, 41, of Fla.
11. Chief Warrant Officer 3 Eric W. Totten, 34, of Texas.
12. Chief Warrant Officer 2 Christopher B. Donaldson, 28, of Ill.
13. Staff Sgt. Christopher T. Howick, 34, of Hamburg, N.Y.
14. Sgt. Bryan A. Brewster, 24, of Fontana, Calif.
15. Sgt. John C. Griffith, 33, of Las Vegas, Nev.
16. Sgt. Jeffery S. Wiekamp, 23, of Utopia, Texas.
17. Spc. Justin L. O’Donohoe, 27, of San Diego, Calif.
18. Spc. David N. Timmons Jr., 23, of Lewisville, N.C.
19. Pfc. Brian M. Moquin Jr., 19, of Worcester, Mass.
All those killed were assigned to the 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry), Fort Drum N.Y. Fenty, O’Donohoe, Timmons and Moquin were part of the 71st Cavalry Regiment. Totten, Donaldson, Howick, Brewster, Griffith, and Wiekamp were part of the 3rd Battalion, 10th Aviation Regiment.


20. Spc. Aaron P. Latimer, 26, of Ennis, Texas, died in Mosul, Iraq, on May 9. Latimer was assigned to the 562nd Engineer Company, 172nd Stryker Brigade Combat Team, Fort Wainwright, Alaska.

21. Sgt. Alessandro Carbonaro, 28, of Bethesda, Md., died May 10, at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center, Germany, from wounds received while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar province, Iraq, on May 1. He was assigned to 2nd Reconnaissance Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Ad Diwaniyah, Iraq, on May 6, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their M1083 cargo truck during combat operations. Both soldiers were assigned to the Army National Guard's 3rd Battalion, 172nd Infantry (Mountain), Brewer, Maine.
Killed were:
22. Staff Sgt. Dale J. Kelly Jr., 48, of Richmond, Maine.
23. Staff Sgt. David M. Veverka, 25, of Jamestown, Pa.

~~

Missing WWII Airmen are Identified The Defense POW/Missing Personnel (DPMO) announced today that two members of a four-man Army Air Forces crew missing in action from World War II have been identified, and are being returned to their families for burial with full military honors.

The four are pilot Capt. Douglas R. Wight of Westfield, N.J.; co-pilot 1st Lt. Herbert W. Evans of Rapid City S.D.; crew chief Cpl. John W. Hanlon of Arnett, Okla.; and radio operator Pfc. Gerald L. Rugers, Jr., of Tacoma, Wash. Evans and Rugers were individually identified, while group remains of all four will be buried at Arlington National Cemetery near Washington, D.C. on Tuesday, May 9.

On March 27, 1944, a C-46 crewed by these four airmen departed a base in Kunming, China, on route to Sookerating, India, as part of the massive allied resupply missions over the Himalayan Mountains, referred to as the “Hump.” En route one of the crewmen called out for a bearing, suggesting the aircraft was lost. There was no further communication with the crew. The aircraft never reached its destination, and searches during and following World War II failed to locate the crash site.

Officials from the People’s Republic of China notified the U.S. in early 2001 that the wreckage of an American WWII aircraft had been found on Meiduobai Mountain in a remote area of Tibet. The following year, a joint U.S.-P.R.C. team, led by the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC), excavated the site where they found human remains, aircraft debris and personal items related to the crew.

JPAC scientists and Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory specialists used mitochondrial DNA as one of the forensic tools to help identify the remains. Laboratory analysis of dental remains also confirmed their identifications.

For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO website at http://www.dtic.mil/dpmo or call (703)-699-1169.

~

Navy Airmen Missing in Action from World War II are Identified The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of seven U.S. servicemen, missing in action from World War II, have been identified and are being returned to their families for burial with full military honors.

The are Ensign Leland L. Davis, Jackson, Miss.; Ensign Robert F. Keller, Wichita, Kan.; Seaman 2nd Class Elwin Alford, Bogalusa, La.; Seaman 2nd Class Dee Hall, Syria, Okla.; Aviation Machinist Mate John H. Hathaway, Lafayette, Ind.; Aviation Radioman 2nd Class Robert A. Smith, Glen Dive, Mont.; and Aviation Pilot 3rd Class Albert J. Gyorfi, Wilbur, Wash.; all Navy.

The group remains of all seven are to be buried at Arlington National Cemetery near Washington, D.C., on Wednesday, as are the individually identified remains of Davis, Alford and Hathaway. Hall has already been buried in Oklahoma, and the families are setting individual burials for the others.

The seven-man crew was aboard a U.S. Navy PBY-5 Catalina that took off from Kodiak Island, Alaska, on June 14, 1942, to attack Japanese targets in Kiska Harbor.

They encountered inclement weather near the target, as well as heavy Japanese anti-aircraft fire. Their plane crashed on the Japanese-held island of Kiska with all seven aboard.

In August 1943, the U.S. retook Kiska Island from the Japanese. Wreckage of the PBY-5 was found on the side of Kiska Volcano. The remains of the crew were buried in a common grave marked “Seven U.S.N. Airmen” with a wooden marker. Following the war, attempts to locate the common grave were unsuccessful and the remains of all seven were declared to be non-recoverable.

In 2002, a wildlife biologist notified DPMO that he had found the wreckage of a World War II aircraft on the slope of Kiska Volcano. Using that information, the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC) excavated the crash site in August 2003 where they found debris from the PBY-5 as well as crew-related items. The JPAC team also located the wooden marker as well as the remains buried nearby. Subsequent JPAC laboratory analysis led to the individual identifications of all seven crewmembers.

Approximately 78,000 servicemembers are unaccounted-for from World War II War. For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO Web Site at http://www.dtic.mil/dpmo/ or call (703) 699-1169.

~

Soldier MIA from the Korean War is Identified The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of a U.S. serviceman, missing in action from the Korean War, have been identified and returned to his family for burial with full military honors.

He is U.S. Army Corporal Henry D. Connell of Springfield, Mass. He will be buried in his hometown on Saturday.

Connell was assigned to Company L, 8th Cavalry Regiment, when his unit engaged North Korean forces near Taegu, South Korea, in September 1950. He sustained injuries from a fall while evacuating wounded soldiers from the battlefield. Connell was sent to a military hospital in Japan, from which he was later reported – erroneously – to be absent without leave.

An investigation proved that Connell had returned to his unit, now battling Communist Chinese forces in North Korea in early November 1950 near Unsan, about 60 miles north of the capital of Pyongyang. He had been reported missing in action from that battle.

Between 1991-94, North Korea turned 208 boxes of remains believed to contain the remains of 200-400 U.S. servicemen. One of those boxes, received on July 12, 1993, contained two dog tags for Connell, as well as human remains. The accompanying North Korean documents indicated the remains had been exhumed in Unsan County.

Over the next several years, forensic anthropologists at the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC) at Hickam AFB, Hawaii, were able to determine that the box contained the remains of at least four individuals. Some of those remains represented a 14-18-year-old male who stood approximately 70 inches tall at the time of his death. Korean War medical records indicated that Connell was 17 years, 9 months of age, and stood 69.5 inches tall.

Among several forensic identification tools, scientists from JPAC and the Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory (AFDIL) also used mitochondrial DNA as one of the forensic tools in the identification of Connell’s remains, matching a DNA sequence from a maternal relative.

For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO Web site at http://www.dtic.mil/dpmo or call (703) 699-1169.

http://icasualties.org/oif/default.aspx
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Volume 11, Number 53 --- 16 May 2006
Tourbus Home -- http://www.InternetTourbus.com
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TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPICS: Google Desktop / Free Fax / Myspace

In today's TOURBUS, find out who is claiming that Google's Desktop software is Evil, and why. Also in this issue, how to send a free fax on the 'Net, and more articles in my series about Myspace safety and privacy. Read on!

-------------------------
Is Google Desktop Evil?
-------------------------

A reader concerned about online privacy wrote to me and asked:

"I got a warning from a friend who told me not to use the Google Desktop program. He says it will secretly make copies of my personal files and send them to Google's own servers, and they could also be made available to the government. Is this true?"

If you've gotten a copy of an email saying things like "Google Copies Your Hard Drive - Government Smiles in Anticipation" and "Consumers Should Not Use New Google Desktop" -- you can relax... the Google Desktop software won't secretly send copies of your love letters to Uncle Sam. Here's the truth about the "Search Across Computers" feature that was added to Google Desktop software earlier this year.

Yes, it's true that if you use the Search Across Computers feature, Google Desktop will transfer an encrypted copy of certain files to a Google server, so you can search for files on all of your computers at once. It's a handy tool for power users who have files scattered across multiple computers. But nothing is being done in secret, or without your permission, and your personal files are NOT available to other users.

So why are some privacy pundits claiming that if files are stored on Google servers, then the government, business rivals or an ex-spouse could easily obtain them with a subpoena? To get all the facts about the Search Across Computers feature, and the identity of the *real* bad guys in this story, continue reading here:

http://askbobrankin.com/is_google_desktop_evil.html

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Send a Free Fax
-----------------

Don't have a fax machine? That's no longer an obstacle to sending or receiving a fax. And the news is even better than that. You can use the Internet to send a fax for free.

There are a bunch of websites that make this claim, but some of them ask for your credit card in order to open a "free trial account." If you want a truly FREE internet fax service, with no strings attached, then FaxZero fits the bill. It will help you send a fax to any fax machine in the United States (including Puerto Rico) or Canada for free. For complete details on how it works, and other free fax alternatives, click here:

http://askbobrankin.com/send_a_free_fax.html

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Myspace: Safety and Privacy
-----------------------------

Are you concerned about young teens who are using Myspace? I've written a series of articles that look closely how kids are using Myspace, what they (and their parents) can do to stay safe, and the privacy concerns of social networking that you may not have thought about. Here are some of the articles in the series:

* [PRIVATE MYSPACE PROFILE] - "My child is 16 and has a Myspace page. He tells me the only way to make his Myspace profile private is to set his age to 14 or 15 years old. Is there a way to set the account to private (so only friends can visit their page) without lying about your age?"

http://askbobrankin.com/private_myspace_profile.html

* [BLOCKING MYSPACE] - "My daughter is 12 years old and I just found out she has a Myspace account with some inappropriate content. The account was deleted, but I want to make sure she has no access to Myspace in the future. How can I do this?"

http://askbobrankin.com/blocking_myspace.html

* [MYSPACE SAFETY TIPS] - Are teens putting themselves at risk by posting too much personal information on Myspace? Is Myspace a danger to kids that should be tightly controlled or shut down?

http://askbobrankin.com/myspace_safety_tips.html

If you are a regular user of Myspace and want to learn more about customizing your Myspace home page, or how to use the advanced search features, read these other articles in the Myspace series:

* [MYSPACE LAYOUTS]
http://askbobrankin.com/myspace_layouts.html


* [ADDING MUSIC TO MYSPACE]
http://askbobrankin.com/add_music_to_myspace.html


* [MYSPACE GRAPHICS]
http://askbobrankin.com/myspace_graphics.html


* [SEARCHING IN MYSPACE]
http://askbobrankin.com/searching_in_myspace.html

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That's all for now, see you next time! -- Bob Rankin

+---------------------------------------+
==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]==
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238 Copyright 1995-2005, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved Tourbus News Service - http://tourbus.com/news.html Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the Tourbus Website - http://www.TOURBUS.com
========================
.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Scheduled Activities
~~~
Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 8 p.m. Monday - Friday. At noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and at 7 p.m. Sunday at 914 N. Vine
~~~
Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
~~~
Columbia County Diabetes Support Group - Every third Monday, 7:00 p.m. room 222, Magnolia Hospital
~~~
"Focus on the Family" with Dr. James Dobson weekday afternoons at 1 PM on KVMA am 630 it's a great show!
~~~
MCC - Abraham Prayer - Sunday at 5:00 p.m and Wednesday from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm
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MCC - Early Morning Prayer - Monday - Friday, From 6:30 am to 8:00 am
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MCC - "Beth Moore" Video Class - Thursday nights at 5:45 pm
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MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets at 1051 Columbia 36 the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
~~~
MCC - Firm Foundations Class, Sunday 9:30 to 10:15 a.m
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MCC - Meadow Brook Nursing Home Ministry Tuesday from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m
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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
~~~
MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
~~~
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
~~~
Narcotics Anonymous 5-6 pm every Monday at 220 Pine street.
~~~
TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) 5 pm every Tuesday in the Magnolia Hospital break room.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Acts 13:5-8 Acts 24:5,6,10,13 Luke 21:25-28 Acts 4:36-37 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII
P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. For the "Blog" version just go to http://bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com/ to see the latest issue. We also have a site [http://bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com/] where we post photos that I like.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. Of course "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleat2q.blogspot.com to see the latest issue (usually updated sometime Friday evening or Saturday morning. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2006 before it was sent. ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>